With appropriate rock, at the “hill”
Rnd 1
PAX performed the following OYO without stop: 8 Curls For Girls, 8 High Pulls, 8 Overhead Presses, 8 Tricep Extensions, then drop coupon for 8 Merkins. Bernie up and over the hill, jog back. Rinse and Repeat 8 Times.
Rnd 2
Pull overs
Flutter kicks
Chest press
Wife pleaser 4ct
LBC
Got 3 sets in, mosey back to start for 60nsecods of Derkin style plank hold, walk/jog backward to COT.
Determined to do 100 kettlebell swings, we did that and also some snatches, and cleans and walking lunges, and painfully slow burpees. I like to do at least 15 minutes of mobility and stretches before getting into the workout. Things seemed to speed along after the first 15. We did do 100 swings and the rest. But when I got to 915 mass I was sore for the rest of the day and next. Perhaps too many swings in one workout.
Only 5 Pax (Charmin, two Yutes, Kenner Brah, Hokie, tenderloin) made it out in the cool 85° morning to run, ruck or KnOT
El Diablo 8/9/2023
YHC was up out and 10 minutes give or take early……12 pax lingered in the early cool air of this late Summer morning. A broad disclaimer was give and 5 headed out as Knot bandits and 7 stayed behind wondering if they made the right choice. YHC stated this would not be a workout that one may come to expect yet a much “slower pace”!
It began…..
Warm Up
Scantron
Side Lung
Hill Billy
Scorpion Kick
Should Tap
SSH
Mosey to Bleachers for Stadium Work:
5/10/15 run the band of bleacher stairs
Once complete slow mosey to some rail work – upper row, split squat ea leg, upper row pull, BB sit ups
100-200 Field Bear Crawl – ea pax counted off we crawl approx 10 yds this continued until we crossed the field
Mid Mary
Gas Pumpers
W – LBC
New Calisthenics – 2 rounds of 10-12 reps with approx 30-40 sec rest between.
Squat to handstand (scorpion or dinky kick)
SpiderMan Push Up
2nd round was done as ring of fire with each pax counting of alternating legs through 5 rounds.
Break Dancer
1 round of dry-docks in cadence x 10
Finish Mary
Crunchy Frogs
WW2 SU
Head to the flag for COT
YHC was happy to pinch hit for Picadilly on this Tuesday Tuff morning–it would give us a chance to put (at least) one more hurtin’ on the legs and abs to steel them up for this weekend, AND YHC could work around the wounded wing without having to modify. The rest of the PAX was delighted, too…
Ultimately totaling 8 after a couple of late ‘uns, the warmup consisted of much of the usual, but we added some shoulder rolls cuz YHC remembers how the neck felt after Tap’s 1 mile nur a few weeks ago and wanted to avoid that given the amount of nurring that was planned for today. We also focused a bit more on the ol’ hammies with some Tin Soldiers–they’ve been getting quite a beating the past few beatdowns, and this morning would be no exception.
YHC was happy to introduce a few of the newer guys (who have been extremely impressive in their consistent posting) to some foundational routines today. The first was 11’s. We started on the edge of the pavement with 10 Big Boy Situps, ran to the opposite sidewalk, and completed 1 Goosie (newly minted this morning–it’s the Goose-modified burpee: Bonnie Blair plus a jump squat = 1). Then, Nur back for 9 big boys at the patio, then 2 Goosies, etc. with the number of BBSU decreasing by one and Goosies increasing by one until each had completed 1 BBSU and 10 Goosies.
Honeysuckle showed his superhuman stamina on the Goosies, for sure, and the dude was just getting started. Everyone else’s legs were certified gelatin, but there was still 25 minutes of beatdown to go, so it was on to Thang 2, starting with a mosey to the beloved first street lamp on Rich Man’s Loop.
(Seriously, running and stopping at that first street lamp for instructions (and pontification) is like arriving at the waiting room at the dentist–you’re not exactly sure what’s about to happen, but it’s guaranteed to be extremely uncomfortable.)
Today, the lesson was in mental toughness and our ability to measure progress. We may be constantly working our tails off, but if we’re needing measurable progress through the ups and downs, the backs and forths to give us a reason to keep going, we’re gonna struggle. The truth is, the suffering IS the journey, especially when it’s shared with brothers, and interior progress is the only progress that really matters.
So, the routine was titled “Two Steps Forward, One Step Back”–it consisted of running two light poles, then nurring one back; then running three light poles, then nurring two back, then running four, then nurring back three, all the way up to running 7 and nurring back six.
Honeysuckle, Diddle, and Pope began to pull away relatively early, reveling in their running prowess, while the rest of us just tried not to let anyone down. Dox and Enron paired up, as did America’s Best and Safety Valve, leaving YHC to grind it out alone as the pit began to close around him somewhere between the 5th and 6th volley, the will to win having been sucked out in the later rounds of the 11’s. It’s funny, though, how any little hand-hold will do when you’re trying to survive, and YHC found some comfort in watching his shadow start to shrink as each light post approached from behind. Nurring is tough on the legs, but it’s also tough on the mind–you can’t really tell have far you have to go, and you can’t keep your eyes on the prize. All you can see is where you’ve been, the sweat stains and the pain you’ve just poured out. This was good training in mental toughness, and YHC was proud of this crew for stepping up and cranking it out.
Once all but one team had finished, the run to pick up the six became a necessary Indian Run back to the flag due to time constraints and YHC’s desire to no longer suffer alone.
Upon arrival, the count-off was complicated due to brain fog and tired math muscles, but all were accounted for and Gigi (the game ball in the absence of Animal) obviously went to Honeysuckle as he easily stayed out front for the entire nasty beatdown. Thanks for keeping the bar high, HS!
Announcements: get signed up for the SV500 if you haven’t already, and get those jambalaya tickets sold! Incredible work, per usual, on all this Paradox! Let’s keep praying and be prepped to show up early and help make this a successful event.
Prayer intentions for Smooth’s crew, Diddle’s crew, Cardinal’s transition, and Enron prayed us out.
SYITG,
Goose
Warmup
Drag Scantron’s weighted sled around the lake plus 1 ruck
21 reps of each around the lake
Burpees
Big bois
Squats
Step ups
Dips
Derkins
Plank ups
Side lunge 1is1
Heel to heaven
Decline shoulder taps
Incline burpees
Leg lifts
Smurf jacks
Nolan Ryan 1 is 1
LBCs
Bobby Hurley
J Lo 2 is 1
Incline wife pleaser
Sunday Mornings
Seems like today was a choose your own adventure. Some started running, and ended up pickle balling with some Knees Over Toes in the Middle. Either way, we all came out, put up, and worked out for 45 minutes, except for the KNoT guys, they were 2 minutes late to CoT
In the CoT we gave thanks for everyone today and prayed for healing for those who need it.
Seems like today was a choose your own adventure. Some started running, and ended up pickle balling with some Knees Over Toes in the Middle. Either way, we all came out, put up, and worked out for 45 minutes, except for the KNoT guys, they were 2 minutes late to CoT
In the CoT we gave thanks for everyone today and prayed for healing for those who need it.
Birthday Q
8/7/61
Arm Circles
Twists
Imperial Walkers
Abe Vigoda
Low Slow Squat
Flora 1-2-3
100 Merkins – P1 does 10 with feet on coupon. P2 holds plank with feet on his coupon. Flapjack.
200 LBCs – P1 does 20 LBC holding coupon high on chest. P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, and extends arms w/ coupon over chest. Flapjack.
300 Goblet Squats – P1 does 25 goblet squats. P2 lowers to bottom of goblet squat w/ coupon, and holds. Flapjack.
200 LBCs – P1 does 20 LBC holding coupon high on chest. P2 holds legs 6″ off ground, and extends arms w/ coupon over chest. Flapjack.
100 Merkins – P1 does 10 with feet on coupon. P2 holds plank with feet on his coupon.
Rifle/any carry down to the gazebo for some recovery stretches
Return to rock pit for Ring of fire till times up – then backwards walk/jog to flag
COT
How It Started:
Yesterday, YHC was talking with Paradox about life. As would be expected, the conversation shifted quickly to F3.
We wondered at Popeye’s badassery and how he methodically works through a beatdown. You’ll hear part of that Army motto pouring out with his sweat, “I will always place the mission first. I will never accept defeat. I will never quit. I will never leave a fallen comrade.” Chills!
We lamented the torture that was SaturDiddle and that we actively seek out fartsacking excuses when Diddle’s name shows up on the Q list. Brutal!
We marveled at Safety Valve’s unprecedented posting record right out of the FNG gates…6 for 6. Keep it up. Respect!
We delighted in how Bone Thug swooped in one day and took his place at the table. We debated whether Bone Thug should be plural or singular. Dox writes it in plural. He’s wrong. Recognize!
We discussed the wonder of Cardinal’s random F3 superpowers, including his Q evasion tactics for questionable excuses like needing to shepherd the people. Apostolic!
We laughed and cried about how Pope is surpassing Goose, but acknowledged the King was far from dethroned. Quicksand!
You can almost hear the exchange:
– Pope ‘Shark’ Lavay: “Slow down, Dad. You’re going to have a stroke.”
– Montezuma ‘Goose’ Monroe: “I don’t get strokes motha*@$#&. I give them.”
———————————
Why It Started:
You see, YHC is fully focused on the SV 500, and thus, beatdowns leading up to the event should be carefully designed. YHC told Paradox there would be no silly themes. Nope…no props or monologues this time. Paradox simply said (in his deep, serious Doctor voice when he doesn’t make eye contact), “Yeahhh. That sounds good.”
Soooo, while driving home, suffocating under the crushing weight of Dox’s disappointment, it became clear what needed to be done. It was an obvious transition from…SV 500 to Indy 500 to Talladega Nights to wearing a Cal Naughton Jr. wig to adopting a Homeric accent. (Homerian? Homenetian? Homogenous?)
Following the Warmarama, in the spirit of Ricky Bobby, and in honor of Paradox’s homeland, YHC gave a monologue (below) in his best Homer, LA speak. However, YHC’s High Country Homerian dialect was difficult for Paradox to follow. As the old adage goes, there’s San Pellegrino and there’s La Croix. Then there’s Schweppes Club Soda. Quaint!
If you haven’t seen Talladega Nights, the following monologue will sound pretty stupid. If you have seen Talladega Nights, the following will still sound pretty stupid. Who cares?
——————————–
The Monologue (read in your best Homerian accent):
“As we are prepping for the 2nd inaugural SV 500, most of us are reconsidering how ready we are following Paradiddle’s ‘Back to School” beatdown.
“That said, it’s in these dark moments where we find our special talents.
“Sometimes you get a knock in the head, you get superpowers. It happens all the time. Read comic books, okay.
“I know what each of you are thinking…you’re thinking, “I wanna go fast. I wanna go fast.”
“But in the midst of our suffering, yer startin’ to doubt yerself and askin’. “Am I going fast?”
“You look around to see how other PAX are doing, but mannn…you can’t “mumblechatter with your eyes, you chatter with your heart.”
“And sometimes you don’t know “what to do with your chatter.
“You find yerself flyin’ through the air, the Tom Cruise witchcraft ain’t working, the ninjas are tryna get you…and then shame of shames, you get thrown out of Applebee’s and you don’t know what to say.
“But then you see Goose and realize that he’s just a big hairy American F3 machine. Heck, paradox’s shorts are so tight he could crack walnuts with his butt cheeks.
“So, you dig deep. Maybe you picture Jesus in a tuxedo. You think perhaps, it’s time to shake and bake.
“You’re all jacked up on Mountain Dew and Surge. ready to go at yerself like a spider monkey.
“Because it’s okay…in the end, in F3, it’s just you against you. But also, if you ain’t first, yer last. So, if it’s between you and you, you better be faster than you so you don’t lose. Here’s your sign.
“To help our lost cause, we got ourselves a cougar in the back seat…you know, metaforeigner speakin’. We got ourselves a little race. We got ourselves an F3 500.
And I’ll tell you this right now, you know who loves racing? Our girl, Dora.
—————————————–
What Happened (please make it stop):
9 PAX gathered at the Stage on a VERY muggy Monday morning. A few HC’s and a few pseudo commits. As alluded to, most of the PAX were nursing physical and emotional wounds from a torturous Saturdiddle. Mannn, we were ALL on the Diddle List. We’re prepping for the SV 500 and though we wouldn’t go full pads, YHC very generously offered a series of strength and conditioning opportunities. Playing off of the SV 500 theme, the PAX entered with respectable pole positions for an F3 500.
In pairs, P1 would sprint around the AO track (approx. ⅛ mile) while P2 knocked out reps of a particular exercise. When P1 returned, flapjack, and P2 would sprint the track. The goal was to reach a rep count of 100 for each exercise. There were five scheduled exercises for a total of 500. Yeah, you get it. Cheers.
There were three caviars…(Homerian for caveat). The PAX loved those. The groans sounded like a bunch of constipated walruses.
1. The race was timed. All teams had 25 minutes to complete 500 reps.
2. When a partner pitted (completed a lap), both partners had to perform 10 Bonnie Blairs before P1 could start the exercise or P2 left pit row.
3. YHC could put up one caution flag, in which all PAX had to slowly mosey around the track until caution was lifted. This meant the partners completing reps had to stop and mosey along with the running PAX.
The Exercises:
– Overhead press with coupons (x 100)
– Leg lifts with coupon (x 100)
– Thrusters (x 100)
– Coupon LBC’s (x 100)
– Coupon curls (x 100)
————————————–
To YHC’s surprise, several teams finished within the 25-minute window. YHC’s team finished only because Pope and Goose dragged him there. Thanks, fellas for carrying me. The PAX then moved onto the musical stylings of the Proclaimers.
500 miles
– Flutters, V-ups on “gonna”
– LBC’s on refrain
– Mosh jumps on bridge (na na na na) – after second verse
– SSH for third verse with high knee sprints on last refrain
Here, YHC remembered and genuinely understood a great line from Paradiddle’s last blast:
“…a chance to catch your breath, swallow the puke, and try and salivate to keep from dry heaving (please tell me it wasn’t only me).”
It wasn’t only you on Saturday and it definitely wasn’t only you this morning.
We finished with Pot Luck Mary, but stopped just short of Paradox’s dolphin hops. You know dolphins shouldn’t swim in a shark tank.
Gigi was bestowed on Paradiddle by Safety Valve. ANIMAL was presented to Popeye.
Don’t forget to sign up for the SV 500.
Prayers for Smooth and Paradiddle, the first day of school (teachers and students), and for Cardinal’s new and exciting journey as the Bishop’s Secretary.
Popeye prayed us out.
SYITG,
Jeaux
Have A Cup of Jeaux:
Let’s talk about the hard commit or HC? The H has always confused me…as if the word “commit” is a multi-leveled state of being. There is no qualifier for commitment. You can’t semi commit, kinda commit, soft commit…just like you can’t be just a little bit pregnant. You are either pregnant or you aren’t. You can’t kinda be dead. You either are or you aren’t. You can’t sorta be a jackass. You either are or you aren’t. In this particular case, I am. There is only “commit.” There is only C.
