When the recent news of parish reassignments hit YHC, two things became clear. The first was an inevitable Cardinal tribute beatdown and the second was that I needed some time to think. I needed some distance (about 80miles would do) , some time to reflect …maybe even a nice view…maybe even a lake. And there’s one lake I know of. It’s the one you know too. And as I sat there, parked by that lake, (you know the one), I reflected upon the gift of our own beloved Cardinal to our community. And right there, parked by that very lake, I dedicated this here beatdown to his 5 year ordination anniversary.
7 men at the Den on a relatively cool Thursday morning for some lake reflection and light calisthenics. The unsuspecting pax to be honored had been lured in with JBL HCs, dreams of chic-fil-a Coffeeteria and mysterious Smooth pressure at the previous nights DC circle. He dutifully fought the fartsack with a spare JBL, a few more regulars rolled in and we were ready to go.
Duke!! Plug Morgan city in the GPS ! What?! It’s not 80 miles away? Ok ok we’ll edit that in post …roll the footage!!
Warmup
The usuals with a warmup mosey for cone deposition and coupon configuration. This is usually where pax are looking for dox booby traps or random garage gym equipment but today all except one had been alerted it was a Cardinal tribute. They trudged onward anyway , into a nest of heavy coupons and gratitude.
THA THANG
YHC announced that we would celebrate Cardinals many gifts in circuit and musical form .
Song
The Announcement
When yHC first spoke with Cardinal about his new Morgan City parish we mostly planned an AO for the nearby LakeEnd park. It was amidst these jokes I saw the lake, and the miles, and the parking. Only one song could carry the weight of this kind of announcement
Dean Summerwind
“Parked by the Lake
Merkin – Parked
Side Reach – Lake
MC – Santa Fe
That one never gets old.
Next the Challenge
YHC has always been amazed at the sheer volume of Cardinals schedule. Mass, family dinners, meetings, plannimg schizms, whoop surveys, biscuit tastings, coffee roasters fine things club…and that’s just a regular Monday.
so an attempt was made to recreate and bring the pax along for the challenge.
Start in front of CC stairs
25 merkins (wake up)
Coupon Crab Walk to stairs (walk to coffee pot)
Confession/Mass/confession –
– 10 Thrusters – 10 curls- 10 Thrusters
High knee waves to cone (as a local celebrity
Run remaining civic center (late for a meeting) High knees waves back
Then Repeat above …because you have another mass at 10M mass
Coupon lunge backwards
25 merkins
The pax had all accepted various non priest vocations by the second serving of thrusters and Honeysuckle even assisted YHCs theme by pretending to display weakness at Coupon Crabwalks, prompting YHC to extend help to a “struggling parishioner” and swap everyone to coupon lunges walks. It’s ok HS , those Shakira hips don’t lie but they’re just too powerful.
Next we honored Cardinals uncanny ability to answer trivia with burpees on the line.
Early in YHCs Q career I selected the Hannah Montana movie album with hopes of cardio torture. Cardinal heard 2 microseconds of the beat, guessed the song, the year released AND the album saving the pax around 30 burpees. F3 Thib scholars still teach it to their students as a historical landmark of leadership.
Song:
Its the Climb – Miley Cyrus
SSH/ Burpees from Mountain to Climb
Another round of the Mass circuit and them coups were getting heavy.
Finally, and more sincerely YHC wanted to recognize Cardinals willingness to allow God to direct his life , pour out his grace and provide support for many of his F3 and community brothers through trying times and tribulations.
Song :
Lord of Hosts – Shane and Shane
Ring of Fire – Merkins – Burpees
We did a lot. The vision was blurry.
COT
Rugby to Cardinal
and Popeye prayed us out
**special shout out to a few Cardinal partners in crime who provided “Cardinals greatest hits: Seal, Nelly and beyond”
Words of a Feather:
In the fall of 2021 YHC walked onto a gloomy stage with a financial advisor and a theologian . Sounds like a bad doctor joke with a bartender punchline right?
It was actually YHCs first beatdown and I remember impressions of each man well. Goose, responsible for the EH at dinner the night before, had firmly planted himself in YHCs brain as “just my kind of crazy person”but the intensity level was palpable in his gaze so I looked onward. His wife had informed me it was “calisthenics and running” so why did it look more like a Cobra Kai seminar? “ Ok don’t panic” I told myself. , what about the other guy? Oh , Enron? He looked like a man who would crush a beer can between his forearm and bicep first and ask questions later. Clearly he was the enforcer of the bunch and I hoped my 318 cred would last for atleast 45 minutes. I was beginning to unravel this odd corporate structure, simultaneously back peddling to the car and trying to decide which one would ask me for the first monthly installment when a third man appeared. His smile was equal parts kind and welcoming and as he strolled in I felt an overwhelming sense of safety. They both addressed him as Cardinal. He replied with appropriate quips for each and we got started.
As we celebrate Cardinals 5th year as a priest it’s this very gift that I want to highlight the most, providing hope. For me that day it was just hope to survive chubbawampas hit single. But for the many people in this community he has impacted it’s a much greater Hope.
Hope restored as he administers sacraments ,Hope reminded in skilled homilies and Hope redeemed in spiritual direction.
All these, and much more he provides as an instrument of Gods grace and as an example of great trust.
Cardinal, you are a gift to our F3 brotherhood. We are grateful for you and look forward to supporting you in the next adventure.
And just know that when you’re ready , we’ll all be parked out there…sitting right by that lake…you know the one.
SYITG ,
Dox
