PAX: Enron, Captain D’s, Piccadilly, Safety Valve, America’s Best, Cardinal, Yankee Joe, Wet Tap, Lil Cuz, Popeye, Maneater, Pope, Coyote, Duke, Jackknife, Swedish Fish
On a particularly gloomy morning in the gloom, the PAX assembled in anticipation of what was in store. Noting the tendency to congregate in the more paved area of the usual gathering place, YHC made a few gracious adjustments to today’s locations, but only a few. The posting of Captain D’s was a welcome sight, as was that of an FNG.
YHC had been a little nervous for a V Saturday Q, trying to live up to the standard that the usuals provide. What if YHC inadvertently changed something? What if it only lasted 45 minutes? That would be a big change, even when put up against all the other changes since Goose has been out. Sure, Yankee Joe allowing some M’s to join last week, and Dox charging a $2 per workout per PAX on Thursday for “administrative overhead”, and Safety Valve having an indoor beatdown on Monday due to slightly imperfect conditions, and Enron forgetting to do a COT, and Coyote secretly being an elite hired coach weren’t that big of a deal, but as AB knows, being told “nice job fitting an hour into 45 minutes” is not a compliment. So YHC planned for a little extra.
The PAX begrudgingly circled up and a typical warmarama was performed. Until the end, that is, when YHC introduced the Equalizer, which was taken from a recent downrange experience. 12 SSH’s, 12 SSH’s with arms steady, and 12 hops, followed by 11 of each, 10 of each, and so on until we reached 1-1-1. The PAX picked this up quite well. Yankee Joe seemed to be requesting a Jewish version, which we didn’t do today but one option for another day would be to start with 9’s, one per Menorah candle.
Then we did a “standard” Indian run to the tennis courts, a nice paved surface that the PAX would have the opportunity to closely examine for cracks and debate where the expansion joints should have been put. The theme today would be in contrast to the running, rucking, and motion in general that was February. The flagship exercises of each Thang would be static holds, ideally motionless, all done in a Dora format.
Thang 1
The hold would be a mission impossible plank, while the partner ran to the chimney and did 2 merkins and 2 squats. Then run back and switch. After the second partner completed 2 merkins and 2 squats, they would move to round 2, where an additional 2 squats and 2 merkins were performed. In general, for round n, 2n squats and 2n merkins were performed. YHC is relieved that these workouts can be described in algebraic form, now that the true intellect of the PAX is beginning to shine through. There was no set goal for this since, hey, it was a Saturday, but in the end we stopped before we got to the square root of 50 rounds.
Thang 2
Moseying over to the monkey bars, the same general format would be used for Thang 2. Partner 1 would perform a dead hang while Partner 2 performed 1 burpee in round 1. In general, n burpees performed in round n. YHC has recently taken Q explaining lessons from AB, and he assured me that if the PAX don’t understand something, it’s not the Q’s fault because it was perfectly explained. Unequivocally. So, YHC is not at fault for most of the PAX not getting that when the hanging partner has to quit before the burpees are done, then the team is out and does Al Gores. Eventually the word did get around though. This eventually left one team hanging, Captain D’s and YHC. Now, YHC is not sure if Captain D’s has been secretly practicing this every day for the past week or two like YHC has, but he put up quite an impressive effort.
Thang 3
That brings us to the third event of the day. The PAX took a short mosey to the other side of the playground equipment apparatus, which was the parking lot of the Rec department. YHC produced a list of exercises, including WWI sit ups, Apollo OhNos, Reverse crunch, Crab Dip, LBC’s. 150 of each. Originally this was to be done in a 3-man format in the large field, but due to the conditions YHC kept it to 2-man in this smaller (paved) area, revealing a few flaws in the translation but the PAX is nothing if not resilient. In this case, the hold was alternating between a wall chair or balls to the wall, with the wall being the rec center. YHC called a few early exercise changes so that we would get to more things, and several PAX excelled at Crab Dips and were excited about other ways to apply their newfound skills.
Then the PAX moseyed back to the flag. The inVESTment was bestowed from Pope to Enron due to his golden gloves, which were not CoolJobs but Midas brand as they turned his hands gold as well. Maneater prayed us out, and AB got his phohwn to take the photo.
Thank you to the PAX for showing up. And giving it your all every time. It really was an honor and a privilege to get to lead you today. If anyone gets called about having to clean the side of the Rec building, let me know and I’ll take care of it.
Prologue: As the theme for this beatdown came together, several events and thoughts came into focus through that lens. The contrast between one partner apparently “doing nothing” (holds) and the other being very busy (burpees, merkins) reminded me of my own judging of and comparing with others. Both jobs were hard today, but when I am a mover I think moving is harder and being still is easy. And vice versa. Which reminds me of something a Methodist minister told my wife and me before we got married. A story of a husband and wife doing laundry, and the husband says, “You know, sometimes I feel like I am the one doing everything around here.” And the wife says, “You know, sometimes I feel like I am the one doing everything around here.” I think about that story almost daily, and try to remember two things. First, there is just a lot of **** to do around here. And second is that egocentric view that what we are doing is harder, better, etc. and what they are doing is easy. And then Thursday, when Paradox said, “Man, Goose makes planting that flag look easy” and AB said, “Paradox makes taking the picture look easy” were two nice examples of appreciating that those “easy” things others do may not be so easy.
SYITG,
Honeysuckle
