F3 New Orleans

Tag: Goats in the Machine

  • Beating Tires and Rocking Out to Skynyrd – from Smooth Operator

    Beating tires and rocking out to Skynyrd
    7/17/23
    Attendance
    Goldilox
    Paradox
    Goose
    Pope
    Cardinal
    Goats in the Machine
    Paradiddle
    Econoline
    FNG
    Smooth Operator

    I have always been a big fan of Lynyrd Skynyrd since I was a kid. Their music reminds me of hanging out with my dad whom always seemed to have their music on in his old truck. The other day I was feeling stuck in a rut and decided to let Spotify try and help clear my head. “4 walls of Raiford” by Lynyrd Skynyrd came on and instantly gave me a fresh new prospective on my problems. My little problems weren’t anything compared to this poor Vietnam Vet whom got caught up in a bad spot and ended up doing time in Raiford prison in Florida. Anyway lets get into it.

    I showed up this morning after a long wet night at work, but was feeling pretty good with a couple new additional props for this mornings beatdown. Lox showed up first with a FNG, and after that it was like the PAX flood gates opened up. Around 5:10 Goats in the Machine decided to grace us with his presence, it’s good to have you back buddy. I was hoping to see an ole Chevy pulling in to the subdivision around 0518 but I guess we will have to wait till Tuesday Tuff to start Frenchy’s comeback.

    Warm ups went as follows:
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Windmills
    Arm circles
    Cherry Pickers
    Mountain Climbers

    Cadence left something to be desired, I’ll go ahead and blame in on sleep deprivation along with the rest of the beatdown explanation.

    THANG

    After warm ups, we went up on the stage and picked out a cell mate. For here little JBL came to life with 4 walls of Raiford. One half the cell would be doing box jumps and the other would be doing merkins and we would switch in between verses. This proved to be pretty tough with the long dragged out guitar solos and YHC thought it was perfect. No reason to get in a hurry.

    After the song finished we moseyed to the bumper and back to the flag where YHC set up 2 tires I found on side the road along with an 8 lb. maul and a really cool looking 8 to 10 lb. axe hammer which was a YHC impulse buy. The second part of the thang was a hammer swing timer which YHC felt the need to put in there to signify the digging ditches for the chain gang portion of the beatdown. While the PAX would be doing AMRAP of Man-makers . Half the PAX would be responsible for getting 20 hammer swings done on the two old tires. This worked pretty good but I probably forgot to mention it the first time around that only half the PAX needed to swing since all the PAX ended up beating them tires like they was the devil.

    After this we Moseyed around the mini track and headed back to the Jailhouse (Stage) for another Jail cell beatdown while JBL jamming to songs like Simple Man, Balled of Curtis Loew, Tuesday’s Gone, Sweet Home Alabama, Free Bird.

    The second round of the jail cell beatdown would go like this one cell mate would complete 8 reps of burpees while the other cell mate would complete 8 reps of prison squats. Then they would switch. After this we would move down to 7 reps and so forth until we reached 0 planking up upon completion. As a group we moseyed to the bumper and back to the tire beatdown for more hammer swings and man-makers. YHC must have reiterated the need for only half the PAX to give us the 20 reps of hammer swings to move on because we got it right this time. After we completed this along with more man-makers AMRAP, we moseyed around the track back to the jailhouse for today’s final round of jailhouse beatdown.

    The final round of Jailhouse beatdown went similar to the initial round. It was set to the song “Mr. Banker” and the exercises to complete would be Apolo Onos and Freak Nasties switching in between verses again. After switching 3 or 4 times YHC showed the PAX mercy and we abandoned the Freak Nasties due to YHC wanting to get those glutes some extra work.

    From here, we had roughly 5 minutes left and YHC felt a strong pull to beat those tires again so that’s what we did. The other half the PAX beat on some tires 2 by 2 while all the PAX did more man-makers until 0559 when YHC called it.

    Announcement

    Animal shirt went from Econoline to a well deserving Pope.
    Our new FNG supplied by LOX was given the name Longhorn due to being from Oklahoma and a Sooner fan.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Thanks to everyone who came out and put in the work, y’all kicked this beatdown’s butt.
    SYITG
    Smooth Operator

  • Hit ‘Dem Commitments! – from Goose

    A number of the PAX were with their wives on a married couples’ retreat with YHC over the weekend at Lumen Christi, and the rest of the PAX were gracious enough to meet us there at 6am for the official Saturday beatdown. The morning had already started with a number of awesome surprises:
    1. Two of the non-F3 retreatants came out after seemingly no interest shown the day before, one of whom had driven down from St. Louis. YHC happened to pack the trophy F3 St. Louis shirt won during the 2022 Make America Burpee Again CSAUP, and I only remembered that it was in my bag when he showed up that morning. It was an awesome “coincidence”, and the newly minted “Photoshop” will now be properly attired when he posts back home.
    2. A tall, dark, hooded being crept up silently in the cold darkness and refused to answer requests for identification until YHC recognized him when he was only about 10 feet away. Enron was ready to jump the stranger, but his wide smile and goofy laugh revealed the last Cotter we expected to see that morning–it was Cutthroat! After from swearing off F3, hills, and anything non-crossfit, he couldn’t fight that feeling anymore, and he was ready to battle the snakes, ant piles, and elevation that only this AO could deliver.
    3. Ben Naquin, to be later named “Prius”, caved to his brother-in-law, Fence Post’s pressure to get busy livin’, and despite a helluva tough year including some new physical limitations, powered out an incredible first beatdown with tenacity and perseverance matched by few.

    The joy of the 12 PAX at such a great showing was palpable, and the warmup was executed with high energy–a lot of the usuals with no arms; YHC’s shoulder is still needing some rest, so it would be lots of legs and abs today!

    The theme that would carry us through the day was the same as the retreat: Domestic Church–particularly the 7 commitments each couple chooses to improve upon over the course of their journey: individual prayer, prayer with Scripture, couple prayer, family prayer, couple dialogue, rule of life, and an annual retreat.

    Started with a combined individual prayer/prayer with Scripture, which was represented by an Indian run around the campus with the last guy dropping off for three genuflections before sprinting to the front of the line. Just like individual prayer, you gotta break the rhythm of the day to stop what you’re doing and hit your knees–it’s not gonna happen on its own!

    We stopped on top of the hill for couple prayer and partnered up for a lazy Dora. Each “couple” went back and forth offering their “prayers” in the form of splitting duty on 100 wife pleasers (the non-“praying” partner held bridge), 200 squats (other partner held Al Gore), and 300 flutter kicks (other partner held 6 inches). It was only later in the day, once the sun was up, that many of the PAX were able to see just how many ant piles were on that hill–it was truly a miracle no one laid in one or more and got munched. It really looked like we were all clear in the darkness of the gloom.

    Next was family prayer–a ring of fire with all PAX doing constant smurf jacks to represent a bunch of active kids waiting their turn to pray, or in this case, squat jump. We made it to 50 before YHC called it to make time for couple dialogue.

    Any Domestic Church veteran will tell you that couple dialogue, though typically a sleeper, is the secret sauce. This is where the real money is, where the major growth happens for the couples who take advantage of it. A couple dialogue allows a couple to make measurable progress–it takes time an effort, but if you don’t give up early, it’ll change you. It would be no different this morning–the memories and the PTSD would center around this routine: 11’s over the hill. We started on the lake side with 10 Apolo Onos and on the other did 1 gas pump–next time was 9 and 2 and so on until finishing at 1 Ono and 10 gas pumps. Transportation was nurring (running backward) up and running down (both ways). It was the nur. The nur uphill caused YHC to think more than once about calling this one early, and more than once I checked my watch to see if time would give me an excuse, but we were going too fast. Paradiddle and Wet Tap wouldn’t let YHC ease up without it being obvious–we were in it together, all in, or not at all. I’m grateful for those dudes, per usual, and for their tenacity and companionship, cuz there was no place for a tired, self-pitying Goose to hide, so I didn’t miss out on the chance for some solid growth in mental toughness.
    Huge T-claps to the two FNG’s (and Cutthroat, too) for their staying with this one–it was designed assuming we’d have nothing but veterans out there this morning, but these guys never gave up!
    Side-note–a few minutes into this is when another stranger emerged out of the gloom, this time with a bouncing phone flashlight, and tried to just enter the fray unnoticed, but his off-color, plant-worker humor gave him away, as did the 6:40 arrival time–typical Goats in the machine arrival time is 5-10 minutes late, but this time, his Lenten lack of social media usage made him 40 minutes late (didn’t check GroupMe), so he promised to do some Doras at home. Good to have you, Goats, regardless of how long we get you!

    We ended on the far side of the hill for rule of life and the annual retreat. For rule of life, we picked on of YHC’s household rules, no phones on the toilet. This was represented by 15 mountain man poopers, increasing in speed as the reps increased representing how quickly YHC can get in and out of the bathroom now.
    The retreat is a chance for us to pack up our wives and kids and drag them to a far off location in hopes that it will do us some good. So, we grabbed our partners and piggy-backed them up the hill, then dropped them, ran down, and flapjacked. This is where the highlight of the morning happened–Ben (“Prius”) was first carried by Superfun(d), who is not a small man, but when they flapjacked, YHC assumed there would be some modifications, but once Smooth dropped me at the top and I turned around, there was Ben, moving quick up the hill, a determined smile on his face. All our legs were dead at this point, but he wanted to see if he could do it. His digging deep blew the whole PAX away, and they erupted, cheering wildly as he topped the hill with his mustached rider. It was a thing of beauty.

    We moseyed back to the flag for 7 minutes of Mary, 20 IC of the following: crunchy frogs, leg raises, J-Lo’s, pickle pounders (excellent mumblechatter from Cutthroat and Cardinal about potential publicity issues with this), and Jane Fondas to go with Yankee Joe’s Donna Summers comments. Held plank for the last minute, and then called it.
    COT with some FNG naming fun, the Animal shirt going to the indomitable Paradiddle, and then Superfun(d) prayed us out. It was an awesome addition to the retreat, and another great shot in the arm for the F3 Thibodaux crew.

    SYTIG,
    Goose

  • How To Bear Your Soul – from Yankee Joe

    YHC showed up to the stage for his first Tuesday Tuff Q. The occasion was marked with nine PAX, including Kilmer DR’ing from the exotic land of dying college basketball regimes – Raleigh, NC (though he’s actually from Carey). He definitely brought some much needed and appreciated energy.

    Warm-up
    – Side straddle hops
    – Windmills
    – OG Grassgrabbers
    – Arm circles forward
    – Arm circles backward
    – Cherry pickers
    – Self love
    – High knees
    – Butt kicks
    – Mountain climbers
    – Bumper mosey

    Honestly, YHC had no idea what to do for his first Tuesday Tuff beatdown. By 8:30 pm the night before, while in a meeting, he knew time was up. The pre-blast hype GIF’s had to go out. YHC panicked. He looked around. Nothing. Then he remembered a theme he had been playing around with as his manniversary approached.

    Ok, hold on. Let me back up. F3 is an interesting concept. It’s premise bears special attention. On one hand, you are voluntarily suffering through what seems unbearable. In almost all cases, rookie for veteran, you bearly make it to the end of a particular exercise. The camaraderie is powerful, but the expectations can be overbearing. The real power kicks in when you are convinced you can no longer bear it. To give up would be unbearable. So…you have only one Singletary choice. You bear your teeth and crawl on. There is much to be learned from our forbearers as they bear the torch of humility and forebearance. Your arrogance is left threadbear as fellow PAX come bearfoot, bearfaced, bearchested (embearassing for some), and bearhanded (except for a few hand models). We give each other manly bearhugs and vicious bearberries. In short, we grin and bear it.

    So, as it is now probably obvious, YHC’s theme centered around not eating spicy food the night before a beatdown.

    C’mon…seriously…It’s about bears (so now you know YHC can actually spell…you got it. Good job. Good for you.). Though food choices prior to beatdowns is a serious matter and should be taken up at the F3 Senior Leadership Team level, if not nationally. What Goats and Enron are capable of manifesting in this particular arena is concerning even for a bear.

    So, we did bear crawling for 35 minutes with intermittent merkin and core exercises spread throughout. It was beary beary nasty.

    ————————————-
    The First Thangggg

    Paddington Bear

    As we all know, Paddington was shipped off to England by his Aunt Lucy from “Darkest Peru” with a sign that read, “Please look after this bear. Thank you.” Goose answered that piece of trivia correctly, saving the PAX five burps.

    The Brown Family finds Paddington sitting on a suitcase in a railway station in Paddington, England. They can’t understand his Peruvian name, so they call him Paddington. We can all relate. When I first met Paradox, I had no idea what language was falling out of his mouth. For the first few weeks, I thought his name was Fart Knocks.

    To emulate this enormous literary moment in history, we set out to find Paddington.

    – One PAX lunges to the marker, then the remaining PAX bear crawl to the marker to “find Paddington.” PAX then bring Paddington home, all bear crawling back to start. Paddington, while waiting in the station (marker), is sitting on his suitcase. But since we don’t have a suitcase, Paddington held Al Gore while waiting for the PAX to come get him.

    – Next single PAX lunges to marker while remaining PAX hold plank, then repeat until each Paddington has been found and brought home. In all, each PAX bear crawled 255 yards. Yo, at the age of 60, Kilmer was dominating…it was crazy. He even had enough wind to throw out some chatter about “Damn” Yankee Joe and why it didn’t make sense that the Brown Family would be bear crawling if they weren’t bears. YHC was too winded to retort at the time.

    Also, T-Claps to French Horn, who in just a few weeks, has caught his stride and is hanging with the elites such as Goose, Enron, and Paradox.
    ————————————-
    The Second Thangggg

    Winnie the pooh

    Winnie the Pooh
    Winnie the Pooh
    Tubby little cubby all stuffed with fluff
    He’s Winnie the Pooh
    Winnie the Pooh
    Willy nilly silly old bear

    Always getting into the honey pot, Pooh Bear just can’t keep from getting his head stuck. Like Montana in Wing Stop 30 piece wing combo box (lemon pepper of all things), we had to get Pooh’s head unstuck, while also attacking some of that ‘tubby little chubby fluff’.

    – Bear crawl 360 clockwise to marker, 100 LBCs (for the 100-acre wood, of course)
    – Bear crawl 360 counterclockwise back to start, 100 pickle pounders

    Here, Kilmer raised the pickle pounder bar (I dare you, Michael), encouraging the PAX with noises that truly justified the “respect” during nam-o-rama. Smooth Operator, not to be outdone, showed us why he’s the “diamond life, lover boy.”

    —————————————–
    The Third Thangggg

    The Yogi Bear Circuit

    Of course, we can’t have a bear themed beatdown without our ever foraging for a pic-a-nic basket, Yogi. To honor this great historical and significant bear, we utilized the six pic-a-nic tables at The Stage. Each table would increase in increments of 10 with a designated exercise (i.e. 10 Derkins, 20 incline dancing chilcutts, 30 creature merkins, etc.

    But how will we get from table to table? Well, my friends, the Exicon delivers again. Who was Yogi’s best friend? You got it. The Boo Boo Bear Crawl. A bear crawl using only ONE LEG. God, I love this shizz.

    It goes a little something like this…
    – Boo boo bear crawl to first picnic table, 10 derkins
    – Boo boo bear crawl to second picnic table, 20 dancing incline chilcutts 2:1
    – Boo boo bear crawl to third picnic table, 30 creature merkins
    – Boo boo bear crawl to fourth picnic table, 40 leg ups 1:1
    – Boo boo bear crawl to fifth picnic table, 50 freak nasty’s
    – Boo boo bear crawl to sixth picnic table, 60 incline merkins

    Unfortunately, after table 3 (30 creature merkins), YHC had to call an audible based on PAX logistics as well as time. So, instead, we finished with:

    40 yard Boo Boo Bear Crawl, switching legs at each picnic table back to the flag. Once you reach the flag, 100 merkins or fail. This would take the last three minutes of the beatdown. It. Was. AWESOME. Goose was the only PAX to hit 100, but we’re pretty sure Enron did too, but he forgot to count. Imagine that…a financial advisor that forgets to count. I’m sure it gives his PAX clients great confidence considering his F3 name. But what do I know? I’m just a Marketing guy, and we don’t do maff.

    COT and Smooth Operator prayed us out. His prayer was short and powerful.

    “Dear Lord, thank you for letting us be warriors for you today. Amen.” Should be the F3 official prayer, in my opinion.

    Next stop…Manniversary

    SYITG,

    (Damn) Yankee Joe

  • Kill or Be Killed (by Pope) – from Goose

    Some things you never get too old for. On the morning of March 4, YHC showed the PAX that grown men can run around (a lot) and play like the young men they once were. YHC showed up at the Peltch with a bag-o-flags filled with a limited amount of belt flags… the more PAX showed up, the more uncertain YHC became. YHC probably did more head counts in five minutes than he ever did in one day (impressive considering the amount of potential 2.0s at YHC’s home).
    We began with the usual warmup routine (SSH, imperial walkers, windmills, high knees, butt kicks, arm circles, cherry pickers) and headed to the EDW field. There, YHC distributed the belt flags which, thankfully, were distributed among all the PAX (Sonic and FNG each used one). We then split into teams and stationed at opposite goal lines for F3 Braveheart.
    To begin the first round, all PAX bear-crawled to the 20-yard line, then stood up and began the battle. Enemy PAX attempted to pull off their opponent’s flags (PAX had two flags; two lives) until one team is utterly vanquished. When a PAX was slain, he would drop and hold plank until the end of the round. The second round began at the 30-yard line with defeated PAX holding Al Gore. Finally, with the adrenaline of battle pumping through the veins, the third round resolved—every man for himself. YHC and FNG tied for winner because of unclear regulations concerning if someone went out of bounds. (Note: none of the rounds ended with any prize for the winning team, but no one asked…so…)
    The next thang involved a choice made by each PAX individually: 7 burpees at the start and halfway point of the entire track with sprints in between, or 20 Catalina Wine Mixers and a full-track sprint. Preference differed among the PAX. The second round, however, was an easy choice for most: 25 burpees and a full-track “sprint”, or 15 merkins at each corner, with lunge-walks for the straights and jogging on the curves (this obvious choice was YHC’s way of weeding out those who were NOT good candidates for the next ANIMAL). YHC, Goats in the Machine, Smooth Operator, and two of the four 2.0s chose the lunge-walk. Goats and the 2.0s switched choices a quarter of the way through… YHC was determined to finish when, two-thirds of the way through, Goose decided to catch the “ill-choosing” 6. We began to regroup and prepared to mosey, when we noticed Smooth still hammering out his third set of merkins! We picked him up and moseyed to the lower field with a pretty clear idea of our next ANIMAL.
    At the field Goose and YHC set up a small field about 30 yards long and initiated a game of PAX-&-Minnows. Goose started as the voluntary first shark and took his position at one end line while the rest of the PAX lined up on the other end. Throughout the two games played, the sharks began each round with two burpees with the minnows completing four merkins, then the minnows tried to make it safely to the other end line without being devoured (tagged) by a shark. Wounded (tagged) minnows dropped and performed LBCs until the round was over, while successful minnows did 10 star jumps in celebration of their survival. Coyote was the last man (well, person) standing at the end of the first game, and Lil’ Cuz remained after the second game.
    Back at the flag, Mary was performed in potluck fashion, with Coyote initiating box cutters and Lil’ Cuz calling leg lifts. Smooth was eager to lead us in burpees, and YHC reluctantly trumped with crunchy frogs. In COT our FNG, 2.0 of Superfun(d), was dubbed Superfas(t), reflecting his self-proclaimed performance in Braveheart and adding to our list of tee-tiny 2.0s. And of course, Smooth Operator left that morning with the well-deserved title of ANIMAL.
    SYITG, Pope

  • A Lion, A Partnership, and a Tank Top: A Short Story – from Yankee Joe

    Seven PAX showed at the Lion’s Den, which was a nice surprise. The night before, YHC had shared a pre-blast with his M, and she responded with something like, “This is why you have difficulty making friends.” Ouch. But, she’s kinda right.

    The idea was inspired by Goose’s Burpee Time(r) beatdown the Tuesday Tuff prior. In that beatdown, PAX rotated through a variety of exercises for the duration of however long it took one PAX to complete 20 burpees. Though grueling, YHC noticed how much more eager he was to push through the pain of 20 burpees when other PAX’s suffering was hanging in the balance. So YHC attempted to take that “leave no PAX behind” commitment to partner commitments. In this episode of “we’re not medical or even fitness professionals,” Partner 2 would work through a combined 15 minutes of elbow plank work, while Partner 1 (the Timer) worked through sets of varying stupidity.

    Ok, so my way of making friends looks different. But is it effective? Well, probably not. Regardless, YHC was happy to see Fence Post who has started to become a mainstay of the Thursday Lion’s Den. In the mold of Lil’ Cuz, his quiet, methodical movements through a beatdown inspire a sense of deep respect. His sheer strength is still unnerving. YHC can’t wait to see him in action come Iron Pax. Part of the reason the Lion’s Den came into being was to be closer to Chackbay. As the Cardinal flies, it is only a few miles. That said, Cardinal does not fly, and he showed up “on time” in the same way crawling “backward is forward” for a crab. Goats in the Machine apparently wants to be a crab too, though he probably still thinks beatdowns start at 5:30 and not 5:15. But the man keeps showing up, and that’s all that matters. Enron made his appearance in an unpredictably good mood. Erich the Great aka Ragnar aka Tana showed sporting his newly acquired six pack abs courtesy of F3. Goose showed up wearing a tank top reading ANIMAL on the front. Enron somehow said nothing about it. I’ll get to that in a bit.

    Warm-up 5:15 – 5:25
    Side straddle hops
    Windmills 15 ct
    Arm circles forward 15 ct
    Arm circles backward 15 ct
    Cherry pickers 15 ct
    Self love
    High knees 15 ct
    Knoxville cherry pickers 15 ct
    Mountain climbers 10 ct
    Mosey around civic center

    The Thangggg 5:27 – 6:00
    Partner up; Start on embankment in front of civic center
    P1 exercise represents the timer for each station
    P2 exercise happens simultaneously until P1 has finished
    P1 & P2 bear crawl between each station
    At end of circuit, P1 & P2 flapjack, then work their way back through stations
    Mosey around civic center between rounds

    Circuit Round 1
    Station 1
    P1 does 25 decline groiners on embankment
    P2 does decline peter parker merkins on embankment
    When P1 finished, both bear crawl 15 yards to Station 2

    Station 2
    P1 does 25 monkey humpers
    P2 does chilcutt peter parkers
    When P1 finished, both bear crawl 10 yards to Station 3

    Station 3
    P1 does 25 burpees
    P2 does J-Flecks (J-Lo both sides, then pickle pounder)
    When P1 finished, both bear crawl 10 yards to Station 4

    Station 4
    P1 does 25 coupon thrusters
    P2 does dancing chilcutts

    When P1 finished, partners flapjack and work back through stations

    Mosey around civic center

    Circuit Round 2: Rinse and Repeat
    Mosey around civic center

    2MOM
    Leg lifts
    Freddie Mercury’s 2:1
    Pulsing Supermans? (Goose called them Lois Lanes, so now that is what F3 Thibodaux will call them.)

    After namarama, Goose explained the tank top. YHC couldn’t help saying an internal prayer of gratitude. Had Goose meant to wear it without any explanation, our friendship would have been examined more carefully. In the end, Goose, always thinking about how to serve the PAX, announced (mandated, commanded) that after each beatdown the ANIMAL tank top would be bestowed upon the PAX that most exemplified the nature of an animal.

    Or maybe it was the PAX that most sounded like an animal? Maybe it was the PAX that best blew ass like an animal? What constitutes the definition of a “beatdown ANIMAL” is still unclear. In Enron’s case, perhaps it represents the PAX that taunts the Form Police most like an animal. But again, I have no clear evidence.

    COT and Cardinal reminded YHC he needed to pick someone to pray. Thus, Cardinal prayed us out.

    Always grateful for each of you and your willingness to push through to your inner animal.

    SYITG,

    Yankee Joe

  • Huff, Puff, and Beatdown – from Goats in the Machine

    Warm-O-Rama

    Sub-contracted to goose due to the Q’s tardiness

    THANG 1: Story of the 3 little pigs

    Once upon a time, three little pigs decided to leave their mother’s house and build their own homes. The first little pig built his house out of straw
    • Pig 1 built a house of straw – 4 bodybuilders. Wind sprint to the parking lot

    the second little pig built his house out of sticks
    • Pig 2 built a house of sticks – 8 bodybuilders. Wind sprints to the last picnic table

    and the third little pig built his house out of bricks.
    • Pig 3 built a house of bricks – 12 bodybuilders. Wind sprints to the opposite sidewalk

    One day, a big, bad wolf came and knocked on the door of the first little pig’s straw house. “Little pig, little pig, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the little pig replied, “Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!”
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)

    The wolf huffed, puffed, and blew the straw house down. The little pig ran to his brother’s house made of sticks.
    • PAX to run a loop

    But the wolf followed him and knocked on the door. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the two little pigs replied, “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins!”
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)
    • 20 reps of merkins (symbolizing the wolf trying to break down the stick house)

    The wolf huffed, puffed, and blew the stick house down. The two little pigs ran to their brother’s house made of bricks.
    • PAX to run a loop

    But the wolf followed them and knocked on the door. “Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in!” said the wolf. But the three little pigs replied, “Not by the hair on our chinny chin chins!”
    The wolf huffed and puffed but couldn’t blow the brick house down. So, he climbed onto the roof and tried to come down the chimney. But the clever little pigs had a pot of boiling water waiting for him, and the wolf fell into the pot. The pigs covered the pot with a lid and boiled the wolf alive.
    • 20 LBCs (symbolizing the wolf huffing and puffing at the straw house)
    • 20 reps of merkins (symbolizing the wolf trying to break down the stick house)
    • 20 reps of air squats (symbolizing the wolf climbing the brick house and falling down the chimney)

    From that day on, the three little pigs lived happily ever after in their sturdy brick house, knowing that hard work and determination always pay off in the end.

    THANG 2: a game called “Beat the Wolf”

    The Pax Break into groups of 4. 3 PAX represents each of the pigs. (4 PAX will be pigs for teams of 5). 1 PAX is the Wolf.

    The 3 pigs plank. When the wolf arrives at a pig, the pig then calls an exercise for a 10-rep count. Whoever completes the task the fastest wins and becomes the pig in the plank position. The loser becomes the Wolf and moves on to the next Pig. Rinse and repeat. If a pax is a wolf 3 times in a row, he can do 5 penalty burpees to become a pig or remain the wolf.

    Thang 3
    • Elevens: overhead hand claps & calf raises, transport with bear crawls and walking leg kicks

    Mary
    • Pax Potluck Mary

    • COT • Announcements • Intentions • Smooth Prayed us out

    Moleskin
    YHC was running late, as usual, this morning. T-Claps to Goose for keeping the train on the tracks. YHC is grateful for the PAX transporting themselves to the 19th-century American countryside for a cheese fable-based beatdown. Hopefully, the storyline aided the pax in exerting maximum physical output with a minimal mental load. To be honest, YHC thought it would take longer than it did and wishes we would have taken a victory lap after the last round. In Thang 2 we continued the man-vs-man theme that has been popping up in previous beatdowns. T-claps to Smooth Operator for using a strategy that created an advantage with his short arms and impeccable bear crawling skills. Additionally, Yankee Joe can up with some crazy core-based stuff that exposed YHC’s lack of core strength (again). With this extra time to spare YHC called for Elevens and showed mercy by way of overhead claps and calf raises. Based on the mumble chatter, YHC will not show this type of mercy again.

    Thanks to all for going along with this goofy-themed beatdown and putting up with my tardiness.

  • Super Bowl Pair-a-Dice (by Pope) – from Goose

    It’s Super Bowl weekend, and YHC was ready to rock, both at the flag this morning and in front of the TV later.
    After warmups, YHC introduced something he devised called “Down for the Count”, where the PAX did merkins in cadence and held Mission Impossible plank after the final rep, holding while counting around the circle in a Ring of Fire fashion, followed by the same thing with squats (holding Al Gore) and leg lifts (six-inch hold).
    Next we headed to the Thunderdome for what YHC dubs “Paradise & Pair-a-Dice”. YHC hit up JBL, who told us what he would do “If I had $1,000,000” (8-count BB on “If I had $1,000,000” with SSH/Imperial walkers in between) before rocking “Gangsta’s Paradise” (penguins during verses, gas pumps during refrain).
    When playing some role-playing games, dice with varying numbers of sides are often used to determine outcomes. Today was no different; the numbers rolled by the dice provided by YHC would decide between life and death for the PAX. Each PAX rolled three dice—a 4-side, a 20-side, and a 10-side (with numbers ranging from 10 to 100). The 4-side indicated the exercise (1: burpees, 2: 8-count BBs, 3: Catalina wine-mixers, 4: SSH) the 20-side gave us the reps for rolls of 1, 2 and 3, and the 10-side set the amount of SSH in the case of a 4 being rolled.
    The PAX then moseyed to the ED White football field, where we split op into two 6-man (or kid) teams. The following game of F3 football brought out two things—the Dion Sanders in Paradox and the “bigger, stronger, fast-ish” in the rest of the Thibodaux PAX.
    Prior to each down, the offense and defense did a set number of 8-count BBs (offense does 1, defense does 5 on 1st down, 2:3 on 2nd down, 3:2 on 3rd, 5:1 on 4th). The initial plan was for a scoring team to do 10 star jumps versus the defense’s 10 burpees, but 1) YHC forgot to mention it and 2) nobody scored. With interceptions by Yankee, Goats and Enron and a sack by Coyote, it was a defense-dominated game. Hmm… prelude to the Super Bowl? Perhaps.

  • The Ultimate Sprint: Outsmarting 5th Graders and Conquering the Grave – from Goats in the Machine

    Today’s workout was a true test of both physical and mental strength. The Ultimate Sprint: Outsmarting 5th Graders and Conquering the Grave was a challenging journey through the pathways and bridges of the Civic Center Park area, aka The Lion’s Den. The air was ideal for a beatdown, and the ground was the perfectly saturated.
    Just before the workout began, First responders, including several police cruisers and an ambulance, rushed to the scene with their lights flashing. When they arrived a Police Officer, Officer grabbed a 10-pound maul and approached the door of a temp building with determination. He raised the maul high above his head and brought it down with a loud crash multiple time. Unable to help and wanting to stay out of the way, the Pax continued with their workout.

    Warm-O-Rama:

    The usual stuff

    The Thang:

    The workout kicked off with wind sprints between the sidewalks in front of the Civic Center. We completed two rounds of sprints, planks in between. This served as a groundwork for the challenging exercises ahead. Additionally, the ground was the perfect level of wet for my Choco sandal theory to be tested. YHC successfully avoided soggy sox by utilizing this footwear method. Unfortunately, planks were kind of awkward.

    Next, we made our way over to Aslan for a musical workout with “Ain’t No Grave” by Molly Skaggs. We performed Grave Diggers with burpee on the “down” and SSH on the interlude (“if you walk out of the grave…”). This was a great test of our endurance as we pushed ourselves to dig deep and keep moving. It also gave us a great view of what seemed to be the most action the TPD has seen in years.

    We then returned to the sidewalks for another round of wind sprints, this time with 4 rounds and a plank break between each. The Pax paused for a brief prayer for the emergency situation that was occurring nearby.

    Afterward, we moved to the bridge for a round of 11’s. This included overhead presses and goblet squats in round 1. Followed by kettlebell swings and BBSUs with the coupon in round 2. The coupon mosey back to Aslan was a welcome break before the final challenge.

    The last challenge was a true test of our intelligence with a game of “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?” with two teams. Correct answers meant a quick plank and incorrect answers meant 5 BBSUs. With questions ranging from history to science and everything in between, this was a fun and challenging way to end the workout.

    In conclusion, today’s workout was a true test of our physical and mental toughness, and I’m proud of everyone who stepped up to the challenge. The Pax of F3 Thibodeaux are grateful for the first responders who showed up this morning to help someone in need. They were a true testament to the bravery and dedication of those who serve and protect their communities. Until next time, stay strong and keep pushing yourselves!

    COT:

    • Count-O-Rama • Name-O-Rama • Announcements • Prayer Requests

    PS:

    IF you lift1 coupon with 2 hands and 2 toddlers with one hand, then you might be a Thibodaux PAX.
    If you typically spend your 10 count saying “ I used to be able to do that when I was younger” then you might be Yankee Joe.

  • Stage Record – from Enron

    With anticipation building of what could be a new Stage record for attendance, YHC nervously arrived in the impossible-to-see foggy gloom to a surprise of multiple pairs of headlights awaiting. Tuesdays have not normally been highly attended, but all the stars had finally aligned to have a “hard commit” (no one ever fartsacks a hard commit) of 11 PAX on the GroupMe. Seeing 4 standing and waiting at 5:20, things were looking up for the record, especially with the surprise arrival of Paradox, aka POOX, and Wilford Montana. The types of compromises and promises that were made to their M’s are unknown, but their presence was welcomed. Vehicles continued to appear along with the arrival of Goose with 300 pounds of coupons in the back of his truck. YHC quickly unloaded one of his 2.0’s dry erase board, as well as additional coupons in set up for what was to come. As 5:30 arrived, a new record had been set. 12 PAX at the stage; this moment will go down in F3 Thibodaux history (which is honestly why this backblast is being forced).
    Warmup:
    SSH, AC, Cherry Pickers, grass grabbers (with the clap) Windmills, Self-Love, IW, Mountain Climbers and a large group bumper mosey.
    YHC can honestly say that nerves set it during the warmup as leading a large group comes with more Q-dreniline than expected. Counts may have been quicker than usual; mumble chatter was heard in the background regarding the cadence. Nothing out of the norm for Yankee Joe and Paradox and their shenanigans.
    Thang 1 and only 1: Modified Jerf
    A short synopsis/speech was given to instruct all the newer guys on the history of the “Jerf”. A combination of a Murph and a Bruce Lee with a twist from Yankee Joe. Quickly named the Jerf back in September/October by a group of PAX attempting to complete one per off-beatdown day. YHC had some new modifications and additions for today’s TuesdayTuff©. All were presented on the previously mentioned dry-erase easel. The following were completed in order, AMRAP, throughout the next 35 minutes. Although, one exercise was voted out and erased after each completed round. After 5 exercises were eliminated (5 rounds), YHC started to add one back on each round. Exercises are as follows:
    20 Coupon Curls
    20 Coupon Presses
    10 Yard Bear Crawl (this could not be eliminated along with the Crab walk as this was a mode of transportation)
    10 Merkins (eliminated 3rd)
    30 LBCS
    10 Yard Crab Walk (back to coupons)
    10 Merkins
    50 Freddy Mercury’s (1=1)
    20 Skull Crushers (eliminated 1st and also added back later as 10)
    20 Leg Raises (eliminated 2nd and added back later as 10)
    30 Squats (eliminated 4th)

    COT and Goose prayed us out. It was truly an honor to be able to lead this larger group of men today. Hopefully this is a sign of continued growth in our region.
    SYITG,
    Enron

  • NEW AO NAMED IN THIBODAUX! / A Transportation Exhibition – from Goats in the Machine

    YHC arrived at the at 5:25 to eight (8) PAX, including and FNG, parked and waiting near the flag poles in front of the Civic Center as instructed. An Additional Pax, Goose, was spotted parking in the wrong location as well displaying a level of tardiness that is typically only seen by YHC. It was latter discovered that he was delayed due to an uncontrollable urge to craft a fudge pop. YHC began the Beatdown with 10 PAX (including myself) at 5:32.

    It was 64 degrees, dry air, and highly saturated grounds. The concrete was still moist and had puddles colleting in low spots from the previous night’s rain.

    Warm-O-Rama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Wind Mills, Arm stretching, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Mosey to Basketball Court
    YHC’s cadence was miserable as usual

    THANG 1 – “The Long BLACK Train”
    This THANG was designed with the intention of showcasing various means of F3 Transport. The PAX lined up at mid-court. The Pax used the following methods to transport themselves between mid-court and the bassline in succession: Bear crawls, Lunges, Alligator Merkin Crawl, Crab Walk, and Kicking walks (AKA Waling Ray Finkel). I’m a sucker for a good acronym. During each round and in between “transports” the Pax performed reps of an exercise called by YHC.

    Round 1= BBSU (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 2=Squats (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 3 =Shoulder Taps (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)
    Round 4 = Burpees (5 reps per transport, 25 total for the round)
    Round 5 = Monkey Humpers (10 reps per transport, 50 total for the round)

    Pax then did an Indian-Run back to Aslan, a concrete Lion statue, and then to the bottom of the berm at the water reservoir.

    THANG 2 – Price is Right – Kelly Bluebook Used Car Edition
    The PAX separated into two (2) teams. YHC listed a year make and model for a vehicle. The following was assumed: 20k miles, good condition, base model, standard equipment, white exterior color. The team closest to the KBB value with out going over wins the round. The loosing team sprinted up the berm performed 5 burpees and sprinted back. the winning team sprinted up the berm and back. Followed by 3 burpees at the bottom.

    For your reference:
     2015 Honda Acord LX = $13,744
     2016 Mercedes-Benz C Class 300 = $16,633
     2019 Honda Odyssey LX = $22, 751
     2019 Toyota RAV4 LE= $23,026
     2022 Ford XLT Crew Cab = $43,277

    COT

    Count Off & Name-O-Rama : 10 PAX

    Announcements :
    -Coyote Birthday Q @ the Perch on Saturday.
    -Welcome “AOL,” an IT professional
    -The Name of the Civic Center AO was declared “The Lions Den.” This named is derived from the before mentioned concrete statue , Aslan, that happened to be located near our shovel flag. “Narnia” was thrown out as an option, but Mother Goose informed us that is was too juvenile and feminine. @Goose Please look into getting the new AO added to the Backblast Database.

    Intentions: Thanksgiving for Enron’s new 2.5, Family of a deceased neighbor, Extended Family Strife

    Cardinal Prayed us out.

    It was a blast exploring the new AO with these men. YHC can’t wait participate in the creative beatdowns to come!

    Sincerely,
    GITM