F3 New Orleans

Tag: Bushwacker

  • Long Duk Dong and The Marsh Revival

    After a weeklong hiatus from F3, spent hanging with Captain Hollywood aboard the USS Kidd, it felt really good to be back in action this morning.  First off, t-claps to Bushwhacker, who responded promptly to Turbo’s call to EH more FNG’s, producing one the very next beatdown at the near-comatose Marsh.  Just more proof that Wacker’s gift of gab is good for more than just entertaining the men of F3.  Our FNG – Big Tuna – jokingly introduced himself with his own nickname (one that had us all laughing but won’t be printed here for posterity), a nickname that had YHC thinking of a classic character from 1980’s cinema (and yes, likely an offensive cliche) – Long Duk Dong, aka “The Donger.” YHC slightly regretted not bringing this up, because upon further reflection on the car ride home, YHC decided ‘The Donger’ is a pretty great nickname.  So like that time when Rudy wanted someone to be named Apples and willed it to be, YHC may be bringing The Donger out again in the near future.  But…  ‘Big Tuna’ fit the bill just as well, and he was a very welcome addition to the crew this morning, single-handedly getting the Marsh back up on its feet with SIX  PAX posting.  It felt like old times.  Now if we could get Splice back out there, this AO’s days of solo posts could be a thing of the past.

    Warm-Up: SSH, IW’s, Windmills, Toe Touches, Good Mornings, High Knees, Butt Kicks, all IC at or around 20x.

    The Thang:  Back at the Classic a few weeks ago, Shooter, Sparkles, Wacker and YHC passed the practice track in City Park and remembered fondly the 14 hours of pain and misery known as the Grow Ruck.  YHC is pretty sure the Marsh was borne out of that experience, where many of us first experienced the army physical fitness test.  Butt Splice opened the Milestone Marsh for business soon after, pushing us to set a benchmark each week with 1 minute of merkins, 1 minute of sit-ups, and a timed 1 mile run.  Keep your count and try to improve each week.  It’s been a while, and YHC thought it’d be nice to bring back a component of that.  So we began with:

    1 minute, as many merkins as possible.  The Pelican knocked it out of the park, so he took a water break while the rest of us hit 10x burpees, OYO.

    Next up, 1 minute of sit-ups.  YHC is not sure who won the count on this one, but it didn’t matter too much since there was no time for another 10 burpees, gotta keep this train moving.  So we moseyed onward, to the lakefront.

    Stop at the sea wall for: Irkins x10 IC / BSS L x10 IC / Freak Nasties x 10 IC / BSS R x10 IC / Derkins x10 IC.

    Then, on to the legendary stairs of Rips for a twist on an old classic: PAX performs Rocky Balboas, while one man begins the ascent, performing 10x calf raises as he hits each step.  At around the 3rd step, he call the next man up.  And so on, until the entire crew is lined up staggered on the stairs, pulsing up and down like a bunch of madmen.  Once you hit the top platform, knock out 10x merkins and then begin the descent, this time performing 10x squats on each step.  As each man completes the journey, he returns to the curb to continue with the Rocky Balboas until the entire PAX has completed the routine.

    Finally, mosey back to the Marsh to hit an abbreviated Mary: Leg Raises 15x IC, Putins 20x IC.

    Countdown, Nameorama and naming of the FNG, Announcements and Pelican prayed us out.  Welcome Big Tuna, great to see a new man post at 0500 on a Monday morning!  Hope to see you out there again soon.  And thanks guys for the opportunity to lead and for the motivation to get out of bed, I appreciate it!

  • Carpe Diem Convergence

    The F3 Nation knew about YHC before YHC knew about the F3 Nation.  You see, YHC’s brother-in-law, Lynchpin, lives in Charlotte.  In the early days, before the F3 Nation planted its flag in NOLA, Lynchpin routinely and enthusiastically regaled YHC with stories of legendary beatdowns and CSAUPs, tongue in cheek nicknames, funny exercise names and other F3 lore.  Then, when F3 decided to expand to NOLA, Lynchpin tried to EH YHC, but YHC begged off.  It all sounded, well to be honest, like a cult and how could YHC trust Lynchpin anyway?  After all, he married YHC’s sister.  Ugh.  But resistance was futile.  The NOLA PAX crossed Lake Pontchartrain in its Durham boat, Reluctant Yankee at the helm like George Washington crossing the Delaware. Nacho and Chewy fell in upon the PAX’s arrival and, together, they planted the shovel flag in the Gloom on April 9, 2016.  F3 Northshore was born.  How could YHC resist a free workout in his own backyard?

    A few weeks later, the NOLA PAX boarded their Durham boat and retreated back across the Lake, leaving the Northshore PAX to make the most of their gift of F3.  We stumbled about, we made mistakes, we created a new AO only to abandon it a few weeks later, and we had more than a few beatdowns with one or two PAX.  Somehow, however, we made it and two years later look forward to seeing one another regularly to suffer and have fun together.

    As this morning’s two year anniversary convergence approached and YHC learned that the weather more likely than not would be awful, there was no concern.  Two years of meeting rain or shine, hot or cold, left no doubt in YHC’s mind that the PAX would post.  And post they did.  And you know what?  The weather held off just long enough for us to celebrate our birthday with a 3 hour beatdown, visiting 5 of 6 Northshore AOs by the mechanical device known as the bicycle.

    Mandeville Lakefront:  4 burpees OYO, 19 SSHs IC, 20 IWs IC, and 16 Seal Jacks IC.

    Captain’s Cove:  4 vertical jumps OYO, 19 Copperhead Squats IC, 20 Sumo Squats IC, and 16 Regular Squats IC.

    Milestone Marsh: 4 plyo Merkins OYO, 19 Merkins IC, 20 Shoulder Taps IC, 16 slow seconds Mission Impossible.

    At this point, Chewy politely pointed out that he had figured out what YHC was up to with the count but that our birthday is April 9, 2016, not April 19, 2016.  Point well taken.

    Grandmother’s House:  4 Sister Mary Katherine’s OYO, 9 front to back lunges IC, 20 45 degree lunges IC, and 16 later lunges IC.

    And then, after a 10 mile mosey on the Tammany Trace to Covington:

    The Gipper:  4 Freddy Mercury’s IC, 9 Freddy Flutters IC, 20 Hello Dolly’s IC, and 16 Flutter Kicks IC.

    Then we mounted our bikes for the 10 mile ride back to the shovel flag for the countorama, nameorama, Shooter’s prayer and a coffeeteria, arriving about an hour later than anticipated.  No one will confuse YHC for a Swiss train conductor after this morning’s logistics, that’s for sure.

    Thanks for letting me lead, guys, and thanks for your willingness to try something different and new and for posting despite the threatening weather and actually being disappointed it didn’t pour on us.

    Some parting thoughts:

    We’ve come a long way on the Northshore.  Things have become almost comfortable and, while there’s a lot of positive to that sentiment, there are dangers too.  We could stop growing.

    So here’s a call to action.  Commit to EH’ing more FNGs and supporting them through their virgin post so that they return.  Commit to Q’ing more workouts, putting time into planning your Qs, and posting timely BackBlasts.  Commit to a CSAUP.  Commit to making yourself better and leading by example, always keeping your eyes open for growth and leadership in all three of the Fs.  If we want F3 Northshore to grow, then we are the ones that need to make it happen.

    Carpe Diem.

     

     

     

     

  • He just cursed them out!

    With Captain Sparkles and Steve pursuing the bright lights of Hollywood South, only two F3 brethren took to the streets of Old Mandeville for the morning’s beatdown.

    6.2 mi run at comfortable pace—I mean, seriously, the Crescent City Classic is over, and February’s Run Ranger Run has been overshadowed lately by the latest ISI challenges (Turbo and Bushwacker, I’m cursing you under my breath)

    2.5 minutes of absolute pain thanks to Bushwacker’s ISI challenge on  the way out.

    YHC prayed us out  Thanks, Shooter, for responding to my EH yesterday and posting this morning at the Cove.

  • Detours come in many ways at the Scramble

    The Scramble produced a multitude of Detours on this Gloom. Two of these Detours would be produced by a single PAX member named Bushwacker. Upon his arrival the QIC and Waterpik were welcomed by him exiting is vehicle in what seemed to be LIME green Yoga pants or may be better explained as Leotards. Either choice would lead one to think he reached into the Ms wardrobe without proper lighting, but truth be told the QIC later learned they were closely monitored from shelf to clearance awaiting to be purchased. With close consideration one could only associate the seen with safety for the PAX as we make our journey down dark roads and the iridescence glow would prove as a reflective protection along our path.

    to be continued…

    warmup

    15 IC GM, 15 IC TT and a simple stretch of palms to the ground.

     

    the thang

    Began our journey down the standard route with chatter of the upcoming Convergence on Saturday. Quickly into the Mosey we see heavy equipment across the roadway to Sunset point. The Q is tasked with considering a different route? Or should we proceed as trespassers of a construction site? Well of course we know nothing is out of the question with this crew. So we proceed our entry toward a massive excavator with decisions of choosing left or right. Q hears chatter from Pik about going left but instead YHC  decided otherwise and thankfully so because left would have been reminiscent of a recent Tough Mudder event through drainage pipe.. We get across on a narrow piece of earth to continue our journey. We get to the pier and proceed back when yet another Detour would be presented to the Q. Bushwacker has to make a pit stop at a plastic disposal site better known as a Porta Jon. With keeping with no man left behind YHC and Waterpik interrupt the run by knocking out 30 IC SSH, 20 IC Slow Merkins and wrapping up with 15 IC WM. Rejoined by our Leprechaun we continue to the finish line with 5 to spare. We hit our 6 for the ISI of  2 min hundreds and complete the beatdown..

    Countarama, annoucarama, COD

    Thanks to Waterpik for praying us out!!

    Enjoyed the journey and fellowship with you fine men no matter what the attire may be!!

    Appreciate the lead

  • Rollin’ Dice in da Rain (Gambleholics Anonymous)

    So Much for the ch4 forecast last night saying that the rain would be out of here by 5am and we would only get about 1/2 an inch! Fortunately, it settled to a light drizzle by the stroke of 6:30am. (not so much for our southshore bretheren)

    But the 1st rule of Gambleholics Anonymous is to show up…I suppose. And so 4 brave PAX indeed did just that. Calling a rain-induced audible to the planned strategy for YHC’s clandestine beatdown, we opened with a little warm-o-rama consisting of 20x each:

    Toe Touches

    Windmills

    SSH

    Imperial Walkers

    High Knees

    After an unusually brief mosey we commenced with a dice-rolling, knowledge-testing, beatdown of fun, ass-whoopin dimensions! And speaking of brief, for those who did not claim victory over the dry fart sack and the torrential weather that southern Louisiana was presented with this gloom, this is all of this sure-to-reappear beatdown  you have access to at this point.

    After returning from whence we came, we closed out with Mary consisting of 20x:

    Freddy Flutters

    Crunchy Frogs

    100s

    Count, Name , Prayer

    2 year convergence next saturday, sure to be an adventure not to be missed. Bring your bike if you can/have one

    Many thanks to the PAX who posted and endured the beta test if YHCs lead today. For those who didn’t…you’ll get your chance soon – I pinky promise!

  • Name change?

    That was the question of the morning at the Milestone Marsh.  YHC told the Pax to mosey on over to the”Workout”Equipment and Bushwacker, who pretty much does a play-by-play broadcast during every beatdown, opined that it was really “children’s play” equipment.  And, truthfully, he is probably correct.  But, I have a better question to ponder…Is it too late to rename Bushwacker, “Jim Henderson”, the F3 play-by-play announcer????  I think it would suit him well.

    Warmup

    20 SSH, BK, HK, WM, GM all IC

    Thang:

    we broke into two groups and alternated excercises across basketball court.

    group 1: plank, reverse plank, plankjack, burpees, hand release merkins, squats

    group 2: run the length of basketball court, line drills, lunge walks, bear crawls, run backwards, shuffle sideways.

    mosey to “workout equipment”

    pullups, hand release merkins, freak nasties.

    reverse “australian” pullups.

    Mary:

    FK, HD, Rosalitas, putins, feet to heaven, leg raises, LBCs, more FK, more putin.

    countarama, nameorama, thanks to the Bushhhhwacker for praying us out

    Thanks guys for making me a better man and getting off the the great start to the week.

     

     

  • Mastering the 8-Count

    Warm Up: Toe Touches, Good Mornings, Windmills, SSH’s, Toy Soldiers, Seal Jacks, Sister MK’s, all IC at or around 20x.

    The Thang:

    Mosey East towards the Lakefront playground, hitting a series of 8-count exercises at each cross street:

    1st 20x 8-Count Bodybuilders

    2nd 15x 8-Count Absolutions

    3rd 10x 8-Count Bodybuilders, 10x 8-Count Absolution

    So the F3 Nation website or – the more frequently visited – Grundy Audited Database (GAD for short) says that a wise Q will introduce the 8-count cadence for the exercise known as Absolution, but then “instruct the PAX to do the exercise OYO, lest he give the impression of weakness.”  Well, YHC has never been accused of being wise and this group of men has certainly already seen me act weak (ahem… the high-pitched squeal as Captain Sparkles emerges from the bushes), so… time to forget one’s pride and school the Q in mastering the 8-count!

    The thing is, the 8-count isn’t actually that difficult.  So really, this was more of an excuse to wreck the PAX early on, which seemed to have worked.  (At the very least, it wrecked this here Q.)

    A few 10-counts later, we arrived at the playground and split into partners for a little routine up the tallest “hill” in Old Mandeville.  These sort of rigorous elevation changes would be good training for those running the Blue Ridge Relay this fall.  Here’s what we did:

    P1 does squats, P2 run-walks (aka, lunge walks) up to the swingset pad and back.  Flapjack.

    P1 does merkins, P2 bear crawls up and back.  A little slippery this morning.

    P1 does lunges, P2 frog jumps up and back.

    And finally, P1 does Freak Nasties, P2 does an 80% sprint around the perimeter.

    A few more 10-counts sprinkled throughout, and we’re onward to the back of the baseball field, which had a lot of action for 0700.  Gearing up for an early morning game, the PAX got to watch some kids practice their swings, and also witness the slowest-ever flag raise while we planked up and one by one (or two by two, I suppose) hit the pull-up bars for 8 pull-ups.  The 2nd round was 4 pull ups, and the flag had still only made it to half mast.  Did a round of 25x IC Mountain Climbers, but still didn’t get to see that flag hit the top.  Oh well, can’t plank forever.  Time for an Indian Run back to the flag.

    T-Claps to Low Nays who overcame the strong urge to splash some merlot and made it back to the flag for some Mary: (all IC) Flutter Kicks x20, Leg Raises x 15, Putins x20, Jane Fondas/QuickPulses/Heel-to-Knees x20 each leg.

    Countdown, nameorama, announcements (Sign up for the Classic!  Sign up to Q!), and The Manny led us out in prayer.  Thank you guys for the push to be a better man, and for a truly great start to the weekend.

  • Solo I Roll-O

    I came

    I saw (no other PAX)

    I rolled

    On my own, I did the half route of 3.2 miles. Without the obscenely slow Shooter or Steve weighing me down, I was able to keep a respectable 8.17/minute mile pace. Crescent City Classic immortality, here I come!

    Ben Todd

    37

    Bush WACKA!

  • The Almighty EH

    With a 12 mile, obstacle-filled mud fest of a CSAUP awaiting the men of F3 saturday morning, this particular man knew a 4:45am 10k would not be high on his priorities. However, a simple “maybe-ish” text to one half of “The Northshore Core”, Shooter, was enough to stoke the irrepressible flames of the EH. Somehow, after just brief digital exchange, YHC found himself roped in as though he had signed up to Q himself rather than offering to cover for Captain Sparkles (Captain Sparkles =EiEi, but that’s a different backblast).

    With a chance groupme comment by the long lost Pelican offering similar intentions as I, YHC felt compelled to sic the EH master on him. SUCCESS! 3 sets of headlights ended up simultaneously rolling down Jackson St. to converge at the Cove.

    Today’s 10k was, indeed, and educational experience. So to recap, what did we learn?

    1. There’s no readily apparent excessive benefit to a Disney cruise over a non-Disney cruise.

    2. LBCs are a great way to break up the monotony of a long run.

    3. Though a man may keep mum about your over exaggeration of accomplishment, NEVER misrepresent that your HALF beat his WHOLE.

    4. Self-employment tax sucks!

    5. Shooter wins the gold medal for EH.

    6.Garfield can put the best of us to secret running shame.

    7. The Pelican is Japanese!

    8. Bushwacker suffers from Foot-In-Mouth disease.

    9. Small grown men drive small grown cars (but they sure are fun!)

    Class dismissed

  • Long Lost Pelican and the Ubiquitous Captain

    As the latest CSAUP is nigh upon us, 3 of the bold participants gathered in the frigid gloom to do what we do here in F3, for ourselves and for our brothers -get the heart rates up and micro-tear a little muscle. You see, the thing about obstacle races is that there’s a lot of running, but its broken up intermittently by various physical challenges. And so, in a mildly similar fashion we proceeded to scramble.

    After seeing the important-yet-forgotten dimension of fitness that Chewy has brought back with his recent Qs, I decided to start things off with some intentional ballistic stretching. Once we got going, the idea was that at random moments YHC would say STOP! and call out an OYO exercise for the PAX to knock out. The 1st instance was 25 merkins within the 1st block of our run. A couple of blocks later came 25 squats. Next was 10 burpees. With the power of the pied piper, I reversed the usual route, taking us to sunset point 1st. At the end of the pier we jumped on the benches for 25 calf raises. Our boisterous activity spooked a pelican perched on the rail, who found another section of rail closer to shore. The pelican may have gone away, but we knew he couldn’t STAY away (Where you at Pelican?)

    Now, YHC finds, and the PAX would certainly concur, that our F3 runs are enjoyable spans of time based , especially, on the the company of our F3 brothers. This morning that could not have been more true for the sudden and abruptly unexpected appearance of Captain Sparkles, who, dressed in his fisherman’s finest, jumped out from behind a bush with a loud AAAAGGGHH! as we cleared the end of the pier. While Shooter and I were certainly given a bit of a shock, poor Steve, who was closest to the perp,  barely escaped the experience with clean drawz LOL. A life-long fireman, Sparkles had to  flex his pranking muscles before he shoved of with Turtle and a group of guys making for an off-shore fishing trip.

    Having recovered our sensibilities, we stopped for 50 LBCs (DISCLAIMER: events may or may not have happened in the exact order YHC currently recalls). Upon exiting the sunset point gates, we took advantage of a 2 foot tall section of concrete to grab 25 incline merkins. Along the subdivision loop we knocked out 25 toes touches to stay at our peak of nimbleness. At some point Shooter’s off hand comment having something to do with “core” and “back” inspired 25 supermans. And finally, at Florida (Hwy 190) we dropped to the invitingly soft grass for 25 heal pulses (heals to heaven).

    After proper consideration, we decided to shut things down officially before moving on to anything else with COT: count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announce-o-ramma, and prayer-o-ramma (thank you Steve). I always enjoy my F3 beat downs, but there’s something appreciably special when I get to experience it with, what could arguably be considered the true core of the northshore, Steve and Shooter. Thank you gentlemen for following this pied piper’s little ditty in this star-filled gloom – the honor is all mine.

    AND THEN…

    LAGNIAPPE: 3 ISI participants can’t walk away without knocking out the challenge of the day. Specifically, 1 minute decline plank followed immediately by 1 minute of derkins….followed immediately by 3 strong, proud, adult fathers collapsed in heaps on the pine needle-covered ground. good times!