F3 New Orleans

Tag: Care Bear

  • Welcome to Hazzard County! – from The Duke of Hazzard

    Good golly miss molly, the weather hit this morning! 76 with a nice breeze in early August is a gift from the gods. And as the god of chaos (aka The Duke of Hazard) prepared to make his VQ, the PAX showed in numbers to shake the heavens.

    WARMORAMA

    YHC co-Q’d to lend moral support to the leadership of the 7 year old ball of energy, and so we started with x10, IC:
    SSH, Windmills, IW, Self Love, High Knees, Butt Kicks, 5 Burpees OYO

    THANG

    Mosied all of 20’ to 1st fire hydrant for the Wheel of Animal Walks:
    Frog Hop to 2nd fire hydrant (apex 80’ away) 10 Merkins
    Bear Crawl back, 10 Merkins
    Duck Walk, 10 Merkins
    Crab Walk, 10 Merkins

    5 Burpees OYO

    Mosey to Noah’s Ark

    5 Burpees OYO

    Partner up with “similarly sized” PAX for Fireman’s Carry. Using carry of choice, P1 carried P2 to Claiborne and P2 carried P1 back to sea wall.

    5 Burpees OYO

    Mosey to Gazebo

    5 Burpees OYO

    Fireman Drag
    Same partners, P1 drags P2 to designated point then switch and return

    5 Burpees OYO

    Mosey to flag

    5 Burpees OYO

    100 count Circle Merkins
    100 count Al Gore/Jump Squats
    100 count Tanked Up’s Down Ups

    5 Burpees OYO

    MARY

    XY’s
    On your 6, legs lifted, Hello Dolly (1,2), Flutter Kick (3,4)

    WWI Snow Angels
    WWI Sit Up, Snow Angel w/ arms & legs slightly elevated

    Foxhole Merkins
    Starting in Merlin down position perform Merkin (1,2) WWI Roll right Merkin (3,4) WWI Roll left

    Plank 30 seconds – 5Merkins – Plank 30 seconds R&R until time

    COT
    Count off, name-o-ramma, Happy Birthday T Claps to the returning Bear who made 14 the next day (today). Welcome FNGs Titan, Ikkie Shuffle, and Siggy!

    Gentlemen, many thanks for showing up for The Duke’s VQ and following his pint-sized lead. His tentative calls belied his excitement at leading the PAX on a tour of Hazard County!

  • Hurt Locker – from Akbar

    You’ll know it when you’re in it. Google definition: to physically mess someone up, badly. AKA a world of pain.

    Unlike the movie – we weren’t disarming bombs in the heat of combat, recklessly plunging men into a deadly game of urban combat, didn’t have to control a wild leader, no cities exploding into chaos, and may not have changed every man’s character forever.

    There wasn’t even a locker per se, but the 13 men who showed up to make themselves better for the day were in a sense locked into the beatdown.

    Did we have to overcome obstacles? Were we challenged? Was there sweat and complaints? Absolutely. There was enough bang to send us all to Jesus, but we didn’t die. We made ourselves better today.

    Conditions 79,WNW wind 4, 5% cloud cover, still hot

    Warm Up: x10 IC: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Hillbillies, Grass Grabbers, Self-Love, Toe Touches, Windmills, Merkin, Squat, 2 burpees
    _____________________

    Mosey toward the Gazebo for the main thang at the wall, with various moseys to the street and back in between. 20 reps for the first exercise, 30 for the second, and 2 burpees to wrap it up.

    Merkin, Squat, Burpees
    Dirkin, LBC, Burpees
    Irkin, Sumo Squat, Burpees
    Stone Mountain, American Hammers, Burpees
    Merkin, Lunges, Burpees
    Dirkin, Mountain Climber, Burpees
    Irkin, Sweat Angels, Burpees
    Wide Merkin, SSH, Burpees

    _____________________
    11’s at the wall – Freak Nasties and Supermans with a run in between

    7’s – Plank Jacks and Squats, Bear Crawl/run

    _____________________
    Mosey back to the flag for a Mountain Climber Ring of Fire

    Hold plank, start with 1 MC and add 1 each time around the circle – ended up stopping at 5.

    ____________________
    6 minutes of Mary, x10 IC

    LBC, Wife Pleaser, E2k, Little Manny crunches, Nolan Ryan, Heels to Heaven, Flutter
    Kicks, Plank, Down Dog, Cobra

    Count, Name, and Mathlete prayed us out.

    _____________________
    Announcements

    Iron Pax: Week 0 next week
    Grow Run NOLA – need more men or the event will be canceled. See Slack for details and sign up, or get with Fracsac
    Never forget 5k run/walk in Covington, Sept 9th

    Thanks for following my lead👊
    SYITG – Akbar

  • Return of the Catship – from Catfish

    Feeling zesty out at the Mothership this morning with 6 PAX.

    Started at the peristyle with a warmup:

    Abe Vigodas x 10 (in cadence)
    Grass Grabbers x 10 (in cadence)
    SSH x 30 (in cadence)
    Imperial Squat Walkers x 20 (in cadence)
    8-Counts x 15 (in cadence)
    Peter Parkers x 20 (in cadence)
    Plank Jacks x 20 (in cadence)
    Floyd Mayweathers x 20 (in cadence)
    Parker Peters x 20 (in cadence)
    Hold Plank, then low plank

    Back to feet for a round of the Motivator (counted down from 10), then grabbed some columns for
    calf raises x 20 (in cadence)
    tib raises x 20 (in cadence)
    SSH x 20 (in cadence) to keep the heart rate up

    Moseyed to benches for

    Dips x 20 (in cadence)
    Rocky Balboas x 20 (in cadence)
    Derkins x 20 (in cadence)
    Irkins x 20 (in cadence)
    SSH x 20 (in cadence) to keep the heart rate up

    Moseyed to the grass over by the museum for round of Killer B’s (bear crawls, burpees, broad jumps). PAX bear crawled two tree lengths, then broad jumped back, stopping for three burpees every 5 broad jumps. Did one round, then did Jack Webbs up to seven. Did another round of Killer B’s, then coninued Jack Webbs from eight to twelve. Did another round of Killer B’s, then got on sixes for

    LBTs x 20 (in cadence)
    Big Boys x 15 (in cadence)
    Not So Lazy Boys for time (10 seconds each position, right, center, then left)
    Dying Cockroaches x 15(in cadence)
    Hello Dollys x 15 (in cadence)

    Started the mosey back to the flag, stopped just before the bridge for another round of 8-counts x 10 (in cadence).

    Got to flags zone, then did some more of the Motivators for the remaining 2 minutes or so.

    CoT, coffeeteria @ PJs. Fun one!

  • The MURPH – from Jose10k

    It was simple: 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and 2 miles. We had split off into different groups of different levels, but in the end it was 14 of my F3 brothers completing the Murph this morning. COT, Hammer prayed us out with special intentions for TruCoats friend and Zoolanders father.

  • Fall Back – from Steve

    Talk about a dark warmorama. About the only definable figure I could make out was, well nobody, really, since Shooter wasn’t there. Of course I knew Jose was present from the early morning grumbling, but the rest of the crew were shrouded in mystery. Given such circumstances, YHC delivered a clear disclaimer in case there were any FNGs (turned out there were two), and we got things rolling.

    Started off with the usual – good mornings, windmills, torso twists, arm circles, IW’s, Hillbillies, SSHs, High Knees – mostly at 10x IC, but a 15 and a 30 crept in there. I like to say those instances are “to keep the pax on their toes,” but of course the pax is smarter than that – they know it’s just early morning brain fog.

    We hadn’t moseyed to the playground in a while, so that was on the menu today, stopping at each intersection for a set of 10x deconstructed burpees. Zoolander’s No-Booze-November had hit a snag the night before (a snag by the name of Woodford Reserve), and so my originally planned set of x20 burpees seemed cruel as he had, not but 5 minutes before this point, requested “no burpees, please.” So we deconstructed instead, which would mean 10x squats, 10x groiners, 10x merkins, and 10x jump squats. Knocked those out at the three intersections and then hit a fourth one when we reached the playground.

    Then it was time for one of my lakefront standards, a partner routine where P1 wall sits and performs overhead air presses while P2 hits three stations: 10 t-merkins, 10 jump squats, 10 big boys. Three rounds of that and it was on to neighboring grass patch for a few games.

    That’s right, games. Let it not be said (Toto) that I do not include any fun in my beatdowns! First up was a game called When Animals Attack, which features one pax (it) bear crawling to tag any of the other guys, who are all crab walking. Any one who is tagged then performs 5 burpees and immediately joins in as a bear, to help tag the rest of the crew. I had initially envisioned a rabid, growling Tanked Up tearing through that patch of grass, but alas, when the sun finally rose this morning and it was clear who was standing before me, there was no Tank to be found. Grundy was the next best choice, so he became the first bear. Now, whoever invented this game clearly did not know the Northshore region’s distaste for crab walking because when the game finally began, the crabs all just sat in place waiting to be tagged. Some even moved closer to the bear! It seemed unanimous – the guys would rather do their 5 burpees and half-heartedly attempt to tag others than crab walk five steps. The next round was hardly better than the first, with Zoolander and his stomach of steel as the bear, and so we moved on to another game: Duck Jousting.

    To say duck jousting was more successful might be a stretch, but it was certainly more entertaining. In this game, it’s every man for himself. You get in a low duck walk position with your arms across your chest, and hobble over to the nearest pax to try and topple him without the use of your hands. Once you’ve been knocked over, you start high kneeing until the game ends.

    Though this was totally a Mathlete type of game, a surprise attack by Zoolander knocked him out early on. It came down to Jose, Swole, and Zoo. Swole attempted a Switzerland type of strategy, where he simply sat (or squatted) off to the side and awaited the victor between Jose and Zoo. But this proved faulty when Zoo took him down by surprise. By this point, our two gladiators had entirely abandoned the rule of duck walking (well, let’s be fair, Zoolander was never actually duck walking from the start). Even with an assist from Bird, Zoo was unable to take down Jose, but one final assault sent both men to the ground in a tie.

    Time to head back, so we formed two lines and Bataan Death Marched back to the flag. Once back, we did some single leg squats to the sea wall while Turbo graciously picked up the six. Quick Mary and time for COT. Welcome FNG’s Slater and Woody, and t-claps for hanging in there. Hope to see you guys back out soon. (And a personal thanks to our FNG’s for forcing me to write a backblast after months of negligence.) Hammer prayed us out and off to Book and the Bean for coffeteria. Appreciate the opportunity to lead you men, SYITG.

  • F3 Justice – from Kuch

    F3 Regional Court – View District

    In the View District Court of F3 New Orleans

    ————————————————————–
    F3 Nola,
    Petitioner,
    v.
    Jeffrey “Kuch” Green
    Respondent
    ———————————————————-

    Kenner (America’s City), USA

    Friday, Oct. 29th, 2021

    APPEARANCES:

    The Honorable Boudreaux T. Hawgcycle, III, Pontiff, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Fracsac, The View, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Jefferey “Kuch” Green; LVCCC, F3 NOLA; the Respondent.
    Mambi, Hokie, Mahatma, Bear, Kennah Bruh, War Eagle, Bolt, Triple Shift as witnesses

    DISCLAIMER AND WARM-UP
    (5:30 AM)

    PROCEEDINGS
    (5:35 AM)

    Judge Hawgcycle: We will hear the argument in case 21-003, F3 NOLA vs. Jeffery “Kuch” Green. Mr. Kuch, allegations have been brought forth that you are a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, no good, Yankee lawyer. These are serious allegations and will be discussed at length throughout this morning’s trial. In keeping with a tradition of the court we will open this session with 15 burpees on your own. Proceed.
    The courtroom does 15 burpees. Bailiff Fracsac ensures that burpees end with a clap, adhering to courtroom regulations.

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the first allegation against Mr. Kuch. It has been discovered that in early 2018, Mr. Kuch visited a Yankee website to look up exercise names. After visiting said website, he proceeded to name running up a levee backwards “The Bernie Sanders.” The court contends that Mr. Kuch had no authority in naming this exercise. Let the records show that as early as 2016 this exercise, commonly performed at the City Park District AO Okwata, had been referred to by the name “Quadraphilia,” by the good men of F3 NOLA. If it pleases the court (and it does) everyone will now participate in a round of Quadraphilia. By definition this exercise will last 4 minutes.

    The Court did a round of Quadraphilia

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the second allegation against Mr. Kuch. It appears Mr. Kuch has started a non-F3 workout with only F3 participants. This is the bi-weekly Broga workout occurring in the City Partk District of F3 NOLA. This is an unsanctioned workout, but because of the F3 only participation, it has caused a great deal of confusion in the greater community. Article I of the Core Principles is clearly broken. The workout is not free. Adherence to Article IV of the Core Principals is questionable at best. The workout is led by the same gentleman each time, Mark “Pretzel” Berger. Mr. Pretzel is an acquaintance of the Court and his F3ness is clearly in question. Now if it pleases the court (and it clearly does) I will lead the court in a round of F3 NOLA Style Yoga to provide an example of how one should properly pay for a beatdown….through pain.

    The Court did the following exercises:
    • Downward Dog Merkins x 20
    • Warrior I Bonnie Blairs x 5

    At this time the court yields the floor to the Respondent:

    MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT:

    Kuch: the charges against me are serious, and I apologize to this Honorable Court and the Metry contingent on hand for the following:

    • Any time one of your wives saw me in one of my super hot tank tops and accidentally called you Kuch during intimate conversations during the following week.
    • For all of those times you got home and didn’t have to throw your $100 pair of tennis shoes in the dryer or place them on the outside A/C unit.
    • For using the exicon in an attempt to bring more variety to workouts and to make them more interesting.
    • For giving you an opportunity to gain mobility and prevent injuries.
    • For giving you a safe place to wear your yoga pants.

    In my defense, I come before the Court with exercises I believe will please Sheriff Frac Sac.
    The thang: 9 minute ascending EMOM burpee pyramid starting at 6 burpees and going through 14. On the dark side of the levee with visibility low, appropriate tunes were selected: Metallica’s “One” on repeat throughout the 9 minutes. Mumblechatter ensued. T-claps to the 4 people who got every single burpee. It was dark, but I recall Triple Shift, Sheriff Frac, The Hon. Hawgcycle, and one more (maybe Mahatma?)

    I reserve the remainder of my time for rebuttal:

    THE MORE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

    Judge Hawgcycle: It is the understanding of this court that Mr. Kuch has manipulated dozens of men in the greater New Orleans area using aggressive, psychological techniques. Through his manipulation he has convinced them to leave their comfortable, yet joyless lives, and follow him in the Gloom of F3 NOLA. Mr. Kuch’s aggressive behavior does not stop there. He constantly terrorizes men, texting them each evening to pressure them into posting in the Gloom. He is known to arrive in their driveway, yanking them from the comforts of their home and taking them to that morning’s workout. There have been allegations that he has an organized a car pool ring, known only as the LVCC, that terrorizes the Lakeview Community every weekday morning. The court does not take these allegations lightly. If it pleases the court (and it obviously does) we will now participate in an exercise to prove how psychotic this man is. May I have a volunteer?

    Kennah-Bruh raised his hand

    6 cones(representing the men of this world) were set out about 10 yards apart along the bike path. Kennah-Bruh played the role of Kuch and it was his job to make sure each cone was standing. All other members of the court represented the Cares of the World and their job was to knock the cones down. After knocking a cone over, you run to the top of the levee, then you can come back and knock cones over again.

    We did this for about 4 minutes. Kennah-Bruh worked valiantly to keep the cones upright, but he was unable to do so. At this point Kennah-Bruh petitioned the court for assistance.

    Mambi joined Kennah-Bruh and over the next 3 minutes they worked together to keep the cones upright. They had better results, but many cones continued to be knocked down.

    Triple Shift petitioned the court to join Mambi and Kennah-Bruh. With three men monitoring 6 cones it was more difficult for the Cares of the World to knock cones down. It became clear by then end of the exercise that anything greater than a one-to-one ratio of Kuchs to cones would be optimal. The court rests upon the argument that this is the goal of Kuch, to create an army of men in Lakeview that are constantly protecting the well-being of others.

    IN MY FURTHER DEFENSE:

    I throw myself at the mercy of this Court and acknowledge the seriousness of the transgressions, especially the yoga. Who could have known when this all started that only months later, F3 men would be showing up to workouts in yoga pants and their newest Lululemon attire. I take no joy in the yoga-fying of f3 New Orleans, and again in my defense, I think most of the uptown guys already had a considerable amount of Lululemon athleticasual wear for all seasons. I suggest it could have been worse – I’ve never made a man wear Notre Dame shoes. I don’t get people’s feet wet when I Q. There is a lot respect for shoes in the LVCC. I’ve never asked a man to take a 12-hour stroll with a 30-pound backpack or run 100 miles through the damn woods. But still, in light of the charges against me, with my last act as champion of this AO, soon to deposed, I set my sights on one final goal.

    Now, some may say this goal is completely out of reach, like teaching the blind to see or the deaf to hear. I prefer to think of it as a “lifetime project,” something that we know will take many many eons to attain, but remains attainable, in theory at least, nonetheless. That goal: Bring a modicum of frisbee competency to Metry.

    The thang: Gather in a circle, 2 in the middle, guys in the circle pass the frisbee around, and everytime it hits the ground, 5 merks for everyone in the circle and 2 new people in the middle. There. Were. Many. Merkins. I lost count quickly. However, as time went on, we were able to string together some rallies, so I feel like we took an important step. We will see next time we all step on the field.

    In all seriousness, briefly: Thanks for having me fellas. Thanks for a truly unique and creative beatdown, Hawg. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for bearing with me for the stuff that did not work as well. Frisindian run…. Enjoyed spending some time with my Metry brothers. I will be back. Congrats to Hawg, truly a HIM.

    VERDICT:

    Court was adjourned around the flag of the United States of America. After instructions from the lead juror, Mr. Mambi, the jury quickly returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all counts. It is hereby proclaimed by this court that Mr. Kuch has been found guilty of being a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, Clown Car driving, Emotional Headlocking, Accountability Providing, Encouraging, High Impact Man and is hearby relieved of his duties as the Champion Q of F3 New Orleans and is sentenced to 6 months of Community Service in the Pontiff District teaching the most uncoordinated men in the F3 NOLA region the fundamentals of Frisbee.

  • Welcome back Bear for IPC 2021 Week 4 – MaryAnne’s Mayhem – from Hokie

    For this 45 minute workout, set the timer for 52 minutes and 30 seconds 😉

    AMRAP

    In sets up 25 with a 25 yard run, 3 burpees and 25 yard run back

    200 curls (8 sets of 25)
    175 squats (7 sets of 25)
    150 Overhead Press (6 sets of 25)
    125 Kettlebell Swings (5 sets of 25)
    100 Merkins (4 sets of 25)
    75 Thrusters (3 sets of 25)
    50 Bonnie Blairs (right leg-left leg = 1 rep) (2 sets of 25)
    25 Blockees (1 sets of 25)

    If you finish all of the exercises, repeat in reverse order from the last time you just did it.

    The burpees DO NOT count in your rep count.

    900 reps is the total if you get through all of the exercises.

  • Welcome back Bear for IPC 2021 Week 4 – MaryAnne’s Mayhem – from Hokie

    For this 45 minute workout, set the timer for 52 minutes and 30 seconds 😉

    AMRAP

    In sets up 25 with a 25 yard run, 3 burpees and 25 yard run back

    200 curls (8 sets of 25)
    175 squats (7 sets of 25)
    150 Overhead Press (6 sets of 25)
    125 Kettlebell Swings (5 sets of 25)
    100 Merkins (4 sets of 25)
    75 Thrusters (3 sets of 25)
    50 Bonnie Blairs (right leg-left leg = 1 rep) (2 sets of 25)
    25 Blockees (1 sets of 25)

    If you finish all of the exercises, repeat in reverse order from the last time you just did it.

    The burpees DO NOT count in your rep count.

    900 reps is the total if you get through all of the exercises.

  • Welcome back Bear for IPC 2021 Week 4 – MaryAnne’s Mayhem – from Hokie

    For this 45 minute workout, set the timer for 52 minutes and 30 seconds 😉

    AMRAP

    In sets up 25 with a 25 yard run, 3 burpees and 25 yard run back

    200 curls (8 sets of 25)
    175 squats (7 sets of 25)
    150 Overhead Press (6 sets of 25)
    125 Kettlebell Swings (5 sets of 25)
    100 Merkins (4 sets of 25)
    75 Thrusters (3 sets of 25)
    50 Bonnie Blairs (right leg-left leg = 1 rep) (2 sets of 25)
    25 Blockees (1 sets of 25)

    If you finish all of the exercises, repeat in reverse order from the last time you just did it.

    The burpees DO NOT count in your rep count.

    900 reps is the total if you get through all of the exercises.

  • 34 year Old Virgin

    Last Thursday at Okwata Rudy being Rudy suggested I sign up to Q.  At first, I said to myself “not going to happen” then over the course of the day I decided to look up the Q sheet just to see when the next Q spot was open- thinking it would be about 5-8 weeks out. Not the case, there was an opening the next week (today). I decided to rip the band aide off and pop my Q cherry and sign-up for my VQ. 

    18 PAX met out on the banks of Okwata with 15 mph winds whipping a nice cool 50 degrees through our bodies. Considering this is the 2nd official day of spring I hope the cold weather is past us. The 20 degree weather swings from 5:30am to Noon is getting old.  

    We started off with a Mosey to the grass by Landry’s for warm-ups. Probably one of the only time’s you’ll ever hear the restaurant Landry’s come out of my mouth.  The warm ups consisted of:

    25 – SSH IC
    15 – Should Taps IC
    15 – Arm Circles Front IC
    15 – Arm Circle Reverse IC
    15 – Plank Jacks IC
    15 – Peter Parkers IC
    15 – Mountain Climbers IC

    In full disclosure the above workouts above were “the plan” not sure what the final counts were. Never realized how hard it was to count when the Q. Much respect for my past Q’s.  Also, a lot of mumble chatter about having to get back to your feet for arm circles and then back down again for plank jacks might have to incorporate more of this in future Q’s since everyone enjoyed it so much.

    My novice and out of breath warm-up Counting self, decided a 30 second count down was a good idea – After some grumbling – Kuch quickly counted to 10 (thanks for the help!) and we then proceeded to split into 2 groups for an Indian Run back to the Hill. At the Hill we partnered up for a little “bern”. One partner did a Bernie Sanders up the Hill and run back down (then switch) until the below exercises were complete.

    50 – Burpees
    100 – Merkins
    200 – Monkey Humpers
    300 – LBC

    Now that our legs were nice and “berning” we crossed the street to complete running to the street light and post up for 5 merkin’s X 3 lights. The goal was to hit 3 street lights that were a decent length from each other, however I didn’t realize there were two sets of street lights one’s on the left and one’s on the right. My intentions were the left (the distance one’s) however we improvised and completed the exercise. We circled up for Mary where we did:

    20 Flutter Kicks IC
    10 Turtle Crunchs IC
    10 Hello Dolly IC
    10 Big Boy Sit Ups OYO

    Again, this was “the plan” not sure what the final counts were as I was once again out of breath from counting. Definitely need to work on that for next time!

    With 3 mins to Spare we Moseyed back to the Flag where Mahatma suggested a little ring of Fire. 6:15am came and we circled up. 18 PAX were at the AO. We welcomed a new FNG “The Greek”.  Congrats to Two Yutes on making 10 years of marriage!

    It was an honor to lead this group.