“I’ve seen this disease process before” YHC sighed as he looked through the window at the man across his street. He was shooting free throw after free throw in his driveway , darting to get rebounds and boxing out his young children. They never stood a chance. Had he left cataracts on the table to come home and work on his game? The world may never know. YHC wasn’t sure how advanced the affliction was and emergent consult was needed.
“Yup, seen this one hundreds of times , You have to treat it before it progresses“ YHCs M (who finished much higher in her respective med school class than YHC ) reported, as we watched him miss layup after layup while the sun faded over St Johns Place.
She looked at YHC with concern and understanding …
“You know there’s only one cure for the Basketball Jones…”
Duke!! Stop practicing your sky hook and roll the beautiful footage!
8 ballers strong at the Den today. YHC put out the late bat signal for a few bballs and these guys never disappoint. The Den has previously produced some deep magic (shoes/no shoes) and two separate light up basketballs from two distinct houses on a day when the lights are out on the court?! The amazingness only added to the divine mystique of the Den providing what the pax need for that days beatdown.
Standard Warmup with Ronnie reminding YHC of his flag duties , midway through and a seamless transition setting them up. Further contributing to YHC’s theory that it will take 7-8 of us to accomplish what Goose has done alone for years. ( Dont worry , We’ll edit this out for Gooses ego later)
Coupon Indian Run with 3 OHP drop off.
Continues to be a crowd pleaser and chatter killer.
At the court we confirmed we would play in the dark and I set my mind to work on investigating which eye care provider sabotaged the lights for more referrals. YHC is slowly learning the Thibodaux Eye Mafia is nothing to mess with.
We accepted the darkness would mold us and The BBJ veterans knew there’s only one proper way to start this party…
SONG : Basketball Jones
Cheech and Chong version
Hold coupon OHP with high knees
“Basketball” is a Thruster
OR
Al Gore with Bobby Hurley on “basketball “.
YHC had planned to give the pax an option of a made free throw that would save us from thrusters.
AB got off to a hot start in his sandbagging by pretending to have never seen a basketball in his entire 48 years. Unfortunately EnValve followed suit and ya know what …why don’t we just enjoy the song. It’s a lovely , politically correct song after all.
Next up :
“Around the World”
Increasing Bobby Hurleys on corners. 1-11 (in honor of our favorite Duke Alum, Mr Bobby Hurley. He was #11)
At corner 4/ Thruster Station (reps #4, 8, 10, 6, 2)
You can do regular scheduled reps OR go double or nothing.
Make your free throw and you can skip your thrusters , miss your free throw and do double reps.
Transport:
Run -side shuffle -Nur
This is where AB took off his Scooby Doo villain mask and revealed he was actually there to teach a dadgum free throw seminar. Honeysuckle gave him a good run but AB edged him out to win the race and listen to a few seconds of planked up Hit Team while the less fortunate pax finished. The “Cardinal phenomenon” continues to amaze me. When a man is placed between thrusters or relative comfort his body will produce unimaginable athleticism. (Or in cardinals case , Star Wars trivia)
Da Main Event
Putout/Gotcha/Lightning
Standard rules
One time only Buy back in 20 thrusters
When out -mosey around the court perimeter
SSH in line
YHC continues to get a D minus in the “game explanation” category of beatdown construction and some pax thought they had multiple buy ins. When the confusion cleared and the riff raff took the penalty run it was Ronnie, AB and YHC to duke it out. Ronnie was only a few thrusters away from return when AB ended it with a timely layup. When the History books of F3 Thibodaux are written please make sure AB is in the top rankings for Sandbag Performance of 2024.
Space Jam Finisher
Suicides on song and None other than Bobby Hurleys on Jam.
A wobbly legged Coupon Indian Run back to Flags.
Push-up Pimp awarded to the Best of America for honoring the vocation with his good form and his sly dog tactics.
Announcements: Saturday is open? May challenge is upon us.
Prayer Intentions for retreatants, travelers.
COT and Suckle prayed us out
Epilogue :
They met that evening again at the Basketball Jones Recovery Center to observe their patient through the window.
Did the treatment take ? Was the cardio dose high enough? We would know shortly.
Across the street, Right on cue , the patient stepped out of the Platinum Falcon and picked up a basketball .
He held it for a few seconds remembering the scars then lined up a deep 3.
Nothing but net.
He left the ball to roll in the street and joined his kids on a bike ride.
“Another case cured “ my wife whispered.
I nodded and wiped a single tear.
“Some men just need the space ya know ….the Space to Jam”
SYITG
