Summer Swolstice
Inspiration for a beatdown can come from almost anywhere. The blank slate , fresh canvas you are handed as a Q will always give YHC that “kid at Christmas” feeling. Lose Yourself in some nice Cinema and the the next day you are leading the men in the Inception kick song in a mosey around a municipal building at 520am. Have another pax critique your form? No bother, you can answer with a 45 minute beatdown lecture on Apollo and his OhYes. Earl Dibbles fan? YEEEE YEEE brother! Say no more, that’s a whole hour specialty beatdown!
Tributes , birthdays , mountain climbing franchises, feast days, holidays, schisms, sandwiches vendettas…all great reasons for a free men’s workout and today YHC wanted to add one more entry to our Pax ever expanding portfolio: the exercise research beatdown. June 20th being the summer solstice and this month being Alzheimer’s awareness month YHC has been reading more about the cutting edge prevention of this state and of neuro cognitive decline, a field that has exploded in just the last decade. YHC saw a recent study placing exercise (mental and physical) very highly on the list of modifiable risk factors. It went further, breaking down the type and duration of cardio and by the time YHC had finished reading the abstract the following beatdown was in the slow cooker just waiting on lab mice…ahemmm…pax.
Duke! Put the WD40 on the rowing chains ! The pax need some cardio.
YHC moseyed in with 30 seconds till kickoff after a light setup sesh. AB was found loitering in the midst of the circle and was pulled into a full on haboob he didn’t much care for. Some commented it was Darude of him to decline advances but he must be more of a slow dance kinda guy, I’ll try Peter Gabriel next time.
Anyhouser, We got right into the usuals and then Sandstormed our way to the Cones of Dunshire.
According to this metanalysis the following actions are optimal for maintaining our cognitive abilities and stemming decline. (Some liberties were taken so please don’t send this to JAMA , they have enough on their plate working on Valves call schedule complaints )
Needed:
-10 minute bursts of cardio
-Short Term/Long Term Memory work with rapid alternation between the two
-Execution of a task , especially with spatial awareness
-learning a new skill
-Social relationships
So obviously the challenge here is “could this all be done simultaneously in 45 minutes ?”
Here’s YHCs swing at it .
10 station Circuit
1. Med Ball Slam (no one has time for therapy )
2. WW3 Sit-ups (cuz they suck)
3. OHP (make free throws challenging)
4. Goblet Squats (that suck thing again)
5. Row (learn something new)
6. Coupon Curls (for Ronnie)
7. Pickle #1 with increasing drop burpees (build social relationships)
8. Pickle #2 (what Goose happens after 5 guys)
9. Apollo Ohnos (cus YJ loves them )
10. THE TIMER : dribble run with various free throws (spatial execution)
While traversing the circuit the lab participants would need to compile a working short term memory bank of seemingly random words while accessing there long term memory to see if there was a common thread. Musical clues and foils would be playing for motivation, rhythmic coordination, and philosophical discussion.
R1 BEST PICTURE
Moonlight – Parasite- Crash-Chicago-Gladiatior-Ghandi-Patton-Marty- Rebecca -Spotlight
R2 Bond Villains
Trevelyan- Scaramanga- elektra king -le chiffre- Hugo Drax – Dr. Julius No – Mr White – Raoul Silva- Elliot Carver – Mr Big
R3 NOBEL Prize
Linus Pauling, MLK, Mother Theresea , Al Gore, Red Cross, Watson and Crick , Al Einstein
Lab Observations:
– the OHP and Curls had devastating effecting on FT percentage (that’s what we will blame today)
– YHC loved listening to the proposed common threads and watch the “AHA” moments as the puzzles clicked. I saw the exact moment during Duran Duran that Goose realized they were all bond villains!
– ManEater was upset Bloodsport wasn’t in the Best Pic nods and he has his own best picture list, I can’t wait for that beatdown.
– HS can drain a free throw on command but also wanted everyone in zone 4 cardio so he missed some just to sharpen iron,
Gear packed in the party wagon and we moseyed back to launch pad.
Wet Tap graced AB with The Fire Within (TFW), actually the same phrase the GI doc wrote to describe his colonoscopy.
Invitations to keep those individuals and their families suffering with cognitive decline in your prayers and to offer our own sufferings for Christ to use in their relief.
COT and Popeye prayed us out
Post Doc Analysis
Like any good study YHC had to leave some variables unknown to the subjects so YHC did not inform the Pax that the Lions den court had been converted into a linear functional MRI scanner for observation of brain waves and translation to pax thoughts during the exercise. Here are the results:
Wet Tap: I’m feeling really extra swole in this tank top, can I award myself the fire within?
YJ: We’re no strangers to love
Goose: This may be the dumbest thing dox has ever done, wait is that the row machine! …ok second dumbest and I’ll give him a half point for Lecrae.
Lil Cuz: Gladiator, Spotlight, Crash..are these all ways to describe my beard ?
YJ: You know the rules and so do I
Enron: Gosh I hope he’s got some Cash Money Millionaires on that playlist.
Americas Best: I should really look for a free men’s workout with harder trivia
YJ : Never gonna give you up
Popeye : *smirk intensifies
ManEater: where is “Dumb and Dumber”, “Die Hard” , and “Point Break”????
This is clearly not best picture material.
YJ: Never gonna let you down
Honeysuckle: This is a great warmup. Hope I hit Zone 2 today.
YJ : Never gonna run around and desert you !
A pleasure to lead men
Thanks for letting me Roll with you.
SYITG
Dox
