Category: New Orleans

  • Not hating on the H8 – from Bolt

    Six pax assembled in the gloom as many Pontiff regulars punched their passports by venturing to Okwata for the biannual H8. We weren’t hating on the H8; we simply chose not to do it. Instead, 3 ran, 2 rucked, 1 walked. YHC looks forward to the Fall H8 with a fully functioning shoulder to get my baseline. Honored.

  • Earn that Wood – from Wiford Montana

    9 at the Den and the Q was Co
    Next man up to fill in for Jeaux

    Late Tana and you hate to see it
    Running warmup and you couldn’t flee it

    9 in a row for diddle , I hear a rustle
    Cardinal back from another vacation but we respect the hustle

    We would pay the troll then dance to a song
    The hills were steep and the tunes were long

    Burpees , unwelcomed but they did feel good
    Tana made it weird to earn that wood

    Roxeanne and the police till our legs were bare
    Marvin Gaye moved mountains but the price was fair

    Squats to Bonnie just for your butt
    Then we asked Lil Jon turned down for what ?

    COT and Cardinal prayed us out
    3x animal for Diddle, the man is stout !

    My boys in Thib , we got dat dawg
    Tana and Dox , we’ll see you again in the fog

  • El Diablo’s BDSM (Burpees Don’t Suck Much) – from Bolt

    In preparation for my 3 yr MANniversary Q 6/5, while DR in The Woodlands, YHC wanted to try something new, except of course for the warmorama song bc the pax want what they want and who am I to deny them?! Started with Abe Vigoda then followed by Abe SLOgoda after Bogey, at coffee recently, challenged the idea of what’s a warmup, contending that SSH is too high impact for a warmup. Next, of course, were SSH followed by the usuals. Walk the field backwards to the playground equipment, music blaring to create pax pleasure and pain, depending on the listener (GLORIOUS).

    Morning call x5: this made for a long plank and plenty merkins with 17 pax (it IS starting off to be a good morning), especially with Hand Grenada and Vagabond dragging ass to the pull up bar at the end. Mosey to pavilion where the skip rule was explained, prompting Rudy to immediately make us pay 5 burpees (no double skips so thank Rudy for Sandstorm).

    El Diablo Ds: Dry Docks, (20) (Fast Tax doesn’t like screaming, pay five burpees), Dolly (25), Dips (20), Dying Cockroches (31 just cuz), Derkins (20), Dirty Hookups (20), Diamond merkins (5, they suck at the end): all in varied cadence (the Pax loved that part). Mosey back to warmorama spot and circle up with me, no more skipping allowed.

    100 Burpee playlist (below): burpee the key word(s) and perform a movement in between (SSH, Seal claps, IW, OH claps). 30 sec rest between songs. YHC pivoted the fourth song to be LBC/wife pleasers and still ran outta time (Fast Tax was first to call time so that must mean it was good. Good meaning bad, not good meaning good—this pleased YHC). Honored, motivated, and appreciative as always, pax! COT.

    100 Burpee Playlist:
    Flower/Moby: SSH, “Down”
    Tubthumping/Chumbawumba: Seal
    Claps, “Down”
    Roxanne/Sting: Imperial Walkers, “Roxanne”
    Get Back Up/Toby Mac: OH claps, “Get back up”

  • Knees, Toes, Sprinting, and S&M – from Bolt

    Tuesdays have become quite the mixed bag of options and this week we had knees over toes, interval sprinting and stretch and mobility with a DR visitor, Buzz Kill, from Pearland, TX choosing S&M

  • That’s 200 yards, right? – from Enron

    YHC arrived to the Stage later than normal after dealing with sleepless roaming 2.0s and a lost set of keys; leaving the M at home not very impressed with the noise and light levels at 4:50 am. If I go missing for a few beatdowns (or forever) we will now know why. Quickly upon rounding the curve to park, Smooth and Paradox came trotting by, continuing to accumulate points for the Clevland May Challenge in a beastly way. Smooth, your incredible will and drive continues to push us all. By 5:15 (or shortly thereafter due to miscalculations on BMs) we had a total of 7 PAX ready for some Tuesday Tuffness.

    Warmup: SSH, IW, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, AC, Cherry Pickers, the rest of the usual, maybe some mountain climbers in there.

    Thang 1: Mile Mosey – That’s it we just jogged a mile. As you can see, a lot of planning went in todays beatdown.

    Thang 2: Rich Man’s Loop Light Post Choose Your Destiny
    After the mile and a ten count, the PAX gathered their coupons and made way to the beginning of rich man’s loop. This is where the F3 deck of death was presented, and instructions were handed out.
    Each light post one PAX would have the chance to choose their destiny (along with the rest of the PAX) as we made our way from post to post around the loop. The choices were as follows:
    A) Perform the exercise on the card, or
    B) Choose “MAY Challenge” which means that the suit of the card determined the exercise:
    a. Hearts – Merkins
    b. Spades- Coupon Tricep Extensions (Curls) or Coupon Squats
    c. Diamonds – BBSU
    d. Clubs – Coupon Curls

    Paradox drew the first card and chose to take what was on the card. This turned out to be a 200-yard sprint which in turn sparked a quick debate about how far 200 years was. Goose quickly, and loudly, made his position known that one light post was 100 yards away and we would just need to sprint back and forth. Stupidly listening to his seniority, YHC agreed. After returning from what must have been a 75-yard sprint it was agreed that we (he) may have miscalculated.

    For the rest of the loop, each Pax drew a card and chose their destiny, with most choosing the May Challenge rules. This loop took longer than YHC planned for and by the end we had to make a long mosey with coupon to the Stage.

    Upon arrival back at the stage we completed coupon curls AMRAP until time.

    COT and Goose prayed us out.

    SYITG,

    Enron

  • Birthday Q with no Plans – from Pillsbury

    It was a not so humid morning with a tad breeze. I woke up later than expected, but arrived at the AO at 5:10am. I made my rounds to locate spots for our unplanned work out and hoped that I could come up with something worth it that could challenge everyone.

    At 5:30 I announced I was the Q explained I was not a professional! No feet in mouth this time.

    Some of us mosey over to the football for warm ups the rest hit the track for knees over toes

    Warm o Rama

    30 side straddle hops
    30 lbc’s
    30 grass crabbers
    20 mountain climbers
    20 Abe Vigoda
    20 forward arm circles
    20 reverse arm circles
    20 over head claps

    Mosey over to rock pile and pick a medium rock. Since it’s Monday and that means ROCK CITY, all of the following dealt with rocks.

    5 stations each
    advancement you added another 10 reps each station, which ended in total 150 reps. Sounded better in my head than actually trying to do them. Made adjustments to 5 instead of 10.

    150 overhead press
    150 curls
    150 rolls
    150 chest press
    150 big boy sit-up without rock

    Mosy back to rock pile and walk backwards to home base. Hopefully everyone received a well balanced workout this AM!

    #WeddingPlanner #TripleShift #Scantron
    #Tenderlion #Rougarou #Hokie #Charmin #KennaBrah #Bolt #HandGrenada #Mayhem #PVC #PoolBoy #Vagabond #Boo-Boo #Pillsbury

  • The Goose Option – from Goose

    The Goose Option refers to both the Q-uarterback’s decision to pitch to the running back at the last moment (YJ to Goose), and the modifications YHC has employed during the past couple of months to avoid further injury to the right wing. This morning, we would all endure the Goose Option.
    YHC arrived with Pope to see Smooth already running laps–a good sign for Team Smoothie Kings. Worried that “HC” has further come to mean “fartsack” for many, YHC was carefully watching the clock as we inched dangerously close to 5:15. But, French Horn pulled in (a few minutes early, mind you), followed by a trickle of solid dudes who eventually added up to a Magnificent Seven despite the large number of solid fartsackers (including at least one “HC”). Seriously, it was awesome to see that we can have so many men there on a Monday morning even with so many missing.

    Encouraged by this crew, including two who traveled from Houma and beyond (Paradiddle’s 5th in a row!!), we rolled through the warmup of the usuals, and YHC introduced Goose Option, Part 1.
    During the May challenge, YHC can only score points through situps, tricep curls (which are harder than bicep curls, so it’s not cheating!), and running. So, for the sake of camaraderie, we all did 4 rounds of the following: 3 sets of 15 tricep curls and 15 WWII situps followed by a quarter-mile run (to bumper, then Stop sign, and back). This ultimately added up to 180 curls, 180 situps, and 1 mile run.
    French Horn continued to pour forth unprecedented music and movie knowledge from the 90’s as he kept up with YHC (and ultimately earning the Animal shirt as a result), which made this stage fly by. T-claps to the whole crew for cranking out the tricep curls and big boys–I felt known and loved.

    Part 2 would be a song since more than half of song routines consist of the plank/merkin combo or something like a SSH/burpee combo and YHC has to do some sort of leg destruction to match the intensity. So, we would all destroy our legs using “The General” by Dispatch. We held Al Gore for the duration of the 4 minute song, and during the refrain, we did the following:
    -squat jump on “take a shower”
    -Bonnie Blair on “shine your shoes”
    -Apolo Ono on “young men”
    -genuflection on “forgiven”
    According to Paradiddle, this looked like some sort of dance, and maybe it was. Maybe that’s all I’ve ever really wanted, to dance in sync with a bunch of swole dudes. Either way, the legs were shot long before we finished, but we genuflected our way to the bitter end before lining up at the edge of the concrete for the final 8 minutes.

    Part 3 reflected the common experience YHC has of modifying an arm routine to a leg routine only to have the Q call a killer leg routine next. So, we would do 11’s until time ran out–flutters at the Stage, lunge walk to the sidewalk, leg raises at the sidewalk, and run back. It was basically a few ab exercises to provide a little space between a bunch of ridiculously long lunge walks. (I’ve discovered since then that if I sit down, I should plan to be there for a while.)
    This was a tough one, but these dudes cranked it out without stopping or complaining (too much), though I think Paradiddle did run behind his truck to let out what sounded like enough gas to inflate a weather balloon. Seemed like a waste of steps to me–I would have like to have seen how that affected his lunge walk.

    6:00 mercifully came, and the PAX made their way back to the Stage for the COT. Tana’s hair told the whole story–it looked like it had been through a lot and wasn’t even trying anymore. Frenchy got the Animal shirt, as mentioned, and Paradiddle prayed us out.
    Diddle decided to stay and clock one more mile, and as we were driving out, we saw Smooth go back from his truck to the track to join him so he didn’t have to run alone. That’s what it’s all about!!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Try Athletes – from Paradox

    Does anyone else have an item on your bucket list that looks wayyyy better on paper and in your head than in reality.
    YHCs has always been the triathlon.
    The conversation goes something like this :

    12 year old YHC brain:
    bruhhhh Conquering multiple elements of human locomotion in a variety of terrains, an ultimate test. You are literally an amphibious machine. Cross that finish line while everyone cheers your name. The ladies will be lined up. This is your life’s greatest work.

    35 year old YHC brain:
    bro , chill, you get the heeby jeebies from swimming in deep water, biking always hurts your back, and your feet cramp after a two mile run. If you keep taking ibuprofen you will get an ulcer. Check yourself before you shipwreck yourself.

    And so on just like that for decades.
    But no more!
    Today we put the triathlon to bed once and for all…as a team!

    Duke put down those electrolyte gummies and roll the footage.

    12 pax beat the gloom on a beautiful summer morning at the Peltch. YHC rolled in a touch early to plant a few seeds and then met up with a growing prethang Saturday crew of Horn, Diddle and Ronnie. With a steady pace we covered topics ranging from Cardinals secret beach workouts to Horns new longboard interest group and melted away a few miles in the process. Please text YJ for all prethang details if you are interested (there’s an application and he needs to know your long term intentions and previous prethang relationship history)

    Several more pax trickled in and we had a rock solid group ready to race.

    Warmup
    Started with a ear splitting cadence of 36 SSH to honor the bday of our resident beast Enron. Full back blast sarcasm aside here, Ronnie is a cornerstone of our pax , always exhibiting a tenacious spirit and has really progressed into a force to be reckoned with physically.
    Enjoy those well earned bday jucifers brother!

    We got back into a steady warmup when YHC heard a verbal altercation brewing.
    At only 2 minutes and 39 seconds into the beatdown Sheriff Deputy of Form Yankee Joseph found his first citation. Does proper form have an age limit? not for this deputy. There is no jurisdiction when someone does a half Side straddle. He is the Law.
    Little did he know the young Coyote is highly skilled in verbal jiuJitsu and in seconds had YJ questioning his entire form police career and presenting badge and gun to Goose.
    The dust settled and a Donnybrook was avoided , Goose threatened to hose us and we moved on.

    Indian run
    Classic Sea Shanty run
    Last man Drop off 5 diamonds merkins
    We ran to tennis court for two songs to set the mood.

    Da Tanggggg

    Part 1 : Swim
    Open Ocean Jam session

    Baby Shark
    YHC set the mood with this dark and foreboding tail.
    Burpee on Shark
    SSH on song
    On about the 3rd burpee we had our first casualty as the baby shark was clearly targeting the elderly blood in the water. Further investigation underway to see if a banana peel from Coyote was the murder weapon. (But seriously rest up Jeaux, the team needs you)

    Under the Sea
    Side shuffle
    Bobby Hurley on Sea
    This one got warm pretty fast and begin to set the stage for further cardio testing.

    Buddy System
    Partner up
    Both complete 20 2 is 1 flutter kicks sprint to tennis ball bucket. Ten merkins at tennis’s ball and sprint back. (About 50 yards away)
    We all ended up with 6 tennis balls per couple but Cuz did some weird Yee Yee math and said 5 so he and partner Frankenbeans took penalty burpees.

    Part 2 : Bike
    Indian Run #2
    We hit the road in search of our bikes.
    As we crossed the ditch Horn kept us entertained with a rendition of I believe I can Fly
    He ate that dirt sandwich with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. You can’t keep a good man down.

    Last man drop off for 5 2 is 1 Freddy mercuries.
    Frankenbeanz succumbed to a leg injury halfway through and YHC deployed Horn on a life raft to check in on the growing IR list.

    Bicycle Song at Tennis court
    Freddy mercuries on bicycle
    Leg raises on other parts
    Superfun(d) began to question the amount of sugar YHC had in his cereal.

    Part 3: Run

    Tennis Ball Suicide relay
    Split into two teams
    Must run full suicide to the bucket , get tennis ball
    Full suicide back to secure tennis ball at home base
    Team with most balls wins

    Back to the flag for a little Mary

    WetTap awarded the GiGi to Coyote for his resistance to the form police. I know Coyote is already busting merkins so he can look jacked in the GiGi next Sat.
    SuperFun(d) sent the Animal back to its originator as Goose continues to pound out 4000 Bonnie Blair’s and big boys per beatdown.

    COT and WetTap prayed us out

    NMM

    YHC is an over-analyzer by nature. If you lay out 20 reps of an exercise in front of me my brain says “ok 5 slowish, 10 regular then just kinda bob around till someone else stops. Full self preservation mode. Yet some of my favorite moments in F3 happen when the beatdown overrides the system. The intensity is cranked, sweat in your eyes, minimal mental processing, just you and your team stuck solidly in the present. One tennis ball at a time till there are no more.

    You can Try for yourself
    Try for individual gains
    Try for self recognition
    And you will feel good temporarily.
    But hidden in the secret sauce of F3 is the Try for others while the “Me” takes a back seat.

    Grateful for the men of F3 as we make each other a little stronger each day.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Three’s Company – from Fracsac

    The Tchopitoulos Bar-a-thon the night before very likely led to a light showing at the Mothership. A few beers, some miles and good company is always a good thing. But this rounded out YHCs birthday week, so a few beers wasn’t going to stop this guy.

    Lucky for YHC, Igor and Catfish took the DRP and showed up. Rudy, El Guapo and Hawgcycle went running.

    Warmup with regular stuff and a new routine, which we’ll call the mutilator. It’s a series of Al Gore, squats and jump squats. There was much joy.

    BLIMPS around the Great Lawn.

    Next was Bill Murray, aka Groundhog Day. 5 laps around the great lawn, stopping for the following after each lap:

    10 burpees, 10 BBSU, 10 Merkins, 10 squats

    Time for our resident detective, Jack Webb.

    Finish with some Mary, pax choice.

    CoT then Coffeteria.

    Thankful for another year with F3.

    SYITG

  • Wolf Pack Mountain – Burpee Palooza Ring of Fire – from Willie

    The PAX gathered for 530AM sharp at the WPM meeting spot on St. Charles Ave, where I announced the standard disclaimer. I also had my Bluetooth speaker and playlist at the ready. The rules are pretty simple for my music. Any PAX can skip a song, but it will trigger a 10 burpee penalty for the whole group, and there are no back-to-back skips…sorry Catfish:(). O’Douls had the honor of shuffling the songs, and it landed on “The Children will Listen” by Barbara Streisand…. The entire PAX declared a skip, and we did 10 burpees out of the gate!
    We moseyed over to the base on WPM to warm up with the following exercises all in cadence:
    SSHx20, Imperial Walkersx20, Hillbilliesx20, Self lovex20, Grass Grabbersx10, Arm Circles F/Bx10

    Once the warmups were complete, the PAX ran up the mountain stopping at each level for a Ring of Fire. All inclines were run up backwards.
    Monkey Humpers 20 total, next PAX starts at 10. Hold Al Gore while you wait.
    Couch skipped with 5 seconds left of the “Humpty Dance” – PAX did 10 Burpees.
    Low slow Squats 20 total, next PAX starts at 10. Hold Al Gore while you wait.
    Douille skipped “It’s Raining Men” – PAX did 10 Burpees.
    LBCs 20 total next PAX starts at 10. Hold a hip bridge (wife pleaser) while you wait.
    Merkins 20 total next PAX starts at 10. Hold plank while you wait.
    Mountain Climbers 20 total next PAX starts at 10. Hold plank while you wait.

    Once at the top of the mountain, I had a surprise for the PAX. Instead of a traditional ring of fire, we had Burpee Palooza Ring of Fire. Each PAX was singled out to name the artist of the current song. We did 3 burpees as a group as the new song played. Once the burpees were done, the PAX next up in the ring of fire had to name the artist of the song, if he missed it, another 5 burpees ensued, if he got it correct, we did 10 Squats. We made it through 7 of the 21 PAX in the ring before heading back to the flag. Let’s just say we did a lot of burpees, and I will leave it right there.

    Here is a list of the songs that were played in the Burpee Palooza Ring of Fire:
    Get Ready – DJ Jubilee
    Da’ Dip – Freak Nasty
    Shake it off – Taylor Swift
    For Those About to Rock – ACDC
    What a Fool Believes – Doobie Brothers
    Let’s Dance – David Bowie
    What Does the Fox Say? – Ylvis

    We made it back to the flag right on time and closed out with the COT. It’s always an honor to lead this group of great men. Already looking forward to next time!