“Shoeless” Joe Jackson: “Is this Heaven?”
Ray Kinsella: “No, it’s Iowa.”
YHC has never been to Iowa. He has, however, been to Baton Rouge….Saturday morning as a matter of fact…and has to admit that Highland Park is beatdown heaven. If we build it in Baton Rouge, they will come…just like Charlotte, just like NOLA, and yes just like the Northshore…that is a certainty.
So seven Northshore PAX arrived in the Highland Park Gloom, appearing seemingly out of the mist like Shoeless Joe Jackson and his teammates, ready to play ball. It went like this after a thorough and legally binding Disclaimer:
The Warmup
Determined to deliver knowledge, each Northshore PAX led one of our standard warmup exercises then picked out one of the Baton Rouge PAX to repeat it. YHC kicked things off with Seal Jacks 10x IC, kicked it to Worms for a repeat, EiEi picked it up for Hillbillies 10x IC, kicked it to Rocket for a repeat, and so on working through High Knees, Butt Kicks, Side Saddle Hops, Copperhead Squats, Good Mornings, and Imperial Walkers. False starts, mental lapses, and counting errors a plenty but, hey, the School of Q was in session and the Northshore PAX could have stayed in their fartsacks instead of piling in the Clown Car for the road trip if the BR PAX already knew the drill.
The Thang
Shooter took over for a Tabata set with Merkins and Plank Jacks as the featured exercises. 30 seconds on, 10 seconds rest, repeat 3 rounds. Professor Shooter then explained to our Baton Rouge brothers the versatility of the Tabata format for delivering pain through a variety of featured exercises, dropping a big pearl of wisdom on the BR men.
Mosey to the Sundial where Steve unleashed his trademarked Bulgarian Squats on the PAX. Sprinkling in Freak Nasties, Step Ups and Derkins had the BR PAX thinking that they were no longer in the minor league.
And if that didn’t do it, the Mosey over to the top of Mount Highland Park for Burpback Mountain definitely signaled the arrival to the Big League. Partnering up, teams of PAX performed 100 burpees…one partner running down the mountain to the stream and then back up while his partners performed as many burpees as possible on the way to 100. Is it worth crawling out of the fartsack for an easy beatdown? Negative.
Mosey back towards the Shovel Flags where THE Manny set the PAX up for a plank slalom. 16 PAX planked up while the last man sprinted/backpedaled through the others, planking up himself when he reached the end and signaling the next man to get busy. Once the last PAX completed his sprint/backpedal slalom, it was time for a 10 count refresher course before the PAX moved on to Mary.
Carpool educated the Baton Rouge PAX on LBCs and then EiEi delivered the final pitch of the morning with his legendary Jane Fonda sequence.
Countorama, nameorama, and THE Manny prayed us out on our way to the coffeeteria.
The Northshore PAX was honored to lead. Thanks for having us.
