Rolling Stone: So, AB, tell us about this beatdown you just wrapped up. What was the vibe at the AO?
America’s Best: I was equally surprised by the wealth of knowledge out there and the lack of flatulence. . . Some mornings are just magical, I guess. We started with a warmarama that felt like an opening act—like you know when you’re going to see STP but The Offspring is there first? Just trying to get through it. Safely Valve tried to be the guy who knew better but we waited for him. Some were feeding off the energy of the hype, you know? After seeing the hype, Enron knew immediately that Arcade Fire was involved, but it was unclear if he was excited, concerned, or indifferent about it. The man is a riddle in a mystery inside an enigma wrapped in a cotton Phil Collins tank-ini.
RS: So there was at least some anticipation of what was in store for the PAX?
AB: At least some preparation. I think Paradox was running on pure adrenaline following his all-nighter of searching the Japanese internet.
RS : For what was he searching?
AB: I dunno. . . Answers? All I know is by morning he had figured out the album artwork for The Funeral. And he spoke fluent Japanese. Oh, sorry, Dox: “Nihongo.”
RS: So do you enjoy the Q spotlight?
AB: No. It’s too much for my ADHD brain. I do enjoy the creativity– trying to make something engaging and hopefully exciting. But most times it’s more fun to be in the trenches hammering away at something ridiculous and mumblechattering about someone else’s horrific music choices.
RS: So do you ever think about stepping away and just producing?
AB: I feel like I have more to give. I still feel young, you know? I mean, I’ve seen some greats like Yankee Jeaux step away for awhile and come back stronger than ever. Have you ever completed a Danny Go beatdown?
RS: No I can’t say that I have. In fact, I can’t even remotely comprehend what you’re talking about.
AB: It makes jurpin’ to “Give It Up” feel like crab-walking to the Halo theme.
RS: That is zero percent helpful.
AB: I feel like you’re getting a little disrespectful. Don’t be surprised if this interview goes sideways later.
RS: Oooookay….noted. Anyway, what was your plan for this beatdown?
AB: It was a concept beatdown. I wanted to capture the feeling of 2004. You know, I’d just graduated, gotten married, bought a house, begun a real job. I was getting realllllly boring. I mean, we were The Incredibles for Halloween that year.
RS: You make is sound like 2004 was the beginning of the end.
AB: It’s the year Facebook started.
RS: Touche.
AB: But getting back to the concept: It was simple. Put together a playlist of hits (Yes, they were hits, Lil Cuz) from 2004 that would be our soundtrack for a two mile run. At designated times, we would stop for an exercise. 20 reps would be the starting number, and we could deduct 5 reps each for the artist, title, and album identification.
RS: And how did that go?
AB: Let’s just say these guys were lucky Popeye was there.
RS: So did he carry the PAX on music knowledge?
AB: Oh there were definitely strong contributions by Honeysuckle and Goose too. But here’s the thing about Popeye: He has never forgotten. Anything.
RS: Anything else of note during the run?
AB: I’m glad you asked, Chumley. Is it ok if I call you Chumley? The thing is, I thought I threw a softball out there for our manmaker station. I figured half of theses guys at least knew Eminem’s “Just Lose It.” They knew it was him, but that was it. While I did hear a few of the PAX mumbling random facts about him, nobody could identify the album or title.
RS: After all that intensity, how did you wrap it up? And no, please don’t call me that. That’s not my name or anything. Does that mean something?
AB: No. Anyway, we moseyed back to the flag to finish up the last of the songs lighting-round style.
RS: And how did that go?
AB: No idea, Chumley. At that point I was running on fumes. But I assume it was pure magic.
RS: Ok, why did you even ask permission if you are going to keep calling me that anyway? What does it even mean? Is it like “champ” or “boss” or something? Is that from something?
AB: Don’t worry about it.
RS: Ok, after all that intensity, how did you wrap it up?
AB: COT. Phil the Pain (aka Face Value) went to Popeye. Blue Tube went to Enron. Lil Cuz prayed us out.
