F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Balance – from Charmin

    The theme of this week for YCH is Balance.

    When YHC arrived slightly behind Vagabond, in an effort to make small talk, asked him if he was stretching, and was met with a reply of “Nope, just getting all my farts out.”

    There was the normal mix of runners and KnOTers, along with YHC who was both, a good mix of running and KnOTing.

    Awards were given for “Most farts during a run” to Vag even after his pre-workout release, and to YHC from Scantron for “Best Rolled KnOT Straps”.

    Back at the proverbial shovel flag, Kennah-Brah directs Scantron to start counting off, forcing YHC to be the Q and hence write the back blast; typical Chaos Monkey.

    For those who are interested, this is the prayer we ended COT with:

    Breathe in me, O Holy Spirit, that my thoughts may all be holy.
    Act in me, O Holy Spirit, that my work too may be holy.
    Draw my heart, O Holy Spirit, that I love but what is holy.
    Strengthen me, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
    Guard me, then, O Holy Spirit, that I always may be holy.

  • It’s complicated – from Kenna Brah

    At the flags the PAX opted for a wind shield so we moseyed to the JPAS where we proceeded to warm up:

    Inch Worm Merkins x 10
    Old Mountain Man Pooper Good Mornings x10
    Arm Circle Circuit x 10

    Thang 1 –
    With coupons – Full body complex
    1 rep each, then 2, then 5,10,15,20
    SUMO Squat
    Row
    Curl
    OHP
    DO-Ceps ( Because there is no TRI, only DO)
    Negative Curl

    Thang 2 –
    11’s
    L/R Leg Wife Pleasers
    Run to top of stairs
    L/R leg step ups
    Run back

    Mosey back to flag
    COT

  • 9: For/19 – from Bolt

    YHC pre-blasted a call for HC the night before as the plan was developing to gauge headcount and in true F3NOLA fashion there’s was minimal response so it was pleasantly surprising to see the mid-field circle grow to 10 pax as the warmorama began with our much beloved theme song (I know Frac secretly has it on “repeat” as he drives to work his 2, soon to be 3 days a week–COMPLIANCE!).
    Abe SLOWgodas, SSH, seal/OH claps, tie fighters, self love, mosey to playground to complete warm ups with Morning Calls. Mosey to the rock pile advising pax to select a medium rock they could do lots of reps with, where YHC laid out IN CLEAR DETAIL, that we would do 9 (on 4/19, where’s Rudy when I need him!?) consecutive exercises of 25 reps each OYO and as you finished either plank or SSH on the six.
    OH press
    Squats
    Big boys 
    Curls
    Lunges
    American Hammers
    Tricep press
    Calf raises
    Manmakers
    The mumblechatter was considerable and distracted the pax from executing properly because after going through the entire list of 9 YHC reiterated the first three as we began to kick us off and announced I’d call them out as we progressed. Some nameless pax (KB/Mr R) were planking after the first 75 reps which created confusion for other pax and elevated the mumblechatter—must get back on the rails. We continued through the next six exercises without much incident and considerably less mumblechatter, especially as the final task of 25 man-makers loomed large (grunts replaced words—success). Round two each pax was issued one of the same nine exercises and led the circle of pax in cadence then the next pax so all 9 are done without stopping: 1 rep each, which Bogey took issue with as not being worth it and also complained about the getting down/up which (was BY DESIGN); along the way we learned Mr. Rogers was never given the you tube link for counting cadence. Subsequent rounds were 2 then 5 then 10 reps per exercise before the next pax led in cadence with slight pauses between rounds to catch our breath.
    Next was 5 minute EMOM of what else—10 burpees! This is when Bogey decided to use the burpee rule thinking he was gaming the system yet he simply added more burpees to the count. We finished with protractors.

  • Wednesday Warrior Recon Ruck – from Smooth Operator

    Wednesday warrior- recon ruck

    Maneater
    Smooth Operator

    YHC showed up to the Colosseum after a night of slim HC’s. Thankfully YHC could count on Maneater to be ready to hit the pavement. YHC didn’t have much inclination to do weighted merkins or squats this morning. What YHC had in store this morning was a need to know what was in the other side of those buildings. YHC had been there a hundred times but never noticed the wall in front of Geaux fish which would be perfect for a bout of ascending testicles. Also YHC never noticed the stair way in front the hospital which would be perfect for box jumps. Wellness center entrance is perfect for some freak nasty’s and for all things good in life YHC looked on at the parking garage and wondered could Wet tap get me into there. Alas this would be for a different beatdown but the wheels have all the grease they need to be turning now.

    YHC set off and crossed in front of Flanigans and Geaux fish staying tight to the buildings to look out for some potential future bodily destruction, we ducked across the hospitals entrance and continued on past the wellness center and around the large outdoor expansion. We past the tennis courts and got on the walking trail leading behind the Did, we past by the campus police station, chick fil a and finally by the football field and got back to the flag at 0600.

    Topics discussed
    – How to become a better evangelist
    – The art of raising boys into men
    – How to keep your spouse perpetually happy
    – How to get back in shape in a matter of days ( hint it involves rucking)
    – How to become a better leader
    – The benefits of tent camping over camper camping

    COT and we prayed out and rolled out. Thanks to Maneater for showing up and knocking out 2.25 miles with YHC this morning.

  • Tour de Tabata – from Safety Valve

    7 HIMs met in the gloom expecting to learn something from the professor this morning. Most looked a bit bewildered, and perhaps regretful for getting out for bed to experience a double valve feature this week. With YJ put on injured reserve, YHC decided he would offer his services to the PAX.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Mountain climbers
    Imperial walkers
    Willy mays hays
    Arm circles forward and backward

    Thang – starting at the lion

    YHC has been frightened by the cardio fitness of the PAX lately. Since RCR in February the cardio has slacked off. With the exception of Lil Cuz, YHC has not been impressed. We tried to remedy some of that today. Since YHC would rather be next to AB while doing gas pumps than complete a 10 minute dialogue between each thang, today’s beatdown was designed to have as little mumble chatter as possible.

    Tabata
    5 minutes – 20 seconds all out 10 seconds rest
    Alternating burpees and mountain climbers

    Mosey to Sherwin Williams parking lot

    Tabata
    5 minutes – 20 seconds all out 10 seconds rest
    Alternating Merkins and jump squats

    Mosey to “the garden”. Interesting smells coming from this place today. Not sure if the veggies were rotting or someone was trying to ferment cabbage for wine making purposes.

    Tabata
    5 minutes – 20 seconds all out 10 seconds rest
    Alternating SSH and squats

    Mosey to far end of the reservoir to Edward Jones parking lot. If anyone needs a good financial advisor, they have a nice building and lots of parking.

    Tabatha
    5 minutes – 20 seconds all out 10 seconds rest
    Alternating V ups and LBCs

    Mosey back to lion. At this point Enron was so enraged with AB’s and YHC’s Edward Jones comments, he let loose all his rage at once. AB said that he could even taste it.

    5 minutes – 30ish seconds all out 15ish seconds rest
    Suicides between sidewalks

    0600 came, COT commenced, The rugby jersey went from suckle to smooth for his consistent leadership on Warrior Wednesday, YHC received the pimp from Enron for some unknown reason.

    Thanks for showing up. Always a pleasure to lead.

  • Fort Knox – from Paradox

    YHC recently listened to an excellent podcast episode breaking down the United States Bullion Depository , better known as Fort Knox. YHCs working knowledge of Fort Knox before this was at about a 6th grade level and while I was slightly disappointed to learn there was neither a moat nor sharks with lazer beams (I meannn not even ill tempered sea bass?!), I was however , fascinated by the robust layers of security present. If one presents such a security the obvious response is “well what WOULD it take to break in?”. YHC loves a good heist film so it was only a matter of time before I began to devise a plan …and as the plan took form it was much more clear that it was a question of “ WHO would I need?” rather than “ WHAT I would need “

    A team..but not just any team . A diverse group of high impact men with particular sets of skills. It just so happened that 9 of these very men showed up at the Stage Tuesday morning ready for action.

    It went a little something like this….

    Duke!! Get your ski mask and roll the footage.
    I love it when a plan comes together!

    Warmup

    We got down to some usual warmups and it was clear this was not the ole chatter gang. Most days this would unsettle YHC to the point of provoking white bean schisms but today it was just the tone I was looking for.
    These men were lazer focused and had the fresh pain from the tax man in their hearts.

    Bumper Mosey to start of Richmans Loop where YHC laid out todays mission.
    It was Simple. We were going to Fort Knox and we were going to get our money back.

    Right on cue Popeyes old military buddy landed an Apache helicopter in the finance parking lot. Let’s just say you can make things happen when Sean Penn owes you a favor .
    We loaded up and headed for north Kentucky.

    Objective #1
    Aerial drop and debrief

    Introduced “The Sky Mile” (say it with a north La draw and it sounds like my favorite magazine)

    Fort Knox is located on a 109k acre base so we couldn’t just drive up with our Platinum f150 and ask directions to the vault.
    We would enter from the sky.

    To stretch on the way we did 20 Aussie sweat angels (feels like sky diving ) and 20 ranger merkins (we need to atkeast look like military) x 4 rounds and we added a golden trivia debrief with a burpee penalty. It made for quite a festive chopper ride.

    Trivia

    1. Name Only President to see inside of Fort Knox -FDR
    **some mutiny early here as SV softly said the correct answer immediately and AB discussed the virtue of 12 other presidents before coming back to trusting his safety valve with FDR.

    2. Gold is one of 4 transition metal in group 11 on the periodic table. Name the other three. (Copper silver, roentgeniyn)

    YHC wasn’t letting the pax get away with out burpees so Roentygenium was added as an Maneater chemistry defense. It worked like a charm and we did 7 burpees.

    3.) The “gold watch” and the “Bonnie situation” are chapters in this 1994 movie

    AB yawned , answered Pulp Fiction correctly and moseyed on. He didn’t just grow up in the 90s …he IS the 90s. No trivia is safe.

    At the drop zone we hit a dead sprint with one last debrief.

    4.) A 1995 spy movie , a hit N64 video game and the nickname they call safety valve when he will only see cash patients.

    GOLDENEYE (several light chuckles were dispersed)

    We were on the ground now and the defense was just getting warmed up .

    Objective 2: Electric Fence

    The outermost perimeter of Fort Knox is surrounded by a 20 foot barbed wire electric fence. No big deal, YHC depended on the sound advice from Homer criminals that informed him you could bypass this with jumper cables and cut the area in between…that’s science brother. We did this and thin slid right in.

    “Electric Slide” by the Hit Team
    Lateral Slide on the song
    Star Jumper Cables on “Electric”
    Apollo Ohno on “Boogie Woogie”

    We lost White Meat half way through the fence and had to hook the jumper cables to his shin splints just to pull him through.

    Objective 3 : Landmines
    Once inside the fence there is 500 yards of heavily dispersed landmines. We had Honeysuckle pull a dark web search here and the only plausible way to survive a Minefield is obviously single file bearcrawl.

    Bearcrawl Indian Run
    1 lap – last man 1 merkin to to front.
    Made 1 loop around the track and bears were turning into Linda’s left and right until Ladybug made an epic bearcrawl sprint to reignite the mission. T-claps.

    Objective 4 : Guards

    Now we are on the front porch of the vault house with one major external obstacle left. Guards.
    But if there’s one thing Goose has trained us in , it’s the distracting power of music. We needed something special here , something so bad you would lay down your machine gun on duty and cover your ears. let’s see …late 90s…TRL…frosted tips…pointless lyrics…puca shell necklaces …bingo…

    Music – SmashMouth “AllStar”
    On Song: Step ups
    Chorus – Box jumps

    The legs were a little wobbly but we walked right in the frontier unscathed.

    Finale
    Objective 5 : The Vault

    What’s left before we see the 300 billion worth of gold ?

    Oh just a 21 inch thick steel vault door and the most intricate pass code systems ever created including 4 seperate individuals who have only a portion of the code each.

    First things first, the vault door.
    Reported to be able to withstand an atomic blast, drill or a blow torch but the pax of F3 Thibodaux had something stronger. ABs last 3 meals included gas station fish sticks, a nachos belle grande, and the rotolos garlic special aka the rotor rooter. This led to a synergistic bonding in his colon that would have scared even the creatures of Roentgeniun and one gas pump later we had a man sized hole melting in the vault door. We all have our gifts.

    And now for that pesky code so the alarm doesn’t trigger. .

    Split into teams and each team goes to 1 of 4 stations.
    Each station has 1 trivia question and one exercise. 1 minute AMRAP while you chew on the trivia question. Once you have an answer fill in the blank and move to your next station.

    Your answers should combine for an 8 digit code .
    Answer after so you can keep score at home!

    Station #1
    Number of Medals won by Jesse Owens in 1936 Olympics

    Apollo Ohnos

    Station #2 – they weren’t counting gold but they were counting plenty of cards in this 2008 film about MiT students gaming a popular casino card game.

    No cheat merkins

    Station #3
    The year the Golden state warriors were beat by Toronto Raptors in NBA finals.

    Bobby Hurleys

    Station #4
    Bonnie Blair set the world record in the 500 m speed skate in the Calgary Olympics in this year.

    Bonnie Blair’s

    ANSWER :

    04211988
    Or
    04/21/1988

    Hmmmm…
    Interesting date

    -HoneySuckle and ladybug took first place with 3/4 correct.
    -Valve with honorable mention as he was solo with YHC and there were very few hints.
    -a certain unnamed optometrist had issues with 12 pt times new Roman font and boyyy that presbyopia continues to strike our 40 north club. Ya hate to SEE it.

    We were now successfully inside the vault just as our own 6am alarms began to go off …

    Counting , Naming and Rugby was given to HoneySuckle from Ladybug for his puzzle skills.

    COT and Honeysuckle prayed us out

    Had a blast putting this one together , thanks for breaking and entering with me .
    It’s always a privilege to lead you men.

    Post Script

    Year of our Lord 2124
    Journal entry from Lil Cuz the 6th

    …generation after generation of F3 Thibodaux pax trained to break into Fort Knox. It was our yearly rite of passage to test fitness and a sharp mind. There finally came a time for the real mission. They had gotten a tip off from the great great grandson of HoneySuckle (he just happened to have a vaguely defined government job) that a long lost treasure had been found.

    After breezing through the defenses they stood in the vault of Fort Knox. The bright reflection of gold cast on their faces as they walked between towering rows of gold plates. Each man considering how much one 26.5 lb bar could change his life. But they stayed true. They strode past the Constitution, brushed aside priceless original paintings and didn’t even glance at the Magna Carta. Then, they found it.
    Nestled in a bin of gold and jewels it was wrapped in its dusty leather casing with tidy stencil spray paint letters on the front …

    “The Story of the Bayou Pax and the unabridged Monologues of Yankee Jeaux the 1st: Volume 1”

    They tucked it safely in the flying douche wagon and left the treasures of this earth behind for good.

    You see , Their fathers and their father’s fathers had already handed down the real treasure to them during each beatdown:

    Love your Creator, Lead your family, Strengthen the man next to you and always be grateful for the hidden treasures in each day.

    “For where your treasure is , there also your heart will be “
    Luke 12:34

    SYITG
    Dox

  • What’s That Smell? – from Space Cowboy

    Although I arrived 15 min early at The Goldmine on this warm humid morning, I was greeted by @Charmin who was evidently eager to start the beatdown. We were soon joined by @Frac Sac and @Bolt. Promptly at 5:30, I gave the disclaimer and we moseyed to the pad for warmups.
    Slow Squats x 10
    SSH x 20
    Slow Abe Vigodas x 10
    Imperial Walkers x 10
    Seal Claps x 15
    Forward Arm Circles x 10
    Backwards Arm Circles x 10

    As we wrapped up our warmups, @Boo Boo conveniently came running out of the woods (we were afraid to ask what he was doing) to form our group of 5 and we continued to mosey to the JPAX. We retrieved our coupons (cinder blocks) from under the stairs and proceeded to the front area of the JPAX.

    All exercises with Coupon
    Curls x 25
    Overhead Press x 25
    Rows x 25
    Flutter Kicks 2-1 x 25
    Squats x 25
    Back Lunges 1-1 x 25
    Mountain Climbers x 25
    Wife Pleasers x 25

    We put the coupons aside and proceeded to the starting point on the path that circles the JPAX.

    1 Burpee at every light pole (about 25 total) with a mix of run, lunges, back pedal, and karaoke between each pole.

    As we entered the path at the rear of the JPAX, @Charmin yelled, “what’s that smell?”, as we were simultaneously hit by a strong wave of fragrance during mid-burpee. Without missing a beat, @Frac Sac, our Kennarie Ridge horticulturist expert, identified it as Jasmine. Jasmine’s effect on us was immediate as I noticed @Frac Sac and @Bolt “bolting” to the front of the group, @Boo Boo doing 2 burpees instead of 1, and @Charmin performing the cleanest form burpees ever seen aka the Baryshnikov of Burpees. As we concluded the round, we headed back to the coupons.

    All Exercises with Coupons
    Curls x 25
    Overhead Press x 25
    Block Merkins x 25
    BBSU x 25
    Flutter Kicks 2-1 x 25
    Dips x 25

    Maybe Jasmine’s effect was greater than expected since the PAX asked for another round of “1 Burpee per light pole” on the JPAX path. I obliged and we did another round with Jasmine to the PAX’s satisfaction and ended the round with Burpee speedbumps which includes 10 light poles in immediate succession.

    With time expiring, we headed to the flag to conclude with our COT.

  • 5 Rounds of Zack Attack – from Mayhem

    Grabbed the Q night before as Mr. Rogers was going to be out of town

    5:30am disclaimer provided
    Light crowd, with a train in the background before a PAX was seen on the track and another took his own path, as I believe he generally does in life

    Mosey to the east side of the track

    Warmup: GSG (grass slow grabbers), AC, RAC, MC, PPP, CC (crab cakes), SSH

    Informed fellow PAX that I would be sticking with site Q’s theme of fallen hero workouts
    Let’s remember Zachary Tellier, killed in combat 9/29/07 in Afghanistan

    The Thang:

    Rd 1
    10 burpees
    5-10-15-20 shuttle run

    Rd 2
    10 burpees
    25 merkins
    5-10-15-20 shuttle run

    Rd 3
    10 burpees
    25 merkins
    50 lunges
    5-10-15-20 shuttle run

    Rd 4
    10 burpees
    25 merkins
    50 lunges
    100 abs (50 BB, 50 LBC)
    5-10-15-20 shuttle run

    Rd 5
    10 burpees
    25 merkins
    50 lunges
    100 abs (100 LBC)
    150 squats
    5-10-15-20 shuttle run

    Mary: FK, WP, DC, crab merkin (no Fast Tax, we cannot, okay fine, then armadillo thing), TS, and something by HG

    Mosey to the flag
    COT

    Fellowship of Christian Athletes luncheon at Metairie Country Club May 10th @ 11am, see #mumblechatter in SLACK

    Several special intentions raised up
    And a prayer to be intentional in our actions the rest of the week

    Glad to unexpectedly lead!

  • S&M is for KnOTers Too… – from Bolt

    As the magic hour struck Vagabond took off as the lone runner and the KnOTers joined the ‘Mat-ers for S&M. KnOT walk the track path to the pavilion where we focused on hammies and hippies (IT band). COT.

  • Tax day – fit rich – from Safety Valve

    YHC showed up to the Stage with a lone soul awaiting glory in the gloom. Cardinal was there by himself, likely contemplating his decision to wake up this morning as he beat the Q there. Dox is finally seeing things from his neighbors perspective and showed up tardy today…because who really needs to do SSH. Cuz, Popeye, and white meat decided to be the cool kids and show up not too early, but also courteous enough to not be late.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial walkers
    Willy Mayes Hayes
    Mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Cherry pickers
    High knees and butt kicks (the correct way)

    No one likes paying taxes, and most PAX really do not enjoy when YHC Qs a beatdown. Those things together sound great to me, so that’s what we did today.

    Thang

    Taxman by the Beatles – SSH for duration, burpees anytime taxman or taxman was said.

    We then set forth on a Mosey to Rich Man’s loop to start making our payments to the taxman.

    Quarterly estimated payments – none of them are fun, but the last one hurts the most. Also, you put in a lot of work between the quarterly payments, only to give more back. After a mosey to rich mans loop, we used the loop as our playground to pay estimated tax payments to Uncle Jeaux.
    – Diamonds/Four corners:
    – 7 burpees at corner 1
    – 7 burpees and 14 merkins at corner 2
    – 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 big boy sit ups at corner 3
    – 7 burpees, 14 merkins, 21 big boy sit ups and 28 squat jumps at corner 4

    Crunching the numbers
    After finishing our mile mosey back to the “flag”, we finally made it to crunch time in terms of taxes. We made our payments. We filled out our forms. Checked them over numerous times. It is now April 15th – the deadline to submit is here. Crunch time ensues:
    7s with V ups and Big Boy Sit Ups, bear crawl and crab walk as mode of transport

    Penalties and calculated interest
    We submitted our forms. Five years later, we get a letter in the mail explaining that we messed up and actually owed more than we coughed up. Plus, they want the interest that they lost over that time period. How nice. PAX members were chosen “at random” to choose one of five dry erase boards as we are audited. Each board was flipped over, so the PAX had no idea what was to come. The boards all contained one exercise plus an additional “interest exercise” that made the first one hurt more.

    Possible choices:
    20 Freak nasties then 20 merkins
    20 Squat jumps then 20 Monkey Humpers
    V ups then hold six inches for 1 minute
    20 Biceps curls then single arm bent over row with coupon (20 on each side)
    20 Overhead press then 20 Derkins

    6 o’clock came, COT commenced, Dox has two Q this week for something “special”, Cuz formed words and prayed us out.

    Moleskine:
    In our careers, we make a salary and we pay lots of that money back with the hope that something good will ever come of it. Maybe we will always keep waiting. But, after seeing how much of our salary goes to taxes, it may then make us want to work longer hours so that we can pocket more ourselves. Always remember though, the more you make, the more you give back.

    What if we were happy with only what we needed monetarily? Nothing left over to have a large house, a nice car, or to eat out every night of the week. How much time would we be able to free up in our lives for others if we lived on just what we needed. Perhaps a greater sign of well being and worth is the tax bill we build up if we were taxed on the time we gave others. Give some thought to it. Take that extra day of vacation off to be with family because it matters. Take the afternoon off to help your parents with something at their house or to help a friend in need. I will always regret not taking that afternoon off to see my little girl in her Easter bonnet parade. That will only happen once in her life. In ten years, I may not remember why I had to miss it, but I’ll remember that I did.

    Thanks for showing up men. Always a pleasure to lead.