Welcome to Marsh Madness 2021. Twenty-four Pax converged upon the Milestone Marsh for this second-time event1
In the presence of the Pick Axe-entrusted Freedom Hammer, we started with a quick disclaimer, Warmorama, Bushwacker-style2 instructions, and then the THANG.
The Pax counted off in 4’s and formed 4 x 6ish-man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. While 1 member of each team backpedaled with their ball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing:
– Layup (1 point),
– Free Throw (2 points), or
– Three point shot (3 points)
Zero points for missed shots
the rest of each team completed the following series of exercises in cadence led by a rotating corner Q.
• Burpees
• Air Presses
• Shoulder Tap Merkins
• Copperhead Jump Squats
• LBCs
• Plank Jacks
• Monkey Humpers
• Flutter Kicks
Each man – including FNGs, 2nd timers, and celebrity guests – had multiple chances to lead the cadence.
Shooters marked their points with sidewalk chalk and fell in line to call the cadence for the next exercise. It took a few rounds before each team found its own rhythm, but after that it was like watching a philharmonic orchestra playing Mary had a little lamb.
After “40 minutes of hell,” team member points were tallied, and the highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were down-bracketed to a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out on their respective side of the court. The rest of the Pax performed Goofballs and Side Straddle Hops to distract the Final Four shooters.
Grundy, with accountant like focus, out-calculated Speedy;
Ocho outdanced Whip.
Grundy and Ocho were then down-bracketed to compete in a best-of-10 shootout from the free throw line. As luck would have it, they tied, and we went to Sudden Death from the Three Point line. Despite Ocho’s shenanigans, Grundy stomped the Stomper and emerged as the 2021 Marsh Madness champion!
– Trophy
– Count-orama
– Name-orama – Welcome FNGs Sonar (EH’d by Turbo Tax) and Gomer Pyle (EH’d by Sparky).
– Announcements
o Northshore 5-year convergence led by Waterpik at the Lakefront on April 10.
o Next F3/FiA mixer is 4/29. Thank you Jose10k, some of us do have to plan ahead for weeknight workouts.
o ZOORICH CLASSIC at the Lakefront on April 24. (See how I slipped that in there Cowbell?…never too early!)
QIC prayed us out and group photo followed. Great job by all. We’ll see if Grundy can defend his title in 2022. Thanks for playing along men. See you in the next Gloom.
Footnotes:
1Seriously, footnotes in a Backblast? Why not? The first Marsh Madness was in 2019 with a small, dare I say Elite, group of 8. Bird was an FNG and drained 16 x 3-point shots. The B-ball gods did not favor him today though. And well, Corona (as it was called back then) had other plans in ‘20.
2Bushwacker-style instructions typically include circumlocutory, sesquipedalian musings about man’s ultimate life purpose with some semblance of what the Pax should be doing for the next 40-50 minutes. They are often accompanied by Mumble Chatter and confusion by all within earshot. Bushwacker-style instructions are the exact opposite of Turbo-style instructions, which are direct, concise, and never to be interrupted without penalty.
