F3 New Orleans

Tag: Captain Sparkles

  • well, hello mr. turtle!

    I, and many of my F3 brethren, have rolled in hot at the last minute, but never have I pushed the boundaries so far as to be tardy! Fortunately,  between my text and flashing of brights from blocks away, Captain Sparkles and Shooter knew to wait for the Wacker.  We pre-thanged a quick 2 mile run (despite what my mapmyrun app wanted us to believe) and were greeted upon our return by diesel fumes and over-cab lights of the man himself, Mr. Turtle (spoken in Shooter’s best imitative drawl).  And just to prove that YHC is not the only man who suffers from an occasional bout of RBS, or “Runner’s Bowel Syndrome”, Captin Sparkles availed himself of the Marsh’s facilities while the rest of us, respecting the time, got down to it.

    Thang:

    Each man did a solo circuit of 25 merkins, 10 pull ups, 25 freak nasties, and 25 squats while the remaining jabronies were cranking out endless LBCs.  Next, with tracking apps tracking, we mosied over to grandmother’s house where, while the restless crowd was planked up, each man took a turn to run  the length of the covered area, up the tower stairs, back down, and returned to tag the next man. The next mosey took us back to the marsh…AUDIBLE…all the way to the lake front. YHC and Shooter pulled up to the water ready to plank up in anticipation of Captain Sparkles’ and Turtle’s arrival when we looked back to see we were all alone in the gloom. With nary a moment to spare, we dropped for 10 burpees each and  got while the gettin’ was good. I believe the offical story had something to do with the amount of time remaining being insufficient for Mr. Turtle to make it there and back, and Captain Sparkles, always a shining example, adhered to the no man left behind policy that we hold so dear in F3.

    We counted, we named, we prayed, we mumble chattered.

    Thank you, gents, for stepping up this gloom to follow my humble lead….your abs can thank me tomorrow?

  • Celebrity Q

    Much like POTUS’ final season of Celebrity Apprentice which starred the likes of Geraldo Rivera and Ian Ziering, this morning’s Celebrity Q brought the biggest names of the Northshore PAX out of retirement.  Along with the return of Turtle came the long-awaited return of founding-father Nacho, as well as Ocho and Choppa.  It was also Tanked Up’s first foray into Grandmother’s House.  Had this beatdown been broadcast, it surely would’ve been a ratings bonanza. Like, totally huge.

    In keeping with Turtle’s dislike of rules and regulations (see Krazy Ivan disqualification for reference), the Q had us skip the warm-up portion of the beatdown and head straight into some shoulder work.  (Spoiler: there would be a lot of shoulder work.  In fact, that was the only thing Turtle had planned for us this morning.)

    The Thang: 40 merkins OYO, followed by shoulder taps 25x IC, arm circles forward 20x IC, reverse 20xIC, and air presses 40x IC.  Not sure at all about those numbers, even though YHC was the one doing the counting.  (Another Turtle thing, he has yet to conquer counting in cadence…)

    Round 2: After YHC deliberately disregarded the Q’s request for only 15x IC Shoulder Taps, the Q wrested back control of the beatdown and finally tried counting in cadence for himself.  Air presses 20x IC, arm circles forward and reverse 15x IC, and finally, 15x merkins OYO.

    Then a mosey through the woods to the tunnel, where the PAX circled up for… merkins, shoulder taps, air presses, and arm circles!  Then Turtle turned the Q over to YHC, who attempted to show the PAX a new 8-count exercise that consisted of a groiner (1-2), down into an elbow plank (3-4), plank jack (5-6), and back up to normal plank (or “F3 Plank,” as the Q today would call it).  This was semi-successful, as Tanked Up seemed to have it down.  So it’d be a partner routine, with P1 doing the 8-count exercise described above, and P2 sprinting have the tunnel, back-pedaling the rest, and doing 10 jump squats before returning in the same manner he came.  YHC had planned a few rounds with various exercises, but again, Turtle did not like the way things were proceeding and decided it was time to head to the bus stop for some leg work.

    Knee Ups, each leg 15x IC, Freak Nasties 15x IC, Bulgarian Splits, each leg 15x IC, Freaks, 15x IC.

    And the grand finale – turning the Q over to Choppa for 5 minutes of Mary: Crunchy Frogs, Flutter Kicks, Hello Dollies, Jane Fondas (L&R), and some merkins to bring it back full circle.  All to some intense music that I’m pretty sure is used for action movie trailers.

    Nameorama, countdown, and Turtle closed it down with a thoughtful prayer.  T-claps to all the men who made it back after such a long hiatus, it really was a lot of fun seeing you guys again.

  • Krazy Ivan 2018

    The events depicted in this Backblast are completely stupid and utterly pointless.  Any similarity to events which are neither stupid nor pointless is purely coincidental.  

    No animals were harmed in the running of the Krazy Ivan.

    The Inagural Northshore Krazy Ivan CSAUP went off as planned, sort of.  The Northshore won, the Southshore whined, and it was….warm??!!??  The lack of frigid conditions made for a slightly less stupid but still rather pointless event.  Next year, we will aim higher.  Without further ado…

    Twenty men gathered at the gazebo on the Mandeville lakefront on a beautiful, starry, breezy Saturday evening: 15 Northshore PAX, 1 Northshore Scorekeeper, and 4 Southshore PAX.  Lots of mumble chatter, a bit of trash talk, and some ogling at the Freedom Hammer ensued.  Somewhere around 2100, as the PAX waited for Triple Shift to open the needle valve to bleed some pressure (a little oilfield lingo, there), THE Manny rung the bovine bell.  Some quick instructions from YHC, including a warning of low visibility, potentially questionable footing, an offer of flashlights (offer summarily rejected), and the PAX gathered at the starting line.  Hawg mumbled something about the Gnarly Nutria always beginning on time.  Uh huh.

     

    With another ringing of the bovine bell, THE Manny released the hounds.  Turbo, Backdraft, Steve and all the other skinny dudes went out guns blazing.  Out and back to the west end seawall x 3 was the course.  The easterly breeze made for a nice tailwind on the way out that was as appreciated as was the equal and opposite headwind was loathed on the way back.  That is, unless you were Triple Shift.  You see, Triple Shift had a strategy, folks: get right on the heals of a really good looking, husky PAX and run in his ample slipstream the entire race, save for the last 50 yards when you turn on the reserves and blast past him.  So if you think about it, Triple owes YHC one of his points.  But more on the (contested) scoring later.

     

    The course was dark, sometimes nearly pitch black.  Although Orian’s belt and the waxing crescent were quite visible, the running path was at times not.  As 19 PAX trekked and traversed back and forth, forth and back, we passed those both ahead and behind us, those who lapped and those who got lapped.  This afforded the PAX opportunity to root for, hiss at, tease, encourage, or mock those we were passing.  I can speak for Triple, as he was behind me the entire time benefitting from all my hard work I mean seriously did I mention that already I mean it’s not a big deal that he got one more point than I did but really when you think about it I should at least be added to his Christmas card list but whatever I’m not bitter or anything.  Particular attentiveness and night vision skills were needed to navigate the last two tenths of the west end.  YHC had specifically warned the PAX about this risky, questionable section of the course.  So it’s a good thing that YHC himself did not take a tumble and nearly bust his ass on the exact part of the course on which the warning was issued.  That would be ironic.  Dontcha think.

    At the finish line, the PAX again gathered and coalesced.  Fracsac volunteered for Safety Caboose, finishing up the race and also ensuring that no man was left behind, injured, abducted, or absconded with.  Thanks Frac.  THE Manny tallied up the score and announced a 176-31 Northshore victory; looks of mistrust appeared on a few faces.  Perhaps that was because they were expecting a 177-31 loss.  But, abiding by the only rule of the Krazy Ivan – run the race in a tank top – THE Manny exercised legislative, judicial, and executive powers and stripped Turtle of his single point for finishing the race in a hooded sweatshirt.  Coutoramma, Nameorama, BOM, and off to The Barley Oak for some F2.

    At the BO, drinks were had an all was merry.  Tomatoes tested the neck twisting and head turning capabilities of Captain Sparkles (ok, his were not the only capabilities tested…hellLLOOO black dress).  An impromptu yet formal meeting of the F3 Rules Committee adjudicated on the ability to move an AO once it is established.  Verdict: negative ghost rider, pattern’s full brah.  At this point, Hawg petitioned the Rules Committee for a formal, third party review and calculation of the night’s score.  THE Manny’s honour in question, YHC immediately began the process.  Third party results are in, proving that you should sometimes watch what you ask for.  The final, certified, verified, bonafied count is 190-35.

     

    Excellent CSAUP, PAX.  T-Claps to the Southshore guys who posted.  We will see you at the 2018 Gnarley Nutria.  A pleasure to be amongst you.

     

    EiEi

  • Crackerjack surprise

    Well committed to the Monday beat down and curious to whom would kick my but this gloom, I checked the Q sign up to see who it would be at 4:00am as I was very surprised no one had signed up to Q in this beautiful weather. Well I thought easy Q right if everyone checks the Q for the day and see’s no one signed up hey probably no one will show and I could hit it light and easy. So I signed up for the Q at 4am. Well not to my surprise there is always someone looking for a workout on the Northshore and had two hardcore F3 brothers ready to round robin it if need be. But just like in a crackerjack box they got a surprise Captain Sparkles signed up to Q at 4am. And since it was last min. This Q had no pre plans for a beat down. So it makes for a very hard backblast remembering everything that was done. But I’ll give it a shot with exercises probably not in order but most certainly done.

    Warm up all in cadence
    40 side straddle hops
    20 windmills
    20 High knees

    Moving Straight into the thing
    IN CADENCE
    25 LBC
    25 leg flutter
    2 min. Plank
    50 Putin’s
    50 Merkins
    25 LBC
    25 leg flutter
    25 Putin’s
    15 Hanging leg lifts
    5 pull-ups
    15 hanging leg lifts
    5 pull-ups
    20 LBC
    20 leg flutter
    6” off ground held legs for 60 mississippi
    25 Merkins
    20 Toe touches
    50 right leg step ups
    50 left leg step ups
    20 LBC
    20 leg flutter
    2 min. Plank
    1 min. Right plank
    1 min. Left plank
    50 air squats
    25 right side Jane Fonda’s
    25 left side Jane Fonda’s
    15 combination of bicycle/ Imperial walkers / on Butt very tuff balancing while in motion makes for a great core workout.
    Basically it was a CORE day with some or a lot of extra thrown in.
    Thanks Shooter and Pelican for being there and holding me accountable to a half way hard beat down.

  • 22% Do I NEED TO SAY MORE!!!

    Man I hate to admit this publicly but this Q on this day was really hoping to have a bunch of fart sackers so I myself could go back to my warm house!!! Sitting in my truck posting my soon to be morning routine on Facebook wondering if I’m helping or hurting F3 chances of getting any new FNG’s. Posting at 4:45am in 22% weather might or should I say probably sounds crazy to most! But the second thing I realized is how strong the fellowship is to bring brothers together in such extreme temperatures to get in a good beat down. There truly is no other group like F3!!!
    Thanks again Captain Sparkles

    Now for Warm ups in cadence
    40 Side straddle hops
    20 windmills
    20 Imperial walkers
    20 Butt kicks
    20 High Knees
    20 LBC’s
    20 Putin’s or American hammers

    The Thang

    5 times up down the stairs

    Up stairs every step doing the number of calf raises that coincides with the step your on. Step one 1 calf raise step two 2 calf raises step fifteen 15 calf raises all the way to step 27. That’s 378 calf raises.

    Down steps same thing except squats. That’s 378 squats

    3 times up down the stairs jog pace.

    20 Merkins on your own.

    Lung walk to end of covered trace area.

    Mosey to bus stop for
    10 box jumps on benches
    10 Freak Nasty’s
    10 box jumps
    10 Freak Nasty’s
    10 box jumps
    10 Freak Nasty’s

    Then hands on bench hoping over bench together on Q’s count to 15

    Mosey back to Flag area for the finish

    10 in cadence LBC
    10 in cadence Putin’s
    10 in cadence flutter kicks

    Holding legs 6” above ground for count to 60 ok that was to easy again

    Holding legs 6” above ground for 60 mississippi Little harder.

  • One is a LONELY Number!

    Well Captain Sparkles got a surprising welcome home for the 10K Friday. It was fun while it lasted but looks like 10K Friday’s are coming to an end. What I learned this gloom at 4:45am in 35% weather is be careful what you ask for because you just might get it.
    Well enough about that Captain Sparkles did things a little different since he was running along. Decided to pray while I ran. And gave myself RESPECT for not getting back in truck and heading home. Hey I was up so let’s get it done! If you want to be above average you have to do things alone sometimes.