F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Burpee, Merkin, Squat OH mile – from Safety Valve

    It was another cool morning at the stage with 6 of the PAX showing up this early Monday morning. YHC tried to throw the bait out there with a Forrest Gump reference. Who doesn’t love a good Forrest Gump theme? But alas, they are all privy to my ways now… Bait them in and come out with a workout that doesn’t even involve anything in the hype. Hate to see it.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Mountain climbers
    Toy soldiers
    Imperial walkers
    Willy mays hays
    Wind mills
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Self love

    The thang

    It’s simple. Run three miles, do 60 burpees, 80 merkins and 100 squats.

    Burpee mile – run a mile along rich man’s loop, stop at the previously determined stops (4 total) and do 15 burpees

    Merkin mile – do it again but add 5 to the rep count to make it 20 merkins at each stop

    Squat mile – plan was to make this 25 squats at each stop, but time was going to run short, so an Indian run mile took its place.

    Bonus: Every member of the PAX has his own mile pace. Goose for example, is like Forrest Gump, he just keeps going and never slows. Others, including myself, likes a more leisurely pace. To keep the PAX together, YHC devised a social experiment. At each stop along the mile, whoever made it to the exercise stops and completed the exercise had to hold 6 inches until everyone caught up and finished the exercise. Would Goose slow down to prevent himself from having to do more work? Would the slower members of the PAX speed up to help a Goose in need? I really thought that goose would be holding 6 inches for 3 minutes at each stop, but something miraculous occurred. We kept together where the 6 inch hold rarely happened. YHC thinks most of us would agree we ran faster than we would have if goose wasn’t there. A humble goose would never admit he ran slower than he wanted so the PAX would stay together. It was a beautiful thing.

    Finished with 1 minute of holding six inches while goose told a miraculous story that involved a man that was well endowed with more than 6 inches.

    COT, announcements, prayers lifted up, goose prayed us out.

    Always a pleasure to lead. Thanks for waking up, showing up, and pushing for a better version of yourself

  • 12 Days of Fitmas and a Splash of Merlot – from Bolt

    Christmas is fast approaching and YHC hadn’t yet treated the pax to his annual tradition: very bad singing wrapped around a beat down and today would be the day—12 days of Fitmas it is. A Kotter (Satchmo), sporting the sophomore 20, joined the regulars to fulfill a commitment to himself and be accountable—well done!
    Warmorama of the usual, featuring the requisite song but this would be the only song from the usual playlist for today is Fitmas and Bolt Claus would deliver a holiday soundtrack to the pax.
    The Thang:
    Mosey to JPAX for a ladder up the 12 days:

    Day 1: Mosey (up the stairs and down the ramp)
    Day 2: Diamond merkins
    Day3: Shoulder Taps (2:1)
    Day 4: Reverse Lunges (2:1)
    Day 5: Burpees
    Day 6: Squats
    Day 7: Merkins
    Day 8: Big Boy sit-ups
    Day 9: Flutter Kicks
    Day 10: LBCs
    Day 11: Plank Jacks
    Day 12: Mtn. Climbers (2:1)

    Mosey back to the flag with enough time for “Mary” Kwanzaa: Peter Parker Merkins and Protractors to the sound of African drum beats.
    COT, thank you men for the push and accountability!

  • 12 Days of F3mas – Do Hard Things – from Mayhem

    After enjoying Dax’s beatdown in the gloom at the Renaissance Sunday morning, I decided to take the Q at Rock City and do a modified rock version.

    Disclaimer

    2 KnOTters went backward in one direction, Tenderloin forward in another, while 7 PAX moseyed to the 30yd line of the football field

    Warmup: AV, GG, PPP (Peter Parker Peter), MC, SSH, AC, RAC

    Head to the playground for some Morning Calls – one PAX at a time does 5 pull ups while the remaining PAX do 5 merkins each, rotate till all had the treat of early morning pull ups

    Mosey to the rock pile – grab a medium rock, then mosey to the “flag football field” as Rudy calls it, though he was nowhere to be found to chirp in

    The Thang:
    12 days of F3mas done properly (do the 1st day, then do the 2nd day followed by the 1st day, etc.)

    On the 1st day of F3mas, my Q gave to me…
    1- burpee IC (12 total)
    2- tricep extensions with the rock IC (22 total)
    3- curls with the rock IC (30 total)
    4- rows with the rock IC (36 total)
    5- squats with the rock IC (40 total)
    6- overhead with the rock IC (42 total)
    7- chest press with the rock IC (42 total)
    8- honest merkins (hand-release merkin followed by shoulder taps) OYO (40 total)
    9- mountain climbers 2 is 1 IC (36 total)
    10- Bonnie Blair’s 2 is 1 OYO (30 total)
    11- man makers OYO (22 total)
    12- 12s monkey humpers – big boys OYO – like 11s but 12s… 11 MH, run 30yds, 1 BB, run 30yds, etc. (66 MH and 66 BB total)

    Return to the rock pile
    Mary consisted of FKs and V-Ups

    Back to the flag
    COT
    Counterama
    Namerama
    Announcements – reminder about 20% off for F3 at Varsity Sports
    Intentions – both spoken and unspoken

    Prayed us out
    Thankful for the opportunity to come this morning and DO HARD THINGS or KnOT

    Merry Christmas
    SYITG

  • Misty Mountain – 12-16-2023 – from Almonaster

    12 Toys of Christmas!

    PAX:

    – Dax
    – Jingle Vader
    – Subprime
    – King Kong
    – Willie
    – Reluctant Yankee
    – Brown Bag
    – Tiny Tot
    – Douille
    – Gabby
    – Couch
    – Almonaster

    Mosey to the Tulane Breezeway.

    Warmup:
    SSH – 20 IC
    Arm Circles -10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    The Morpheus – 10 IC
    Balance on 1 foot for 10 seconds – each
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang:

    Santa has left presents all around for us to find.

    Mosey to the Pull-up Bars.

    12 seconds of pullups. Those not in Rotation will hold the Christmas Boat Pose.

    Mosey to the base of the mountain. Going up each level we will find 7 more toys.

    Slow Merkins – 12 IC
    Slow Leg Lifts – 12 IC
    Low Slow Squats – 12 IC
    Christmas Diamond Merkins – 12 IC
    Christmas Star Jumps – 12 IC
    Plank Elf Punches – 12 IC
    Santa’s Burpees – 12 OYO

    Mosey down the mountain to the benches.

    Slow Incline Merkins – 12 IC
    Dips – 12 IC
    Bench Step Downs – 6 each leg
    Decline Merkins – 12 IC

    Mary
    LBC’s – 20 IC
    Papa Noel Douiles – 20 IC

    Back to flag!
    Birthdays
    Anniversaries
    Announcements
    Intentions
    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!

  • OG Frisbee Baseball – from Thighs

    Today we brought back an experimental workout trying to balance some skill with luck with a mardi gras football and baseball diamond.

    We started the beat down with a warmup:
    Mosey around the block
    15x Jumping Jacks
    7x Windmills
    7x Cherry Pickers
    7x Merkins
    7x Mountain Climbers
    7x Squats
    7x In Tempo Tempo Squats

    Then we mosey-ed to the parking lot and set up a baseball diamond.

    We updated the rules based on learning some things from last time.
    One PAX threw the football while the other PAXs ran after it from the start line. The throwing PAX attempted to race around the bases before it was caught. Once caught, the last base crossed was their assigned base.

    We rotated the PAXs until everyone had a base assigned.

    The bases had a corresponding rep count:
    1st = 20
    2nd = 15
    3rd = 10
    Home = 5
    (Pays to be a winner)

    Then as a group we moseyed around the bases stopping at each base to do an exercise with the amounts assigned by the base one achieved.

    We did the following as one round:
    Each throwing the ball, getting an assigned base (reps), and doing the same exercise around the bases together.

    We did (4) rounds:
    Round 1: Arms
    Wide arm Merkin
    Tricep Merkin
    Diamond Merkin
    Hand Release Merkin

    Round 2: Legs
    Squats
    Lunges
    Jumping Lunges
    Side Squats

    After two rounds and everyone getting 15 Reps, we were able to change to a Frisbee that went farther and allowed PAX to get a different rep count.

    Round 3: Abs
    Triple Bear
    Flutter kicks
    Wide PIke Ups
    Ab X-tensions

    Round 4: Burpees
    Spiderman Burpee
    Alternating Lunge Burpee
    Burpee Jack
    Burpee Pike Up

    It is a good workout. It lasts the whole time. Make sure to use a frisbee or a real football instead of a mardi gras football.

    We ended the workout with an Ab Ring of Fire.
    Each PAX lead a workout as we went around the Ring of Fire. We did this for two rounds.

    We ended with the usual close out, sending us off with a prayer.
    Looking forward to next time!

  • We Are All Goose – from America’s Best

    “This is important.” Parting words from a random barefoot downranger (Squanto) on a random Thursday weeks ago.
    Those who agree also know what we owe to our Site Q, the O.G.
    When YHC heard Goose was moving, I began some soul searching (but mostly Internet searching) to figure out some way to keep him with us.
    Inspired by Paradox’s face-swap chops, YHC was looking for a life-size Goose-Goose faceswap. While the Internet provided what was wanted, it also provided what was (unknowingly) needed. In the search results, an old blogpost. Four words:
    “We Are All Goose”
    And with that, the beatdown was born.

    Negative DukeRider! The pattern is full. Get your landing gear down and roll that beauti-
    HOLD up, this is “We are all Goose,” not “We are all Dox”
    (Mental note for future beatdown)

    Warmarama amongst the swarm:
    SSH, windmills, arm circles, self love, maybe more, nobody’s reading this part anyway.

    “We are All Goose” lists 4 characteristics of Top Gun’s Goose. YHC translated each virtue to our fearless leader, and we began to cultivate our Goosiness.

    1. He talks the talk.

    This was originally “he’s the class clown,” but the spirit of it is that Goose ensures what he says is correct and inspiring. The exicon provided us Thang 1 here, with “Coach”:
    Thruple up. Man 1 does a pull-up and holds up position while Man 2 runs around the outbuilding. Meanwhile, Man 3 is Coach (Goose) and provides vocal support. Moroccan Night Clubs were added to Coach position for comedic impact.

    2. He’s got his friends backs

    True of Top Gun Goose and undeniably true of F3 Goose. And for Thang 2 the Exicon gives us
    “Tammy Wynette” (Stand by Your Man)

    Partner up. Man1 stands next to Man2 in high plank. Standing partner squats in unison with ground partner’s merkins. Switch places every 10. YHC decided to show some merkin-mercy here and changed it curls and leg lifts for a bit.

    3. He’s a family man

    Thang 3– Here YHC bastardized the Uptown 50 and fused it with Growing Pains (look them up, they’re in there!)

    MOT was typical parental nocturnal motions: Zombie walking, zombie crawling, and crab walk (result of the ninja move required to escape a sleeping kid’s bed)
    30 Little boys at the first stop, 30 big boys at the second, 30 Manmakers back at the start.
    The exact form of the zombie crawl is still unknown, but depending on the specific technique used, it will abrade part of your legs off.
    T-claps to Dox for suffering through his most hated exercises. Props to Pope for his music appreciation.

    Having raised boys to men, now we pivot to raising girls…
    Princess Tea Party (“This is in the Exicon”)
    Partner up, merkins facing one another, high five ya boy at the top.
    Then, back-to-back partner squats.

    (During this portion of the beatdown, Enron and YHC performed an exercise which will henceforth be know as the “Look Away!” and will never be spoken of again.)

    Which brings us to the final Goosy quality:

    4. He plays volleyball with his shirt on

    Shirtless Maverick plays volleyball IN JEANS. Goose keeps it real, is probably then best athlete, and doesn’t have anything to prove to anybody. Dude walks the walk. With quiet confidence.

    PAX divided into 3 teams. While one takes a run, the other 2 teams play volleyball. The catch: anytime the ball hits the ground, BOTH teams do 3 Goosies. Winner stays on and loser runs.

    YHC opened his big fat stupid mouth on one of these return runs:
    “Come on Goose, open up that stride.”
    Big mistake. Never challenge a Goose. YHC is still winded from trying to keep up.

    One last curveball, because when you’re a family man, just when you think you’ve earned a break, your kid says “Hold me.”
    Mountain climbers while Fleetwood Mac’s “Hold Me” plays. Coupon curl with each “hold me.”

    Back to the flag for Top Gun Anthem and Goose tailgate reveal.

    COT, Goose prayed us out.

    This one was for Goose, but it’s really for all of our F3 PAX. I’m inspired by every one of you. This is important.

    SYITG,
    America’s Best

  • 11’s is always a winner – from Kenna Brah

    Warm Ups
    Arm Circles F/B/OH/Seal
    Twists
    Toy Soldiers
    MM Pooper Good Morning
    SSH

    Route 66
    1st Leg – Lunge Between Lamps then 1-11 Merkins
    2nd Leg – Bear Crawl between Lamps then 1-11 Squats
    3rd Leg – Karaoke to Hand Release between maps – 1=11T Merkins
    4th Leg – Share Leadership – Sua Sponte
    ———–

  • DIRTY PAX – from Yankee Joe

    As we near Christmas, you’ll find lost hooligan souls across the world celebrating the gift-giving game of White Elephant, sometimes referred to as Dirty Santa. The men of F3 Thibodaux are no less hooligans, and as such, seven PAX posted at the Den for our first Dirty Pax Exicon Gift Exchange.

    Cardinal, Goose, Pope, Lil’ Cuz, Goldilox, and Honeysuckle all deserved much worse than coal in their stockings. They needed the humility that can only be forged by cringe worthy Christmas songs.
    —————————————
    Warmarama
    The usual suspects with two Christmassy baubles tossed in…

    The Randy – from “A Christmas Story” when lilttle Randy’s coat was so big, he couldn’t move his arms – thus arms straight out to side, palms down, flapping 6 to 12 inches repeatedly.

    Tempo Jump Squats doing our best to mimic Santa jumping down and then up out of a chimney
    —————————————-
    Dirty PAX Setup

    – Pax in a circle with a pile of “gifts” in the middle. Each gift is an exercise.
    – Pax 1 chooses gift, reveals to PAX; PAX then completes exercise
    – Pax 2 chooses to steal Pax 1’s exercise or choose from the gift pile an so on
    – If a Pax gets his gift stolen, he needs to pick a new one, which the PAX then completes

    Rules:
    – Gifts can be stolen only twice before it is locked in
    – For each exercise, the PAX completes the chosen gift AMRAP for two minutes to a carefully curated musical stink bomb of YHC’s choice.

    Objective:
    – The gift/exercise you end up with is the exercise you will do AMRAP for the last five minutes of the beatdown. So, being strategic about which exercise you hold at the end is essential.

    NOTE: This did not happen. YHC was having too much fun with the (awful) playlist along with the ridiculousness of two-minute HIITs.

    Potential Gifts:

    burpees
    mtn climbers
    SSH
    gas pumpers
    J-Lo’s
    jump squats
    apollo ono’s
    high knee imperial walkers (for speed)
    shark hops – plank jack on each hop (3 per rep)
    25 yrd suicide ascending and descending
    hand release merkins
    25 yard bear crawl/crab walk back
    T-Bomb
    sweat angels
    The Bruce and the Cait
    Goosey’s
    hydraulic humpers
    sandstorm
    Jiminy Crickets
    star crunches

    =================================

    How It Went Down (in no particular order)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: The Bruce and The Cait (Merkin with one leg crossed over the other; switch legs at bottom of merkin)

    Song: “Mistletoe” by Justin Bieber (nothing like serenading “shawty” on Christmas)

    *You will find further commentary at the end of the blast
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hand Release Merkins

    Song: “Christmas In Hollis” by Run D.M.C.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Shark Hops (like a dolphin hop, but on each “hop” do a plank jack; the dolphin hop is dead)

    Song: “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” by Elmo and Patsy
    ——————————————–
    GIft: Goosey’s (bonnie blair into a jump squat; after the shark hops, these were especially miserable)

    Song: “What You Want for Christmas” by Quad City D.J.s (this is a real banger and should be on everyone’s Christmas playlist)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Sandstorm (full vertical, jump repeatedly with arms straight up)

    Song: As Lil’ Cuz and others pointed out, the song should have been Sandstorm by Darude, but alas, ‘tain’t the season. So, “Drummer Boy” by Justin Bieber and (wait for it) Busta Rhymes
    ——————————————–
    Gift: J-Lo’s

    Song: “Last Christmas” by Wham (a guilty pleasure of many, most notably, Montana)
    ——————————————–
    Gift: T-Bomb (crab position, shoot legs straight, feet together; then legs straight and spread, then feet back together and legs straight, then back to crab)

    Song: “¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?” By Augie Rios

    *This gift was intended to be the exercise of Cardinal’s dreams. It ended up being a nightmare for all of us.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Hydraulic Humpers (monkey humper, at the NADIR of the humper, double genuflect, then finish the humper)

    Song: “Holiday Road” by Lindsey Buckingham

    *There was initial debate between El Ganzo and YHC over the definition of ‘nadir’, however, Honeysuckle spoke his truth and the matter was settled. Then there was debate about the mechanics of the humper -again – from the head honko, which then opened the gates for the rest of the PAX to start honking.

    Once we started and achieved some sort of rhythm, the mechanics fell into place. These were brilliant…with the genuflects at the NADIR of the humper, your glutes and quads are engaged the entire time. The hydraulic humper brought us to the NADIR of the beatdown. I wasn’t sure we would recover. The nadir line is that we need to see these again.
    ——————————————–
    Gift: Apollo Ono’s

    Song: “All I Really Want for Christmas” by Lil’ John feat. Kool Aid Man
    ——————————————–

    There was a last gift, but I can’t remember what it was. What’s important is that it was accompanied by the musical stylings of “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by NYSNC.

    YHC called off the torture (the exercises were kinda tough too) with three minutes remaining. To finish, the PAX did 25 yard suicides in increments of five, then once at the 25-yard mark, crab walk back to start.

    COT and Pope prayed us out.

    Though my timing was off a bit on this one, I couldn’t catch my breath from laughing so hard…well, that and the Goosey’s.

    ===========================

    A Quick Cup of Jeaux:

    I just assume the conversation between Bieber and his producers went like this:

    Producers: Hey Lil’ J, we were thinking…well…in consideration of the fact that you sing like a girl, and that you have blond streaks in your hair, and that you wear low hip, tapered, skinny jeans, and that you’re like 12 years old…

    Bieber: Guiltyyyyy!

    Producers: Yeahhh…Well, we’d like you to change some of your lyrics to stay more on brand.

    Bieber: Ummm…ok. Should I start lifting weights? Wear straight fit jeans?

    Producers: Soo yeah…actualy, we’d like you to replace the word “girl” in your songs with “shawty.”

    Bieber: Aww yeahhh…Hizzy to the yizzy!

    Producers: Also, any chance you’d be willing to drive a Prius?

  • Burpeepalooza – from Bolt

    YHC took a late night Q spot and sprinted from the car to the flag while giving the disclaimer at 5:29/30 (finding out post workout that it dashed KennaBrah’s hopes to Q) with a call to the pax to circle up midfield for warmorama featuring Frac’s favorite song and the usual stuff.

    The Thang: mosey to goal line and plank across the end zone for plank hurdles: pax one sprints to the 10 yd. Line and planks while pax two sprints/hurdles pax one, assuming high plank 10 yds. further awaiting all subsequent pax to repeat all the way to the opposite goal.

    Mosey to the playground for Morning Calls: all pax high plank along the border and each pax goes to pull up bar for a called five count whereby pax merkin the reps and retime to plank until all pax do pull ups.

    Mosey to the gym parking where YHC shared its Burpeepalooza; this pleased Bogey…immensely—not. A playlist designed with each song featuring a word/catchphrase that implores all pax to burpee and then return to a given movement (SSH, IW, Air press, Hillbillies). After song two made our legs very heavy (YHC also forgot a phrase initiated the burpee and not the word he incorrectly gave, leading to lots of confusion and even more mumblechatter—so this is what being a chaos monkey is like!), YHC offered the pax a choice by majority rule: more burpees or decadie of pain. Decadie it is: 1 min Al Gore followed by 30 mountain climbers. Surprise! Back to Burpeepalooza followed by a second round of decadie (this is where four “water breaks” in a row were rolled and we don’t do that crap in F3) so we finally landed on (2) 30x American Hammers. One final burpeepalooza song followed by a mosey to the flag, which YHC sprinted, causing enough heavy breathing to make Mahatma and Bogey wonder if I was ok.
    COT, honored as always, men!

  • Operation Mystery at The Gloom – from Charmin

    The Gloom welcomed the PAX with open arms, a chilly breeze, and the distinct feeling that today’s workout would be anything but ordinary. After the obligatory disclaimer, the PAX divided into their respective groups – the Ruckers, the Runners, and the enigmatic KnOTers.

    The Thang:

    1. Ruckers’ Ruckmageddon:

    The Ruckers set off with the weight of the world on their shoulders, literally. Their backpacks filled with bricks, sandbags, paincakes, and a mysterious concoction of items designed to keep them guessing, the Ruckers marched into the shadows. Paces were swapper, rucks were shared, and we all tried keeping up with (Usain) Bolt.

    2. Runners’ Sprint-a-thon:

    The Runners, with their sleek running shoes and GPS watches, bolted into the distance. The route was straightforward , but somehow the Runners managed to take a detour through the local donut shop. Rumors of an impromptu coffee break spread like wildfire. Corralling the fleet wsd as effective as trying to herd cats.

    3. KnOTers’ Mystery Madness:

    Now, the KnOTers, the mysterious sect of F3, quietly appeared from the shadows. Armed with ropes, carabiners, and whatever else they keep behind the telephone pole, they set out on an unknown mission. What they do in the gloom remains a mystery, for they are like F3’s own secret agents, vanishing into thin air after the other groups have long returned.

    COT:

    The Circle of Trust brought laughter, confusion, and a sense of accomplishment. YHC, still trying to figure out where the Runners went off course, encouraged the PAX to embrace the mystery of the gloom. Sometimes the unplanned detours lead to the best stories.

    Announcements:

    “Q School” for the Runners next week – a crash course in map reading and avoiding temptation.
    The KnOTers invite you to join their secret society; inquire within.
    Ruckers, next time, check your backpacks for stealthy squirrels. They seem to enjoy hitching a ride.

    Moleskin:

    In the end, the Ruckers bore the weight, the Runners found donuts, and the KnOTers… well, who knows? The Gloom witnessed another memorable F3 beatdown, leaving the PAX with sore muscles, mysterious grins, and the anticipation of the next adventure in the shadows.