Running With Scissors
Running With Scissors

Running With Scissors

Date:05/11/19
QIC:High Rise
PAX:Screw Top, Shingles, Green Screen, Walleye, Blue Angels, Half Nelson, Mahatma

I had been looking forward to this (1 day after) Birthday Q. Since I am a Physical Therapist I wanted to introduce a few exercises that I have my patients perform in the clinic or suped-up modifications of those exercises. I had considered using the great lawn for a portion of the beatdown but due to the amount of rain we had received and the lack of any animal crawls I opted to stay dry (of water, not sweat) which I hope the PAX appreciated. 8 men gathered in the humid, muggy, but sunny morning, the disclaimer was given, and off we moseyed to the pavilion by the Festival Grounds as everyone carried their soon to be announced coupons while I carried the scissors so said coupons could be distributed.

Warm Up:

  • Side straddle hops x 25
  • Windmills x 10
  • Self love x 10
  • Hillbillies x 20
  • Mountain climbers x 20

Thang #1:

I was inspired by 2 recent beatdowns by Mr. Awesome and Kuch that included Tabata. So I performed a dry run the night before with a free app I downloaded and chose a 90s grunge playlist on Amazon Prime for 20 sec of exercise and 10 sec of rest for a group of arm exercises all using Theraband. We performed 2 rounds, with some questionable grunge selections by Amazon (Goo Goo Dolls and Dave Matthews Band are not 90s grunge).

  • Shoulder flexion (forward straight arm raise)
  • T’s/airplanes (separate arms apart while maintaining arms at shoulder level)
  • External rotation (elbows by your side and swing open arms like a gate)
  • Shoulder abduction (lateral straight arm raise)
  • Biceps curls
  • Triceps extension

Thang #2:

With everyone’s shoulders burning it was time to work on some legs. After shifting the picnic tables out of the way, PAX lined up on one end of the pavilion and performed a series of exercises back and forth across the pavilion

  • Lunge with twist, there and back
  • Toe walks, there
  • Heel walks, back
  • Monster walks with Theraband around ankles, forward there and retro back
  • Lateral monster walks with Theraband around ankles, alternate direction after a lap

Thang #3:

Everyone’s quads and gluts seemed to be burning after those so PAX circled back up for a some merkin and plank variations all performed in cadence

  • Merkin plus x 15
  • Merkin into side plank x 10
  • Plank on elbows into a birddog position (lifting alternate arm and leg) x 10

At this point my arms were getting worn out and I was slipping from my sweat on the pavilion concrete so I made slight change in my exercise order. Time for some People’s Chair x 30 sec each, with modifications of course to target different muscle groups.

  • Feet flat on ground
  • Shift weight towards heels to fire the gluts
  • Shift weight towards balls of the feet to fire the quads
  • Single leg with right leg in air
  • Single leg with left leg in air

Following this I went back and completed by merkin/plank exercise group with side planks into a straight leg raise x 10 each side.

Thang #4:

Following our pavilion portion of the beatdown we moseyed over to the deck in front of Big Lake while carrying coupons (and scissors of course). All exercises done in cadence.

  • Prone T’s/airplanes (Theraband optional) x 15 ; my apologies to the tall people/people with long arms
  • Prone W’s x 15
  • Dips x 15
  • Step ups x 15; 1 set leading with right then 1 set leading with left leg
  • High rises x 15

Yeah, I named an exercise after myself. I have a lot of patients at the clinic perform wife pleasers. However, I do not call them wife pleasers. They are called bridges. Wife pleasers/bridges seemed too simple for this group of men so I modified it into something different. Starting position is in a crab walk, then lift your hips/butt into the air while also lifting 1 leg in the air. So it’s a suped-up single leg wife pleaser. Hope this makes sense to anyone reading this nonsense.

Mosey back to the Muscleship shovelflag for some static hamstring, butterfly, and figure-4 piriformis stretching x 15 sec hold for each. Count off, name-o-rama, annoucements, intentions, and sweaty ball of man prayer. Thanks to all PAX for showing up. Hope everyone was as sore and fatigued as I was.