YHC needed an idea. A really, really good idea. This PAX has set the bar high with their beatdowns.
This thang needs to be interesting without being too confusing. And not too easy, but not impossible (although experience tells YHC to err on the side of impossible).
Having not led any kind of workout in decades, YHC tried to harken back to his younger years. What was it we used to say? YHC searched the catacombs of his antiquated mind… phrases came flooding back. Things like, “Lift with your back, not with your legs!” “Pivot!” and “Avoid the Noid!”
YHC quickly realized he should try and fill the space with music rather than any of his own chatter. And the idea for “Free Solo” was born.
Warmarama:
SSH
Imperial Walkers
Windmills
Arm circles
Cherry Pickers
Self Love
Mountain Man Poopers (added for the theme, maybe never done by most; of course, Goose made it look like he does them daily)
The Thang: “Free Solo”
Free Solo climbing is rockclimbing alone using no climbing gear: no rope or harness, no carabiners, no pins. “No rope, no rack.” For the purposes of this beatdown, our “gear” is our coupon.
Get Free by naming the Solo. YHC curated a song list, with each song chosen specifically for one PAX member. As we performed an exercise, it was the PAX’s responsibility to figure out what song the solo is from, as well as who the song was chosen for. 3 outcomes are possible:
1. You ID the solo curated for you, and the PAX is entirely FREE to “climb” the 15-20 yards without their gear (coupon). Bear Crawl up, lunge walk back, everyone without the coupons.
2. Someone else ID’s your solo for you, and only they free solo; everyone else hauls their coupon (bear block crawl up, lunge walk back).
3. No one ID’s the solo, and everyone takes their “ropes and rack” (Coupon)—Murder bunny up, rifle carry back. When you get back, continue the exercise until everyone is back AND someone can ID the song, artist, and who it is for as the entire song plays.
Solo 1 – as we began with (what else) Mountain climbers, we heard the solo from Dire Strait’s Money for Nothing. Unfortunately, Enron may have been able to ID his solo, but not yet understanding the rules, Yankee Joe called it early, and (accidentally) saved only himself from the coupon.
Solo 2 – Merkins while we heard the smooth sounds of Sade… unfortunately Smooth Operator was unable to ID Smooth Operator (come on! Know thyself, Grasshopper!). But someone did (Enron and/or Goose), and the rest of us hauled our gear up the mountain again.
Solo 3 – I felt fairly certain nobody would guess this solo. Honeysuckle, however, displayed his serious music chops and ID’d “Hungersite” by Goose pretty quickly. HS likely would have nailed a few more but was hindered by his position far from the TurtBox
Solo 4- Yankee Joe did stellar job acting like he didn’t recognize the song that I’m fairly certain in he listens to on repeat in his car before every class. In fact, nobody recognized the solo from Van Halen’s “Hot for Teacher” and we all murder bunnied as deserving punishment.
Solo 5- Pope finally saved us all, identifying his solo from “Baba O’Reilly.” Goose responded in classic Dad fashion, missing his son’s victory. Everyone finally got to “free climb.”
Solo 6 – At this point, YHC’s mind was focused more on survival than memory, but I don’t think anyone ID’d Tom Petty’s “Learning to Fly” during the solo. Safety Valve may have had similar mental focus, as he almost didn’t realize it was for him.
Solo 7 – Other than YCH, Nobody knows this song. Probably nobody knows this band. “Honeysuckle Blue” by Drivin’ and Cryin’ had us all murder bunnying again, and doing V-ups until we all hated the song even more.
Solo 8- YHC was stoked to see Hypotenuse show up, and add his song to the playlist. Nobody ID’d it during the solo, but as we rifled-carried back, Goose called it to save us from more Burpees. “Triangle Man hates “Particle Man’” and he hates more burpees.
Solo 9- Seems like Michelin should have gotten partial credit for this. I mean, the guitar solo in “Beat It” is almost identical to the solo in “Eat It.” But partial credit is for snowflakes in liberal arts schools, so we continued to beat ourselves down.
Free Solo OT – The Summit
With everyone’s solo accounted for, and with 5 minutes left, we went into the lightning round.
Wolverines until someone can identify the (mountain themed) song OR artist, and then they can change the exercise
Song 1 – Mountain Sound by Of Monsters and Men. Yankee Joe displayed his scholarly acumen by naming a Steinbeck novel instead of the Icelandic indie band, but he finally corrected himself and we switched to LBCs.
Song 2- “Mountain in the Way?” “Mountain’s are so gay?” “Mountain here Today?” There was just no deciphering the lyric “Mountain at my Gates” by Foals.
Song 3- Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains). YHC’s fatigue at this point is physical but also due to psychological grief at the lack of music knowledge this morning. Goose almost had it, but the PAX chatter over the lyrics stymied him.
More Chatter = More Chilcuts.
Time was up. As we trudged back to the flag, the only sounds were the far cry of that rooster, and Smooth Operator’s declaration, “Your music sucks!”
Good! Use your aggressive feelings, Smooth. Let the hate flow through you!
Other than that, Free Solo had nothing to do with Return of the Jedi.
Goose prayed us out.
