F3 New Orleans

Tag: Bushwacker

  • All Star Festivities (4 year anniversary) – from Russo

    Beautiful weather this morning topping out at 60 degrees. Flags came in quickly as Shooter and JV arrived early and off we went with the mumblechatter.

    Around 4 years ago, an offhand “You should join us” from Toto began my adventure with F3, so today I thought we’d honor those folks that have shaped our beatdowns and who continue to be positive role models for their friends, family, coworkers, and in their corner of the world. While certainly not the only ones, each of these men have had a favorable impact on my F3 experience and have helped me grow tremendously over he years, with plenty of room for more growth and learning to go. Despite objection, SmashMouth was NOT played.

    Warmup (mostly IC)
    – Sealjacks
    – Arm circles
    – Self love
    – Imperial squat walkers
    – Toe touches

    All Star recognition 1: Zoolander – the HIM most likely to EH someone (and then we never see them again) – Goofballs and then 5 knuckle merkins

    Thang
    All star Speedy – the Crazy Ivan Ringer – mosey to the gazebo

    All star recognition 3 and 4:
    Hammer: pushed me as hard mentally as I’ve ever been pushed by F3 with 1,000 burpees, and Grundy, whose cakewalk is the hardest non-Iron Pax I’ve ever been pushed – cakewalk of 5 merkins

    Mosey to the shaft for more All Star recognitions:

    WaterPik- King of Form: 10 8 count bodybuilders IC

    Moby: Leader of the chain gang – without his chain, we subbed with an Indian bear crawl

    Turbo: the Godfather – mosey back to the flag, teams of 3, passing the tennis balls (NOT golf balls). If the ball hits the ground, team performs 3 merkins (in honor of All Star Akbar: Mr. Merkin Trap). Many T claps to Wicket and JV for being in sync all the way, and leading like they’ve been QBs and/or WRs all their lives.

    On the wall, we honor All Star Bushwacker: King of the impromptu Q: 10 IC freak nastys and 10 durkins, rinse and repeat. We skipped the additional 15 rounds he made us do one week.

    Move to All Star Barely Legal: Who knew his crab walk skills? Crab walk to the street and back to the wall. Bird, I hope your hands are ok.

    Mosey around Noah’s Ark where we honored All Star Jose 10k: most Supportive, Mr. Will Do Anything Another Brother Asks, always one of the first to join in, NOT Mr. Grumble, who “won” White Elephant 2021, by doing cherry pickers while moseying.

    At the block, we stopped to honor All Star Cowbell, Prince of Punctuality: 25 crunchy frogs (just enough for Jose to note “He’s waiting for everyone to just stop”)

    Back at the sea wall, we honored (1) All Star Steve: Most likely to outwork you and smile the entire time: 5 Kraken burpees

    and then (2) All Star Shooter: Most 6 pickups (at least when I was 6): 10 donkey kicks, where MVP was Bird and his handstand yoga walk

    followed by (3) the Futures portion: the 2.0s

    – Pickax
    – Wicket
    – FNG Wookie!
    – Yoda
    – Pixie stick
    – Hazard
    – Chainsaw
    – Gilligan
    – Minnow
    – Bear
    – Trakbar
    – Grover (Welcome back!)
    – Machete

    In their honor we performed 26 Smurfjacks IC (13 x 2.0)

    Moving over to Rip’s, we paused for the In Memorium portion of the festivities, up the steps and back down to honor those that we hope rejoin us one day, including but not limited to:
    – Bypass
    – Butt paste
    – Mick
    – Stock boy
    – Coconuts
    – Amnesia
    – Bends
    – Slider
    – Toto
    – Ocho
    – Pelican
    – Pea shooter
    – Swoll patrol

    Back at the sea wall, it was my pleasure to honor All Star Manny: Encouragement personified, the first to tell me “Just keep coming” – 10 LMCs IC

    Quickly running out of time, we wrapped up with our final All Star: Maverick: the Music Man, who makes me hate Roxanne to this day. Performed to “She’s so Cold” by The Rolling Stones, high knees, with a squat every time you hear “hot” or “cold”.

    Mosey back to the flag where COT, count, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Announcements about NOLA convergence next week, Bushwacker’s camping trip and wife’s birthday party, upcoming potential Halloween beatdown on Sunday 10/30, among others. Check Slack for more info.

    Special welcome to Wookie, Chewy’s 2.0 and our newest HIM.

    One final note: as each year passes, I remember less and less of that first October post back in 2018: pre-COVID, pre-Joe Burrow becoming Joe Burrow, pre- many of our newest brothers, 10 pounds lighter.

    I remember I was late, Buttsplice had Q, we did some yoga. But I’ll never forget feeling sore for at least 3.5 days after, and loving it. Doing something different. Outside with no weights.

    Not wanting to make that same mistake, lest I be judged, I was about 20 minutes early, either the next week or the week following that, and made the mistake of being TOO early, to where I joined the pre-Thang run and after about 40 yards, thought “This was a mistake”.

    But then either Tank or Shooter picked me up as the 6 (details aren’t important, because both have done it repeatedly and offered encouragement). Having started off on the wrong foot, not one but twice, would have normally sent me packing and wishing the group the best in future endeavors. But the encouragement sparked me. That kept me coming back.

    I said it last year, and the statement holds true: Because of what we do, and what our mission is, our reach extends beyond losing a few pounds, getting bigger arms for the gun shows, or finding our abdominal muscles again. If we’re doing it right, we’re improving confidence in those around us, encouraging each other to be impactful in our commmunity, and exemplifying Christ’s disciples in our words and actions. My prayer is that we keep doing that. Whatever “that” is, keep doing it. We’re doing something right.

    That’s my goal, and even if I fall short, I know I’ll have another opportunity to do it soon enough.

    Thank you for making that commitment and for all that you do. SYITG

  • IPC Week 3 – Mrs. Burns – from Akbar

    Saturday, what a great day. YHC hasn’t really thought about it lately, but it’s true. As Wicket told me after Coffeeteria – On Saturdays I get to go to F3, wear my gym shorts all day, play with friends, don’t have to do school, and eat donuts and pancakes. That’s good, and so was the beatdown.

    YHC and Wicket arrived early to set up, seeing Pik and Speedy for the pre-thang 2miler. Circle up for the flag just in time to hear loud crying – Hammer brought Machete out for a beatdown. Machete cried pretty much the whole time, until we started the warmup. The cadence call was like a lullaby for the young man.

    Everyone arrived and we started out with warm ups x 10 IC, except for 1 exercise that was x9IC. SSH, arm circles front/back, imperial walkers, hillbillies, high knees, butt Kicks, self-love, toe touches, and grass grabbers.

    Grab blocks, head to the tree/start line and instructions were given.

    Week 3 was called Mrs. Burns, doing 571 reps to honor Kathleen Walzer and her fight with pancreatic cancer for 571 days.

    5 Rounds + one extra 400m run at the end. 571 reps for time

    20 Overhead Presses

    20 Burpees

    20 Curls

    20 V Ups

    20 Goblet Squats

    13 Manmakers

    400m run

    Grundy, Tank, and Steve were out of the gate fast. Wicket did some stuff, then put on my shades and decided to DJ for a while – then got back to work. This was brutal. The workout pretty much took everything out of you making the run harder. So instead of making up time on the run, it was more recovery. Halfway through a guy joined us that was unrecognizable, and I thought we may have another Fly By EH. But it turned out to be Gronk who we haven’t seen in a couple of years. Great to have you back man.

    T Claps to the top unofficial finishers, meaning the guys sitting on the wall while everyone else was still working hard. Grundy, Tanked Up, Steve, and Hammer

    Time called, with a short rest in the grass. A brief glimpse of Jose 10k holding Hammers legs over the seawall. YHC figured Machete had dropped a baby toy in the water. Hammer waded in the murky water to retrieve only his hat. Which is much better than dropping a toy.

    Head back to the flag just in time for Count and Nameorama.

    YHC closed us out with this prayer – which was said each day the Kathleen Welzer had pancreatic cancer:

    “Lord, we thank you for this day. A day we get to choose. We get to choose between darkness or light. Today, we choose light. Amen”

    Coffeeteria at Book and the Bean:

    Great work today guys, way to push hard and get it done. 1 more week and IPC is in the books.

    SYITG – Akbar

  • Split Q (IronPax and Cakewalk) – from Russo

    78 degrees to start today, and looking for any reason for positive weather news, (1) there was no rain and (2) it was slightly less humid than it has been. Really good start to the morning for a split Q of IPC week 0 and a birthday cakewalk.

    Warmup (between 10x and 14x, all IC)

    -Toe touches
    -Arm circles
    -Self love
    -Cherry pickers
    -Grass grabbers

    Thang: while Zoolander took half the pax to the west for IPC, YHC led a cakewalk (trademark to either Grundy or Zoolander), your basic descending ladder of exercises and reps, starting at YHC’s age (in this case, 44) and work your way to 1, with some moseying in between around Old Mandeville/Lakefront.

    The order:

    44 High knees (2 is 1, which YHC forgot right off the bat and thought “count by 2”, so thanks to Jose for keeping me honest. Math is hard)
    43 SSHs
    42 Plank Jacks
    41 goof balls
    40 squats
    39 Hello Dollies
    38 Calf raises
    37 Apollo Ohno’s
    36 Freak Nastys (correctly guessed by JV Raider Pride!)
    35 step ups (also correctly guessed by the Pax)
    34 flutter kicks
    33 butt kicks (2 is 1) (lead IC by the entire pax rotating, very nice job, gents!)
    32 Peter Parker’s (2 is 1)
    31 imperial walkers
    30 Shoulder taps (2 is 1)
    29 American hammers
    28 Monkey Humpers (Happy Birthday JV!)
    27 Merkins
    26 Smurf jacks (where we were joined by Ms. Cute Young Jogger, who either (1) felt bad for the old guys struggling to mosey and catch their breath, (2) knew it was JV’s birthday and wanted to give him an early birthday present, (3) was on a runner’s high and wanted to be friendly on a Saturday morning, or (4) some combo of all of the above)
    25 leg raises
    24 Rosalitas
    23 crab jacks (crab position – think reverse plank jacks, which Moby was having none of)
    22 groiners
    21 Bear crawls (counting your right hand as a rep)
    20 murder bunnies
    19 Wide merkins
    18 Bobby Hurley’s
    17 crab cakes
    16 circle ups
    15 Bulgarian split squats
    14 durkins
    13 big boy sit-ups
    12 LMCs IC
    11 diamond merkins
    10 star jumps
    9 donkey kicks (an ode to Shooter)
    8 wife pleasers
    7 merkins
    6 6 inch drills
    5 Carolina dry docks
    4 SMCs (2 is 1)
    3 jump squats
    2 burpees
    1 minute plank

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Thank you, gents, for either joining me or pushing yourself hard with IronPax. And a larger thanks to each of you for not only pushing me harder, making me better through your example, and providing friendship for 4 of my 44 years, but for being a light in your families, work, and communities.

    SYITG

  • The Incredible Weight of Zero* – from Steve

    Week 0. Meaningless. Inconsequential. Akin to a preseason Saints game with Ian Book in for all four quarters. A mere hors d’oevres for the real deal, which starts next week. A warm up, really.

    I’m sure the seven pax that posted – most of them blithely unaware of what was to go down this morning (despite the leak on slack) – would agree with this. I am sure they would not have preferred to do the simple four corners mosey down to the lakefront and back that YHC had originally planned. I mean, these Greenwood guys gently ramp up the Iron Pax challenges each week anyway, right?

    Ugggghhh… let’s hope not. The Fat Coe Sandwich, as this beatdown is called, is a brutal joke for a week zero beatdown. It consisted of:

    – 20x Squat Thrusters w/ coupon, 20x merkins. Rinse and repeat 5x.

    – Bear crawl 100 feet, burpee broad jump back (3x burpees, 5x jumps). Rinse and repeat 3x.

    – 20x Squat Thrusters w/ coupon, 20x merkins. Rinse and repeat 5x.

    Woof. That’s rough. For a Monday morning, that’s real rough. And for a Monday morning where you ran a few miles from your home to the Marsh, well, that’s just plain mean. (As always, t-claps to Hammer and Waterpik.)

    Luckily we had Bacchus, a Southshore transplant that Quarterpipe EH’d the night before, post and inspire us with his incredible athleticism. For a guy that hadn’t posted in two years (I believe?), this guy was unbelievable. I mean, if I hadn’t proctored the event myself, I probably wouldn’t have believed it.

    To see him go toe to toe with Bushwacker, the man whose bear crawl is as fast as my running, was just incredible. While Bush still had the edge on the crawls, Bacchus’ broad jumps were something to behold. Eventually he just outpaced us all, by a long shot. And it wasn’t just the endurance and speed, he was slinging those cinderblocks like they were nothing. It’s like Grundy, Tank, and Cowbell somehow had an incredibly tall child together.

    YHC cannot recall the times – I know Bacchus was in the 18 min range (almost 19 mins) and Bush was in the 21 min range, and everyone else was 25 mins and beyond.

    Incredible job, everyone. To get out there on a Monday morning and complete this challenge – or even attempt it – is incredibly inspiring. T-claps to Akbar, who prodded me to run with this instead of something easy. And t-claps to Bacchus, of course, for his first Northshore post and a memorable one at that.

    And hey, as it sounds like Week Zero could ultimately provide an edge in the case of a tie breaker, well, this month’s contest – on the Northshore at least – could conceivably already be in the books.

  • 1-2-3 Go! – from Russo

    Surprise surprise it was hot and humid this morning for a pax of 5.

    Warmup (10x – 16x, all IC)
    – Sealjacks
    – Self love
    – Toe touches
    – Hillbillies
    – Good mornings
    – High knees

    Thang

    1-2-3 GO! (Exercise one, move up a column, exercise two, move up a column, exercise 3…), then up, around, and back down the pilot house)

    Rounds 1 and 2: Absolution

    1 groiner
    2 Mahktar N’dyiae’s
    3 chill jacks

    Round 3 and 4: 8 count body builders

    1 half burpee (ignoring the merkin)
    2 burpees
    3 plank jacks

    Rounds 5 and 6: Front and Back
    1 Crab cake
    2 Parker Peters
    3 Big boi sit-ups

    Round 7: Prey to Predator
    Crab walk one column
    Duck walk two columns
    Bear crawl three columns

    Rounds 8 and 9: Famous People
    1 Kneel Diamond / 1 Apollo Ohno
    2 SMCs
    3 Bobby Hurley’s

    No time for Mary today. COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer to close us out. Reminder that Hammer’s Bible study (this Wednesday) and the September 11 5k (on 9/10) are both quickly approaching. Check Slack for more info.

    Thanks for joining. SYITG

  • Independence Day After – from Russo

    This sounds like a broken record these days, but it was 78 degrees and HUMID at Granny’s this morning. What was new(ish) was the return of Cowbell (dare I say on time?), fresh off an amazing stretch of wedding/ national title / honeymoon, a Bird sighting, Bushwhacker and what has become his trusty walkie, and Akbar. They joined “regulars” Hammer, Steve, and YHC to close out Independence Day weekend in style with a 1776 themed beatdown. Doing a quick count of fingers, pax of 7 appeared to have all digits accounted for, so amateur firework festivities seemed to have gone well.

    Warmup (all 10x-20x IC)
    – seal jacks
    – cherry pickers
    – arm circles
    – grass grabbers
    – windmills
    – toe touches
    – imperial walkers

    Thang
    Varying exercises around the number 1776, with a mosey / back pedal / side shuffle jaunt sprinkled between every two rounds or so.

    1 8 count body builder
    7 wide merkins
    7 diamond merkins
    6 burpees

    17 merkins
    76 plank jacks

    17 jump squats
    76 shoulder taps (1 is 1)

    17 monkey humpers
    76 high knees (1 is 1)

    17 freak nastys
    76 calf raises

    17 durkins
    76 squats

    17 groiners
    76 SSHs

    17 urkins
    7/6 Bulgarian split squats
    7/6 step ups

    17 side squats (2 is 1)
    76 butt kicks

    Betsy Ross (Mary)
    17 leg raises
    76 flutter kicks (1 is 1)

    17 big boy sit-ups
    76 American hammers

    17 box cutters
    7 hello Dolly’s
    6 Rosalitas

    17 crunchy frogs
    76 SSHs

    COT, Name-o-Rama, announcements, and prayer closed us out. Reminder that the Grarly Nutria (July 20) and St. Vincent 500 (August 13) are both quickly approaching. Check Slack for more info.

    Generally speaking, we take a lot of freedoms and blessings for granted, at least I know that I do. It’s easy to be distracted and go about our daily lives with its worries and chores and tasks and not take a minute to give thanks. On July 4th, I’m reminded of just how blessed I am to live in a country where, despite its flaws and fights, disagreements and ideologies, we are allowed to practice freedoms and have rights that others do not have. My challenge to all of us is that we take a minute to give thanks, reflect on how we’re blessed, and then go out and use that to provide good things for those around us.

    I appreciate each of you joining, pushing me to work harder and make myself better, and look forward to doing it again.

    Checking the notes from the pre-blast:
    1 – Minimal burpees (6, 7 if you count an 8 count bodybuilder): check!

    2 – minimal moseying, staying close to home base: check!

    3 – sweat: check!

    4 – math: check!

    5 – bats: check! (Although I only briefly caught a glimpse on the stage as we were moseying, no attacks noted)

    SYITG

  • “I’m Cosmo!” – from Shooter

    https://youtube.com/playlist?list=RDCMUCKv01ZGOJhp2HbtDe4EvS8A&playnext=1

    4 PAX joined YHC for his returned Q at the Scramble on a heavy humid gloom… As we started to warmup, visions of headlights excited Hammer how perfect it must be for Cowbell to time it so precisely to show up at 0516… Only this time he was wrong in his assessments as the PAX shouted its Wacker or shall we say the new “I’m Cosmo.” Check out the link above to understand and feel free to ask Waterpik, Steve or myself for clarity..

    Warmup
    15IC Torso twists, Toe Touches, Abe Vogadas and squats followed by Cowbell traditional leg swings front/back and left/right to 10 OYO..

    Ran down to Messina hooked a left on Monroe to West Beach then a right down to the lakefront and to the street right past the bridge taking a left back up to Monroe returning to the AO with 2 mins to spare for a plank hold..

    Appreciate being back at out with my F3 brethren and if interested meet me Tomorrow for a pre Fourth of July beatdown at the A1c..

    Thanks to Hammer for praying us out and until the next Gloom!! 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Fire Fighter Challenge Part Deux – from Bushwacker

    I feel I’ve been so delinquent in my commitment to F3 lately and it showed as I tried to start the warmorama. IMHO (as the kids put it), that delinquency continued right on through the beat down with my unorganized leadership, chaotic participation, and off-the-cuff modifications. But YHC brought the coupons, set the games in motion, and we all watched with little surprise as the former Marsh Madness champion and current King of Distain quite literally ran away with the Badaxe award this go ’round. Nonetheless, all men (regardless of age) put forth an effort most valiant indeed!

    WARMORAMA
    As previously mentioned, QIC felt entirely out of practice, forgetting exercise names, miscalling cadences, and generally flubbing my return. But PAX kept showing up until the ranks grew to a respectable number. Even after out our mosey to the shaft, Grundy popped up to fiddle around with our tires.

    THANG
    Farmer’s Carry
    Sledge Hammer Tire
    Tire Flip
    Tire Pull
    Prisoner’s Carry
    Tire Drag
    Chain of Doom
    Lunge Walk

    Teams of 2-3 did 3 1 minute rounds switching between the coupon and plank or al gore. We kept this up until, with 5 minutes remaining, the 4 bad asses competing for the Badaxe award ran the tire drag for time. As previously mentioned, our own reverend pastor preacher man took home the prize… until next time!

    COT
    On the spot we carried out count/nameorama, with zoo having departed prematurely. I appreciate you guys. I cherish my time with you guys. Many many thanks!

  • The MURPH – from Jose10k

    It was simple: 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, and 2 miles. We had split off into different groups of different levels, but in the end it was 14 of my F3 brothers completing the Murph this morning. COT, Hammer prayed us out with special intentions for TruCoats friend and Zoolanders father.

  • Old reliable – from Russo

    70 degrees and humid this morning for a group of 6 to conquer the semi-regular (when I have put less thought into Q than I’d like) deck of death. Old reliable was supposed to be the deck, but it also meant:

    – JV and Cowbell continuing their verbal sparring / encouragement
    – Hammer coming up with yet another brilliant analogy
    – Sweat angels from YHC that confounds Bushwhacker

    Warmup – all IC 10x -20x

    – Sealjacks
    – Arm circles
    – Toe touches
    – Grass grabbers
    – High knees

    Thang – Deck of Death (count and exercise based on card turned over)

    Split the deck into 3 groups for rounds. Rounds included:
    Spades – Wide merkins
    Clubs – crab cakes
    Diamonds – jump squats
    Hearts – circle ups

    Spades – shoulder tap merkins
    Clubs – calf raises (2 is 1)
    Diamonds – SMCs
    Hearts – Crunchy frogs

    Spades – Freak nastys
    Clubs – Monkey Humpers
    Diamonds – side squats (2 is 1)
    Hearts – box cutters / Cowbell Saturday Night Special (size of boxes varied)

    Mary (with bonus definition of Mary for the Pax from Bushwhacker):

    – 20 freak nastys
    – 20 shoulder tap plank jacks
    – American hammers 10 IC
    – Wife pleasers 20 IC
    – Gas pumps 10 IC
    – Hello Dollie’s 10 IC
    – 10 donkey kicks (what’s up Shooter?!?!)

    COT, name-o-rama, announcements and prayer closed us out. Special intention for those traveling.

    MVP to JV for accepting constructive criticism and encouragement from Cowbell with grace and style.

    Thanks for joining, gents, and yet ANOTHER all star krewe this week.