Warmorama – SS, AbVagoda, and Arm circles
Mosey to rock pile, walk rock to exercise field
Tabata workout: 1 minute on 7 secons rest:
BB sit up, Soldier crawl(SC), BP rock, Lunge, Squat, Lunge, Curl rock, SC, Mtn climber, SC, tricep rock, Lunge, Flutter kick, Lunge, Shoulder press rock, SC, Mexican bean jump, SC, BP rock, Lunge, Merkins, Lunge, Squat rock, SC, BB sit up
Walk rock to rock pile, mosey to flag
COT
YHC recycled the basic Holy Week Stations of the Cross workout. 8 other PAX appeared in the gloom to join him. One of those PAX decided it was a good idea to bring a 10 foot cross tie. He was right.
Circle Up for the Warm up: Abe Vigoda x5. That’s enough. All we’ve got time for, as we have a lot of work to be done.
A few minutes to explain the drill. Each of the Station is a 3 minute cycle:
+ Lunge Walk half way across the football field (about 25 yards, seems to take 60-75 seconds)
+ Exercise until the 2:30 mark
+ Plank
During the Plank, YHC will announce the next station and the exercise that goes with it.
9 PAX will each take a turn with the cross tie, dragging it for the lunge walk (which makes it take a LOT longer…). At the 10th station, pair up and carry the cross tie (still lunge walking). So everyone got two rounds with the tie.
Station 1: Jesus sentenced to death by Pontius Pilate. Peter – Parker – Peters
Station 2: Jesus takes up his cross. Hand release Merkins
Station 3: Jesus falls the first time. Burpees (fall down, get back up)
Station 4: Jesus meets his mother Mary. BBSU (what else goes with Mary???)
Station 5: Simon helps Jesus. Slow Squats (this isn’t a race. Get parallel…)
Station 6: Veronica wipes the face of Jesus. V-Ups
Station 7: Jesus falls the second time. Burpees
Station 8: Jesus meets the women of Jerusalem. Hello Dolly
Station 9: Jesus falls the 3rd time. Burpees
Station 10: Jesus stripped of his garments. Squat Jumps (quads are definitely burning)
Station 11: Jesus nailed to the cross. T-Merkins
Station 12: Jesus dies on the cross. Genuflects (I thought my quads were burning before!)
Station 13: Jesus taken down from the cross. Carolina Dry Docks
Station 14: Jesus placed in the tomb. Low Plank
“Spy Day”. The day Judas betrays Jesus. Jesus knew that it was coming. He knew it when he chose Judas as an apostle. He knew it when Judas came to the last supper. He knew it all along, and he still chose Judas. One recent reading (alas, YHC cannot recall the source): “Judas’ biggest failure was not making it to Easter Sunday – when even HE would have been forgiven”.
No matter our sins, no matter our failures. Jesus welcomes us back to the fold. Let us always accept that forgiveness.
Coming in hot…..YHC could hear Hokie give the disclaimer and direct the pax to the field for a warm up. Shamefully entering the circle of anxious pax YHC could allow his tardiness go un punished so 5 burpees for all OYO.
Continue the……Oh no Gabby came rolling in late 5 more burpees for all OYO
Now finish the warm up
AbVagoda
Imperial Walkers
Front lung
Mosey to the rock pile
Line up along the running path 2-6-10
Kong out 2 with rock – 2 merkins 2 double unders then Kong out 6 – 6 merkins and 6 double under then Kong out 10 – 10 merkins and 10 double unders
1771
Line up rocks in the middle of the field
Start on one side 7 Burpee 1 V ups
Run to the center 7 overhead press then continue to the other side
7 v ups and 1 burpee
Run to the center 7 curls then to the starting side now 6 burpee and 2 V ups
Continue to repeat the above until the numbers on either side flip flop always adding up to 8.
Grap your rock head to the parking lot
Line up left to right spread out rocks
Circle Up for ring of merkin fire – 1 to 60 with a little encouragement to perform best possible even if modified.
Back to rocks – 2 to 10 merkins to standing squat press.
Return the rocks – time for Mary
Gas pumpers
Low plank
Big Boy Sit Ups
Low plank
Head to the flag for COT
The “BC” in BC Uptowner stands for Burpee Century meaning there’s going to be 100 cumulative burpees doled out at the Qs discretion and this day YHC apparently broke an unwritten rule of The Uptowner: no running (which Bogey shared quite vocally—AFTER THE WORKOUT)
Warmarama: typical Bolt Rapper’s Delight version.
Mosey to rock pile and select one heavy rock for Burpee Indian RUN plus two similar sized rocks for later: 10 burpees by all but one PAX who carries heavy rock along path until caught, rinse/repeat until all have carried rock
Mosey to pavilion for stations: chest press heavy rock, dips, squats with rock, step ups, LBCs (1 min set/30 sec rest). Two minutes late for COT.
Charmin, RevSox, Boo-Boo and PVC showed up at the Scrum ready to get stronger.
With the Shovel flag planted, a disclaimer was given, then a short mosey to a nice grassy area near the outdoor gym.
Warmup consisted of the usual stuff, skipping the unnecessary stuff.
Stations at the outdoor gym:
Sandbag over shoulder toss x 10 (timer)
Big boi sit-ups
Merkins
90 degree arm hang
Step ups
Mosey to the middle of the bird watching zone for dips and derkins.
Mosey to a new spot of grass and feel a little shock and awe
5 SSH 10 burpees
5 SSH 9 burpees
5 SSH 8 burpees
……
5 SSH 2 burpees
5 SSH 1 (NOT) 10 burpees! Who does 1 burpee??
Mini Dora
50 burpees
100 big boi sit-ups
150 squats
Back to flag for COT
NMM
RevSox really likes burpees. Seriously, he’s very vocal about it.
Boo Boo likes chasing rabbits, and he’s agreed to Q a beat down with that theme as the premise. It’ll be Epic!
Charmin has a gift for sarcasm, which makes him ideal for F3. His Qs are gonna be the best.
PVC has embraced this F3 Thang with 7 consecutive posts! T-Claps
Love you brothers!
SYITG
Knowing YHC hasn’t done as many miles as he planned or wanted given the opportunity to Q and add miles is always to plan. YHC showed up to the Flag hearing things like “I told you, a little faith Hokie”, “I thought I was going to win this bet”, “Then I hear Q needs to be here 15 minutes before working to welcome the PAX and any guest.” OK, well, “Welcome” then YHC waiting a few minutes did the disclaimer and instructed the PAX to grab a rock then head to the football field for warmups.
YHC lead PAX in various warmups and a little stretch. Then instructed the PAX on the THANG.
Somewhat of a BLIMPS but modified.
B= x5 Man makers Blimpy with a Rock overhead
L= x10 Lunge Twist with a Rock
I= x 15 Isolated Curls with a Rock
M= x20 Merkins alternating hands on Rock
P= x25 Bent-over Row with a Rock
S= x30 Squats with Rock
Run 1 Lap
Repeat until time expires
Music of course; much of which made Charmin cringe—mission accomplished.
Warmup:
SSH (25), Abe SLOWgodas (12x), arm circles forward/back, seal claps, overhead claps, Moroccans all 20x), self love (10); Toy soldiers, Hillbillies (15x)
The Thang:
Z90s: 5 thru 20 reps/4 exercises, mix crabs forward/back>bear forward/back between trees and switch exercise.
Round 1: burpee 5x, Cracker Jacks (frog>star jump>frog) 10x, merkin 15x, plank jacks 20x
Round 2 (bear crawl): burpee, air squats, Peter Parker, Moroccan night clubs
Round 3 (forward crab): burpee, Bonnie Blair, Parker Peter, overhead air presses
Round 4 (crawl bear): burpee, R/L side squats, diamond merks, LBCs
Chumbaburpee:
SSH at beginning of song, then every time they say, “I get knocked down, but i get up again” you do a burpee. While not doing burpees, you are continuously doing SSH.
COT. Welcome FNGs Pillsbury and Focker!
Warm up
Bring rocks to football field
Pax choice at 10 yard markers x10
– 10 burpees
– 5 Catalina wine mixers + 5 squat
– 10 merkins + 12 squat
Marry for rest of beatdown to tunes with Mary in it:
on back legs lifted rock rotate back forth R/L
Flutter with rock
Cocoon – lay flat with arms legs outstretched then crunch with arms at side of bent knees
Low plank knee tap
Glue bridge march – wife pleaser with arms extended straight up and lift alternating knee to chest
Sideways bear walk – knees just off ground
Leg lifts without touching ground (6 inches to 90 degrees)
Bird dog knee touch
Hello Dolly with rock
Nolan Ryan
Crunch start with legs extended
American hammer
Big bois with rock arms extended
Back alternating toe touches
Floyd Mayweather low
Plank jacks with shoulder tap
Side plank elbow with opposite arm outstretched
COT
Our illustrious (or infamous?) site Q, Bolt, advised YHC that starting this week there is a new plan for The Uptowner. This new plan involved “Get Down, Get Up” and “Make Frac really happy!”. Yup, we all guessed it. Burpees. The BC Uptowner. Burpee C-Note. 100 Burpees need to get folded into the workout. So YHC thought and thought and thought. How could we possibly get 100 burpees in over 45 minutes? HOW?
PAX (some who knew of this new plan, and some that were blissfully ignorant – Pai Gow asking whether it was too late to go to The Goldmine) appeared in the gloom around Vagabond’s 14 foot flag. Welcome back Charmin – great to see you becoming a regular! Scantron shows up with The Wood. Seriously, this time. Not Hawgcycle’s “toothpick”. But a real log. 9 PAX heard the disclaimer (including post-hate Disclaimer, arriving “on-time, millenial style”, but NOT including the aforementioned Frac). And we were off.
Circle up for warmup. Some stretching. Welcome Mambi! 10 PAX.
SSH x42: 42nd day of 2022. On this Day – 42:1 longshot Buster Douglas KOs Mike Tyson in 1992.
Elbow Plank for 2 minutes, as PAX discuss whether Charmin (27 yo) or Disclaimer (30 yo) even know who “Mike Tyson” was (besides being a movie star). Bolt produces wildly funny and 100% inappropriate joke that will not be repeated here.
Thing 1: Lucky 7s. Alas, the morning temperature was 44 degrees. So the Lucky Bear outfit stayed home (only appears at 40 degrees and under), much to Hokie Pokey’s disappointment. But we’ll repeat the drill. 7 minutes of 7 burpees on the minute, complete the minute with an exercise that YHC calls out. The resting is at the end. Half-way through, Macgyver appears – 11 PAX! Last round includes 8 burpees, so we get an even 50. Halfway home.
Mosey to the gym. Mambi and Macgyver nominated to haul the log. Mambi unceremoniously throws it at YHC’s feet upon arrival. Grab some wall. Donkey Kicks and Shoulder Taps (with feet up on the wall). 3 rounds of 10 x 10 each. Shoulders are burning. Lets keep that going.
Mosey to the gym steps. YHC has called this “The Italians scaling the Alps”. Up the stairs, 5 merkins at the top, then job to the bottom and plank. How do we go up the stairs? Bear Crawl, Crab Walk, Crawl Bear, Walk Crab. Then we gotta go down the Alps. So do the same, only in reverse order. YHC thanks Hawgcycle for the inspiration of doing something as dumb as Walk Crab up a hill. Other pax do not thank Hawg, but instead throw verbal insults at him.
Back to the Field. Repeat Lucky 7s to get the rest of the way to 100 burpees. Halfway through, Hawg decides to quit and head home. Sorry if this was too hard for you. The other 10 PAX slog through to the finish line.
28 J Los and 25 Penguins round out the day. Mosey back to the flag for our COT.
El Diablo has spiraled downward into nothing more than an AO where participation trophies are promised by Hawgcycle for simply showing up and cuddling with a slender slice of wood. It was obvious these pax needed to be reclaimed from the depths of mediocrity that the site Q had banished them to.
YHC planted a flag and with speaker in hand, gave a disclaimer, then moseyed to the field for warmup. There was SSH, there was grass grabbers, there was even some running on the track. But more importantly, there was bat wings ending in Moroccan night club with most all dancing.
The speaker played its part with 10 minutes of EMOM with burpees, then we ran some more.
YHC quickly discovered the pax has no idea what a column is, based upon their lack of compliance when called to form 2 columns. Once order was restored, one column was QB, other column was receiver. As one pax called out, it looked better on paper. 10 more burpees!
Mosey to the basketball court. Each pax shoots a free throw. A miss is 5 burpees, a make is a pass. We did a lot of burpees. There were a few pax that took a redemption shot, most notably Hokie, making the only basket of the day!
Back to the field for more burpees and Mary.
COT
We did 200 burpees, and passed around some balls. Thanks for joining me and for putting up with my stupid ideas. All pax earned another notch on Hawg’s Wood!!!
SYITG
