F3 New Orleans

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  • The Friendly New Guy – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: Partly Cloudy, 64 degrees. Humidity 83%. Wind 10.5 m/h from S.

    As promised, an FNG showed up at El Diablo this morning. YHC took control and gave a very succinct and informative overview of the five core principles. Not to be outdone, Frac immediately started throwing his weight around and started making up stuff on the fly. He said YHC needed to assign a person to the FNG to get to know him throughout the work out. That person will then be responsible for sharing the information during the COT. Looking past the humiliation of having my power usurped I agreed to the idea and selected Pinewood for this task, given he was standing next to the FNG and they looked to be about the same age.

    Pinewood immediately declined the role, stating that he had no desire to get to know the FNG. Instead, he planned to put all of his efforts this morning into getting the Mt. Carmel girls running on the track to notice the mustache he has been carefully cultivating. For the next few minutes, we stared at him, asked him to move under the light, asked him to tilt his head in various ways, and then all finally agreed that we could indeed see the moustache he was talking about.

    I looked around the group seeing if there was anyone I wanted to pair the FNG with. Bogey had his hand raised high in the air as he jumped up and down yelling, “Pick me! Pick me!” I continued to scan the audience, looking for anyone. Bogey continued his jumping. I decided two people would be better than one, so I chose Thumb War and Mayhem.

    The work out went something like this:

    Warm-up: SSH x 31, Imperial Walkers x 15, Windmills x 10, Squats x 15

    Not wanting to make the FNG work out in the sticker grass at his first workout, I opted instead to circle up in a gravel pit at the end of the track. From there we did a Dirty McDeuce

    Round 1: Merkins, Lunges, Big Bois, Run a lap
    Round 2: Ranger Merkins, Monkey Humpers, Dying Cockroaches, Run a lap
    Round 3: Larry Craigs, Sumo Squats, Russian Twists, Run a lap
    Round 4: Carolina Dry Docks, Bobby Hurleys, Crunchy Frogs, Run a lap

    It was clear that Bogey did not care who was actually assigned to get to know the FNG. He was talking up the FNG from the very beginning, although we only heard Bogey’s voice…we never heard the FNG say anything.

    Next we moseyed to the wall for 2 rounds of Chicken Peckers and 1 round of Balls to the Wall.

    Then we moseyed to the playground for a station rotation:

    Station 1: L Hangs
    Station 2: Squats
    Station 3: Incline Merkins or Dips
    Station 4: Step Ups
    Station 5: Burpees x 10

    At this point, it became clear that Mayhem and Thumb War each thought the other was the FNG and they had spent the entire workout trying to get to know each other. So I suppose it as a good thing that Bogey at least took the initiative to tell the FNG all about himself.

    At COT, we welcomed Spanx to the fold. There was great discussion about who actually gets credit for bringing in the New Guy. Frac Sac tried to take credit since Spanx filling out his contact info on the national website eventually led to Frac getting a text. Bogey swears he Eh’d a runner at Pontiff named Brian, or Billy, or Bill. Triple will surely try to take credit since Spanx does his laundry there. But Spanx settled the discussion when he told us how he noticed this guy at Pontiff running with the F3 group in flip-flops. At that moment, he said to himself, “I want to be like that man. I need to get in that group.”
    So you’re welcome F3.

    After COT there was TLC and PLC. IYKYK.

  • It’s The Climb – from Paradox

    YHC recently finished “Into Thin Air” by John Krakauer, a first hand account of a tragic Everest expedition in 1996. It turned disastrous after a freak storm hit the summit during the only window multiple competing teams had to make it to the top. A great read if you want a deep dive into the world of high summit climbing and especially if you really, really never want to even consider strapping on a pair of crampons.

    But it got my wheels turning about bucket list items and the wild ambitions a man can find on this planet. (There’s a beatdown coming here later but just sit tight with your hookahs for a moment.)

    Ya see, There have been short periods of time when YHC had his own aspirations as a mountain climber. First in my early 20s and then I left a rock climbing gym with a hernia. The staff said “first time climbers” shouldnt recreate Tom Cruise mission impossible stunts but what do they know.
    Undeterred, a few years later I headed up a mountain in Breckinridge, CO (brek brah) during a med school trip and was met with acute altitude sickness. It will shock none of our local pax to hear that my body shuts down if I leave the state lines or an altitude of 100 feet. Those trips to the oxygen bar did have a silver lining as I found out my future M would leave her friends and nurse a redneck bafoon to health.
    Now in a real pickle, I had met both physical and even genetic barriers to my climbing goals . But nonetheless my 7th grade bucket list item remained.! Mrs Smith, our English/creative writing teacher (who planted the seeds of back blasting 101), had instructed us that no item was too far fetched to put on our list. So right there sandwiched between “Ironman triathlon “ and “learn English” was “climb or visit the 7 summits”. But here I was, like a 5:02am YJ bowel movement , stuck between a rock and a hard place as time ran out. The opportunities flushing fast and the midlife crisis impending as YHC saw his 7th grade dreams replaced by watching men in verbal altercations about the glory of a hand jive. Was my musical life just a sing-along this whole time??

    Panic stricken, I made a plan…

    I wouldn’t climb them free and solo. (Been there , done that, have the scars)

    WE would climb them.

    And we would climb them ALL in a 45 min free men’s workout.

    Duke!! Put down that FMLA paperwork!
    We are back to blasting !!
    Roll the beautiful mountain bean footage!!

    YHC rolled in a 1/2 minute late to a Lions Den boiling over with pax. Safety Valve continues to make up for a lifetime of missed SSH and provided a prompt courtesy warmup for the men. Fighting shadow GroupMe Q stealers and cumbersome garage coupons this beatdown theme was already heating up as a true uphill battle for YHC. We hit the usuals with continued slow high knee pax not maximizing their zone 2 cardio and our Lake Charles brothers wondering if the cadence here in Thibodaux is done in synchronized ear buds.

    YHC gave the pax a little warmup mosey while slipping in hints to the big Thang.
    7 nation Army was a nod to the 7 summits and the only riff I could try to learn on a guitar to looked cool in 2005.

    Next up YHC needed to sell the allure of the mountains. We had “ Big rock candy mountain “ by Harry McClintock and he’s a fine salesman, ensuring us there would be no rain, wind or bull dogs with real teeth.
    A perfectly weird tune that we performed MCs, plank jacks and coupon merkins to.

    These young sherpax also required belay certification. YHC obliged by splitting them into two teams and utilizing a standard issue Mardi Gras football for each team that needed to be transported around the civic center. They needed to spread out in a chain and throw the ball one man at a time. With a drop equaling 3 burpees. And continuous squats for any stationary pax. Most of the pax atleast feined understanding and this mini thang proceeded to reach 7.2 on the Maui Scale. Drone reports later cited early high altitude cerebral edema that lead to the opposing team thinking the 3 burpees happen everytime they threw their kloot. YHC sent the chopper 6 rescue for rendezvous back at base camp and the whole thing had to filed under “belayed gratification”.

    All that was left was Altitude Training so we headed to Lafourche Parishs highest point to complete 10 burpees then it was go time:

    Mount Thang a Lang

    How it should work: Team sends 1 man up the mountain to do reps up top while all alternate between 3 exercises (7-7-7) , rinse and repeat till entire team has competed.
    Winner has all team mates back and in plank

    7 rounds for the 7 highest summits on each continent(some modified for time)

    Authors Note
    ***
    There are almost as many geography schisms as Thibodaux sandwich schisms and it seems fiercely debated which of the seven summits are the “true seven”. This bd will reference the area of Oceani (Australia plus New Zealand plus Indonesia) and the concensuus across trivia books seems to be the below:

    1- OCEANIA

    Puncak Jaya (16k ft)
    what country?
    (Indonesia)
    Merkins – plank jacks -squats

    We started at a modest 16000 feet and this one may have been the toughest trivia across the board. YHCs Jawa is a little rough around the edges, compounded by wind and N. Canal traffic most of the pax thought I had sneezed and were still waiting on a question when we started burpees.

    Team 1 took a decisive victory with a shocking decision to put Maneater as the sprint finisher and Jennayyy I tell ya..this man just felt like running. It took a year or two but we finally found Maneaters trigger….NEVER Disrespect Olivia Newton John or he will run you into the ground. White Meat could not be reached for comment and we left his body and a copy of Big Lebowski for the natives on Puncak Jaya.

    2- ANTARCTICA
    Mount Vinson Massif (16)

    Penguins – Leg Raise – WW3 sit-ups

    Goosie got this one correct after heavy penguin hints.
    Team 1 had found there best horse and Maneater was again putting pure greased lightning.

    3- EUROPE
    Mount Elbrus (18k ft)
    ***Skipped for time but I think we did burpees for the trivia.

    4- AFRICA
    Mt Kilimanjaro (20k ft)
    (Easiest to climb)
    Coupon jumps, Donkey kicks, tin soldiers

    YHC meant to serenade the pax with Toto’s masterpiece here bit if you start to play it in your head now it will reach peak chorus when you finish this blast.

    5- NORTH MERKINA
    Denali (22k ft)
    Merkins- wide, regular, diamond

    All Merkins because nothing says USA like naming your most majestic gas guzzling SUV after your politically controversial named and renamed mountain.

    6- SOUTH AMERICA
    Acongua (27k ft)
    27 Monkey Humpers
    -Just seemed right

    Finisher….

    7- ASIA
    Everest (29)
    “I’m on top of the World”

    On top of having some great bd songs this band also gives you the chance to always end a tough conversation with the upper hand by saying “imagine those dragons” and then walking away. (Reader discretion advised, not for domestic use)

    We did Coupon Al Gore and Thrusters on “World”

    We finished with continuous thrusters and all legs met jello criteria.

    Back to the flag for supplemental oxygen, counting, naming and also we learned XL is actually Excel so we didn’t have anymore questions about mysterious t-shirt sizes and some mumbled comments about google sheets being superior.

    Announcements were mostly replaced by ways to let YJ know his Manniversary was a hoax or turn it into a “9th green at 9 “”situation. Backblast pending?

    Prayers and intentions for many in our regions and beyond.

    Thanks for climbing with me Pax

    I hope that in this Lenten season of lessened distractions God makes our own mountains more clear and that we have the faith to climb with what he has provided.

    Can you imagine those dragons?

    SYITG
    Dox

  • More Like South Nazareth – from Goose

    YHC and Pope pulled up to the Stage this morning to find a strange SUV parked and running in typical FNG fashion. AB had hinted at this possibility, so YHC exited the truck gingerly so as not to scare him away. Then, we noticed that there were two in the SUV, one of whom was bald, bearded, and bespectacled, and bore a striking resemblance to a pic that had been posted on the Learned League GroupMe the week earlier and had become the center of attention over the last couple of days. It was, indeed, Kendall Theriot, the only non-Mitchell to give AB a run for the local title for sharpest Llama. But, alas, KT had lost in dramatic fashion to his own son this very morning, and the fall was great. That fall included a loss in a wager with an agreement to join AB at F3 should he lose the tournament to him. It was good to finally put a body to the head, a voice to the digital trash talk. YHC couldn’t wait to hear the kind of chatter that would flow this morning (especially after Tana, a long-time friend of his, also pulled in). KT will henceforth be referred to by Teravanilli, his newly minted name.

    We started with the usual warmups after the disclaimer was given, and YHC was reminded of his first beatdown (my legs were completely shot after the warmup). Then, YHC explained that, since tomorrow is St. Joseph’s Day, we’d celebrate a little early with a St. Joseph themed beatdown today.

    The first thang was a partner Dora to steep a bit in the life of a carpenter in Nazareth (which was more like a builder, most likely). While one partner worked on 200 one-armed rows (sawing), 100 brick layers, and 50 thrusters, the other partner, the beast of burden, block-and-beared across to the opposite sidewalk before rifle carrying back. YHC chose music that Joseph may have listened to if he had a bluetooth speaker, traditional Nazareth pop music (well, more like South Nazareth).

    After about 3 minutes, our good, hard work was interrupted by a dream (“Sweet Dreams” by Eurythmics) wherein the Angel Gabriel told us that our fiance’ was pregnant via the Holy Spirit. Then, we discovered that we had to travel all the way to Bethlehem, our ancestral land, because of a census. So, we dropped everything right where it was and started hoofing it. We headed up the newly opened Stretch and made our way around to Rich Man’s Loop, where the townhouses began. It took us a while to get there since Mary’s pregnant and needing to go a little slower (this role was played impeccably by Teravanilli). So, the inns (townhouses) were all full. We knew this because we bear crawled to the front of each and jumped up and down asking for help (25 jump squats, for the 25th of December).

    The “inns” were rather close together, and the version of “Little Town of Bethlehem” that YHC chose was rather long, so the jump squats started quickly looking less and less like a desperate cry for help and more and more like a geriatric twerking class. Soon enough, however, we were given respite in a stable out behind one of the “inns”, and after the child was born, we started to get settled in our new location. But, once again, we were unexpectedly interrupted by Gabriel/Annie Lennox, and it was time to hoof it to Egypt, no time to lose.

    Egypt was over where the monuments to the kings of Thibodaux stand, and after a pickup-six, we completed a quick song routine to the expected Bangles hit “Walk Like an Egyptian”. Imperial Walkers for the duration and Bonnie Blairs for every “Egyptian”. So, pretty much 4 minutes of Imperial Walkers (there are only like 4 “Egyptians”–who knew?).

    Gabrielrhytmics came back one more time to let us know that the coast was clear, and we needed to head back home to Nazareth. This is where we’d live out the last of our days as a Simple Man (Lynard Skynard style), continuing our work as a carpenter (the rest of the Dora) until our time expired.

    It may seem like Joseph was jerked around, that Gabriel/God took his simple, predictable life from him and forced him to move from place to place, trying to keep his little family alive. But, what makes St. Joseph so great, and so blessed, is that he was willing to say “yes” and do what was asked of him, trusting that God would provide, and most importantly, that it was worth it. So, he gave up everything, but what he gained was the Creator of the Universe, God Himself, in his arms, in his home, every day for the rest of his life. Not a bad trade-off. He just had to let go of control, to let go of what He could picture, and trust that God truly knows what He’s doing.

    The PAX was impressed by Teravanilli’s willingness to show up and keep pushing despite a tough experience. We’ve all been there (and were there again just this past Saturday), so it means a lot when one more man makes the leap to go through it with us. The FNG naming took a while–there was so much good material–but YHC was taken by YJ’s suggestion at the very beginning of the beatdown to call him Teravanilli, an answer to one of the questions in the infamous trivia league loss. (If a millivanilli is 1/1000th of a vanilli, what is 1 trillion vanillis?). So, he’ll have a good time trying to explain that every time he introduces himself. We fully expect to see him Thursday morning.

    Announcements, COT, and Cuz prayed us out. Thanks for playing along this morning, fellas–I’ll forward any Ring videos from neighbors as I receive them.

    SYITG,
    Goose

  • May the road rise to meet you – from Akbar

    4 pax at the Marsh this gloom to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.
    Conditions: nice and cool

    Warm up
    SSH x 17 IC, IW, HIllbillies, grass grabbers, cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks, Self Love, Arm Circles x 10 IC. Jog to the second street corner and back. Plank while Jose 10k is in the John.

    Thang:

    17 reps of 6 exercises with a run in between, rinse and repeat.

    Wide Irkin
    Freak Nasty
    Pull Ups
    Superman
    Shoulder Taps
    Bouncy Squat

    Mary: Flutters, Crunchy Frogs

    Announcements: Whacker’s Kokomo camping this Saturday.

    Thanks for the post! SYITG,

    Akbar

  • May the road rise to meet you – from Akbar

    4 pax at the Marsh this gloom to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day.
    Conditions: nice and cool

    Warm up
    SSH x 17 IC, IW, HIllbillies, grass grabbers, cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks, Self Love, Arm Circles x 10 IC. Jog to the second street corner and back. Plank while Jose 10k is in the John.

    Thang:

    17 reps of 6 exercises with a run in between, rinse and repeat.

    Wide Irkin
    Freak Nasty
    Pull Ups
    Superman
    Shoulder Taps
    Bouncy Squat

    Mary: Flutters, Crunchy Frogs

    Announcements: Whacker’s Kokomo camping this Saturday.

    Thanks for the post! SYITG,

    Akbar

  • The Fountain of Youth – from Triple Shift

    With billions of dollars spent in the health and wellness industry, everyone is looking to sell some magical elixir or hawk some new idea to recapture one’s youth. Well, I’ve been in this fitness space for over 40 years and there is no magical pill, new diet, new exercise routine or some infusion therapy to prevent the aging process. Yep, I know, that’s pretty profound but facts are facts. We don’t live here forever but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take care and maintain the body that God bestowed upon us. The big rocks of quality sleep, quality food and quality movement can never be eliminated if you want to live a long life. I’ll talk about quality relationships and the longevity space for another time. Anyway, a book I am reading called Born to Walk by Mark Sisson talks about the ‘quality movement’ space and that 50% of our exercise should be focused on strength training. One of the most dangerous things one can encounter when they age is finding themselves weak and old. That is a recipe for injury, disease and premature death. Ouch!

    With strength training on my mind, I attempted to reincarnate the MUSCLESHIP! For all you newcomers, that was non running workout on Saturdays to help people on IR that couldn’t do Mothership. Simply put, we would lift heavy things and move around.

    WARMARAMA
    Head to the Peristyle to warm up with slow IC exercises. 10 LSS Squats, 10 low Tie Fighters (front and back), 10 slow cadence Imperial Walkers (#CrowdPleaser), 10 IC Lunge around the clock, 15 slow merkins, 10 slow Peter Parkers, 10 slow shoulder taps and 10 burpees IC.

    THE THANG
    Now that we are warmed up, we head to my bus and pick up all the KB and Dumbbells from the back. Everyone lines up single file holds one weight, and we start walking to the foundry. The last person in line doesn’t have a weight and does 10 BBSU and sprints the front where everyone stops, puts down their weight and moves back one spot and picks up the weight from the other pax member behind them then continues forward.

    Once we reach the foundry, Rudy’s chirping threw me off slightly but I quickly regained my composure and listed out the exercise stations. 10 pull ups, 10 merkins, 10 Bulgarian split squats, 10 squats, 10 dips with the timer being a run to the track, perform three burpees then run back. We performed 2 full rounds then finished up with 10 slow supermans.

    We head back to the flag in the same fashion that we went to the foundry.

    COUNTOFF, NAMERAMA, AND COT
    Closed with a prayer of gratitude for the life we have been given, especially with some of the pax member’s losing loved ones. Help us be strong for our loved ones, and our community so we can be a light in a dark world.

  • Pi Day at The A1c – from Einstein

    Pleasant this morning on the deck of the parking garage at the A1C ~ 60 degrees.

    WARMUP: all IC14x; toe touch, side staddle hops, neck rolls(snap,crackle,pops),
    shoulder rolls, high jack hi jills, book covers, popeyes, etc.

    THANG:
    Pi (3.14)routine on the inclined upper ramp:
    3 burpees up top, run down, 14 merkins at the bottom, run back; repeat 14 times
    totals: 42 burpees, 196 merkins, plenty of running

    MARY:
    American Hammers with extension, big boy sit-ups, Jose10 wife pleasers, BBQ hip stretch

    Good to have DarkWingDuck back in action. We missed the stalwart Moby – as he was helping
    a buddy with an early morning ride to the airport. Wonder if he took the golfcart.

    DarkWing prayed us out.

  • Where and what to do Coach? – from Shooter

    The title says it all if you posted on this semi humid gloom at the Scramble. Coach 10k had track stars missing relays as well as JV scrambling about what he texted in his EH. Should we ruck? Should we run?
    What did the message say? Oops, I was wrong. As for the relay, not much more than marking it on your arm can one do, unless of course I put you on the start line. Can’t let this one slide Coach 10k, the common denominator here unfortunately all pointed back at you for these two 😬😬.. Maybe it was the Yoga hangover from your sleep.

    Anyway, brief warmup with Abe Vogadas, toe touches, SSH, Imperial walkers and mummy kicks.

    3 Ruckers 20 out and back.
    4 Runners for about 4.1 miles.

    Appreciate Cowbell setting a better than normal pace for the YHC..

    Until the next gloom, race or ruck 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Hey! Who Stole Our Blocks? – from Einstein

    Cool morning at The Gipper this morning ~ 49 degrees –
    with Moby rolling up in his newly acquired golf cart, looking like Mr. Magoo, driving all
    over the AO. Barely Legal arrived soon after, sans golf cart, but with golf cart tales to share.

    WARMUP: toe touch, side straddle hops, shoulder rolls, hi-jack hi-jills, butt kicks, high knees,
    snap crackle pops, book covers, popeyes, side to side lunges, etc.

    THANG:
    Mosey to the back of the supply shed to grab the coupons.
    Holy Moly! They blocks are gone! YHC redirected the pax to the Berock Quarry Rock Garden –
    where we borrowed the Garden Club’s blocks.
    Three sets of coupon work seperated by a run around the Covington Triangle;
    Sets included: curls, rows, overhead press, side rows, grave diggers, blockies,
    windshield wipers, murder bunnies, sit-ups, etc

    Mary:
    Finished with Jane Fondas and a one minute planks

    T-Claps to Moby for running, not one – but two, laps around the Covington Triangle.

    Barely Legal prayed us out.

  • This ain’t bedroom Yoga! – from Shooter

    With darkness all around and the glistening of a full moon for illumination 5 PAX embraced the Gloom at Grannies. Steve, Russo and YHC chatted it up until Jose10k appeared out of the darkness. Behold it’s a right on time Cowbell? Nope, it’s the Wacker of bushes hooded up as he grumbles his way to the circle.. Chatter quickly shifted to the adjustments of springing forward and how us 40 somethings sleep patterns range from dream Yoga, to it won’t be long until we will have separate rooms with our significant others. Which ever the case may be, today would be a bit of a throwback to our tunnel of love that is often forgotten.

    Brief warmup of torso twists, arm circles, Cherry pickers, grass grabbers, Abe vogodas and toe touches.. Some of the numbers IC varied with Chatter overtaking the counts.

    Moseyed to the tunnel and selected two boulders from the drainage area of sorts with an alternative rock that Steve graciously found.
    We partnered up
    P1 completed reps with coupon while P2 utilized the tunnel.

    First round
    Chest press(boulders) mosey down Carioca the flat and Mosey up. R/R back and F/J
    Second round
    Overhead press (rock) & 8 count bodybuilder
    Mosey down/lunge walk flat and reverse. F/J
    Third round
    Squats (rock) & Mountain climbers
    25% mosey down, 50% flat and 100% up. R/R F/J

    Once completed moseyed our return to the bus stop for 10IC bench jump overs, 10IC leg raises breaking plane on the benches, inspired by Russo’s handstand demonstration months back challenging Bird YHC used the columns for a balls to the wall hold rounded out with 5 donkey kickoffs.

    Returned to the circle for some Mary.
    ETKs, LBCs, penguins, plank, chill-cut plank and wife pleasers.

    Counted off, announced Wacker camp out 3/22 and upcoming Zoolander Marsh madness, Inferno and Zoorich classic..

    Appreciate the post and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!