F3 New Orleans

Tag: French Horn

  • Run to the Father – from Paradox

    9 strong at the stage and ya know dat bayou summer is in full swing when it’s a balmy 81 before you even slip on your mudgears. YHC rolled back in (after forgetting JBL on the charger) to a steadily growing group of Pax bolstered by a fresh wave of our seminarian Pax getting back in dat action.
    The promises had been free flowing in the preBlast groupme with commitments of all shapes and sizes. Hopeful commits, repeat HC fartsack offenders, cardinal fanning flames, Even a brand new “FC”. That’s a frog commit, when pickleball says Jump , you say how high?
    Ya really really hate to see it but we pushed forward.

    Duke! run back home and get the footage. Your still a good boy!

    Warmup
    A respectable set of the usuals with extra care for the lower back.
    The newest fad injury in F3 Thib is a tight back (although YJ will say he’s been doing it before it was mainstream) and after getting nuked by the diddle list on Saturday we all needed some careful grass grabbers.

    The Thang

    YHC decided that directly after Fathers day was a good time to cover the parable of the prodigal son. So many perspectives to reflect on from this amazing parable but today YHC wanted to focus on the contrasting emotions and inner turmoil of the father/son. YHC Just needed a good canvas for this medium and during a recent downRange vacation post YHC was introduced to the total brutality of a Jack Webb medley (shout out to HouseCall). It felt like a great way to express the conflicting inner emotions of the parable all while pondering if Thibodaux has any oxygen in the atmosphere.

    First we had to take the inheritance and run away. We formed up in a Indian run with a last man Drop off – 10 Carolina dry docks facing away , see your family getting farther away.
    We jammed to Ghetto Cowboy while we counted our inheritance cash followed by a choice Goose selection of Ford Econoline and all was right in the world…

    Feeling pretty good about ourselves with endless money we stopped for Jack Webb #1
    Merkins and Air Raises up to 10/20
    The son beats his chest while the father prays “why?”

    We moseyed on starting to feel the strain of responsibility but still depending on ourselves we ditched our van and set out on foot looking for love in all the wrong places.
    100ish yard Lunge to DJ Snake/Bieber “Just let me Love You “
    Are you a Beliber now Cardinal ?

    We continued forward in a Jello Mosey
    There is now a famine in the land, times are tough. But the son still depends on himself.
    We headed for the pig pen to get in the slop. (Perfectly placed port o potty)

    Jack Webb #2
    Captain Thor
    BBSU/American Hammers (3 count)
    The son is pulling himself up (BBSU) while the father continues wrestling with his absence (hammers)

    Time to Run Home
    No money
    No love
    No friends
    Deep in the slop just hoping for a bite of the pig food.
    The crucial moment of uncertainty. I will return to be my fathers servant , but will he accept me ?

    Air Squats/Mountain climbers
    1 squat and 2 MC to depict the son running to the Father who was not only waiting but fervently seeking him daily.

    Run Back home w guidance
    Pair up and one pax run while guiding is partner in Nur.

    Back Home
    Song
    – Run to the Father -Matt Maher
    We held Tipper Gores on the song (atleast initially) with jump tuck on Run and Merkins on Again.
    Legs got reallll wobbly.

    Animal shirt awarded to Goldilocks! Back to back posts and this man is in pretty good shape if you are taking notes at home. Stay golden brother.

    COT and Diddle prayed us out

    Great effort across the board and awesome to have Goldilocks and Econoline in the mix. Grateful to be alongside you men today and always a privilege to lead.

    YHC is often reminded of the repetitive nature of the “returning to the Father “ portion of this parable. So easy to get bogged down the moment we return to the ole pig pen especially when you have been there sooo much the pigs know you by name. But there is such deep consolation of knowing that even as we tire in repetitive sin our Fathers endless mercy is always waiting.

    SYITG
    Paradox

  • Life is Hard Sometimes – from Goose

    YHC rolled up in a quiet, lonely truck, happy at least to see a few 2.0’s milling around since Pope and Coyote are still tromping around the mountains of NC for a few more weeks. It was YHC’s birthday Q, and the PAX graciously welcomed me, though with some obvious fear behind their well-wishing eyes. The quiet warmup added to the evidence that these fellas were wary of what was to come–we even had Dox and YJ in the mix, and the chatter was minimal. (Maybe it was the 41 IC SSH, but you had to see that coming.)

    Half the PAX grabbed coupons, and Wet Tap’s patience was tested as he was told to grab one; wait no, don’t; wait we need one more; wait that one’s extra; wait…ok, just run…for now.

    Once we arrived at the lower field, JBL was fired up, and YouTube was required for the first song, Garth Brooks’s “Calling Baton Rouge” since all of his songs are in some kind of digital fortress vault. YHC was born and raised in Baton Rouge. That’s it. That’s why we did it. Plank for the duration and merkins on every “Baton Rouge”. It’s not a long song, so it was pretty much just a warmup for the real Thang since YHC’s pecs haven’t seen much action in the past few months.

    We partnered up for a Dora 1, 2, 3 that reflected YHC’s elementary, high school, and college career. And, this is when we realized we didn’t have enough coupons, so YHC, YJ and Tap argued about who would run back and get one. Tap insisted to the point of being willing to sprint ahead of YHC, but once he was almost there, YJ pointed out that we actually had enough already. So, he was called back. But, then, YHC realized that we actually didn’t have enough because we had a throuple, so I turned to send him back, but thankfully, in his wisdom, Tap had already grabbed it–he was clearly done relying on the collective intelligence of YJ and YHC.

    Goose-life Dora: Partners split duty on 100 kettle bell swings (high school discus champ), 200 Bobby Hurleys (high school basketball non-champ), and 300 coupon rows (LSU rowing team). While Partner 1 cranked on those, Partner 2 gator-merkin crawled (elementary school mascot) 10 yards, did 10 Peter Parkers (original LSU Spiderman–Google it), and ran back. YHC knew this would be tough, that those gator merkins would be ridiculous, and they were. About halfway through, YHC was tempted to switch it to bear crawls or something, but why? Yes, there is a balance the Q must walk between pushing past the PAX’s felt limitations and asking them to do what’s not actually possible or at least practical. YHC felt that tension this morning, but each length, though really hard, was short and ultimately doable. It took everything we had, but the PAX kept going, so no need to modify. We would make memories instead…or maybe cause memory loss.

    After a few 10-counts, we moseyed to the grass next to the Thunderdome for another song reflective of YHC’s time in seminary and working for the Church. These experiences taught YHC that the faith journey doesn’t happen in the world of ideas but in the very real battle and painful mess that is our human experience. And, God is not a senile grandfather living in some far-off heaven whom we have to placate so he might throw us a bone every now and then. He is deeply involved in the mess, and the challenges of life only make sense if we follow His lead, trust in His wisdom, and let him carry us through the battles (interior and exterior). He hasn’t let YHC down, not once, through all the peaks and valleys of his journey.
    The song was “Lord of Hosts” by Shane and Shane, an intense tribute to these truths–Al Gore for the duration (5 minutes) and genuflections on every “God” and “Lord”. Quads were definitely making themselves known at this point.

    Next, YHC shared some details about being led to leave seminary and meet his would be wife, whom he ended up marrying on 9-8-07. In honor of this interesting date, we did The Motivator, counting down from 9. It was interesting to see that the PAX was, at this point, starting to just surrender to what came next–no chatter, just dead eyes and moving into position. Not a bad development.
    YJ mentioned right before this that this was the one-year anniversary of his puke-filled come-back, and YHC wondered if he might be able to force a repeat. He got my hopes up when he peeled off around round 7 and jogged with some urgency to the bathroom, but according to him, it was just for coffee induced urination. Shame.

    Lastly, to honor YHC’s nine kids, each partner did two sets of 35 curls, totaling 70 (the added ages of all 9 kids) honoring the constant picking up of babies. While Partner 1 did curls, Partner 2 did step-ups on the bleachers. 9 kids may seem like a lot, and yes, sometimes it’s beautiful, and sometimes it’s hard; sometimes the time seems to fly, and at other times it seems to creep. But, regardless of how it feels, if we just keep taking one step at a time, just keep showing up and choosing to love these kiddos despite the constantly changing feelings and circumstances, it is an overwhelming, incredible gift that YHC certainly does not deserve.

    We moseyed back to the flag, coupons in tow, and Smooth prayed us out with his simple, yet sincere style.
    Many T-claps and thanks to YJ for bringing a solid birthday coffeeteria, complete with donuts. And, French Horn kept our spirits high with fun facts about his favorite cults.

    YHC is overwhelmed with gratitude for having been blessed with 41 years of a life filled with awesome gifts, and though it’s not been free of challenges, YHC has learned that it’s usually through major challenges that the greatest gifts are made possible. F3 has proven this truth over and over in a very concrete way, and I am extremely grateful that you men have been willing to join me on this journey, especially through this morning’s snot woggle (official F3 term: https://f3nation.com/lexicon/entry/2728/gvid=398600&pagenum=23).

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • We are the Messengers – from Lil Cuz

    YHC realized very late on a Friday afternoon that most of the big hitters and even some bench warmers (I’ll let you guys sort out who is who) were out of pocket or out of town for the weekend. This led to YHC, “the Replacement” , to be called up to the big show. With that said all previous plans needed to be chucked out and the drawing board needed some dusting at a very late hour.

    Now, we are all aware that June has started and we are all very aware of what is celebrated in June. Correct! It is the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. We celebrate this the whole month and I for one am thankful for it! This was started a very long time ago but was re-ignited by Pope St. John Paul II as part of the “New Evangelization”.

    Usual warmup with French Horn showing much earlier than ever before, he made it to 78% of the warm up which honestly is so impressive! We made sure to hit the leg stretch hard because of the death caused by Goose on Thursday. I heard it was a real tear jerker!

    Because Dox is on a very well timed vacation we are gonna throw up the deuces and ask the Lord, “Roll that footage!”

    In Honor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus we are reminded of the mission given to us by our Creator; Jesus sent out his Apostles 2×2 and they had to work together to figure out the best way to accomplish the goal given to them. We are called to a very similar vocation and a slow mosey around the blacktop of the Peltch was in order to reach the far off land called, The Chimney, to spread the Word of God.

    Thang 1:
    Split into teams of 2 and the usual Dora had commenced.
    100 Merkins, 200 Squats, 300 LBC’s with Mosey to sidewalk behind Chimney.

    The feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus dates back to 1673, when a French nun who belonged to the Order of the Visitation of Holy Mary, in eastern France began to receive visions about the Sacred Heart. Jesus appeared to Sister Margaret Mary Alocoque and revealed ways to venerate His Sacred Heart and explained his immense love He has for humanity, appearing with his heart visible outside his chest, on fire and surrounded by a crown of thorns. We honored the year of the divine revelation of His Sacred Heart with:

    Thang 2:
    16 – Carolina Dry Docks
    Bear Crawl – 10 yds
    73 – Freddie Mercs (2:1)
    Bear Crawl Back – 10yds

    This was done in 3 sets and a larger amount of groaning as each set was started. With our Hearts (read: Abs) on Fire we had to continue our travels and spread our message of Salvation.

    Thang 3:
    Indian Run through Park with last guy dropping off for 5 Bonnie Blairs (2:1).

    As late laid out plans usually go we had 20 minutes left to spare and all Pax decided to run another mile around the Peltch (I guess they really wanted to Evangelize some more).

    10 MOM Potluck Style and an end of BBSU to the final buzzer.

    Sometimes on this road of following the Lord we may lose one of our brothers along the way as he stumbles but by keeping on the path ourselves we can bring them back and hope to make leaders out of each other. This is what we are called to do. We are messengers and as we learn we become leaders in our communities. I know I have said it before but I am so thankful for this group of men and so very happy to call you all brothers. You help me when I fall and I hope to someday be the same for you. Someone to count on and help when called.

    SYITG,
    Lil’ Cuz

  • Death is Temporary – from Goose

    YHC thought it appropriate to capitalize on the cardio boost most of the PAX have experienced as a result of participating in the May Challenge as well as the increase in tenacity and mental toughness. And, stepping down the intensity could be a slippery slope. Only one way to go! DEATH!!
    It is YHC’s understanding that in the earliest days of Christianity, when they would baptize someone, they would bring them to a river, put them all the way under water, and then hold them there until they started to panic and fight before bringing them up. This was to give the baptizee a real, felt experience of the reality of death in the process of receiving the gift of new life. Any taste of the reality of your own mortality changes you, grounds you, and shines new, clearer light on all the other aspects of your life.
    So, what better day than a day in which we’re proud of what we’ve accomplished, what we’ve built over the month of May, to feel our own mortality.

    We started with a warmup of the usuals along with some Willie Mays Hayes before Indian running (regular type) up the levee, around half the lake, and onto the tennis courts. In a nod to Dox, YHC brought along Oontz and a sea shanty about the death of an honored general (“General Taylor” by Great Big Sea). This was where YHC realized that Oontz hadn’t somehow gained strength by resting him for a few months. This didn’t bode well for what was to come.

    On the tennis courts, the PAX waited patiently while YHC and Pope set up yet another Bleep Test, once again measuring wrongly, too short this time (that first lap felt way too easy), though after the beatdown looking back, I’m sure many were grateful for the rest.
    Once we finally got it right, Oontz was fired up–he already seemed nervous during the Indian Run, and without JBL or BAPS available, I could tell he also felt like the benchwarmer who had been called up after everyone else caught the stomach bug or something. His bleeps were barely audible despite multiple threats and ridicule, but the game went on, and the PAX performed exceedingly well.
    The first few times we did this, most PAX didn’t make it out of the 30’s (number of lengths run, not official Bleep Test scoring, which is weird). Last time, at The Stage, most didn’t start falling away until the 40’s and some into the 50’s. Today, though, there was not one PAX who dropped off until around 60. No joke. Once out, the rules were you had to plank up or complete 25 merkins (or Big Boys) to buy your way back in, which they did. We ultimately finished at 70, blowing our numbers from two weeks ago (or so) out of the water. I think it was because of the hype speech YHC was giving while measuring (and remeasuring): men who fought in battles, who sprinted across fields toward enemies who were sprinting at them, who rode into hand to hand combat with no fear of death or knowledge of the outcome, who still bust down doors with no certainty of what’s behind them, at some point stopped trying to calculate their odds of survival. They didn’t self-evaluate to see how tired they were or wonder how much longer they could endure; they just moved. And, today, we grew in our ability to let go of wondering how much more we can do, in our ability to push off the temptation to say, “Ok, but only 3 or 2 or 1 more of these.” We still, of course, have a long way to go, which is why the 2nd thang was what it was.

    After multiple 10-counts, we moseyed back to the Lion, picked up our blocks, and moved to the sidewalk. We lined up and YHC explained that we would be doing 11’s: bicep curls on this end and tricep curls at the next (20-25 yards). Transportation would be lunge walks (with coupon) there and rifle carry back. YHC heard a couple of groans, saw some mouths drop open, and in a couple of faces, just blank surrender–the decision to just enter into the pain without trying to measure it, cuz, hey, who of us actually deserves ease and comfort?
    The first few laps were hard, which YHC expected–muscles gotta wake up and get with the program. After 5 or 6, YHC could feel the temptation to modify it to 7’s instead of 11’s, but then I remembered the many times I just kept pushing, grinding one more lap, then another, without wondering how many more I could take, not giving myself the choice to stop, and it’s amazing how much further you can go when you stop giving yourself a way out. We had the time, so we just kept going. And the rest of the PAX did, too. It was a beautiful thing to see.

    We finished right at 6:00, but the pride and gratitude of what we had just accomplished together (and over the past month) didn’t hit until after about 4 or 5 minutes (after the heart rate dropped back down to normal). There was no Animal shirt (or GiGi), but the each man’s performances could’ve easily earned it. (YHC was waiting for French to crush another coupon, and was a little disappointed that he didn’t. Three in a row would’ve been epic.)

    COT and French Horn prayed us out–safe travels for the many out this weekend and gratitude for what we’ve been given. YHC is certainly grateful for the men who posted this morning and shared a healthy little taste of death. Nothing binds you together as brothers better than that!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Fubar – from Goose

    FUBAR.
    It’s a term you may have heard if you, like me, have spent part of your Memorial Day weekend watching Spielberg’s great film where Captain Miller leads his men behind enemy lines to rescue Private James Ryan. The entire mission is classified as Fubar from the very beginning from the men, but they learn that only with the strength of one another and trusting the lead of their Captain will they successfully complete their mission. Today Being Memorial Day, it was only right that we should suffer a little bit more than usual to pay our respects for the men and women that have served our country so bravely by giving their life. This was the very reason Private Ryan needed to be rescued – because his brothers had given their very lives for the sake of their country.

    _____

    YHC barely arrived on time to find 9 PAX already at the Stage with coupons arranged in the most organized fashion. Warmups consisted of SSH, windmills, and high knees. Before YHC could complete warmups, Cardinal arrived carrying some speed in his Vandebilt blue speed wagon. Warmpus finished with butt kicks, and mountain climbers.

    Thang 1
    – Partner Bropee Mile Indian Run w/ Bonnie Blair’s –
    YHC’s list of strengths might be running and cardio, but giving clear directions definitely did not make the list. The PAX partnered up and completed 5 Bonnie Blair’s before racing to the front of the partner Indian line, stopping every 1/4 mile and completing some Bropees (a burpee completed alongside your parter ending in a high ten at the top of the squat jump). YHC had the Pax breathing hard, and by the time the group reached the half mile mark, the sounds of some old animal filled the quiet of the early morning. The only thing to distract from the animalistic breathing sounds were the welcome butt slaps from those running to the front of the line. In total, 28 bropees were completed.

    Thang 2
    – Ascending Testicles & Coupon Lunges –
    YHC’s thorough reading of the Exicon introduced the PAX to a few new exercises – one of them being Ascending Testicles (a cousin of balls to the wall – declined merkins that progressively have a more extreme angle). The Pax would complete 10 merkins on ground level, 10 declined merkins on the bench part of a picnic table, and 10 declined merkins from the table part of a picnic table, followed by lunging with a coupon to a different picnic bench across the pitch. This would complete one set. Ultimate VQ hype man/DJ extraordinaire POO-X came to the rescue by providing tunes to motivate everyone to push through the rush of blood to their brains. In total three sets were completed, leaving time for the final thang.

    Thang 3
    – Butkus + Lion King + a lil’ jog –
    Heart rates were resting in a steady zone 3, so a ten count was in order (YHC has no recollection of who let two 10 counts, because at this point, his mind was complete fubar). Another jumble of instructions from YHC proved to confuse the Pax. Perhaps it was the terrible instructions, or perhaps it was the mumble chatter coming from the marketing trio of Tana, Horn, and Joe, but YHC had to pipe up, let those furballs descend, and use an “outside” voice to finish explaining butkus (rapid step ups on a curb for at least a minute) and Lion King (low squat into a thruster with a coupon). Much to YHC’s surprise, the pax crushed three sets of 1min Butkus, 1min Lion King, and a lap around the pitch. Smooth was locked in pretending that coupon was one of his rugrats, and Horn couldn’t control his strength and began his streak of crushing coupons with his bare hands.

    The morning ended with two minutes of Mary – Freddie Mercury’s, leg raises, and probably something else – but YHC’s mind was indeed fubar by this point and thus no new memories were able to be made.

    6:00am arrived sooner than YHC anticipated, and it proved to be bittersweet. The nerves from the VQ were gone, and only laughs and sweat were to behold. Hopes of 13.0 strain filled the air, and YHC found himself basking in those good good endorphins that only F3 Thibodaux can produce.

    __________

    So, the Memorial Day beatdown mission turned out not to be fubar, but instead a witness and sacrifice in thanksgiving for the lives of those gone before us by giving their life. I remain humbled, grateful, and surprised but the continual growth of the men that continue to show up, put out, and suffer much to make themselves and those around them better.

    – Paradiddle

  • DAT DAWG – from Paradox

    7 dawgs at the stage today on a relatively cool May morning.

    We had a smooth purebred Pit always ready to roll. A local German shepherd with a huge litter of puppies brought in the coups. A young French bulldog living the summer lyfe and looking for a fight. An aged and scholarly golden retriever who can still retrieve after he gets his paws stretched. A north La bred bull mastiff who showed up purely for raw steak and Merkins. Rounded out by a greyhound who ran all the way from his kennel in Bourg. A variety of breeds from far and wide but today they were all looking to be Dat Dawg ….

    Duke! stop trying to recreate sweat stains and get the footage!!

    YHC recently saw F3 Nola’s Hawgcycle (still a mystery how to pronounce this) post that his daughter would be following in his shoeless footsteps and raising money for the Special Olympics by running 1 mile a day for 2023. If you had asked a 12 year old YHC to run a single mile I would have had a hard time penciling you in my booked schedule of Cheetos and GoldenEye so I was floored by this effort and knew we had to rally our bayou pax to support.

    Thus DAT DAWG was born …

    Warmup

    The usuals with some extra reps after an intense Diddle VQ yesterday.

    Like any veteran Dawg, ole Jeaux could smell the intensity in the air. A prolonged warmup , a call for BAPS, surrounded by Dox cones. I could see him working through his Rolodex of fartsack excuses but it was too late .

    We grabbed coupons and headed to the Junkyard.

    YHC explained todays cause and that we would pledge $ for each lap completed.

    YHC then took the pax through a tour of the rough 1/2 mile long obstacle course:

    10 coupon curls , run to next cone
    10 big boys Nur to next cone
    10 merkins bearcrawl the pylon thingys and then roughly 60 yard stretch then more pylons. If a car passes you gotta bark (Merkin) . 10 more merkins on the other side. Run to stage.
    10 box jumps and karaoke to bumper
    1 suicide then sprint to junkyard
    10 burpees then mark your territory (chalk )

    Format: Most Laps complete OR the pax in the lead at the end of 30 minutes would be declared ..

    DAT DAWG.

    Notes:

    -Merkins , bearcrawl , merkins continues to be a recipe for success and YJ had such an accurate bark impression I had to double check it wasn’t an actual wild dog.
    -Horn broke another Coupon and is 1 away from joining TreeRoot in the bayou. RIP
    -Several pax pushing the limit of cardio exertion , it was beautiful.
    -BAPs brought the absolute thunder.
    -Ole hC Tana got caught in a late Pickle fartsack and one hateth to lay eyes on such a thing.

    When the dust settled at 5:59 to no one’s surprise Goose was charging up 4.5 laps with Ronnie close on his heels.
    Both displaying beastly inner DAWG.

    YHC called it and presented Goose with the first DAT DAWG chain. (Must see pics)

    It will serve as our “break in case of charitable event “ trophy. If the chips are down or a worthy cause is in need then you can call on DAT DAWG for fast support.

    In all we completed 26 laps of DAT DAWG as a PAX and raised a nice chunk for an excellent cause.

    COT and dat ole dawg Yankee Jeaux prayed us out.

    An honor to lead this pack of Dawgs today .

    SYITG

    Dox

  • F4 by Pope – from Goose

    If YHC learned anything today, it is that improv is an essential skill in many different scenarios in life; F3 is certainly no exception.
    First, there were the signs… very oddly placed STADIUM CLOSED signs contradicting the wide-open gates from which they hung. And the padlock on the gates behind the goalpost, also open.
    YHC began to worry, since a major part of the thang consisted of material requiring hash marks, then relaxed a bit when Cardinal showed up.
    Then Cardinal dropped the bomb on YHC that the stadium was actually closed this time.
    Not only that, but the field beside Bayou Road was dominated by peewee baseball fence.
    YHC also learned (and please store this in your memory—could come in handy if you get into a similar pickle) that the Chimney is a very versatile backup location.
    YHC began the beatdown revolving around the sport that Yankee Joe had yet to theme—not futbol, not America’s mere pastime of baseball, but America’s sport—with the usual warmups (SSH, windmills, SL, etc.) and debuted A-skips to the warmup arsenal.
    After completing windmills, the gloom was pierced by Paradox’s cry of “Keep it midnight!” and on that somewhat foreboding cue, Dox, Lil Cuz, Piccadilly and Enron pulled off their shirts and blinded the bewildered PAX with neon shirts with the sleeves apparently cut and/or torn off, decorated by the stenciled abbreviation TLM along with the wearer’s name on the back. Dox outdid himself when he and his neon minions donned similarly colored headbands stenciled with #KIP. YHC overcame the shock with great struggle and continued warmups…
    The PAX moseyed to the Chimney and very easily separated into teams: the Midnight Owls (and Enron’s 2.0 FNG Harrison) against all—YHC, Goose, Cardinal, French Horn and Coyote. YHC determined the boundaries and initiated a game of football—football according to Tom Cruise and the Top Gun: Maverick crew. This version of the game (first of all, was originally planned for the Bayou Rd. field) consisted of two footballs, two quarterbacks on the field at one time, and all PAX playing offense and defense at the same time.
    The balls were placed after each play on the spot where the ballcarrier who had gained more yards was stopped, and according to which side of the field in which the line of scrimmage was, the team defending it did 5 8-ct body-builders while the opposing team performed 5 big boys (YHC thinks he should have stressed the need to keep track of May Challenge exercises a good bit more; if you haven’t already calculated that, have fun). If a team scored, they were assigned 10 star-jumps, with the defeated, shamed defense doing 10 burpees. In the case of both teams scoring, all PAX did 25 merkins.
    Ultimately, the neon-green dark of midnight was overcome by Team Morning Light by a score of 6-4. Highlight of the game: YHC dropped back to pass and noticed Piccadilly sprinting up the field with their ball. YHC rolled to the right and tagged Dilly with his left hand and the ball, then turned on the jets and ran beyond the line of scrimmage. YHC planted his foot and cut right to avoid Paradox, then lateralled to Goose—a pass that fell far behind Goose, who couldn’t even touch it as it fell to the ground and was recovered by Enron. YHC then decided to be a jerk and call the game. Hey, it was five minutes past the previously determined end time anyway!
    Knowing that most of the PAX hadn’t thrown a ball yet today and had untested throwing arms, YHC circled up the PAX and began a game of throw-&-catch, during which one would catch the oncoming ball, pass it to another PAX, then drop for a couple of burpees—three if he dropped the pass and picked it up to throw it.
    Next Goose and Coyote fell back from the PAX and waited for the first two contestants of the longest-throw elimination-style contest. Two PAX attempted to throw the football farther than the other, the winner choosing a May Challenge exercise and the number of reps to do while the loser did 15 merkins and 15 big boys (yet another accidental complication in the tracking of reps). YHC was victorious in the cannon-arm contest. Next the PAX competed for the longest punt, the contest consisting of the same mechanics. However, having witnessed Goose’s thunderous punts while returning thrown balls to the PAX, the competition was really for second place, a title won by Piccadilly.
    Returning to the flag with the rest of the PAX, YHC observed the unfortunate fact that most of the time spent at the Chimney was spent standing around, either in the huddle or waiting for one’s turn to throw/punt. With that in mind, YHC was determined to add the initially aimed-for grind of the beatdown via Mary. After leading the PAX in the previously debuted Down for the Count, Mary consisted of penguins, WWI sit-ups (which were apparently new to the long-absent Cardinal), Dr. Ws and Freddy Mercuries.
    YHC had the original draft of the beatdown written out in early May and figured that all would go according to the anticipated plan. However, much was overturned, and YHC is just glad that rules are made to be broken and that YHC didn’t focus very hard on the beatdown’s every detail, as he usually does.
    SYITG,
    Pope

  • Earn that Wood – from Wiford Montana

    9 at the Den and the Q was Co
    Next man up to fill in for Jeaux

    Late Tana and you hate to see it
    Running warmup and you couldn’t flee it

    9 in a row for diddle , I hear a rustle
    Cardinal back from another vacation but we respect the hustle

    We would pay the troll then dance to a song
    The hills were steep and the tunes were long

    Burpees , unwelcomed but they did feel good
    Tana made it weird to earn that wood

    Roxeanne and the police till our legs were bare
    Marvin Gaye moved mountains but the price was fair

    Squats to Bonnie just for your butt
    Then we asked Lil Jon turned down for what ?

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out
    3x animal for Diddle, the man is stout !

    My boys in Thib , we got dat dawg
    Tana and Dox , we’ll see you again in the fog

  • The Goose Option – from Goose

    The Goose Option refers to both the Q-uarterback’s decision to pitch to the running back at the last moment (YJ to Goose), and the modifications YHC has employed during the past couple of months to avoid further injury to the right wing. This morning, we would all endure the Goose Option.
    YHC arrived with Pope to see Smooth already running laps–a good sign for Team Smoothie Kings. Worried that “HC” has further come to mean “fartsack” for many, YHC was carefully watching the clock as we inched dangerously close to 5:15. But, French Horn pulled in (a few minutes early, mind you), followed by a trickle of solid dudes who eventually added up to a Magnificent Seven despite the large number of solid fartsackers (including at least one “HC”). Seriously, it was awesome to see that we can have so many men there on a Monday morning even with so many missing.

    Encouraged by this crew, including two who traveled from Houma and beyond (Paradiddle’s 5th in a row!!), we rolled through the warmup of the usuals, and YHC introduced Goose Option, Part 1.
    During the May challenge, YHC can only score points through situps, tricep curls (which are harder than bicep curls, so it’s not cheating!), and running. So, for the sake of camaraderie, we all did 4 rounds of the following: 3 sets of 15 tricep curls and 15 WWII situps followed by a quarter-mile run (to bumper, then Stop sign, and back). This ultimately added up to 180 curls, 180 situps, and 1 mile run.
    French Horn continued to pour forth unprecedented music and movie knowledge from the 90’s as he kept up with YHC (and ultimately earning the Animal shirt as a result), which made this stage fly by. T-claps to the whole crew for cranking out the tricep curls and big boys–I felt known and loved.

    Part 2 would be a song since more than half of song routines consist of the plank/merkin combo or something like a SSH/burpee combo and YHC has to do some sort of leg destruction to match the intensity. So, we would all destroy our legs using “The General” by Dispatch. We held Al Gore for the duration of the 4 minute song, and during the refrain, we did the following:
    -squat jump on “take a shower”
    -Bonnie Blair on “shine your shoes”
    -Apolo Ono on “young men”
    -genuflection on “forgiven”
    According to Paradiddle, this looked like some sort of dance, and maybe it was. Maybe that’s all I’ve ever really wanted, to dance in sync with a bunch of swole dudes. Either way, the legs were shot long before we finished, but we genuflected our way to the bitter end before lining up at the edge of the concrete for the final 8 minutes.

    Part 3 reflected the common experience YHC has of modifying an arm routine to a leg routine only to have the Q call a killer leg routine next. So, we would do 11’s until time ran out–flutters at the Stage, lunge walk to the sidewalk, leg raises at the sidewalk, and run back. It was basically a few ab exercises to provide a little space between a bunch of ridiculously long lunge walks. (I’ve discovered since then that if I sit down, I should plan to be there for a while.)
    This was a tough one, but these dudes cranked it out without stopping or complaining (too much), though I think Paradiddle did run behind his truck to let out what sounded like enough gas to inflate a weather balloon. Seemed like a waste of steps to me–I would have like to have seen how that affected his lunge walk.

    6:00 mercifully came, and the PAX made their way back to the Stage for the COT. Tana’s hair told the whole story–it looked like it had been through a lot and wasn’t even trying anymore. Frenchy got the Animal shirt, as mentioned, and Paradiddle prayed us out.
    Diddle decided to stay and clock one more mile, and as we were driving out, we saw Smooth go back from his truck to the track to join him so he didn’t have to run alone. That’s what it’s all about!!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Try Athletes – from Paradox

    Does anyone else have an item on your bucket list that looks wayyyy better on paper and in your head than in reality.
    YHCs has always been the triathlon.
    The conversation goes something like this :

    12 year old YHC brain:
    bruhhhh Conquering multiple elements of human locomotion in a variety of terrains, an ultimate test. You are literally an amphibious machine. Cross that finish line while everyone cheers your name. The ladies will be lined up. This is your life’s greatest work.

    35 year old YHC brain:
    bro , chill, you get the heeby jeebies from swimming in deep water, biking always hurts your back, and your feet cramp after a two mile run. If you keep taking ibuprofen you will get an ulcer. Check yourself before you shipwreck yourself.

    And so on just like that for decades.
    But no more!
    Today we put the triathlon to bed once and for all…as a team!

    Duke put down those electrolyte gummies and roll the footage.

    12 pax beat the gloom on a beautiful summer morning at the Peltch. YHC rolled in a touch early to plant a few seeds and then met up with a growing prethang Saturday crew of Horn, Diddle and Ronnie. With a steady pace we covered topics ranging from Cardinals secret beach workouts to Horns new longboard interest group and melted away a few miles in the process. Please text YJ for all prethang details if you are interested (there’s an application and he needs to know your long term intentions and previous prethang relationship history)

    Several more pax trickled in and we had a rock solid group ready to race.

    Warmup
    Started with a ear splitting cadence of 36 SSH to honor the bday of our resident beast Enron. Full back blast sarcasm aside here, Ronnie is a cornerstone of our pax , always exhibiting a tenacious spirit and has really progressed into a force to be reckoned with physically.
    Enjoy those well earned bday jucifers brother!

    We got back into a steady warmup when YHC heard a verbal altercation brewing.
    At only 2 minutes and 39 seconds into the beatdown Sheriff Deputy of Form Yankee Joseph found his first citation. Does proper form have an age limit? not for this deputy. There is no jurisdiction when someone does a half Side straddle. He is the Law.
    Little did he know the young Coyote is highly skilled in verbal jiuJitsu and in seconds had YJ questioning his entire form police career and presenting badge and gun to Goose.
    The dust settled and a Donnybrook was avoided , Goose threatened to hose us and we moved on.

    Indian run
    Classic Sea Shanty run
    Last man Drop off 5 diamonds merkins
    We ran to tennis court for two songs to set the mood.

    Da Tanggggg

    Part 1 : Swim
    Open Ocean Jam session

    Baby Shark
    YHC set the mood with this dark and foreboding tail.
    Burpee on Shark
    SSH on song
    On about the 3rd burpee we had our first casualty as the baby shark was clearly targeting the elderly blood in the water. Further investigation underway to see if a banana peel from Coyote was the murder weapon. (But seriously rest up Jeaux, the team needs you)

    Under the Sea
    Side shuffle
    Bobby Hurley on Sea
    This one got warm pretty fast and begin to set the stage for further cardio testing.

    Buddy System
    Partner up
    Both complete 20 2 is 1 flutter kicks sprint to tennis ball bucket. Ten merkins at tennis’s ball and sprint back. (About 50 yards away)
    We all ended up with 6 tennis balls per couple but Cuz did some weird Yee Yee math and said 5 so he and partner Frankenbeans took penalty burpees.

    Part 2 : Bike
    Indian Run #2
    We hit the road in search of our bikes.
    As we crossed the ditch Horn kept us entertained with a rendition of I believe I can Fly
    He ate that dirt sandwich with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. You can’t keep a good man down.

    Last man drop off for 5 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries.
    Frankenbeanz succumbed to a leg injury halfway through and YHC deployed Horn on a life raft to check in on the growing IR list.

    Bicycle Song at Tennis court
    Freddy mercuries on bicycle
    Leg raises on other parts
    Superfun(d) began to question the amount of sugar YHC had in his cereal.

    Part 3: Run

    Tennis Ball Suicide relay
    Split into two teams
    Must run full suicide to the bucket , get tennis ball
    Full suicide back to secure tennis ball at home base
    Team with most balls wins

    Back to the flag for a little Mary

    WetTap awarded the GiGi to Coyote for his resistance to the form police. I know Coyote is already busting merkins so he can look jacked in the GiGi next Sat.
    SuperFun(d) sent the Animal back to its originator as Goose continues to pound out 4000 Bonnie Blair’s and big boys per beatdown.

    COT and WetTap prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC is an over-analyzer by nature. If you lay out 20 reps of an exercise in front of me my brain says “ok 5 slowish, 10 regular then just kinda bob around till someone else stops. Full self preservation mode. Yet some of my favorite moments in F3 happen when the beatdown overrides the system. The intensity is cranked, sweat in your eyes, minimal mental processing, just you and your team stuck solidly in the present. One tennis ball at a time till there are no more.

    You can Try for yourself
    Try for individual gains
    Try for self recognition
    And you will feel good temporarily.
    But hidden in the secret sauce of F3 is the Try for others while the “Me” takes a back seat.

    Grateful for the men of F3 as we make each other a little stronger each day.

    SYITG
    Dox