F3 New Orleans

Tag: Bushwacker

  • 75 Is the New 20 OR 4 Is More, But Ocho Is Great – from Bushwacker

    15 minutes early, YHC was greeted by a chilly last respite from what we down south all know is coming, as well as the remnants of the full moon 4 days back. Since Jose was likely at that moment sleeping the sleep of the over-imbibed and sexually satiated, and not pre-thanging the lonely streets of downtown Covington, the maroon-hooded miscreant moseyed a preview of the route along which the beatdown would lead. Upon returning, Wacker may have made his Cuz slightly uneasy calling out some sort of nonsense from afar without properly identifying himself. Legal had also arrived to greet the gloom. And when Moby approached from YHC’s 6, the sudden recognition of the hoodie caused a cuss to escape his lips, knowing he had already passed the point of no return.

    WARMORAMA

    IC x10:
    SSH, Cherry Pickers, IWs, (When what to Wacker’s wondering eyes should appear, but a grey pick up truck and Ocho wandering near!) Torso Twists, Butt Kicks, Windmills, Dancing Bears, Scorpion Kicks

    THANG

    Mosied to the flag pole at the School Board where we circled up and did x 100;
    AL Gore/JumpSquats
    Plank/Merkins
    Up/Downs (Tenacious as hell and giving everything he had, Moby was slow to get down and even slower to get up)

    Mosied to the Court House where , in similar fashion Freak Nasty Up/Downs (think plank/Merkin except a Freak Nasty) x100
    Next PAX do continuous Step Ups as each man runs to the stairs, Bunny Hops up, then returns in a Sprint. Finally, alternating as needed between lunges and squats while each man runs to the ramp, Bear Crawls up and runs back. At this point you may have expected Moby to be gasping his last, but check yourself, Boyo, because this Diamond-Studded Septuagenarian was kicking ass and chewing bubbble gum (except he was all out of bubble gum!) He lead the pack as we mosied back to the flag for …

    MARY

    Similarly to our first 4 sets of exercises, we were on our sixes with hands and feet elevated, counting to 50 reps of individual V Ups, followed by Supermans in the same tune. 25 IC Hammers, Flutter Kicks, and E2Ks (25L/25R) to wrap things up.

    COT

    Count/ Name/ Ocho prayed us out. 2nd EVER F2 Extravaganza! 5/10, prayers for our own Frank the Tank as he prepares to embark on his foray into the Boston Marathon this Monday.
    To quote Andy Stitzer, “Is it true that if you don’t use it you lose it?” Yes Andy, it is. But at F3 Northshore’s Retirement Village, they clearly still know how to use it, because they haven’t lost a step! And, you know, that fact will help YHC sleepp a little better tonight,

    SYITG

  • 4-Mile Mayhem – from Shooter

    This is nowhere near as epic as the previous one, but we did our best with less time. I hope you all enjoy:

    The sun had barely risen when Shooter, smelling faintly of gunpowder and deer pee, rallied the troops for a 4-mile run through the suburban wilderness. Clad in camo shorts and suspicious confidence, he declared, “If we see a squirrel, it’s dinner.”

    Waterpik, always fresh from a fluoride rinse and reeking of peppermint, warned everyone to floss or die. He spent most of the run critiquing everyone’s gum health between wheezes.

    Bushwacker tried to take a shortcut through some hedges, screaming “I’m one with the landscape!” before tripping over a sprinkler head and performing a full scissor-kick dismount into someone’s rosebush. Nature: 1, Bushwacker: bloodied. It’s not the first time we has scissoring during a beatdown in Mandeville

    Hammer, the group’s legal eagle, spent the entire run drafting a class-action lawsuit against cardio. He cited mental anguish, chafing, and unsolicited motivational phrases as grounds for litigation. He began quoting 80s legal dramas, which most of us could not recall. We simply pleaded the 5th.

    Ballz Deep, who insists tennis counts as both cardio and therapy, ran in short shorts and a headband, aggressively grunting with every step like he was serving at Wimbledon. People stared. Children cried. He never broke pace.

    Then came Jose10k, part educator, part miracle worker, and fully out of place among this testosterone-fueled chaos. He delivered inspirational quotes mid-stride and tried to turn the run into a teachable moment. Unfortunately, nobody passed his pop quiz on “Proper Pacing and You.” So he decided to Ruck. He was going to quote Dangerous Minds while listening to Coolio, just to change up his play list to appease Cowbell.

    They finished the 4 miles sweaty, slightly broken, and somehow closer than ever. No records were broken, but egos certainly were. One thing’s for sure: adult fitness looks less like a Nike ad and more like a comedy sketch filmed in slow motion.

    Same time next week? God help us.

  • Workout Review: Grandmas House, The Marsh of Madness Rated R for Ridiculousness, Regret, and Rampant Burpee Abuse. An movie inspired back blast for a resident film editor: Steve – from Steve

    This morning’s workout was led by none other than Steve, a man with the calm demeanor of a yoga instructor and the workout intensity of a caffeinated Navy SEAL. Spirits were high, the weather was decent, and then—it happened. Frank opened his mouth.
    STARRING

    Steve as The Relentless Commander
    Fitness guru? Torture artist? Hard to say. Wears a watch that doesn’t tell time—it tells reps.

    Frank as The Unfiltered Oracle. He was the reason we couldn’t keep cadence
    Speaks only in political hot takes May or may not be sponsored by FoxNews.

    Shooter as The Deer Whisperer
    Disappears in the woods, can camp out with just a tarp and a stick. If the emp hits us, the only one of us who could survive because he know how to purify his own urine.

    Russo as The Conspiracy Theorist
    Chem trails, JFK assassination, Bigfoot, he knows all of the worlds secrets. Keeps a personal vendetta against half-reps.

    Jose10k as The Distance Demon
    Runs 10K before the workout just to feel warm. Laughs at burpees because he rely does them. Rumored to have an actual sponsorship from Advil.

    What followed was less a fitness session and more a live taping of a political stand-up special. The laughter was so violent, we couldn’t keep cadence or count. Hell, at one point I think someone tried to do a jumping jack and just fell over laughing. It was chaos. Steve tried to restore order like a desperate substitute teacher, but the image of Frank talking politics and Trump had the floor—and the filibuster.

    Eventually, we moseyed to the marsh, where Steve unveiled his twisted plan. Every stop sign became a mini-Hell: 5 Kraken burpees , 10 Sister Mary Catherines 10 and gas pumps
    Now Steve claimed it was “only 5 Kraken burpees,” but time warped. I aged. I saw my ancestors. I met a raccoon who offered me a cigarette and said, “You don’t wanna go back in there.”

    Sadly (or perhaps wisely), I had to leave early. But here’s how I imagine it played out after my escape:

    Final Act: “Marshageddon”

    Steve, shirtless and shimmering with sweat like a demigod forged in pre-workout, leads the group deeper into the foggy marsh. Frank, in spirit form, still monologuing about the federal reserve, is doing bear crawls backward while reciting Reagan speeches.

    Suddenly, Steve bellows, “MERMAN DRILLS!” Everyone dives into a stagnant puddle. Two men don’t resurface. Gas pumps evolve into explosive gas pump combos. Sister Mary descends from the heavens with a kettlebell and blesses the pain.

    The final challenge? Shooter pulling his Fit out of the marsh using only resistance bands and pure arm strength.

    They return to the parking lot mud-soaked, spiritually broken, and somehow stronger. No one speaks. They simply nod, silently agreeing to never speak of this morning again.

    10/10.
    Would recommend to people I hate.
    Bring a towel, a therapist, and maybe a priest.

    After COT, there is a post credit scene.
    [POST-CREDITS SCENE: “Marsh of Madness” – The Swamp Strikes Again]

    Fade in: eerie silence. Fog hangs low over the marsh. A single stop sign stands crooked, half-submerged in murky water.

    [Camera pans slowly…]

    A lone figure appears in the distance… it’s Frank, shirtless, wearing compression shorts and Crocs. He’s holding a whiteboard and a megaphone.

    Frank (yelling into the void):
    “Let’s talk about the real reason burpees were invented—government control!”

    The marsh ripples. Something stirs beneath the surface.

    [Suddenly, bubbles rise… a Kraken tentacle shoots up, slapping the whiteboard out of his hands.]

    Frank (unfazed):
    “Oh, you’ve been listening to the mainstream media workout plans, haven’t you?”

  • Well, that was unexpected!! – from Shooter

    With Bushwacker calling out YHC a few days prior, the anxiety of what to bring and complete ranged in scope. Shall I have the PAX complete the normal routine, perhaps a follow the leader or maybe just make it up as we go. The latter prevailed and with the help of a cylinder block, ruck plate and the golden dice we made the best of it..
    Brief warmup 10-15 IC Imperial walkers, Cherry Pickers, Torso twists, good mornings, Hillbillies and SSH. Loop around the block.

    Thang
    Stations R1
    Bear crawl
    Squat thrusters
    Kettle swings
    Burpee broad jumps
    Lunges
    Once all PAX through the round, moseyed loop.
    R2
    Overhead press
    Curls
    Carioca
    Bunny hops
    Crawl Bear
    Loop around adding 10Merkins at each corner.
    R3
    Big boys with block
    American hammers with plate
    Backward suicides
    25% half court 50% full court

    Finished with count, announce of Mobys 75th birthday Q Friday at A1c, Trucoats 50th on Sunday and F2 Extravaganza on May 10th hosted by Barely Legal..

    Hoping all received their moneys worth and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Well, that was unexpected!! – from Shooter

    With Bushwacker calling out YHC a few days prior, the anxiety of what to bring and complete ranged in scope. Shall I have the PAX complete the normal routine, perhaps a follow the leader or maybe just make it up as we go. The latter prevailed and with the help of a cylinder block, ruck plate and the golden dice we made the best of it..
    Brief warmup 10-15 IC Imperial walkers, Cherry Pickers, Torso twists, good mornings, Hillbillies and SSH. Loop around the block.

    Thang
    Stations R1
    Bear crawl
    Squat thrusters
    Kettle swings
    Burpee broad jumps
    Lunges
    Once all PAX through the round, moseyed loop.
    R2
    Overhead press
    Curls
    Carioca
    Bunny hops
    Crawl Bear
    Loop around adding 10Merkins at each corner.
    R3
    Big boys with block
    American hammers with plate
    Backward suicides
    25% half court 50% full court

    Finished with count, announce of Mobys 75th birthday Q Friday at A1c, Trucoats 50th on Sunday and F2 Extravaganza on May 10th hosted by Barely Legal..

    Hoping all received their moneys worth and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • April 1,000 2025 – from Grundy

    Scratch sound followed by the following message…

    “We did 1,000 reps combined of burpees and Bobby Hurleys. We also moved weights in a bucket and a cinder block.”

    … We now return you to your show already in progress.

  • April Fool’s Workout: The Legend of Grundy and the Bucket of Doom – from Grundy

    This morning, the sun rose on an unsuspecting group of warriors, ready for another classic April Fool’s workout. Grundy, our fearless leader, arrived with Jose Russo Bushwacker Shooter, who may or may not be a real person but certainly sounded like a guy who meant business. We all chuckled, debating whether we should start with a solid 30 minutes of warm-ups or just dive into the rich history of pranks from workouts past. But no—Grundy was in no mood for jokes today. He had a bucket full of stones and a soul full of vengeance.

    The madness began immediately. One unlucky soul had to carry the Bucket of Doom all the way to the stage, where they were rewarded with 10 burpees—a true sign that life is unfair—before running it back to the group. Meanwhile, the rest of us embraced the suffering with burpees, because why not add to the chaos with a running cumulative total? Once the poor fool with the bucket survived, we transitioned to our next task: carrying the Block of Destiny up and down the stairs, a shuttle run from Hades itself.

    But wait—there’s more. We then formed a circle to partake in what can only be described as the most ridiculous exercise ever invented. Each of us paraded our blocks down the corridor with the grace of a newborn giraffe, before planking and sliding our coupon back like we were human curling stones.

    Then, things got weird. Dragons descended from the heavens. Fire-breathing lizards engaged in aerial combat. Grundy, now completely unhinged, lifted 400 blocks with a single pinky while cackling like a supervillain. Burpees and squats continued as monstrous creatures clashed in an epic battle of strength and agility.

    And just when it seemed like things couldn’t get any wilder…

    Oh wait. April Fool’s.

    But seriously, we’re all sore now.

    Come out to the A1C on April 11th for Moby’s Birthday Q. He’s turning 75!!

  • F3 A to Z – from Bushwacker

    It’s a rare thing that seems to happen just a hand full of times a year, and when it happens it makes me envy my future self. That thing is the opportunity to visit F3 Northshore’s own Retirement Village in downtown Covington, also known as the Gipper.
    So YHC figured he ought to throw down an equally, if not more, rare beatdown to the the PAX that make a 44 and 46 year old, respectively, the “kiddos” of the AO…

    WARMORAMA

    In the interest of time Q kept it short and sweet and covered all the basics:
    All IC x10:
    Torso Twists
    Self Love
    Hi Knees
    Butt Kicks

    THANG

    The rep counts varied, as did IC vs OYO, but here’s a complete list of the exercises grumblingly (new and appropriate adverb) completed by the assemblage of PAX with the combined “experience” of more than 340 years:

    Absolution
    Big Boy Sit Ups
    Cut-a-Flip
    Dying Cockroach
    E2K
    Freddy Mercurys
    Guantanamo
    Hundreds
    Indian Crab Walk(missed you Legal!)
    Jackees
    Killer B’s
    LLCoolJs
    Monkey Humpers
    Never Cross Dolly
    Obamas (Tanks’s favorite!)
    People’s Air Press
    Quixote (new exercise)
    Rochamburpees
    SSH
    T Merkins
    Upstraddle Hop
    Van Godas
    Werkins
    XYs
    Yurpees
    Zombie Crunches

    And so you see, from A to Z the PAX put in the work. Though grumbles did bely the fact that some of them did hurt. But certainly you’ve heard it said “no pain, no gain”, it’s true. So post tomorrow, if you dare, cause Wacker’s got that Q too!

    SYITG

  • This ain’t bedroom Yoga! – from Shooter

    With darkness all around and the glistening of a full moon for illumination 5 PAX embraced the Gloom at Grannies. Steve, Russo and YHC chatted it up until Jose10k appeared out of the darkness. Behold it’s a right on time Cowbell? Nope, it’s the Wacker of bushes hooded up as he grumbles his way to the circle.. Chatter quickly shifted to the adjustments of springing forward and how us 40 somethings sleep patterns range from dream Yoga, to it won’t be long until we will have separate rooms with our significant others. Which ever the case may be, today would be a bit of a throwback to our tunnel of love that is often forgotten.

    Brief warmup of torso twists, arm circles, Cherry pickers, grass grabbers, Abe vogodas and toe touches.. Some of the numbers IC varied with Chatter overtaking the counts.

    Moseyed to the tunnel and selected two boulders from the drainage area of sorts with an alternative rock that Steve graciously found.
    We partnered up
    P1 completed reps with coupon while P2 utilized the tunnel.

    First round
    Chest press(boulders) mosey down Carioca the flat and Mosey up. R/R back and F/J
    Second round
    Overhead press (rock) & 8 count bodybuilder
    Mosey down/lunge walk flat and reverse. F/J
    Third round
    Squats (rock) & Mountain climbers
    25% mosey down, 50% flat and 100% up. R/R F/J

    Once completed moseyed our return to the bus stop for 10IC bench jump overs, 10IC leg raises breaking plane on the benches, inspired by Russo’s handstand demonstration months back challenging Bird YHC used the columns for a balls to the wall hold rounded out with 5 donkey kickoffs.

    Returned to the circle for some Mary.
    ETKs, LBCs, penguins, plank, chill-cut plank and wife pleasers.

    Counted off, announced Wacker camp out 3/22 and upcoming Zoolander Marsh madness, Inferno and Zoorich classic..

    Appreciate the post and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!

  • Foggy on the Escalator – from Russo

    I realize this may be late in at least one or two people’s eyes, but we can’t all be superstars.

    Warmup (10x IC)
    Seal jacks
    Grass grabbers
    SSHs
    Arm circles
    Torso twists
    Imperial walkers

    Thang

    I tried to make at least half of the beatdown mosey-related for the RCR folks, so we did just that: moseyed around old Mandeville, stopping on average every block or two to perform reps of 10 exercises in what I call an “Escalator”, or as Chewy rightly called it: “Sudoku”. Exercise 1 gets 10 reps, Exercise 2 gets 9 reps, down to one. Next round, Exercise 1 gets 1 rep, 2 gets 10, R&R until as Steve was first to chime each will get 55 reps for a total of 550 movements. Math!

    The exercises:
    Shoulder tap plank jacks
    Star jumps
    Merkins
    Burpees
    Jump squats
    Murder bunnies
    American hammers
    Crunchy frogs
    Donkey kicks
    Imperial squat walkers

    The weather: Foggy! As thick as I’ve seen this year (39 days in). This, humid so sweat was a plenty. Around 64 degrees to start, so within the 3.7 degree window that Quarterpipe will join us in.

    The music: Not Jose’s

    We timed it well enough that there was no Mary, so COT, NOR, announcements, and prayer closed us out.

    Coffee afterward, which is apparently a thing and I may or may not have needed a special engraved invitation for.

    Thank you all for joining and making the world a better place. SYITG