F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • 24142 Venti – from Sea Man

    A gentle breeze tampered the humidity. The Pax sojurned up through Tulane and the Cemetery Route! Despite the coolish wx Bad Moon still managed to sweat so much Star Bucks mop team wanted to block his entry. Also had Fredo, Kotter his way back to the Pax! For those interested we are 1 month away from Venti’ 1yr Birthday, and the Venti has been enjoying the inclusion of 2.0s!

  • Cindy Workout from Houston – from Charmin

    Being that YHC posted #DownRange last week in North Houston (NoHo) and there wasn’t a Q signed up yet as of Tuesday night, a cross region rinse & repeat presented itself as an option.

    WARMUP:  

    10 – Side Straddle Hops
    10 – Abe Vigodas
    10 – Grass Grabbers

    It was here that our regional Nantan, FartSack, decided to join us, so in his Honor, we all did 5 burpees.

    10 – Mountain Man Poopers  

    10 Arm Circles F/B/SC/OHC/MNC

    Mosey out to JPAX

    THE THANG:  

    6 Stations 3:30 minutes each

    Arms
    3×10 – Curls
    3×10 – Shoulder Press
    3×10 – Up Right Rows

    Calf Raises
    3×10 – Reg
    3×10 – Out
    3×10 – In

    Thigh
    3×10 – Lunge
    3×10 – Step Ups
    3×10 – Imperial Walkers

    Butt
    3×10 – Goblet Squats
    3×10 – Monkey Humpers
    3×10 – Jump Squats

    Abs
    3×10 – LBC’s
    3×10 – WWII Sit-ups
    3×10 – V-Ups

    Chest
    3×10 – Cindy 1 Arm Merkin
    3×10 – Merkins
    3×10 – Wide Merkins  

    Recover  

    Put up coupons and head back to the Pad

    Head Exercises – Each Pax gives a piece of advice and a 5 Count exercise.  

    Ended with 5 Burpees OYO.

  • Count it out in Months – from Squints

    Not sure if we’ve met. I’m JBL Flip 6, but you can call me JB, that’s what my cool master calls me. We’ve been together for almost 2 years now. That’s a really long time. I was being held tight Saturday morning at 0630 and could feel the surge of my partner that was connecting us. My partner is an iphone. Not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous ‘cause he gets all the attention. But when he needs to be heard, I’m front and center! I started dropping my jams from my partner, which was 90s alternative rock. Not my favorite, but I still dig it. I was thinking my master was about to drop the hammer….then this guy Squints starts talking. He gave a great disclaimer then took us to the peristyle and got us warmed up. I’ve never seen pax move to “I’m just a Girl” from No Doubt like they did. It’s no Xanadu, but it is what it is. This Squints guy knows his stuff, he must be well experienced in this Q leadership thing. With the warmup over, I’m sure my main man is going to take charge. Then Squints says let’s mosey. I don’t know what’s happening. I’m picked up and off we go behind the coffee place where I’ve seen guys clean up in the past. I guess they don’t do that anymore. It looks clean and they probably still take credit. I need to dial up a tune on consistency, or maybe iphone can do an ebook about doing hard things.
    Squints leads the pax to the island behind the coffee shop where some benches are located. I get set on one next to iphone. I’m having a good time just blaring out some Chris Cornell. He’s the best. I hear Squints ask my master if he knows how old he is in months. There’s no way he knows, he’s not very smart. I’m 24 months, he can’t be much more. I was right, he didn’t know. So Squints tells them he designed a routine that will total the months of age of my master. I thought I heard 650 months, but I must have misunderstood. My master is deaf, which apparently was passed on to me. They did bear crawls over 2 bridges, ‘mericans, reverse sweat angels, air presses in the peoples chair, step ups, and jump squats. Doing that for 5 rounds is supposed to total somewhere around 650 reps. I probably missed something because I got left at the island. I was eventually brought back at the end when everyone was finished. I was ready for my fearless leader to do something super original. Squints hands the Q off for the last evolution! Yes, this is gonna be awesome! My idol takes us back toward the great lawn and stops at the light poles in the parking lot. I got my hopes up for nothing. I forgot how disappointing this guy is. He’s certainly no Squints. We do a route 54 with burpees, which was 9 at the first pole, 9 at the second, then 8, then 7, and so on. That totals 54 when all done. Once complete, they did some Mary where I was in the middle, which is where I belong, then back to the flag. If this were a Q vs Q, Squints would have won for sure.

  • A to ‘ – from America’s Best

    YHC arrived early (15 seconds before Goose), full of stoke for this beatdown, but mostly for da playlist. Had one full Hawaii playlist ready, but last night, no reason, YHC switched ‘em out for one playlist of all cover songs. And, like one log cruising over da waterfall in slow motion, they were glorious. . .

    Suddenly, something even more exciting:
    “Hey guys, this is Austin.” White Meat had brought an FNG.
    My brain squirrel jumped on the thinkin’ wheel, and the gears that push the struts that crank the wheels on the train of thought began to turn.
    Austin—>Austin Powers—> Richie Cunningham … but that would have to wait.
    It was time for: The Disclaimer.
    YHC could not remember all the points of the disclaimer. Luckily Paradox, playing Cyrano to my Christian, stood right next to me feeding me the lines. I tried to talk over him, but we all know the futility of that. I swear I didn’t see this coming when I started this analogy, but Paradox is the perfect Cyrano due to their shared love of Roxan(n)e.

    Standard Warmarama
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, William Mayweather Hayes, Mountain Climbers, Arm Circles, cherry pickers

    Bumper mosey, but there was no bumper! YHC became disoriented and ran in a wandering loop… really all part of the strategy to get to higher mileage… more on that later.

    Da Kine:

    Many months ago, Enron gifted us all with an A to Z beatdown, assigning an exercise to each letter of the alphabet. YHC immediately recognized the value of this “Rosetta Stone of Exicon” and began planning an homage to (ripoff of) that beatdown.

    And so da kine would be the same as Enron’s, but using the Hawaiian alphabet, which contains only 13 letters (if you count the okina, which I did).
    They would be:
    A – Aloha, Merkins (which are just merkins)
    E – Elbow plank
    I – Imperial Walkers
    O – Okole Rollers (BBS)
    U – Upright Rows
    H – Humuhumunukunukuapua’a Humpers
    K – Kurls
    L – Lunges
    M – Merkins
    N – No, Oh Nos
    P – Push-up Pimp Merkins (which are just merkins)
    W – WW2 Sit ups
    ‘ – Prime Time Merkins

    At the last moment, YHC added that designation to the Humpers, challenging anyone to pronounce the state fish of Hawaii. Pope nailed it immediately, completely demoralizing YHC. Mahalo, Disney.

    Because the number of letters is fewer, the number of reps would be higher. YHC loves to test the brainpower of the PAX, so I let everyone know that the number would be 49, and asked if anyone knew the significance of that number. Almost in unison, the PAX fell into my trap. “Because Hawaii is the 49th state.”
    No! No no no. Trick question! Hawaii is the 50th state, and we will do 50 reps of each.
    I can only assume these dudes are streaming “Hawaii 4-9” on WebFlix.

    Like Captain Cook, we circled 2 laps around the island between sets. Sometime during one of those laps, YHC had the epiphany that I had chosen a playlist of all covers, and WetTap fartsacked his Q yesterday, remaining under his covers. This beatdown would be dedicated to WetTap.

    The PAX impressively stuck together through the first 3 or 4 letters, then began to stretch into a greater distance between men. It was interesting to see how each of us had our strengths and weaknesses. My biggest weakness? I care too much.

    We ended with more music trivia, and the PAX performed well, racking up only 7 penalty burpees for missed answers. A final double-or-nothing question was offered and quickly accepted: “Who is the music playlist dedicated to, and why?”
    Goose almost nailed it (“because we covered his Q yesterday”). Actually, his logic was better than mine. Anyway, we did 10 burpees.

    COT
    FNG became who he was meant to be: Huffy.
    Rugby Jersey of Competitive Prowess bestowed upon Honeysuckle (anything to try and slow that man down)

    Paradox prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    AB

    AB Sees: That sometimes you gotta rule wit one iron fist. ‘Specially when you might be wrong.
    Aftah da beatdown, my Apple Watch wen read 2.89 miles. One more lap around would give us all solid 3 miles.
    But had some controversy. Mo advanced running calculators worn by mo advanced runners wen show one lower mileage count. My argument: Everybody know Apple technology, while not da best, is mo common and accepted mo universally. So it wins. Kinda like [insert hated presidential candidate]. (See also: Yankee Jeaux’s iPhone conversion).
    Knowing I was up against bettah technology, YHC tried fo shut it down quick. “3 miles, I’m da Q.”

    History is written by da victors, so one final lap would give us 3 full miles.
    Naha stone drop.

    (true story: 5-year old AB talked like that, much to the dismay of his poor mother)

  • What a stormy night – from Mambi

    The storm the night before definitely kept most PAX home. With the exception of 3 including YHC. The track was too wet for the normal Wally Sprint so the 3 PAX decided to run the traditional Wally Run. It was a great run with great conversation and a lot of encouragement. The F2 was the best part of the run. Thanks Pia Gow and Triple Shift.

  • Impromptu Q for two – from Kenna Brah

    Seeing MacGyver was attending to a family emergency, YHC found himself paired with Space Cowboy. After warmups, Mosied to the JPAS for coupons. With said coupons held with arms at 90, walk backwards up ramp, then 10 step ups. Back down and around 3x, repeat same circuit but with block manmakers 10x, 3 rounds. Space had to leave early, so we nosied back for COT.

  • Where’s the Beast?? – from Goose

    Last night, Wet Tap posted a hype GIF with Belle asking a mirror to “Show me the Beast!” What we didn’t know was that he was trying to tell us that that’s exactly what we’d be doing this morning as 5:15 rolled around , looking for the Beast. But, the Beast was nowhere to be found, unless you count when Smooth, took his shirt off about halfway through (big, hairy, grunting). YHC assumed that Tap was either enjoying a testosterone induced sleep or stabbing some early spines, so we began a warm-up with a none-too-excited PAX while formulating the first thang of what would be stereotypically difficult round robin.

    YHC took the first thang, an inevitable Dora consisting of everyone’s favorite four exercises: 100 Merkens, 200 curls, and 300 big boy sit-ups; partner runs a lap around the track. It was supposed to be 200 situps and 300 curls, but Popeye really wanted to get to those curls, so the abs got a little more attention this morning.

    Popeye Q’d next, thankfully, with a little more creativity. Each man took a turn murder bunny-ing across the field and running back while the rest of the PAX stayed and did an exercise AMRAP of the traveling man’s choosing. Pop started us off and assigned Apollo Onos. YHC assigned Toe-tappers, Lil Cuz gave squats (what are those?), Smooth doled out suicides, and Pope followed his lead with side shuffles. Then once all PAX had traversed the field, Popeye put the icing on the cake by having all run the half lap to retrieve the coupons, do five man-makers, and murder bunny back to the start.

    Now, it was Little Cuz’s turn, and after a couple of much needed 10-counts, he decided to take it easy on us. Wait, no, he didn’t. Per usual round robin dynamics, he would not be outdone, and matter-of-factly stated that we would each be doing 100 Merkins followed by a little bit of Mary. Thankfully, the Form Police, though brought up in conversation, did not make an appearance this morning, and we finished with a couple of minutes holding 6 inches.

    COT and Cuz prayed us out.

    It was so good having Smooth Operator back in the mix! Pope may be able to say “OK” just like him, but nobody can replace the uniquely awesome mix of tenacity and humility that he brings to the group. Keep it up, buddy!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • Always a Gunner – from Safety Valve

    YHC pulled up to scope things (and maybe come up with a beatdown idea) slightly earlier than usual. The air was thick and electric – the thunderstorm and lightening had YHC questioning if he should just turn around and say he overslept. Then he remembered that White Meat HC’d the night before. YHC couldn’t let a good chance go to waste to hurt that man again. In the wise words of our feathered leader, “we do not deserve to be comfortable.”

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    High knees (the real kind)
    Butt kicks
    Willy mays hays (very slow)
    mountain climbers
    Arm circles forward and backward
    Cherry Pickers

    Thang

    With it being the last weekend of premier league soccer (YHC’s team is in the running for the title this year) and YHC’s first Saturday Q, playing some sort of soccer was on the docket. But first, some time had to be “wasted”. We moseyed over to the ED white stadium.

    1 mile run under 8 minutes was ordered – everyone complied and no dishonorable discharges had to be handed out. Dox and Honeysuckle led the group with around a 7 minute pace. There was some discontent in our little group of Ronnie, Goose, Pope, and YHC. Ronnie was helping to set our pace, but a backhanded compliment about being a good person to draft behind from Goose sent Ronnie into a new level. We finished with a 7:20 pace. White meat, Popeye and Wet tap were close one our heels.

    Next, the rules of our main event was explained. We would be playing soccer, with traditional soccer rules. No throwing the ball, no punting the ball. Just plain old soccer, using your feet. There would be 3 teams all playing at the same time with one ball. In essence each team had a goal to defend and two goals they could score on. Once a team was scored on, they would be out of the game and would have to do big boy sit ups until the last team was knocked out. If someone shot and missed the goal, that entire team had to do 3 burpees. Having three teams vs two added just the perfect amount of chaos that was needed to fulfill a F3 Saturday beatdown. Three separate games were played with a “halftime” show in between each game.

    Halftime show #1 – Tubchumper by Chumpawampa
    SSH for duration of song with burpee for every “I get knocked down..”

    Halftime show #2 – Stairway to heaven
    For the duration of the song: bearcrwal to 10 yardline and do 10 merkins and sprint back, bearcrawl to 20 yardline and do 20 merkins and sprint back, etc until the song was over. This wasn’t received well.

    Observations :
    #1 – Pope is athletic. I’m not sure he ever touched a soccer ball before, but he schooled most of us, including YHC.
    #2 – White meat has balled before – don’t let that innocent face convince you otherwise
    #3 – Goose is competitive, we know this. But, soccer is his weakness. I think it’s because he can’t just toss people over his shoulder in soccer. It’s frowned upon. File this away for another day.
    #4 – What Goose lacks in soccer skills though, he makes up for it in fatherhood. Seeing Duke literally give whatever he can to the group is amazing to watch. This 4 year old’s insight of the world is so advanced for his age. He felt like he wasn’t able to contribute to his team playing soccer since his Dad was trying to run him over, but he saw a need elsewhere. He became the best ball boy any soccer pitch has ever seen. T-claps for sure.
    #5 – YHC team was full of all-stars: Lil Cuz is a master shot stopper, his skills could only be compared to Wet tap playing ultimate frisbee. Popeye was the only level minded person on the field when he decided that just playing defense is the way – let the other two teams full of cavemen go after one another first. Brilliant! See #4 for Duke.

    We made it back to flag with 3 minutes to spare. YHC thought hard about ending the beatdown early, but once again, I couldn’t let White Meat down. We laid down in the mud puddles and completed 3 minutes of Mary. Announcements were made. The rugby jersey was handed from Lil Cuz to YHC – he must have appreciated the bearcrawl to heaven earlier. Lil Cuz prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out this morning and playing some weird sport that not many people are into. Always a pleasure to lead

  • Venti 24137 – from Sea Man

    Venti is approaching 1 year! 7 pax sojourned to the river and Starbucks!

  • Dangling Participles – from Honeysuckle

    YHC and 8 HIMs convened at the Den Where the Lion Once Was. Knowing that Achilles tendon injuries were soon to be on the rise due to the Thibodaux “Master Plan”, the warmup was slightly extended.

    Warmarama:
    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Mountain Climbers, Windmills, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love

    As we’re in the middle of the May Challenge, YHC decided to spend most of the beatdown rehashing the types of things we’ve been doing to get points. Today, it would be mainly mileage, merkins, and big boy situps.

    Thang 1:

    To get the ball rolling, we began with cheddar shreddar. Some of the PAX remembered this one, others didn’t, but what YHC didn’t remember is how challenging it is. The PAX lined up in plank position shoulder to shoulder, and the PAX at the far left would move to become face to face with the PAX to his right and say “down” as they both do a merkin together.
    Then everything shifts one to the right, sort of like a conveyor belt. At the end, run to the edge of the parking lot and back only to do the cheddar shreddar again.

    To get the “silent retreat beatdown” effect, YHC suggested that maybe we didn’t need to say “down” depending on the connection felt with the PAX you’re lined up with. What resulted instead was some extremely exaggerated and loud “down!”s as different PAX felt emboldened to let out pent-up frustration and disappointment with certain of their fellow PAX.

    Thang 2:

    To continue with the merkins, a ladder exercise was to be performed starting with 5 merkins at the fresh concrete square, run to the back of the civic center to do 5 BBSs, run back to the square to do 10 merkins, and so on, until the round of 25 merkins and 25 BBSs were completed. The PAX were instructed to stay together until everyone was finished. YHC took a little too long getting those 25 BBSs and only Pope stayed behind. To the other 7 PAX, YHC would like to say, “DOWN!!”

    Thang 3:

    In the spirit of rehashing, YHC reprised the “name the thing these two songs have in common” game with “Small Town” (John Cougar Mellancamp) and “Live and Let Die” (Paul McCartney and the Wings). For the first song, hold Al Gore and every mention of “Small Town” was a jump squat or Bobby Hurley. For the second song, squats during the slow part, SSHs during the fast part, and high knees during the other part. Oh, what was the common thread to which I was referring to? It reminds me of a joke.

    A visitor from Homer at Harvard on the Bayou (Cardinal tells me I may get sued for saying that) had gotten lost looking for the building once famous for simultaneously housing the culinary school and the biology department. Upon noticing a dapper marketing professor and asked him, “Sir, where is Gouaux hall at?” Looking up from his new iPhone, the professor said, “Here at Harvard on the Bayou, we don’t end sentences with a preposition.” The Homerian native, whose chatter ability was surpassed only by his sarcasm prowess, responded, “Sir, you just did.”

    Or something like that. You may have heard another version. I cannot forget from where it is that I come FROM. This ever-changing world in which we live IN. A chickfila pops up, an ALDI pops up, and the Lion is gone.

    Thang 4:

    In the limited remaining time, the PAX attempted to descend the latter of Thang 3, starting with 25 each. We made it through 15 merkins and then ran the rest of the time to end up with 2 miles as the clock struck 6.

    Announcements/Intentions. Good luck to YJ. May you destroy your defense as well as you destroyed the wood in the expansion joints this morning. Safety Valve prayed us out.
    Kudos to the fasters. The PAX continue to inspire YHC with not only physical prowess but dedication in these other areas. It was a pleasure to Q this morning.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle