YHC had put together a St. Nicholas themed beatdown for this warm December 6 morning, but I wasn’t sure who, besides Enron, would show. But, sitting in the parking lot at 5:27, I wondered if even he would show and whether anyone would enjoy the feast. However, faithful to his word, Enron pulled in and YHC assumed it would be a two-man party like the old days, but then the red Superfun(d) mobile pulled in, and the Three Amigos went at it.
After the Tana-city required to push through yesterday’s beatdown, YHC’s body and will were feeling depleted, but Q-drenaline and a solid theme to distract us provided just what the doctor ordered (from his trusty/pesky drug rep).
Warmup were the usual suspects, most all the way to 20 reps to work through the stiffness, including high knees and butt kicks.
The first Thang was preceded by an introduction to the true stories that made St. Nicholas so popular, the main one involving sneaking around town and throwing bags of gold coins into a needy person’s window. So, YHC though it best to start with a reverse 7 of Diamonds, which would include some sneaking through the dark of the early morn and dropping treasures.
We started the first corner with all four exercises, and at each subsequent corner we dropped one of them (secretly) before sneaking to the next:
Corner 1 (at the pole by the concrete): 28 OH claps, 21 squats, 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and then bear crawl stealthily down the field to the sidewalk
Corner 2: 21 squats, 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and crab walk with Cardinal-esque smoothness, mostly, across to the other side of the field.
Corner 3: 14 merkins, 7 burpees, and Groucho walk (which is sort of like cartoon sneaking) back to the concrete.
Corner 4: 7 burpees and done with it.
Thang 2 was a couple of songs about St. Nicholas, the first being “Jolly Old St. Nicholas” performed by Chet Atkins. The exercise was Al Gore for the duration, and turn-around (180) jump squats for every rhyme. YHC didn’t listen to the whole song in preparation, but if I had, I would’ve noticed that there are only four lines sung in the whole 2.5 minute song, so two rhymes total. Chet Atkins was a guitar player, so the song was pretty much a guitar solo interrupted by a couple of women singing a few lines of the classic song. The mostly uninterrupted Al Gore after that long Groucho walk was really something else. But, them boys didn’t complain, and we gladly gave our thighs a break for the next one.
“St. Nicholas” by Anuna, a Celtic band, is an ancient song sung in Old English asking for St. Nicholas’s intercession for safe passage to Heaven. It only lasted for 1:13, so we held Mission Impossible plank for the duration and pushed up a merkin for every “Santa Nicholas”. The intensity of the music perfectly accented the manly grunts and heavy breathing.
Then, it was up for a mosey toward Rich Man’s Loop, but we cut up past the townhomes (patio homes?) and did a burpee as we passed every front door, leaving generous gifts of sweat there on the ground for each family to find upon waking.
Back at the Stage, we climbed to the chimney training ground, up on the stage at the bricks, to work on our form, strength, and dexterity. Started with dips for the gentle, butt first chimney drops (4-count x 15), then Left-leg bulgarian split squats for stepping into and out of the chimney (4-count x 10), Irkins for head first approaches (4-count x 15), Right-leg split squats (4-count x 10), and Derkins for full-on chimney dives (4-count x 15).
Then, it was back down to the ground for 8 minutes of Mary to work on that famous gut, which may or may not have been a feature of the real St. Nick’s physique. Flutter kicks, penguins, heels to heaven, wife pleasers, J-Lo’s, pickle pounders (so scandalous, yet so effective), crunchy frogs, leg raises, and Freddys.
COT, solid prayer by Enron, and then The Three Amigos powered out the ever-increasing ISI (sneaky difficulty, starting to really feel it, but grateful for what will soon be some ripped abs if we can lay off the carbs, which is unlikely).
Thanks, fellas, for the brotherhood this morning!
SYITG,
Goose
