YHC has been privileged to play a role in many of the storied F3 Thibodaux Schisms through the years. Sometimes as an ardent supporter, other times, ashamedly, as a lead instigator. As the great Creed Bratton once remarked “…more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader”. While his comment may have been referring to cultish behavior, I think the general principle applies here and I’ve now met my weekly quota of Creed quotes. And so, it’s with this schism experience that YHC feels qualified to observe the subtleties present in schism infancy. It starts at an almost undetectable level. Just a slight twitch of the eyelid during Smashmouth Allstars. Then it builds. A facial wince when you hear mainstream 90s classics and you start to avoid people that use the term “Champagne Supernova” for all the things that are great in their life. Followed by audible disdain to your cohorts about one genre/decade being more elite than another. Then, like clockwork there is a “boiling over” event. For example, no one recognizing “Lucas with the Lid Off” followed by GroupMe affirmations for the more recognizable 3rd Bass “Pop goes the Weasel” (complete random example). And just like that we are off to the races. A few laugh emojis don’t go your way and your supper doesn’t taste as sweet. You get backed into a corner and know the only way out is weapons of eardrum destruction you’ve been hiding in the dark for years, ready to lash out at moment’s notice. You dig in, readying your Spotify missiles for a lengthy war and you begin searching through old LimeWire and Napster accounts…
But not today my brothers.
Today, just like your optometrically prescribed headband, we will promote healing!
But how?
How could we thaw the frozen hearts of 90s genre elitism?
YHC saw only one way out.
A single artist.
His work spanning 4 decades.
No genre left standing in his wake.
Today we would utilize him as an instrument of peace.
Today..we would get WEIRD.
Duke get your accordion and play that funky bean footage!!
9 pax warmup of the usuals, highlighted by two late arriving ecofriendly PAX vehicles. Tanas fueled by the hard labor of rural PCPs and ABs running off his own supply of colon-to-tank methane.
THE CONCERT THANG
Simple and direct today.
We would take the top 5 Weird Al hits, modify them a touch and enjoy some of the finest lyrics created in the last 40 years. YHC would sprinkle in trivia between songs.
Correct 10 curls
Incorrect 25 Monkey Humpers because with the trivia masterminds present you have to up the ante. These llamas play for keeps plus Pope is now 20/20 on beatdown Star Wars trivia.
# 1 White and Nerdy
Holding coupon Scissor Kicks , Swap on White and Nerdy , Coupon presses while holding 6 inches on song
What famed physicist is in his library? (Hawking)
In the song He denotes a numeral value referencing a polygon associated with this famed mathematician? (Pascal)
10 Curls for Correct Hawking, 25 MH’s for lack of Pascal knowledge.
#2 The Saga Begins
Trigger on Star Wars characters and planets , and Jedi
Around the galaxy lunges during song, Jungle Boi squat on triggers
Which Star Wars movie specifically was Bring parodied in this song? (Phantom Menace)
Jar Jar Binks species and home planet ? (Gungan, Naboo)
Meaning youthful and untrained , anakin is referred by this term during his early Jedi training? (Padawan)
# 3 Eat It
Big Boys with Coupon , Sitting OHP on Eat It’s
Beat it 2008 was a poorly received tribute done by this pop group ?
Black eyed peas- Again, YHC’s error at mis labeling legumes and black eyes but the pax really needed dat lactic acid boost so we did 25 MHs.
# 4 Amish Paradise —YHC’s personal favorite of the collection.
Inchworm crawl out to HR Merkin during song
Thrusters on Paradise
The song parodied here was the #1 teach featured on the soundtrack of this 1995 movie ? (Dangerous Minds)
Can’t you just imagine AB in his freshman dorm watching Dangerous Minds in his Jncos and chain wallet, a couple Oasis poster on wall. Life is Good!
The teacher in this film played by whom and is nicknamed what? WHITEBREAD
Goose was awarded partial credit for attempts at White Witch and 10 MHs were deducted.
#5 FAT
Squat side Kicks , Bonnie Blair’s on fat
This parodied song was originally planned as a duet with what other royalty of 80s rock ? (Prince)
**As the day unfolded our local investigative journo Mr. Wilford Montana unearthed an entire Prince vs MJ beef that is quite a rollercoaster including Prince trying to run over MJ in a parking lot followed by MJ calling Prince a “meanie” for the attempted vehicular manslaughter.
We needed a recovery mosey to really smell the Nirvana and Goose needed to show King Pickleball he still has enough Sprint coverage for all the dead zones.
Captain D’s bestowed the Animal to Valveline, noted that he rubbed some dirt on a fractured foot and posted all week.
Valve awarded Jedediah Dawson aka Pope yet another well-deserved Fire Within for pumping out sitting OHPs while telling YHC Weird Al was too weird for his taste..hmmm…must be a Pete Gabriel guy.
COT and Goose prayed us out
Thanks for getting Weird with me today fellas
POSTingSCRIPTs
You know those safety signs in plants that denote “X number of days since the last safety incident”?
Well, at F3 Thibodaux the peace of Weird Al led to a combined schism healing of 32 minutes before a recurrent 90s Pax villain threatened to reveal his Offspring and an Ace up his sleeve in the near future. This, in turn, stirred up at least two other delinquents who promptly started calling each other Aswads… and we were back at square one with 45 minutes of hard earned therapy down the toilet. The only course left was an apology…
To Mr. Weird Alfred Matthew Yankovic:
I tried your methods and found them useful but we may need a longer treatment plan to Smash these Pumpkins. Its like I’m trying to Reel in a Big Blowfish, not just a Hootie, but I’m keeping a Third Eye Blind to the mid 40’s Dinosaur Jr’s with no respect for the Pax still in the Green River of their youth.
I’m just trying to save some Collective Souls in this Asylum but the more I fight for the Right to Party the more I realize that some of these Ricks just like to Roll and the rest of these goo goo dolls prefer to troll. Some are happy to see Dave Mathews churn, but some, well some just want strike a Matchbox 20 and watch it Burn.
Thank you for keeping it Weird Mr. Al
See you in the Grunge
Dox
