Category: New Orleans

  • Dad Jokes Rule – from Fracsac

    7 pax posted for a Fathers Day beat down courtesy of YHC. That included Wapner, Thumb War, Ballast, Smooth, Heisenberg, Monopoly and YHC
    Conditions were hot and humid with no breeze.
    Got the jams started for the warmup ending with a plank-o-rama.

    The Thang – Stations

    Station 1 – big boi sit-ups
    Station 2 – ‘mericans
    Station 3 – 60 lb sandbag throw over
    Station 4 – Kettle bell swing
    Station 5 – jump rope
    Station 6 – 2 pax toss frisbee or football x 4 (timer)

    Pax going to toss station has to tell a Dad joke. If pax doesn’t have one, it could be bought from YHC for either 5 burpees or a roll of the die. (all do it)

    If no laugh from Dad joke, 5 burpees penalty.
    Completed 2 rounds

    Back of the museum for 10 x 3 rounds of 8 count body builders.
    3 x Sunday Mornings

    Happy Fathers Day

    CoT

    NMM

    Here’s a taste of what you missed
    How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut!
    Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint!
    I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
    Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They might crack up!
    What did the big flower say to the little flower? “Hi, bud!”
    I went to buy some camouflage pants, but I couldn’t find any.
    What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
    I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.
    What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman!
    Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!
    Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere!
    What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
    Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
    What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!
    Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged!
    I was going to tell you a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
    I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
    Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
    I’m writing a book about glue, but I’m stuck on the first chapter.
    What did one plate whisper to the other plate? Dinner is on me.
    Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
    Two sheep walk into a—baaaa.
    Stop looking for the perfect match; use a lighter.
    Try the seafood diet—you see food, then you eat it.
    Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I’m not going to go spreading it!
    What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1
    What state is known for its small drinks? Minnesota.
    What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business.
    If two vegetarians get in an argument, is it still called beef?
    I have a clean conscious—it’s never been used.
    I love telling Dad jokes. Sometimes, he even laughs.
    SYITG

  • At the Intersection of Okwata and DMD – from Fracsac

    YHC showed up and planted a flag. 4 other Pax showed up including Dax, HIPAA, Squints, and Cheese Steak. A brief disclaimer was given and off we moseyed towards the fountain then circled up in front for a warmup where there was a serious plank-o-rama.

    Move to the fountain for double shots with Jack Webb at the Barre, which is ‘mericans followed by air presses in the people’s chair.

    Mosey to the top of the levee for disperse Indian run. Pax that sprints to the front call disperse and an exercise. Pax go down complete 3 of said exercises and then run back up levee.

    At the top of Canal is where YHC introduced the pax to my friend, DirtyMacDuece!
    – 4 rounds of 3 x 12 count exercises including arms, legs, and core. Each round ended in a run down across and up with a bear crawl across the newly paved walkway.

    No time for pull ups. I need to better manage time and our posterior chains.

    Back to the flag for 0615

    CoT

    NMM

    – I gave HIPAA some great advice today during the DMD. He should recommend more bear crawls to his patients. You’re welcome!
    – Thanks to Cheese Steak we all know where Wilson lives now. His M says he slept in, she didn’t seem eager to let us in to wake him up.

    Okwata is calling your name! Come check it out!

    SYITG

  • Jump Frac’n Cowboy Jump – from Fracsac

    YHC showed up with about a minute before go time to one very eager and thrilled Space Cowboy. All it takes is 2, so it was on.

    Brief disclaimer with a mosey to the pad for a warmup of regular stuff and ended with a serious plank-o-rama.

    First up was a quarter Murph. Started with a roughly quarter mile, followed by 5 rounds of 5, 10, and 15 pull-ups, ‘mericans, and squats respectively. Finish the quarter mile with a stop at the Cowboy Mobile to grab a couple jump ropes and a football from the Frac Truck.

    First up was burpeebroadjumprope about 20 feet and go deep for a pass. Each went a few times. It was a total disaster.

    Next was stations at JPAS. 100 jump rope timer while the other does step ups, ‘mericans, and big boi sit-ups. 3 rounds was enough.

    Mosey to the ramp of doom. 50 jump ropes, bear crawl halfway up, 50 jump ropes, bear crawl all the way up, 50 jump ropes. Repeat back down.

    Mosey back to the flag for CoT

    Great way to start the day!!

  • Bleacher Creatures – from Mahatma

    YHC intro disclaimer ask Pax to truck to grab things and head to the track.

    WarmUp
    SSH
    Mnt Man Pooper
    Side Lung
    HillBilly
    ScanTrons X 2

    Head to the goal line for Red Barchetta,
    If you done one you know the drill
    100 SSH
    75 BBS
    50 Merkins
    25 Sqts Bogeys recommendation
    10 Burpees

    Handgranada out of exhaustion accused YHC of miss counting because he was so far ahead, so YHC returned to complete an additional set of merkins with him.

    Main thing:

    YHC’s mastermind of a complete beat down – 8 stations stretched to 9 PLUS a stadium sprint.

    Round 1 15 reps at each station OR until a pax gets to your station. For the most part it worked BUT failure on the overhead / farmer carry exchanged on to the running. YHC asked for help to resolve this in Rnd 2. When stressed YHC often reverts to a military mindset and yells unflattering things and becomes focused on grinding through a task, lucky for him the Pax carried the load and finished with modifications when needed along with much mumble chatter to bust his balls.

    Chest 45
    Squat 45
    Kettle bell 25
    Side or Front raise 10s
    Lunge 10s
    Straight Curls 25
    TriCep 25
    Farmers carry blocks

    Finished with Mary:
    Toe touches
    Crunchy Frog
    X Factor

    COT – gave thanks for blessings and asked for humility of service.

  • The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything – from Goose

    It’s 42. That’s why this is such an important year, or maybe just an important beatdown. The year was 1982, an important year, maybe not for music, or movies, or culture in general, but certainly for YHC.

    Warmup consisted of the usuals–YHC had no energy for 42 (or 82) of anything, especially given the packed schedule of events to be revealed.

    Top song on June 11, 1982? “Ebony and Ivory” by Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder, the song that fixed the problem of racism in the United States (and Great Britain). While Bose’ Sr. cranked the synth on this one, PAX switched back and forth from Peter Parkers to Parker Peters every time they said the titular “Ebony and Ivory”. It seemed much longer than it was, and not (just) because it’s a boring song.

    What was the top song of the year? “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor, it’s success fueled by Rocky and every school with a tiger mascot. But, we wouldn’t be doing anything with this one…

    What culturally significant blockbuster movie was released on June 11, 1982? That’s right, it was E.T. And, YHC asked the PAX: in typical Spielberg fashion, a child yells what extremely crude epithet that is completely inappropriate for his age? Both AB and White Meat, in perfect harmony, immediately and loudly answered (correctly): “penis breath!” YHC quickly assured the PAX that this wouldn’t be the theme of our next exercise to the visible (and audible) relief of the group. Jokes were made about YHC taking this opportunity to finally reveal the real nature of F3, ha ha! But, that won’t come for another year or so.

    YHC cued up the E.T. “Flying” theme song, and we flew on our bicycles for the duration: 41 Freddy Mercurys (1:1) and 11 jump squats, on repeat AMRAP.

    Next YHC suggested gloves and led the PAX (surprise, surprise) to the beginning of the new street where there used to be a bumper. YHC explained the cultural and personal significance of the dawn of the Super Mario/Ninteno age in 1985, and then explained that we’d be taking advantage of the well-spaced green pipes along this road. At every green pipe (cluster), which were about 15-20 yards apart, we’d switch between Mario skips (punch those bricks!) and bear crawls, effectively going “up” and “down” the pipes.

    Once we arrived at the end of the street (about 8 pipes long), YHC shared the centrality of basketball, or at least basketball practice for both middle school and high school years. So, just like my Cuban high school coach, Elmo (that was his real name), YHC instructed the PAX in red faced fashion to “Get on the line! We gonna…………(unintelligible syllables)……..JUST GET ON THE LINE!” It was suicide time. (Thank you, Popeye.) From that line, we did suicides to up to the fifth pipe before moseying back to the flag for a couple more thangs. Honeysuckle (and America’s Best) put on a clinic with these, making you wonder if your excuses for slowing down were really grounded in reality, or if they’ve really been doing that much extra running on the side.

    Back at the flag, YHC gathered Bose’ and phone to set up for the next thang and found what looked to be a long handle/stick with a hook at the end. It served well as a prop to keep the speaker and phone from sitting too deep in the wet grass, and inadvertently as a major source of intimidating mystery for the PAX (“what could he possibly have planned for a stick with a hook on it? Is this finally where he reveals the true nature of F3?) Ha! No, not for another year or so.

    YHC’s early 20’s were defined by four years in seminary and a bunch of summers working at a summer camp in the mountains of North Carolina, where Pope and half of his siblings are now. It cannot be overstated how much influence these experiences had on forming YHC into the man he is today. So, we cued up “Church Clap” by KB, Lecrae and “Still Wandering’ by Bronze Radio Return to honor these two, and the PAX started doing stationary 21’s with genuflections (for seminary) and mountain climbers (for camp). But, after doing 20 followed by 19 genuflections, it became clear that this would take way too much time, and we lose a few PAX, so YHC changed it to 11’s. This was plenty.

    After this, we had just enough time to honor the period that followed to the current day–marriage and family. YHC thought I had experience great things, hard things, and had accomplished much…until marriage, and kids. Being a husband and father has brought me to my limitations and blown past them, forcing me to grow so I can give more of me to the people who need it and deserve it. We’ve been married for almost 17 years and have had 10 kids, and the reaction I most hear is “How do you do that?” The answer is, “By not asking that question.” Nobody has what it takes to be the husband and father their wife and children need them to be–it has to be ripped out of us one day, one minute at a time. So, just like with F3, especially with a lot of burpees on the line, we all know that if you ask the question, “How am I gonna do this?”, you’ve already set yourself up to fizzle out early. You just have to choose to start and then not to give yourself an excuse to stop or count the cost or analyze how much you have left in the tank. Your tank will grow with you if you force it to!

    So, 17 years of marriage plus 10 kids = 27 burpees. Don’t ask questions, just start and do one more burpee until you get to 27. And that’s what these guys did, and they keep doing it every time the Q lays out the plan, every time the alarm clock goes off, and every time their body says, “How are you gonna keep going? Is this sensible?” No, but it’s so awesome, and I’m so grateful that you men decided to choose the awesome over the easy this morning and every time you come out!

    COT and Dox prayed us out. Incredible work today, brothers, and it was a great gift to have so many of you out there.

    SYITG,
    Goose, 42

  • Show Up – from Fracsac

    10 pax posted to celebrate life and get the day started right! There was sprinting around the track and there was knees positioned over toes. All 10 were better off for showing up!

  • Skip Happens! – from Space Cowboy

    Weather: Sunny, 77 degrees; humidity makes it feel like 82 degrees

    When I woke up this morning, I checked the Q Sheets and realized that I mistakenly thought my Q workout was Wednesday instead of today. Unfortunately, I was not able to round-up the troops the previous night. Fortunately, I already had a full beatdown planned; and, 4 PAX including @Bolt, @Fracsac, @Kenna Brah and @Rev Sox joined me at The Scrum for my “6 month” F3 anniversary. Promptly at 5:30, I gave the disclaimer and we immediately mosey to my truck to pick-up jump “skipping” ropes and then off to the Shrine.

    Warmerama
    SSH x 20
    Abe Slogodas X 10
    Forward Arm Circles x10
    Backwards Arm Circles x10
    Monkey Dance X 20 (aka the “Anti-Climatic” Monkey Dance per @Fracsac)
    Slow Squats with jump rope extended above head x 10

    Thang 1
    Burps-Merks-Groiners
    There are 10 light poles located at front of the Shrine
    1st light pole
    Jump-rope Burpees x 3
    Merkins x 10
    Groiners 2-1 x 1
    Proceed to 2nd pole
    Jump-Rope Burpees x 3
    Merkins – Declining number by 1 for each pole (9 for 2nd pole, 8 for 3rd pole, etc.)
    Groiners 2-1 – Ascending number by 1 for each pole (2 for 2nd pole, 3 for 3rd pole, etc.)
    All PAX must jog back to 1st pole before proceeding to the next pole
    Repeat above reps until 10 poles are completed

    Thang 2
    7’s
    60 count jump rope, run to 2nd pole, 1 burpee, return to 1st pole
    50 count jump rope, run to 2nd pole, 2 burpees, return to 1st pole
    etc.

    While jogging back to flag, PAX surprisingly talked about what it would be like to Jump Rope Burpee from the Shrine to the flag (about ¼ mile). Might be a good suggestion for a future skip beatdown! 2 min of LBC’s at flag. COT. Each day, I am more appreciative of F3. My first 10 Q’s over the past 6 months have been great and I look forward to future experiences.

  • Making Progress on the Posterier Chain – from Triple Shift

    I hadn’t Q’d in sometime so when I was called out to lead the men of the Renaissance, I gladly stepped up. Ever since my first few workouts in 2014, I recognized that almost everyone in the F3 Nation is always doing some sort of vertical or horizontal press. Think overhead presses or Carolina Dry Docks and think Merkins. Ever since my first Red Hot Chili Pepper routine (20 decline merkins IC, 20 triceps dip IC, 20 Incline Merkins, and 20 Step Ups IC and then decrease to 15 reps, 10 reps and then 5 reps), I’ve been a little turned off on all the push type exercises. Well, that would change today.

    Warmarama – 10 LSS IC, 10 Arm Circles (forward and backward) IC, 10 Open the gate IC, 10 LS Merkins IC, 10 LS Parker Peters IC, and 10 LS Peter Parkers IC. Too much chatter and strange noises from Vagabond and Fracsac which almost threw me off my game.

    After the warmups farmers carry the dumbbells, kettlebells and sandbag and head to the foundry about a 1/3 mile away. I heard Wapner comment on the obvious that we would have to carry all the weights back to the starting point. Which I said, “That is the point of the workout.”

    THE THANG
    At the foundry, I told the PAX that we will work on the posterior chain so there would be a vertical pull (pull ups), a horizontal pull (2 handed body row or single arm bent over row), Bulgarian split squats (glutes), and then single leg deadlifts (hinge for glutes and hamstrings). After much chatter about the word posterior and other definitions that I threw out, I gave them instructions.

    5 pull ups
    10 two handed body rows or 10 single arm (each arm) bent over rows
    15 Bulgarian Split Squats each leg. The top of the back foot needs be flat behind you on a bench and the front foot need to be in front of the knee.
    20 single leg deadlifts with a weight in one hand.
    Hold a superman for the six
    I was hoping that we could do 5 rounds but only could muster 3 because of all the mumble chatter from the PAX and the form policing by me. Thumb War tried to hide by being far away, but I caught him.

    Head to the back of the museum for a 10 count Jackass Webb which is 10 burpees IC and 20 donkey kicks. Finish up with one Sunday Morning and head back to the flag with all the weights.

    I closed us out in a BOM (increased my testosterone) with a petition to God to give us the opportunities to be courageous, the opportunities to practice patience, the opportunities to lead our families and communities in humility. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers with all the family drama and business challenges that I am going through! Praying that God’s will be done!

  • Shake it Up a Bit – from Goose

    After four or five Saturdays in a row including a game of some sort, YHC thought it prudent to shake things up a bit and bring back the 60 minutes of pain. Kinda like a weekday, but longer, and at a location with tons of options.

    After YHC drug Yankee Jeaux along for a warmup lap, a warmup of the usuals commenced with 10 fantastic PAX. Once completed, we grabbed gear, and YHC started to lead a mosey toward the track, which brought about much angst amongst the natives, especially those who feared the inevitable after having been absent for a couple of months. YJ reminded YHC that this was the two-year anniversary of his initial return after hiatus, which happened to be YHC’s 40th birthday beatdown, and where YJ happened to puke multiple times. The similarities to today were already astounding–and the stage was set for some potential pukage.

    We moseyed on the track up even with the 50 yard line where YHC explained that we’d be getting back to the ground after enjoying multiple weeks of games (which YHC has loved, btw). It’s been great, but the grinding season was upon us. The first grind would be a Dora, but with three men and four exercises. The PAX broke into 3-man teams, and each team set a man on each side of the track (at the 50, halfway point on the straight 100). On one side, the exercises were 200 merkins followed by 200 Morroccan Night Clubs, and on the other, they were 200 lunges (1:1) followed by 200 heels to heaven. The third man would run from one teammate to the other and take up the rep count, like an ordinary Dora, while his guy ran the next half loop to take over from guy 1. This ended up going as YHC expected–the half lap wasn’t so bad, but merkins while waiting for your teammates to get all the way back around to you was reminiscent of a few May beatdowns. Popeye and Valve throupled/quadroupled with the two 2.0’s, Darryl Strawberry and Jacknife, who moved as one. Sort of. While Honeysuckle, Popeye, and Valve seemed to have no trouble with this one, YHC felt sorry for those for whom running is a life-sucker, but these guys also happen to be the ones with the biggest hearts, and they were clearly pushing hard so as not to leave their teammates suffering longer than necessary.

    The second grind was like the first, except we moved over to the bleachers, and instead of one man running a half lap, he would run up or down the bleachers, and the exercises were done at the top and bottom. At the bottom, 200 dips and 200 LBC’s. At the top, 200 step-ups (1:1) and 200 air presses (overhead). The step-ups were the crux for this one, but the men powered them out in enough time for an Indian Run of epic/stupid proportions.

    The 10 were split into two teams of 5 and each was positioned at opposing ends of the track (50 yard line). The man in the back of each line had to run to the front of the other team’s line, where he would choose a type of transportation for that team while he was head of the line. This was done to provide some variation, but also to give the other line’s guy an actual chance of catching up. This went fairly well, and only a few times did multiple new leaders arrive at about the same time. YHC did observe a few interesting choices for transportation. One looked like a walk, but with knees ever-so-slightly elevated. Not sure what this one was called: Tiptoe-down-the-hallway-at-night walk? Dodging-dog-bombs-in-the-backyard walk? High Grass?

    The mosey back to the flag was understandably slow after this last routine, but we still had some time for a few rounds of Mary. YHC thought it would be fun to introduce some of the newer guys to the more creatively named core exercises, like Afflecks (formerly A-Rods: a combination of J-Los and Pickle Pounders) and Nolan Ryans.

    The Animal shirt was given clean for the first time because Pope received it but couldn’t be present to present it. It went to Captain D’s for his effort despite it not being a game day (the large majority of his posts have ended up being games).
    COT and prayers for the women on the ACTS retreat and a few families dealing with tragedy. Maneater graciously prayed us out.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • 6-5-(2)4 MANniversary – from Bolt

    6-5-4 countdown: 6/5/24 marked my 4th MANniversary which required a Q by YHC. Boo-boo hyped it up in mumble chatter and the pax did not disappoint, including a DR Bow Wow from Lake Charles who drove in from BR to make the BD!

    Warmorama at the launch pad with Hip Circles (clockwise) x 5 (in cadence)
Hip Circles (counterclockwise) x 5 (in cadence)
Abe SLOWigodas x 10 (in cadence)
Abe Vigodas x 10 (in cadence)
Imperial Walkers x 20 (in cadence)
Mountain Climbers x 10 (in cadence)
, Peter Parker and Parker Peters x 10 (in cadence), SSH x 20. Mosey to JPAX and Alternating leg step-ups (8-count) x 20 (in cadence).
    Grab coupons for 7s:
    6 Manmakers mosey to stairs for bunny hops up with 1 box jump for the balance of the count and bear crawl down the ramp for the rinse/repeat

    Back to back ring of fire x 10 (two different exercises—FRAC!): Merkins (base position – plank), Jump Squats (base position – Al Gore). Somewhere in the mix Boo-boo called for a skip resulting in 5 burpee penalty.

    “Cool down” on your six for protractors for one minute followed by returning coupons and mosey to flag for final MANniversary moves—burpees of course!

    5 minute EMOM of 10 burpees/min, YHC DNF the 50 burpees for the first time in years—the King debilitated rapidly after a three week hiatus!

    4 years ago I needed F3 to keep me from losing my mind in the height of covid lockdown and used the desire to return to physical activity after a five year break as the impetus—what I got in return, many of you can identify with which is why I’m here four years later: the F2 and F3. Thanks to the pax for making me pursue improvement; you are my brothers from different mothers—much love!