Category: New Orleans

Disclaimer:

The following is a modified replay of a beatdown and blast from October 22. Thangs have been changed to protect the innocent. Butttt…since nobody is innocent, Duke can go ‘head and roll that bean footage like he’s Randall Floyd en route to buy Aerosmith tickets.

In reality, YHC’s 2.3 got in and out of his crib 7,348 times, so yeah…modified re-run. Deal with it.
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Key Takeaways from The Morning:

– This was a baseball themed beatdown and based on the throwing warm-up, we have a lot of work to do before we start riding up on our BMX’s and accuse folks of bobbing for apples in the toilet. Coyote and Pope were the only exceptions here. Our B-Rods as it were.

– I think Dilly pointed out that Cardinal’s otherworldly crab walk talent apparently transfers to nurring. Seriously…the guy literally moon sprinted around the bases like his hair was on fire. Sha mon, hee heee!

– While we’re on Cardinal, he was rocking the ANIMAL tank today. When I say rocking, I mean dang. This dude is ripped. I challenge you to find another man in the cloth with this brand of guns. Seriously…Contarini, Law, Richelieu…these Cardinals were fartsacking Crossfit workouts two weeks in.

– Backward lunge walks are unnervingly difficult. Unless of course, you do them Picadilly style, then it’s more of a klaw. Yeahh…you get it.

– A combined 800 reps of ab exercises was something. That said, Wet Tap’s grin seemed to grow with each rep, no doubt due to the turquoise euro trash tank showcasing his 12-pack mural of abdominals.

– Speaking of tank tops, only Paradiddle could pull off wearing a Kenner dress shirt and Fidel Castro’s field cap…and still look cool. ¡Viva la Revolución!

– Apparently, the best way to shut down Enron chatter is to talk about baseball. I assume this is because he’d rather play with his own stick, cradling it, swinging it, all to keep the ball in the head and then whack at other men’s sticks to get at their balls. (Lacrosse, people. Enron played lacrosse…sheesh.)

– Ragnar Montana switched from man bun to a pony tail. It’s pretty impressive. Looks like an eternal flame over his head like the Presence at Pentecost.

– Goose.
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Warmarama

Mosey to baseball field for pre game warmarama
Side straddle hops
Windmills
Arm circles forward
Arm circles backward
Cherry pickers
High knees 15 yards, back
Butt kick 15 yards, back
Carioca 15 yards, back
Extended nur 15 yards, back
Warmup throw & catch with partner (In cadence)
— Wild throw = 1 burpee
— Dropped ball = 2 burpees

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Chapter 1: 1830 – 1845

How many perfect games have been thrown? 23

There are many references that seem to allude to a crude predecessor of baseball as far back as the late 1700’s. In 1845, Alexander Cartwright, considered the true father of modern baseball and a member of the original New York Knickerbockers, wrote baseball’s first code of rules. These rules made up the core foundation of the sport we know today. Of note, you could no longer throw the object or ball at the opposing player to “put them out.” A shame, really.

To celebrate Mr. Cartwright’s contribution in 1845:

Pre-Thang 1: 1845’s
– Bear crawl to first, 18 burpees;
– Bear crawl to second 45 leg lifts;
– Bear crawl to third, 18 Bonnie Blair’s (the hard way);
– Bear crawl to home, 45 lbc’s

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Batter Theme Song #1: Centerfield

– Hillbilly squat walkers during verses
– Bobby Hurley’s on refrain

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Chapter 2: 1845 – 1903

What is the distance between home plate and the pitcher’s mound? 60 feet, 6 in.

In 1876, the National League was created. By 1901, the rules as we know it were instituted. In that same year, the American League was formed. In 1903, the first world series was played between the Boston Americans and the Pittsburgh Pirates. The Red Sox won. They won 91 games that season.

In honor of that achievement:

Thang 2: 91’s

Lunge walk to first, 91 SSHs
Lunge walk to second, 91 freddie mercuries 1:1
Lunge walk to third, 91 LBC’s
Lunge walk to home, 91 flutter kicks (2:1)

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Batter Theme Song #2: Glory Days

– Leg lifts during verses
– LBC’s on refrains – try of 25 each refrain

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Chapter 3: 1905 – 1945

Who was the first team Babe Ruth played for? Red Sox

By 1905, as baseball was being recognized as the national pastime, a commission was formed to investigate the true origin of the game. Was it based on the English game of “rounders” or the American game of “Old Cat?” It is during this investigation that Abner Doubleday mistakenly found his way into baseball founding history lore. His involvement has been firmly debunked over the past decades. Omaha missed the memo.

Thang 3:

Sprint relay race around bases; two teams; sprint in oppo direction (one pax toward first base and the other toward third.

– Round 1: Normal Sprint – non runners are doing SSHs, winning team does 15 groiners; losing team does 15 burpees

– Round 2: Nur – winning team does 25 leg raises; losing team does 100 LBC’s

– Round 3: Backward lunge walk/frog hops – winning team does 15 bobby hurleys; losing team does 25 prisoner squats

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COT, Cardinal bestowed the ANIMAL tank upon Pope…very well deserved. Tap passed the Euro Trash (I recommend calling her Gigi moving forward) to YHC. Fortunately, turquoise works perfectly with my complexion and sporadic back hair.

Paradiddle prayed us out.

Even though this morning was not a true original, I had a blast. YHC’s themes are a bit of stretch, and I appreciate the PAX playing along. You never know how it’s going to turn out, so you just jump in. As Yogi Bera once said, “The future ain’t what it used to be.” Respect and Gratitude for each of you.

SYITG,

Boston Joe out.