F3 New Orleans

Category: New Orleans

  • A World Full of Magic – from Glitter Balls

    Weather: Cold, I think like 41⁰ but really, it doesn’t matter. It was cold.

    3 HIM showed up for the beatdown and we began.

    Warmup: 20x SSH, 10 Arm Circles, 10 Reverse Arm Circles, 20 Hill Billies, 20 Peter Parker, 20 Parker Peter.

    Mosey to the Mountain for 5 Burpees OYO.

    Thang:

    1 PAX runs to designated spot on the bridge while other two perform workout, swapping when all 3 have completed the run. Rinse, repeat:

    10m Forward/Reverse Bear Crawl
    Freddie Mercuries
    Dips
    Box Cutters
    WALT DISNEY WORLDs (Wide Merkin -> Diamond Merkin -> Wide Merkin)
    Air Presses (Thanks Hawg for reminding us how heavy the air gets)
    8-Count Body Builders
    Shoulder Taps

    5 Burpees OYO

    Mosey back to Pavillion for Mary consisting of:

    20x J-Los, 20x Flutter Kicks, 20x Cockroach, 20x Wife Pleasers/10x Right Legged/10x Left Legged Wife Pleasers, 20x Plank Side-Steps(?)

    COT: Praying for all those traveling to see loved ones this holiday, Now I’m off to see a Mouse about some Star Wars or whatever.

    Happy and safe travels and hoping we all get some quality family time. Please keep in your hearts those that have lost loved ones and especially those that don’t have family or friends during this time – holidays are hard for the lonely and we should be mindful of those in our lives that may not have the blessings many of us do.

    Gobble Gobble, etc.

  • Gather Around the Fire – from Paradox

    Since the dawn of civilization men have shared stories around Gods gift of flame. Tales of triumph and sorrow, passed from generation to generation, formed the foundation of our early history. So when 7 pax trickled into the Stage on a rather chilly bayou morning questions abound about the bright orange glow coming from the spare lot north of the Stage. There was Enron with his standard issue “what the hell do you have planned now” look. Goose with his “Will I get a call from the HOA” concerns. Tana with speculations about UFOs. Yankee with his usual “I’m not sure what it is, but I love it already” exuberance. Cuz with a steely eyed glance that spoke volumes. YHC reassured them that all will be revealed but in due time. Every good story needs to really simmer in uncertainty before you reach a rolling boil. The gloom was filled with mystery and somewhere on 40 arpent road Goats was cranking his car and testing the air with fartleks….so we knew it was time to get started .

    Warmup
    The usual warmups plus Goats coming in hot signaling 5:35am. I will say with the recent addition of “Live with Goats” every night on the GroupMe his tardiness is much more tolerated. Bumper mosey with hilarious Northshore tales from Goose about pedestrians questioning what exactly the PAX could be training for? Like “hey we are monkey humper/burpee/merkin triathletes but why don’t you mind your business and walk your schnauzer lady!”

    Back at the stage, we grabbed coupons in a single file rifle carry line and headed north, toward the campfire.

    Chapter 1: The Dark Years
    We settled our coupons around a blazing fire (large traffic cone with a LED light inside, propped on a coupon…no big deal) and YHC revealed that today was his 1 year F3 Manniversary. On November 16, 2021 YHC was at this very location as an FNG. Today’s beatdown would be a tribute to our PAX and the growth YHC has been blessed with since starting this journey. Every great origin story begins one of two ways: a scientist obtains superpowers from a freak accident or…a super nerd gains perspective from a dark period in his life and gets a chance to change his fate. YHC’s would be the latter.
    First exercise was dedicated to the Pre-F3 Garage Bro Circuit training that I was doing irregularly at home. Everyone knows this routine. Slam some PreWorkout with 9000 mg caffeine…then Chest on Monday, Biceps on Tuesday and maybe Legs 3 weeks later. Rinse and repeat until its April and you realize you must swim in an oversized t-shirt at the company picnic again because of a “rash”.

    100 RING OF FIRE incline merkins
    50 RING OF FIRE decline merkins
    Colt 45s
    Bolt 45s

    Chapter 2: Chance Encounters
    YHCs very first exposure to F3 was at our backyard tee ball league. While showing my kids how their old man used to serve up nasty sliders at HHS I overheard two men in conversation:

    Goats: Hey Man you posting this Saturday? Goose had us doing monkey humpers at peltier park last beatdown!

    (Proceeds to demonstrate a monkey humper in front of God and all his children)

    Enron: Yea that sounds awful, cant wait!

    I dashed to cover my children’s ears before realizing these men were in some sort of top secret workout group. The seeds of curiosity were planted. (At this very same tee ball league I met a young stepper named Adrian Maught before his transformation into Yankee Broseph/Joseph/Oh No).

    25 monkey humpers were completed and the Lafourche sherriff made some real slow drive-bys

    Chapter 3: The Goose Nest and a Leap of Faith

    Fast Forward a few months, while having Dinner at the Goose nest and meeting the Goslings, Goose’s M mentioned that he leads a workout F3 thing in the front of the neighborhood. Ultimately I think it was the enthusiasm that she displayed about how much of an impact it had made on Goose that led me to inquire more. One pinned location text message later and I was set to meet a new friend and several complete strangers in the dark at a “green space” in the neighborhood. I knew there would be fitness and I knew I would get a name I didn’t like (I had personally picked out Doctor Strange but Goose had me beat by a mile).

    In honor of our M’s having great influence in inviting FNGs we partnered up to complete
    P1 Coupon Slalom Hops while P2 20 Thrusters. FlapJack
    P1 Coupon Slalom Hops while P2 20 Coupon Swings. FlapJack

    Chapter 4: The First Beatdown

    The details from that first beatdown are always hazy but a few things standout to me:

    1. During that first beatdown I was indeed welcomed with Open Arms. From Cardinal showing me modifications to Enron keeping things light while critiquing Gooses form I never felt like a stranger to this group. Goose explained everything with clarity and detail.
    I hope to pass this along to every FNG.

    SONG: Creed With Arms Wide Open- Coupon step ups on song then Coupon Merkin with side plank reach on every “arms wide open”. It seems the crowd was very split on love/hate for Creed.

    2. My very first Thang in F3 was The Cupid Shuffle (see below), a song that previously annoyed me to no end was transformed in front of my eyes into tortuous shoulder/chest monster. Needless to say I have been quite obsessed with the creative process of building and sharing beatdowns and the joy I get from this process can’t be understated. Months later when creating my very own beatdown I remember Goose telling me that besides a warmup and COT there were very few rules. It was like that scene in the Matrix where Morpheus shows Neo the “white room” where he can summon anything he thinks of. (not saying im the chosen one but it’s a decent analogy).
    SONG: We completed the Cupid Shuffle : Merkins on Down Down, Mountain climbers on Do your dance, left plank, right plank shuffle, then mountain climbers on walk it out.

    3. So, building beatdowns is great but truly what has kept me returning to the well of F3 is the power of shared suffering during an exercise with men you trust at both sides. During that first beatdown we wrapped up with a classic “Tubthumping” by Chumbwumba. I remember watching Enron react to this announcement. The slight head nod of recognition followed by the neck crack to signify that he would risk a heart attack to not be defeated by these burpees. He took the challenge personal, and I felt the need to not leave him or any of these other men to do burpees alone.
    SONG: Survivor by Destinys Child: SSH on song, Burpees on Survivor.

    4. Finally, my first beatdown was complete and I found out Paradox would now be my name for most of my new social circle (M’s and 2.0s included). There’s a great camaraderie that comes along with these silly names and brough to mind an old classic TV theme Song.
    SONG: Cheers Theme song- Rifle carry circle march and Man Makers on Name and Came

    We wrapped up with Dealers Choice Mary to signify every man bringing something to the table.
    LBCs, 20 deg to 90 deg (nice selection Goats)….then something special happen.
    Goose still had an ace under his sleeve and unleashed Pickle Pounders to F3 Thibodaux for what I think was the first time. It was ….well….it was something.

    Countoff , Name off, and YHC prayed us out with tremendous gratitude for God bringing me into this group. Special thanks to Goose for the EH and to all the guys who come out to get a little better each beatdown.

    Cant wait for another great year.

    SYITG
    Pdox

  • Is there a wind block anywhere? – from PVC

    Trying to keep warm on a crisp 45 degree morning with a constant 15mph wind

    Warmorama:
    Low slow squat, Grassgrabber, Abe Vigoda, Imperial walker, Hillbillies, Peter parker, Arm circles, Parker peter

    Exercised at the corners of the end zones: Merkins then sprint to other corner, Big boy sit ups, Sprint and lunge, sprint and side straddle hop for 2 rounds

    Met at center of the field to play a ring of fire frisbee with 2 burpee penalties. Quite a challenge with the winds. Lots of burpees to be had. Side straddle hops while not active throwing or catching the frisbee. The Golden Glove goes to Cyber Cajun, I can’t remeber him ever dropping one.

    Coolorama:
    Low slow squat, Grassgrabber, Abe Vigoda, Imperial walker, Hillbillies, Peter parker, Arm circles, Parker peter

    COT

  • Triple Threat at The Foundry – from Fracsac

    Eight Veteran Pax showed up at the Foundry with the intent to lead. YHC attempted to inform the other seven of the Q sheet and how easy it is to use. It did not go well, and went something like this:

    YHC: Use the Q Sheet guys, it’s not hard.
    Tool: Shut Up!
    Kuch: Yeah, LVCC Rules! Who dares challenge me?
    Da Parish: I think this calls for a cage match!
    LVCC: Oh, it’s on!
    YHC: What the….????

    And so an epic battle to take the Q ensued, which seemed completely unnecessary. Glitterballs was the first to go down in what can only be described as a cloud of dust which coincidently looked like glitter. Saban called out that he would no doubt be in the championship round, but he suffered two losses, one coming from Glitterballs before he fell. Abacus optimistically calculated how he could win, but distracted himself by attempting to decipher his odds and went down like a bead on a metal rod when turned vertical. High Rise rose up to the challenge, then went back down, because I suspect that’s how he’s built. Da Parish was seen stretching well outside the designed protection area. Not really sure why he would want to be there, but hey, you do you right? That left YHC, Kuch and Tool standing. After taking a severe whooping from both, YHC yelled “No Mas!” which is weird, because I don’t speak Spanish and don’t really even know what it means but it worked and they backed off leaving me in third place. Kuch got a little dirty and pulled out the Claw which surprisingly took down Tool. I mean, the guy has a hardware store, how does he lose to a claw? Anyways, that’s how we ended up with the three 15 minute Q share. Kuch the winner, followed by Tool, then YHC third.

    Kuch took the pax around the track and to the open area for a warm up, then started with 8 count body builders just to remind the pax he was large and in charge. He did some other warmup stuff followed by 5 burpees OYO. People’s run to the Foundry for a couple minutes of Mary, then passed the Q to Tool.

    Tool assigned stations: There were 4 stations of various exercises such as pull ups, step ups, decline shoulder taps and burpees. Timer included lunges and squat jumps. There were 4 rounds, so it was changed up by Tool as he desired to show his dominance. Tool then informed YHC it was my turn, and he emphasized not to screw it up.

    10 Burpees OYO, as that seemed to be what the pax wanted. This was just to give myself some time to figure something out. I then did what I often do in these situations. I asked myself, “What would Triple Shift do?” So I gave the LVCC the gift of sore legs with a mosey to the open field for the genuflect lunge routine. 1 full genuflect followed by 2 lunges, then 2 genuflect and 4 lunges, etc. Continue up to 10 genuflect and 20 lunges. Triple Shift bailed me out again! Mosey back to the flag for COT.

    NMM

    The Foundry is alive and well, so if you’re looking for a fun and challenging Wednesday beat down, take a look at the Foundry,

    It was cold again this morning, 46 degrees with a cold wind making it feel like 40 degrees. It’s nice to have hurricane season behind us though, so I guess we should welcome it. At least it was dry.

    The Q sheet does need some love. Remember, we are an organization of leaders, not an organization with leaders. If you don’t step up and lead, you will slowly become a consumer. Don’t be a consumer, be a leader. You can Co Q with another pax if you would like, or take the whole thing. Sometimes pax need a little push, so feel free to give that gentle nudge, respectfully, to get others to step up.

    SYITG

  • Fartlek: It’s a Swedish Word, You Juveniles – from Goose

    YHC pulled up earlier than usual to an empty parking lot with some distant hopes that the beatdown that I created last night might actually be avoided. But, Enron drove in only seconds later followed closely by Fence Post, so I pulled up my big boy pants and stepped out into the cold.
    Enron was in his typical warm weather gear, and Fence Post was following suit, though we still had a solid 7 minutes to wait to see if Goats would make good on last night’s commitment. So, despite the warm mumblechatter, these two scantily clad men were shivering as 5:30 slowly arrived. Slag was thrown on Goats for not showing after talking it up again, and the warmup began with the usuals.
    Then, quite unexptectedly, just before the high knees and butt kicks, Goats actually showed up–he had been wrestling muddy dogs, otherwise he would have even been on time. So, it would be four of us after all.

    Thang 1: Fartlek
    So, Burpee is a guy’s last name–the exercise has nothing to do with burping, and any association is purely coincidental. Fartlek is a Swedish word that means “speed play”, and it has nothing to do with licking farts. Any association is purely inappropriate, so stop thinking about it. What are we, 7th graders? You can’t even lick a fart anyway, it’s gas. You want to argue about that? What would you do to test it, pinch your nose and waggle your tongue around in the air? It wouldn’t work, so cut it out. I’m trying to write a decent, mature backblast here. “Fart lick” sounds like an insult from a late 80’s/early 90’s movie, and I would hope we’re beyond that now. It could also be an F3 name for an FNG who’s a big runner, but that would be distasteful and rude. (I guess a gas could technically be frozen quickly into a solid at some ridiculously low temperature, but I can’t imagine the effect that would have on your tongue, or your rectum, so just stop it.)

    A Fartlek is basically a training routine for runners to increase speed and endurance by varying your speed at different intervals while continuing to run. So, this morning, we would run the mile around Rich Man’s Loop and and through the townhouses for a full Fartlek mile, sprinting from every third to fourth light post and jogging the rest. Goats and Fence Post were none too excited, but they kept up much better than they expected, both showing massive improvement over the last few weeks.

    Thang 2: Lt. Dan
    Since we’ve had so much focus on upper body recently, YHC decided we needed a good leg shredder, so after Fartling, I mean Fartlicking, no, leking, we would throw down on some Lt. Dans. (“But, Lt. Dan, you ain’t got no legs.”). Starting at the edge of the concrete with one squat and two lunge steps, then 2:4, then 3:6, we made our way past the benches and to the street and back continuing to add one squat and two lunge steps up to about 12:24.
    At this point, the legs were dead, so it was time to get back to the upper body.

    Thang 3: More Than a Feeling
    YHC cranked (after a few tries) the song “More Than a Feeling” by Boston. PAX held high side planks (with opposite hand in the air) during the verses (alternating on each verse) and during the refrain, held two-handed high plank and did merkins for every “more than a feeling.” And, more than a feeling it certainly was.

    Jumped up on The Stage (a.k.a. “The Bird Bathroom”) for 15 L-Leg Step-ups (it had been a while since we did legs), 15 Irkins, 15 R-Leg Step-ups, and 15 Derkins.

    7 Minutes of Mary including Freddies, The Alphabet (uppercase), LBC’s, Wife Pleasers, and Penguins (nice and slow)

    COT and Fence Post prayed us out. Much gratitude for this awesome crew and for the men who were willing to enter into what looked on paper to be a stupid workout. We completed it because we got up early to do something hard together, and we’re now stronger for it. Honored to grow with you gents!

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • DJ Deck of Death Vol. 2: She’s a BrickHouse – from Paradox

    Co-YHC arrived at the Stage Resort and Casino behind schedule to find Pit Boss Ronnie solo stretching and ready to put the Pax on a heater. He had obviously gotten warmed up on a few hands of Jack himself as he was donning less than his usual Enron cold weather gear (them north La boys just grown different ya know) . Pleasantries were exchanged, the plan was set and the tables were ready. YHC would hit the Pax with some deep house pain with a few brick synthesizers, cleanse the palate with a track mosey then Ronnie deals the deck of death in all its glorious forms. Goose, Tana, and Cardinal soon shimmied up ready to put those pickleball paychecks on the line. The tracks were hot and the table even hotter but these 5 PAX soon learned that at the Stage Casino …the House always wins. Roll that beautiful bean footage!

    Warmup
    The usuals plus a bumper mosey cus it felt right.

    The Thang

    Song: Beastie Boys- Body Movin
    Put bricks together and raise them above your head, complete Tin Soldiers/Zombie Walk for song with special Brick Jane Fondas on “body movin”: bring double brick formation to knee and alternate sides in rapid sequence. YHC could actually hear Montanas will power break after 25 seconds of Jane Fondas and he endured the remaining 35 minutes of beatdown off of shear determination. The Tana legend grows…#TanaTransformation #ManBunCity

    Deck of Death BlackJack- Various #’s of Shouder Tap Merkins, Incline Merkins, Carolina Dry Docks, Bear Crawl Circles

    Song : Sea Shanty, Row Boys Row Boys Row!
    Pax in plank formation on bricks, Merkins on Sally Brown (shes the one for me!) and when the row sequence starts lift left brick/right leg then right brick left leg up . YHC is starting to pick up special PAX preferences and I can feel Cardinals love for Sea Shanties growing each beatdown.

    Deck of Death Poker: Goose cleaned up with Trip Aces! Which meant: 100 calf raises, More Shoulder Tap Merksin, WW2 Situps

    Song: R. Kelly – “I believe I can fly”. YHC took it alllll the way back to 8th grade graduation. Brick Appolo Ohnos during the song with Bent Brick Flys on the Chorus. This was a special type of burn. YHC asked Goose if he, in fact, believed he could fly. He informed all Pax that the only thing he believed at the moment was fiery hatred for R Kelly.

    Deck of Death High Card/Low Card: My Memory is hazy here but I do remember 100 SSH and potentially Hand release merkins. It was a classic Monday Chest day by chance.

    Dual Song Finisher
    Roxanne by the Police: PAX in plank on bricks, “Roxanne” is a merkin and “put on a red light” is a plank jack. Absolute brutality.

    DJ Mary: Calvin Harris “Too Close”. Wife pleasers, LBCs then about 90 seconds of Pax giving everything left on Freddy Mercuries.

    Count off, name off and Announcements
    Lots of rumors on the street about a Cardinal Q on Saturday??

    COT and Goose prayed us out

    Great effort and push on those long plank holds. Set the tone for anything else a Monday could bring our way.

    DJ DOD volume 2 in the books, He’ll return when you least expect him.

    SYITG
    Pdox

  • A VQ Begins A 39th Trip Around the Sun – from Glitter Balls

    5:20am – 41 degrees. All but 5 of the cinder blocks are missing under the ramp.

    Off to a great start. Dispatch PAX to the Wisner Bridge cache and start setting up for VQ. Forget speaker.

    Putting the “V” in this “VQ” right off the bat.

    Let’s start while 2 heroic PAX are retrieving more blocks.

    The Thang:

    Warmup – 20x SSH, 20x IW, 15x Mountain Climbers, 15x Peter Parker, 1x “Get Cinder Blocks from Kuch’s Car”.

    Partner Sets –

    Set 1 – 50x Block Burpees, 100x Curls, 150x Rows – partner rifle carries block to top of ramp and back.

    Set 2 – 50x Block 8-Count Body-Builders, 100 Squats, 150 Block LBCs – partner runs to end of Museum landing and back.

    Set 3 – Both Partners together split 150 Step-ups, 200 1 Legged Wife Pleasers (w/ block).

    Mary – Skullcrushers, Heavy Mercury’s, Mountain Climbers, Flutter Kicks.

    6:15am – COT, Announcments, Intentions, Prayer, Fist Bumps.

    My 10th week of F3, my 10th week of Swolefest. To say this has been transformative is an understatement and I thank each an every man I’ve met and had push me over these 2.5 months time.

    Today was my birthday and I wanted to Q to kick off my last run of the 30’s strong, and as I said, begin a year wherein I walk into the doctor’s office at 40 and CHALLENGE them to test me!

    A big thank you to Kuch for always sending out that PM text to the LVCC and keeping us focused and engaged with each other. See ya’ll for my 11th Swolefest in 2 weeks, taking the family to go see the Mouse in Orlando for the holiday.

  • Wisdom from Kenna Brah – from Kenna Brah

    Started out with just YHC and Charmin so we focus on form and mobility.

    Did some Self Love, Standing Twists, standing windshield wipers over some of the playground equipment.

    The Thangs:

    Do 10 pushups at each light pole, followed by lunging to the next light pole for 10 light poles. Coming back was back pedaling between each light pole with 10 BBS at each one.

    Then did some combinations of inclined pullup’s (both over and underhand grip), inclined merkins, dips, and hangs off of the pullup bar.

    Finished with some cooldown stretching (think good mornings and toe touches, but slow) and some more self love.

    Name-O-Rama, and COT to finish it out

  • Ultimate 5K – from Klinger

    Ultimate 5k

    Today was the first use of what I called “Klingers revenge” but sounds better as the Ultimate 5k

    16 people showed up got a quick warm up with some merkins and side straddle hops
    Followed by some movement prep
    Work out follows
    100m run
    10 merkins
    100m run
    10 burpees
    100m run
    10 squats
    100m run
    10 big boy situps
    Times all that by twelve and you get the ultimate 5k
    I knew it would be super challenging and some big kudos to our regular over achievers making us all look bad Hawgcycle Mahatma and Rudy

  • Cool & Crisp Renaissance – from Fracsac

    Sunday morning in New Orleans. A crisp 42 degrees with a cool breeze making it feel a bit chilly. With a shovel flag planted and Old Glory flying gracefully 5 HIMs faced the bacon to start the warmup with classic rock streaming.
    Post warmup mosey to an open spot near the big lake for Embrace the Suck:
    3 minutes of 6 x SSH, 6 x Merkins, 6 x Bobby Hurley over and over. One minute rest then rinse and repeat x 3.

    Mosey back to the fountain for tabata.
    8 rounds of step ups with 45 seconds work and 15 seconds rest.

    Mosey to tree line.
    Bear crawl to tree 1 and burpee x 1.
    Bear crawl to tree 2 and burpee x 2.
    Continue to tree 5.

    For the return trip:
    MoT is skipping with 5 squats at each tree.

    Head to back of NOMA for Sunday Mornings x 5.

    Mosey to flag. 30 seconds remaining, so low plank jacks x 10 IC ‘cause Hawgcycle says we need to do these.

    COT

    NMM

    This was likely the coldest day in the Fall of 2022.

    YHCs glutes and quads were still sore from Triple Shift twisting them in directions they didn’t know they could go yesterday. Just thought everyone should know.

    Hawg was right, low plank jacks just feel right.

    No Ranger Panty sightings today. We still have plenty of cool days coming, so fingers crossed!!

    SYITG