F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • Citius – Altius – Fortius at Mothership – from Triple Shift

    Growing up, the Summer Olympics were a huge deal on television, especially before cable, the internet, and streaming services. The world was watching because there wasn’t that much to watch. To see world class athletes gather to perform on a global stage every four years is a sight to see. Most of them were ‘amateur – unpaid’ professionals looking to secure some financial security with a sports apparel company or another type of sponsorship while they consistently trained in anonymity. What I love the most are the underdogs who were never supposed to win, let alone on the greatest sports stage ever. Check out the most improbable wins at the Summer Olympics.

    https://www.ranker.com/list/underdog-olympics-stories/jordan-love
    https://bleacherreport.com/articles/1171485-the-10-greatest-upsets-in-summer-olympic-history

    With the 2024 Summer Olympics opening night on Friday, I was inspired to provide a workout that would give tribute to the Olympic motto of Citius -Altius -Fortius or faster higher, stronger.

    WARMARAMA
    Mosey to the Peristyle to start the warmup in a mostly low slow cadence. 10 low slow squats, 10 low slow merkins, 10 arm circles (forward and backward), 10 x IC slow peter parkers, 10 x IC slow shoulder taps, 10 x IC slow parker peters, 10 x slow Floyd Mayweathers, 10 IC x Lunge around the clock, 15 IC x Imperial Walkers, and finished up with 31 x IC SSH.
    Now that we are sufficiently warmed up, we mosey to pickup the rocks from behind the fountain and head to the front of the great lawn.

    THE THANG
    Perform 30 squats with rock, 25 LBC with rock, 20 no cheat merkins, 15 lunge walk with rock (2 is 1), and 10 blockees (burpee with rock over head press) then run a lap around the great lawn with is 400 yards for 2 rounds and pickup the six (thanks Catfish and Heisenberg).
    Bring the rocks back and head to the Peristyle for column sit with 20 IC air presses. Onto our six and perform 20 IC x flutter kicks and then cool down with some stretching.

    COT
    Welcome FNG Matchbox by way of Squints! Prayers for the F3NOLA crew heading to the Wild West Relay this week and for those who are needing purpose. Lord, help us to be the difference makers in our homes and our communities. Thank you for the honor of leading!

  • Mark it, Dude. – from Honeysuckle

    Seven HIMs who were wise and would never compromise arrived to the Peltch for what was clearly going to involve the track. The only real concern for Daryl Strawberry’s or Popeye’s shoes were the warmarama and COT, so everyone carefully chose a spot and we began.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Lafayette Nightclubs, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Self Love, maybe some other things

    Thang 1:

    Mosey to the track. Since the front gate was open, we entered that way and felt like we weren’t sneaking in. As the speaker wasn’t working for YHC this morning, the PAX did not have the pleasure of hearing the Greta Van Fleet (schism-worthy) playlist that was to be the background motivational music. So the first thang was done in silence, other than the heavy breathing.

    Starting at the goal line, bear crawl to the 5 yd line, run back. Do the same thing for the 10 yd line through 50 yd line. At the 5, 10, 15, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of tempo squats. At the 10, 20, 30, … yd line turnarounds, do that number of merkins. This was done to the 50 yard line. This was a challenging task and YHC thought a few times about being merciful, but ultimately no modifications were made and the PAX completed this eventually.

    Thang 2:

    Now on to something a little more fun. The overall idea for the next two thangs were to make the PAX run, but have tasks to complete to take their minds off it. Everyone received a slip of paper with five colored circles. Each PAX’s circles were in different order. Around the track were seven orange cones, five of which were covering markers. PAX had to run around the track, and checking cones to find the markers. Their circles had to be colored in the order that they appeared on the paper. If the marker was the correct color, PAX would fill in the circle. If the marker was not the correct color (or there was no marker), PAX had to do 5 burpees. Also, after you flip a cone, you had to reverse direction.

    As difficult as these instructions were to understand, they were also difficult to carry out. The 5 burpees seemed cruel so YHC did change this to 1 burpee. Eventually, Coyote and Daryl Strawberry finished, and YHC ended the game right before Goose and Pope finished. Depending on how good or bad you were at this game, you ran quite a bit.

    Thang 3:

    Since the markers were already distributed around the track, the PAX paired up and each went to a different location on the track. At the start time, the pairs would play Paper/Scissors/Rock. The loser had to do Big Boy Situps in place. The winner would use a marker to make a mark on their paper (like a passport stamp) and run to the next location. The person doing BBS would keep going until someone showed up to play them. If the BBS person completed 30 before someone showed up to play them, they could get their mark and leave. YHC does not remember the result, but it was quite a while before YHC was able to leave the initial station. That’s a lot of situps.

    Thang 4:

    Quick try again for some Greta Van Fleet (Black Smoke Rising), now using a different speaker, so we circled up and did SSH during the song and mountain climbers during the refrain. But YHC had trouble identifying the refrain. Then mosey back to the flags for COT.

    Announcements, prayer intentions, Goose prayed us out. No clothing to exchange today.

    Thanks everyone for showing up and grinding through today! It continues to be a blessing to be a part of this group!

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine: What’s the deal with that Olympics opening ceremony? Can we just watch sports?

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • You have to CRAWL before you can LUNGE – from Mayhem

    Conditions: 80 deg F with feels like temp of 84 deg F due to the 90% RH = perfect summer morning for a beatdown

    Anxious to kick off the day, YHC arrived at 5:15am. Quick check on the field to make sure it was not too sloppy. By 5:30am we had a total of 11 including an FNG c/o Bolt. By 5:33am we had a dirty dozen as Triple joined us on Triple time.

    Mosey to midfield for warmups: AV, GG, PPP, Crab Cakes, Tie Fighters, smurf jacks

    Bear CRAWL 50 yards to end of the field
    Mosey to the rock pile, grab a rock that you can do a bunch of thrusters with

    Mosey with rock to the parking lot

    A form of 11s OYO
    10 burpees, 1 thruster, lunge walk to next tree with rock
    9 burpees, 2 thrusters, lunge walk to next tree with rock
    10 stops covered 100 yards
    Felt the burn halfway through
    Then 200 yard jog (back to start, back to finish)

    Core Dora, partner up
    One PAX exercises, other PAX grabs any rock and travels about 60 yards and back
    100 big boys
    200 V-ups (later modified)
    300 LBCs (almost finished)

    Grab a rock, two single file lines, indian “run” (more of a mosey)
    Our lines were about as straight as when we all learned it in preschool

    Back to COT, a few sprinted, all were gassed

    Counterama, Namerama, Name the FNG, Announcements, Intentions, prayed it out

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead! It was a good one!

    Welcome Kingfish to the F3 brotherhood!
    Shout out to Squints for his first ever post at Pontiff!
    Shout out to Pinewood who came from the West Bank and has an 8:00am final exam today… good luck!

  • 5:1’s – from Charmin

    Started with 5 Ended with 6.

    Runner’s ran the Ruck Route, Rucker’s Ran, Overall it was a great day to push ourselves.

    YHC needed to push himself and Bolt was happy to oblige with a Walk 5 Minutes/ Run 1 Minute and YHC TRUSTED that he would do just that.

  • Bone Apple Teeth – from Paradox

    A few years ago during YHCs RCIA journey I had a great sit down with a priest to answer a few questions about the sacrament of confession. Ya see YHC had only seen the movie versions of confession and basically all I knew was I had to get in a boo box somewhere and that usually the priest was a double CIA agent covertly seeing if I was tied up in a small town murder plot. Well, after a thorough explanation of what real confession was and was not , (mortal vs venial sins etc) I was left with only one question: What if you have done or said something really really exceedingly stupid but no-one knows about it? Not necessarily a sin but something that may have altered the entire fabric of your vocabulary and, if left untold, would eat away at you and those around you for decades. The priest after assuring me being stupid was not a sin smiled and said “that’s easy, you just tell the really bad ones to a trusted friend, have a laugh, and move on”

    Well , Here we are my friends.

    Welcome to the Boo Box

    Duke!! Get your Ruck !!
    Roll the bean footage and let’s get this nipped in the butt.

    5 Road warriors strong at the colosseum. We took a steady ruck from Nichols across the bridge of Terapeltchia into Peltch Major until making our destination of the EDW track.

    Here YHC revealed he would be confessing to four obscenely incorrect uses of common phrases used at different eras in my life .

    We would commemorate each with an exercise , Indian ruck a track lap , rinse and repeat.

    1.) “Let’s Get down to Brass TAX”

    Most of these had similar origin stories. YHC, in his Homerian learning center, heard the phrase from grown ups, assumed it meant something else, justified it with my own experiences and went about my merry childhood. For example, when adults got serious, usually with a business deal or related finances, they were ready to go beyond your regular gen pop taxes and do Brass taxes . You know, you go into your CPAs office and tell them straight up that you have a job and kids and it’s time to do brass taxes and that was that. I considered that if I studied hard enough maybe one day I would even see my brass taxes at work.

    Later, after all that studying I stood in an OR as a 25 year old med student. Across from me a senior surgeon told a story of an emergent trauma surgery during a mission trip in Guatemala. They needed to stop internal bleeding with limited supplies and he had a surg tech find a brass tack from a tool box, sterilize it, and pinned a section of colon until the correct tool could be utilized. (No big deal)
    He was impressed at how attentive I was to his story but had no clue I was really just stunned that brass tacks existed and how the loss of my brass tax goal had just been demolished.

    Brass Tax Ruck Bobby Hurleys
    We did 25 of them .

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    2. ) State of The ARK

    This one started a little younger. Someone on TV describing a yacht that had State of the Art technology. YHC , fresh from Bible school thought it was great that Noah and his biblical story of trust were recognized in modern times. I then assumed that anything with new cutting edge tech must therefore be State of the Ark. Luckily, well before serious college interviews, (I def had a drivers license though) while serving as a VBS counselor I instructed several children in a PE game called State of the Ark. While we were laughing at watching the kids do a relay race picking up stuffed animals I couldn’t help but notice how funny the other adults thought “state of the Ark” was. I laughed with them but swiftly found a Britannica at home to learn the Truth. Still to this day when I see a really big fancy boat , I whisper to myself “State of the Ark”…

    We did 25 State of the Ark Monkey Swings (Kettlebell swings with ruck)

    Quarter mile Indian KCUR

    3.) STATUE of Limitations

    This may have been the most painful. If you have an older brother in your life you know they smell your ignorance like a shark smells blood . When mine had returned home from a semester at college I informed him that I was using his clothes and room at my own behest and then doubled down to tell him the Statue of Limitations on those items was up. I was then led through my first (certainly not my last) public reformation as he informed our well educated parents they had failed in my raising. He later became a lawyer while YHC continues a worldwide search for that ancient Statue Of Limits.

    We did 100 squats as our “Limitations “
    P1 hold AL Gore Statues
    P2 10 squats then swap

    We all silently considered what our own statute of limitations would look like.

    Ok Deep breath, here we go …

    4.) The Grand Daddy of them all

    YHC could take the common out here and say that I confused this phrase with For All Intensive Purposes, incorrect of course, but more commonly so. But this is about healing so we need to get to the roots. YHC first heard this phrase referring to a Christian missionary from my childhood church who we were raising money for in the community. Someone, remarking at how many roles this certain individual played in a small village, said that “for all intents and purposes “ he was the mayor of the village. YHC put together the pieces and assumed that he was the mayor for all those in TENTs and their purposes. I’d also like to take the out and say that this was corrected in days or weeks but it was YEARs of thoughts and prayers about those dwelling in Tents before YHC was again publicly reformed.

    We did 25 ruck thrusters with Intent and Purpose at the Thunder dome.

    Ruck Back to Base as Valve considered how to contact the LA medical board for a hard discussion and Honeysuckle had more pressing concerns that I could be allowed to operate a motor vehicle. We discovered Maneater is a bit of a scholar on this topic while Captain Ds silently began a search for better workout buddies.

    COT and Valve prayed us out

    Honorable Mentions and Anonymous Submissions

    -20,000 leagues under the sea
    -Jose Can You See?
    -Chester Drawers
    -Bobbed Wire
    -Irregardless
    -Could Care Less
    -Cream of the Crap

    Men , thank you for listening. You had an opportunity to ostrich size me but took the height road. Whether you found this up hauling or mind bottling I can’t be sure but I am grapeful. Maybe some of you found it four meal your, but I urge you to put it in your review mirror and don’t look back. I hope this led to your own piece of mind.

    I pray that you will fill your day with the most intensive purposes that are full of intent and purpose and directed toward those that may be living in Tents on purpose.

    SYITG
    Dox

  • Now Accepting New Schisms! – from Honeysuckle

    YHC arrived to Tuesday Tuff still a little in shock at what happened at the previous day’s beatdown. Because YHC wasn’t there, the goings-on were unclear based on a few cryptic GroupMe messages, but the backblast left very little to the imagination. The mood in general was upbeat, but was Paradox just putting on a brave face? Has he secretly started building a time machine (in a truck, as a Delorean was unavailable), to eventually be used to show up from the future to the 22 July 2024 beatdown to try to stop it from happening (but to ultimately show up too late due to a Go Bears stop)? Too much to process now; lets get down to business.

    Warmarama: SSH, Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm Circles (F/R), Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers

    Thangs 1 & 2:

    An on-the-fly improvement combined the plan to run first and then do the exercises second, so that the run was broken up into segments. The exercises today were to be a schism in
    form. Two teams were created, and within each team half of the participants did some sort of isometric hold while the others did exercises with movement. The reps of the exercises were counted, and the goal was to get to as high of a rep count as possible before the other teammates’ isometric holds failed. Then the same thing
    is done with the roles reversed.

    Rich man’s loop was traversed with several stops covering the following exercises:

    1) Plank (iso), merkin
    2) Al Gore (iso), Bobby Hurley
    3) Boat/canoe (iso), Big Boy Situps
    4) Crab/tabletop (iso), Bonnie Blair

    This took quite a bit of time as the PAX are in pretty good shape and those iso holds lasted a while, especially the tabletop. YHC thinks that the PAX could have held them much longer if they had to, but there was a lot of compassion for the teammates struggling through the Bonnie Blairs and wondering about the grass cultivars.

    Thang 3:

    PAX ran back to the stage. Then YHC discussed a personal schism (it creeps M out) over a song whose subject matter is supernatural beings activities in a European capitol. Goose correctly guessed “Werewolves of London.” There was lots of confusion among “An American in Paris”, “An American Werewolf in London”, and “An American Werewolf in Paris” (the last of which does not exist). Other trivia was, what food is a werewolf looking for (Beef chow mein) and what drink was a werewolf observed drinking (Pina Colada). The PAX did not get these. Ultimately they were to be saved by the bell so they endured no penalty.

    While we listened to the song, PAX could choose to SSH or Hillbilly walk. During
    the howl and chorus, PAX was to do werewolves.

    YHC expected someone to note the similarity in the song with “All Summer Long” by Kid Rock, and Paradox couldn’t put his finger on the song but knew several lyrics. This was going to be part of the post-song trivia: what song was the “Werewolves of London” accused of ripping off the chord progression from (Sweet Home Alabama). And then what later song was a melding of “werewolves in London” and “Sweet Home Alabama” … the answer being “All Summer Long”.

    Announcements included the ANIMAL going from Paradox to Goose, due to Goose answering the bonus question of the line (from WIL) “I’d like to meet his tailor” sometimes being changed to mention what singer/songwriter (A: James Taylor). The Fire Within went from YHC to Popeye for a belated appreciation of forcing YHC to face his fears of doing weighted crabwalks in last week’s beatdown.

    Paradox has been hard at work with planning the Brother’s Keeper 500. Look for details soon.

    Paradox also prayed us out.

    Thank you, gentlemen, for showing up and for your effort today.

    I heard it through the Honeysuckle vine:
    Upon further reflection, “Werewolves in London” seems to capture the relationship between F3T and schisms. On the one hand, there are warnings about them and angst about what they do, but there is a clear undertone of admiration.

    SYITG,
    Honeysuckle

  • Mercy Toward Heretics – from Goose

    There is one among our company who claims to be a healer of rifts, recently those of the musical variety, while simultaneously spouting blasphemies (of the musical variety) on a very consistent basis. Feigning Homerian ignorance, this individual purposefully rubs an already musically chafed goose the wrong way at every opportunity while pretending to lead a Yankovician “Can’t we all just get along” campaign. Yes, there is, of course, a place for playful banter, but one you cross the line into blasphemous heresy, there is only one remedy. The heretic must be reformed, often violently, in order to mercifully save him from the fiery justice that such error duly deserves.

    So, today’s goal would be to straighten the bent mind and heart of the heretic via education and suffering. The topics that would be covered:
    -Who is Peter Gabriel? Are he and Phil Collins the same person?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be listed on the credits of any song on a Bieber or Lil’ John album? What about 3rd Bass?
    -Would Peter Gabriel be involved in any way in country (or western) music?
    -What songs did Peter Gabriel sing, and what impact did they have on life, the universe, and everything?

    After a robust warmup (necessary after Coyote’s flogging), we grabbed coupons and headed to the start of the new area of road, which Popeye has officially dubbed (and shall henceforth be known as) “The Stretch”. The Thang was simple. YHC would ask Paradox a question, and if he got it right, the PAX would mosey to the third set of pipes (50 or so yards away) and back. If he got it wrong, the PAX would sprint a suicide to the first, second, and third set of pipes in under 30 seconds, well…maybe a full minute…if my watch would just…hold on…ok, just friggin’ do it fast.
    After the run, a song appropriate the question would be played with corresponding exercises. As follows:

    1. What band were Peter Gabriel (PG) and Phil Collins (PC) in together before their solo careers?

    -Answer: Genesis. Dox got this one pretty quick, but YHC knew that he had pretty much maxed out his knowledge on the subject at this point, and luck would be the only thing that would save the PAX moving forward.

    Song: “That’s All” by Genesis, post PG exit: The Pax lined up and did standing lunges arm-in-arm, but on every “That’s All” each in turn left the group and did 5 star jumps on their own, solo.

    2. PG and PC went opposite directions when it came to how they approached lyrics: one used lyrics that sound deep but aren’t, while the other used lyrics that sound meaningless but are usually an effort at artistic depth. Which is which?

    -Answer: PG sounds crazy but is going for depth, while PC, ever the drummer, is just using cool sounding words that fit the rhythm. Dox got this one correct, too, which showed progress–he actually cared enough to distinguish and think through what made each musician unique. This was a good sign, but much work was clearly still needed.

    Song: “Sussudio” by PC (pure nonsense, but sounds like the beating heart of the 80’s): plank jacks, merkins on “sussudio”. YHC mercifully stopped this one a little over halfway through.

    3. Best 3/5 lyrics match–which one (PG or PC) is responsible for the following lyrics?
    1. When you told me you were drowning, I would not lend a hand…(PC)
    2. If looks could kill they probably will in games without frontiers, wear without tears (PG)
    3. Don’t you know you’ve got to shock the monkey, shock the monkey tonight (PG)
    4. And the bulge in my big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big (PG)
    5. You could have a steam train, if you just lay down your tracks (PG)

    This is where some retributive purgation took place. Just playing the odds wouldn’t work here (and they didn’t), though Popeye, or the absent AB or Honeysuckle could get these in their sleep. The heretic, though making good progress, needed to see just how far away the goal of true reformation still was. The suicide was long.

    Song: “Big Time” by PG: penguins for the duration, BBSU on “Big”

    5. What was PG’s greatest hit, his most well-known song by far, and which is still rated in top five of music videos of all time?

    Answer: Sledgehammer. YHC thought this might be a gimme, but Dox’s disregard for PG as a person and artist as well as most 80’s music in general had brought him to this lowly state. Another suicide.

    Song: “Sledgehammer” by PG: block calf raises for the duration, curls on “sledge” and for the duration of the bridge

    6. And, last but not least, what was the PG song playing from John Cusack’s famous romantic boombox scene?

    Answer: In Your Eyes. Though Dox had the movie title, “Say Anything”, the song was nowhere on the radar, so the sprinting continued.

    At this point, an elderly man involved in the road project had backed his truck in just behind the barricade, which put him about 10 feet from us. And, there he sat, in his truck with the window down, pretending not to notice 5 men sweating to the 80’s with cinder blocks hovering over their faces.

    Song: “In Your Eyes” by PG: hold blocks in bench press position, skull crusher on every “in your eyes”.

    Time ran short on us, otherwise, our friend would have enjoyed some Shock the Monkey Humpers. Next time.

    COT and Popeye prayed us out.

    Many thanks to Dox for being willing to show up just to be singled out and treated like a leper for 40 minutes, and many thanks Safety Valve and Popeye who were willing to endure his reformation treatment. (Pope didn’t have a choice.) I’d say thanks to Peter Gabriel, but his music is a little outdated.

    SYITG,
    Goose
    1. In Your Eyes: hold block press, skull crusher on in your eyes

  • The Joy of Pain – from Kenna Brah

    Armed with a repartee of HIM building movements, THC lead the PX is following:

    Mosey to the JPAS
    Arm Circle Circuit 15x each set
    Imperial Walkers x15
    8 ct Side Lung Right, Air Squat, Side lunge Left, Air Squat combo meal

    Moed to the RAMP:
    #1
    Lizard (More like Gecko) Crawls halfway up ramp
    Crab Crwal Down 3x is about all we could do

    #2
    Reverse Lunge to the top
    Slow Karaoke Down, switch lead leg halfway down
    1x

    #3
    Side Lunge Up Switch Lead leg halfway up
    Lizard Crawl last half (Memory is fuzzy here)
    1X

    #4
    10 Each Set
    L/R Step Ups
    L/R 1 Leg Squat
    L/R 1 Leg Side Squat (Side Lunge with leg on sitting block)
    Dip position 1 L/R Leg lift

    $5
    Mario Jumps to th3 Stairs – Bunny hop up each stair- 5-10 Decline Merkins –
    Mosey to flag

    COT

  • Practice makes perfect – from Thighs

    This workout was a practice for the upcoming QvsQ that was being held in the near future at The OG. But it was raining, so we decided to move to the Gretna Flea Market. I had to modify the workout by a lot.

    We started the beat down with a warmup:
    15x Jumping Jacks
    7x Cherry Pickers
    7x Windmills
    10x Sun Gods (each arm)
    7x Merkins
    7x Mountain Climbers
    7x Toe Touches
    7x Tempo Merkins
    7x Squats

    We started with a Burpee Pyramid going up to 4 reps. Every 2 stanchions was a station.
    Station 1: Burpees
    Station 2: Catcher Burpees
    Station 3: Plank Walk Burpees
    Station 4: Pike Up Burpees
    We went from 1 rep to up to 4 reps and back down. But that smoked us.

    So, we did a long 30 count rest.

    We moved to doing The Gauntlet. Again every 2 stanchions was a station. After finishing a station, the PAX would run to the beginning and start the station work all over again and progressing to the next Station.
    Station 1: 3x Lunges
    Station 2: 10x Merkins
    Station 3: 10x Bobby Hurleys
    Station 4: 30x Plank Toe Touches
    We did 2 Guantlets

    Finally, we were going to do a Figure 8, but the Stations did not count right. So, every stanchion was a Station.
    We did 1 rep and moved to only 3 reps
    Hand Release Merkins
    Lunges
    Pike Ups
    Flutter Kicks
    Diamond Merkins
    Bonny Blairs

    After that set, we ran back to the start and did a set of ab workouts.
    We ended with the usual close out, sending us off with a prayer and enjoying the sun rise.

    Looking forward to next time!