Blog

  • The Mande Monkey-Humpers

    Our regularly scheduled Saturday foreplay became irregular this morning, with both Shooter and Bushwacker respecting the time a little too much, misremembering the start time as 0600 rather than 0610.  A bewildered Tanked Up watched from his car as PAX would randomly show up and take off in different directions.  This “respecting the time” would become a bit of a theme for Bushwacker, who kept an especially strict eye on his watch for the entirety of today’s beatdown.

    Warm-Up:  SSH, Seal Jacks, IC x 25 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Windmills, IW’s, Hillbillies, IC x 15 / 10 8-Count Bodybuilders / Mountain Climbers, IC x50.

    The Thang:

    First stop this morning would be the gazebo for a COP.  Everybody grab your ankles and hold, while each PAX does 10 monkey humpers, rotating around the circle.  x2.  T-Claps to Chewy who, as usual, demonstrated perfect form.  (No one asked if this came from excessive practice.)  Around this time a drone began circling overhead, presumably sent by Captain Sparkles to get some aerial footage of the PAX for F3 Nation’s front page.  What could be better advertisement for F3 than a group of monkey-humping PAX?  Move over, Milkshakers!

    Next up, derkin wave.  Tank, being the indomitable beast that he is, suggested 10 derks per man while PAX holds declined plank, so we got to it.  After one round, YHC felt we still had a little left in the tank, pun intended, so we rotated once more with a single derkin per man.

    Final gazebo wave was an Al Gore hold while each man performed 10 squat jumps.  Quick 10 count and onward to the sloppy field for….

    BOMBS!  Partner up, P1 runs to the previously-coined “headless penis” and back to relieve P2, who began the work of accumulating the following totals: 50x Burpees, 100x Overhead Claps, 150x Merkins, 200x Big-boy Sit-ups, 250x Squats.  At this point, the Wacker, who was a thorn in my side throughout the beatdown, gave his own disclaimer: sit-ups are not good for you, military institutions have abandoned them, yada-yada-yada.  YHC briefly toyed with the idea of increasing the sit-up total, but our resident physical therapist stepped up, explaining how to use slower, more controlled movements to decrease the chances of injury, and so the attempted mutiny was quashed.  Modify if necessary, people.

    This one took a bit longer than expected, with all the running back and forth adding a decent chunk to our RRR totals, and so we didn’t have much time to do the planned third pearl of this morning’s beatdown.  However, despite Bushwacker’s increasingly desperate pleas to turn back, YHC figured we could at least complete part one of that pearl.

    So, keep your partners, and mosey onward to the far side of the bridge.  P1 performs 4×4’s (burpees with 4 merkins, and 4 mountain climbers per leg), while P2 bear crawls forward down and backwards back up the bridge.  Flapjack.

    Finally, pull Bushwacker off the ledge (literally, of the bridge), and mosey back to the flag to find Turtle, looking way too clean in a sparkling white t-shirt.  With Turtle jeering us on: Leg Raises, IC x20, Putins IC x 20, and… “Lob Lollies,” IC x 15.

    Countdown, nameorama, and Manny prayed us out.  Onward to the coffetería, where it should be noted that our faithful barista, who has put up with both the smell and disorderly conduct of the PAX for well over a year of Saturdays, is finally moving on to better things.  We wish him luck (and better tippers).

    Thanks PAX, I had a great time this morning – always appreciate the opportunity to lead you men!

  • High Hopes for 1000

    Well with high hopes of the Northshore shining like the North Star Standing out from the rest. I think the simple fact that other pax logging all kinds of miles including bike miles makes it hard for a strictly running pax to shine. No matter this F3 hopefull still would like to see that 1000 Mark broke. In high hopes our 10K Friday would get more participation with this Run Ranger Run as our ISI this month. It seems that the 4:45am is still just to early for some to get out the fart sack!! But I can always count on those Seal Team 6 our Above Average F3 Brothers to show up. Your Q Captain Sparkles trying his hardest to keep up and lead by example showed up just a little earlier to get some foreplay in it wasn’t much but was enough for Shooter to ask with a wondering voice “Captain you getting some foreplay in on a 10k Friday” with the tone of his voice I wasn’t sure if it was a tone of being impressed or concerns that the Captain has gone completely crazy, as if 4:45am isn’t crazy enough. Bushwacker still insisting he isn’t a runner but glides through the dark of the gloom with no signs of fatigue just gets to me since I seemed to struggle just to keep up.
    As always count off and circle of trust starts off our 10K Friday then were off wondering where is Steve maybe he will jump in mid way since he lives the closest to this AO.

  • F3 Baton Rouge, AO#2. Perkins Road Park, 2-7-2018, 5:30AM

    This is our first meeting for the AO#2 in Baton Rouge.   ALL had a fine experience in the dark gloom at 0530 this morning.    Several new and exciting exercises this morning. Thanks to CAT5 for the creativity!

    Not so used to running in the dark like this but it was fun. Tried to dodge all the water puddles from last night’s monsoon season.  More rain happened shortly after we finished at 0630.  All but Worms and Gabriel had to head to work so Worms and Gabriel had coffee and donuts at Ed’s Donut shop near by. Gabriel is the FNG today.

    We had our first un-announced visitor from another AO today.   Jiffy worked out with us. He is here on business from BIRMINGHAM, AL.  THANKS to Jiffy for working out with us and giving us pointers on operating the group.  Fine young man.  He is a specialty industrial lubricants specialist and works in the Sugar milling industry and other industries.

    Exercise Cad/OYO Reps Start Time End Time Notes

    Mosey x2 Around OYO 5:30 AM Around the baseball diamond x2. End at Home Plate.

    Diamond Bear Crawl OYO Bear crawl around the bases. 1,2,3,4 Burpees at each Base.

    Ring of Fire Cad 10 In a circle, take turns of 10 merkins while others plank.

    SSH Cad 20

    Black Jack (modified) OYO 5 Cross the baseball field, 1 Merkin, cross back, 1 Burpee.

    Mosey to Parking Bars OYO

    Freak Nasties Cad 10 Dips on Parking Bars

    Incline Merkins Cad 10 Merkins on Parking Bars

    Freak Nasties Cad 8 Dips on Parking Bars

    Incline Merkins Cad 8 Merkins on Parking Bars

    Freak Nasty Cad 4 Dips on Parking Bars

    Lt Dan (“he’s got no legs”) Cad 10 10 Count – Squat, Lunge L, Lunge R, Squat, Calf Raise

    Black Snake 1 All Mosey. Last man weaves thru to Front. (like Indian Run)

    6MOM

    Mosey to Parking Deck OYO

    Homer to Marge Cad 10 Lie flat on Six. 4 Count. Lift feet 6in. Raise to vertical. Back to 6in.

    LBFC (LB Flutter Crunches) Cad 10 On Six. Lift feet. Flutter legs while doing LBC with Torso.

    Leg Lifts Cad 12 Lie flat on Six. 4 Count. Feet Up, Out, In, Down.

    Manatee (not Superman) Cad 15 Superman position. Touch left hand to left foot, alternate.

    <By Rocket> Cad 10 Rocket called a Mary exercise that I cannot remember.

    Mountain Climbers Cad 15 6:10 AM From pushup position, run in place.

  • Solid!

    It was a beautiful morning for a SOLID workout.  DISCLAIMER, let’s mosey.  On the way to the Foundry we found some grass next to a pond to warmup:

    -SSH x 30 IC

    -IW x 30 IC

    -Mt Climbers x 30 IC

    -Arm Circles x 30 IC (15 ea dir)

    -J-Lo’s x 20 IC

    Let’s head to the Foundry for three rounds:

    -WWII Sit-ups x 15 (the Timer)

    -Pull-ups

    -Dips

    -Rows

    Let’s mosey to the track for 1000m of Hades:

    -sprint 400m, walk 100m

    -sprint 200m, walk 100m

    -sprint 100m, walk 100m

    Back to the SF for some Mary:

    -LBC x 20 IC

    -Flutter-kicks x 20 IC

    -Hello Dolly’s x 20 IC

    -Penguins x 20 IC

    -Real Freddie Mercury’s x 20 IC

    -Wife Pleasers x 20 IC (I could swear I felt Rudy looking…)

    Countoff, Namerama, Announcements, Shoutouts, and a Prayer!

    It was a pleasure to lead my brothers!

  • Can there ever really be too much foreplay?

    We could get the M’s to weigh in on this one, but YHC believes we all know the answer: there can never be too much foreplay, so long as it doesn’t interfere with the thang.  The PAX clearly agrees, with Shooter now traveling on foot to AO’s, Carpool continuing his streak of foreplay before each beatdown, and the Pelican – nixing the cigarette and cuddling – and opting instead for a little extra mileage afterplay.  These guys don’t need tips from Cosmo to get things going…

    Started things off with:

    10x – 8 Count Bodybuilders / Windmills, IW’s / 10 bodybuilders / SSH, Seal Jacks / 10 bodybuilders / High knees, butt kicks / 10 bodybuilders

    T-claps to Turtle who has now made 2 consecutive beatdown after his lengthy hiatus of hunting deer, ducks, gators, turtles, coons, otters, nutrias, squirrels, mice… essentially, anything that moves (legal, of course -no outlaw activity here – anything legal that moves).  Of course, with his return comes growing pains, not just for him but for the entire PAX.  YHC’s goal is to put a hurt on and see if anything slows down his mouth, but again, this is a question I believe we all know the answer to. (Nope.)

    So… mosey to the grassy amphitheater for a COP.: Jack Webb’s, 1:4 ratio, up to 10:40

    Then onward to the tunnel on pain for a partner routine using the hill: P1 runs backwards up, forward down, to then flapjack with P2 who is doing jump squats.  Then monkey humpers.  Then burpees.

    Mosey back with just enough time for Mary: crunchy frogs, leg raises, Putin’s, LBC’s, Freddie Mercs, Hello Dolly’s, all 20x IC

    Countdown, nameorama, Choppa prayed us out.  Thanks for letting me lead!

  • *Workout of the Underground F3 Renegades*

    This is a broadcast of the clandestine underground F3 network:

    AO: Planet Fitness

    QIC: Captain Sparkles

    PAX: Bushwacker, Captain Sparkles

    This movement is not so much a resistance as an addendum; iron sharpening iron while lifting iron!

    Thang:

    Tapping a few ISI moves from late last year, we performed a regression of merkins and sit ups, OYO 50 each, 35 each, and 15 each totaling 100 each without stopping.

    Over to the dumbbells for 3 sets of a circuit consisting of 10 dumbbell curls , 10 one-arm overhead tricep extensions, and 10 dumbbell flies. We then moved to the smith machine to grunt out 4 10 rep sets of shoulder shrugs. We wrapped up the resistance training portion of the beatdown with 3 10 rep sets of machine-isolated single arm bicep curls.

    With the run ranger run mission always looming , we jumped on the treadmills for 3 miles of air-conditioned cardio.

     

    We’re keeping our antenae up for signals from any possible outlaws interested in joining the cause, at no cost, in Covington, at planet fitness….

    [THIS BACKBLAST WILL SELF_DESTRUCT IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…….]

  • 610 Stomp and Crawl

    YHC arrived at City Park to find 2 strangers in the gloom – My Pleasure (from Raleigh) and an FNG he brought with him.  Coming from Raleigh to bring an FNG to the stomp – NICE WORK!

    Today’s workout: 30 minute out-and-back along the bayou, meet at the track for some extra work.

    Smooth and Cowbell set the pace, and we managed to knock out 3.5 miles in 7:45 pace.  Thanks for pushing me guys.

    Back at the track, we circled up for:

    • SSH x25
    • Bear Crawl out (30-40 yards), Crab Walk back
    • Peter Parker x25
    • Walk Crab out, Crawl Bear back
    • IW x25
    • Sprint out, 20 Derkins, Sprint Back
    • Floyd Mayweather x25
    • Frog Jump out, Squat x20, Sprint Back

    Mosey back to the flag for some final Mary

    • Flutter Kick x25
    • Dolly x25

    Circle Up to introduce our FNG to the 2nd and 3rd Fs.  Named “Minnesota”, as he reported that as the original home of his wife before remembering that it wasn’t Minnesota, it was Kentucky.  Two states that sound like, look like, and are right next to each other.  Sorta.  Or not.  His “Minnesota Missus”….

    Gentlemen, thank you for the opportunity to lead!

  • Counter clockwise in the gloom

    A surprisingly chilly Monday morning greeted the PAX at Pontiff playground.  YHC had checked the weather and must have mistook the “4” in 40s for a “7” in 70s.  Marlin, of course, was ready for the weather – dressed in full winter gear.  Clock struck 5:30, and 8 PAX took off out of the gate.  YHC was slightly worried – as some Rock City regulars have a tendency to roll in late, and we were GOING THE WRONG WAY.

    But off we went.

    COP #1: Avoid the swamplands and instead find a patch of gloomy damp grass.  Circle up, now 9 PAX strong as Hawg caught us on the way.

    • SSH x30
    • IW x30
    • Plank-o-rama: Peter Parker x25, Floyd Mayweather x25, Parker Peter x25, Mountain Climber x25

    Mosey continues the wrong way around the park.

    COP #2: The Playground.  Now 10 PAX strong, as Tool finds us – he ran the wrong-right way around the park eventually catching us on the opposite side…  So 5 stations

    • 15 Burpees (counter)
    • Pull-ups
    • Derkins
    • Low Slow Squats
    • Low Row Pull-ups (OK, so these were TOO LOW.  But lots of modifications to get a workout out of this.  YHC felt bad watching Walleye attempting to fold his 8+ foot frame underneath that bar)

    Repeat 2 circuits

    Mosey continues the wrong way around the park.

    COP #3: The Spartacus Bandstand.  Quick stop off for

    • Right Leg Step Up x25
    • Dip x20
    • Left Leg Step Up x25

    Mosey continues the wrong way around the park – to finally get to the Rock Pile.

    COP #4: Rock Pile.  YHC encourages PAX to go bigger, as we aren’t moving anywhere.  Focus on Form.  Cadence count will be slower.  Triple Shift and Jingle Vader both chose to show the PAX what “bigger” meant.  Gentlemen, I applaud you and hope one day to be able to lift a rock like that.

    • Shoulder Press x12
    • Curl x12
    • Row x15
    • Down-Up Squat x15 (sorry for the cadence misfire the first time…)

    Repeat 2 circuits.  One extra round of Shoulder Press just because.  Smarmy mumble-chatter heard from Rev Sox.

    Mosey back to the flag.  Doing my best to keep up with Mahatma – I’m not sure he even broke a sweat as he went sailing by on that last run.

    COP #5: Finish up with Mary.

    • Flutter Kick x25
    • Dolly x25
    • Rosalita x25

    Disappointed that we had no Bogey sing-a-long today.

    Finish up with Count-off, Name-o-Rama and Prayers.  Send everyone on their way with St. Ignatius Prayer for Generosity.

    Thanks for letting me lead, gentlemen!

  • well, hello mr. turtle!

    I, and many of my F3 brethren, have rolled in hot at the last minute, but never have I pushed the boundaries so far as to be tardy! Fortunately,  between my text and flashing of brights from blocks away, Captain Sparkles and Shooter knew to wait for the Wacker.  We pre-thanged a quick 2 mile run (despite what my mapmyrun app wanted us to believe) and were greeted upon our return by diesel fumes and over-cab lights of the man himself, Mr. Turtle (spoken in Shooter’s best imitative drawl).  And just to prove that YHC is not the only man who suffers from an occasional bout of RBS, or “Runner’s Bowel Syndrome”, Captin Sparkles availed himself of the Marsh’s facilities while the rest of us, respecting the time, got down to it.

    Thang:

    Each man did a solo circuit of 25 merkins, 10 pull ups, 25 freak nasties, and 25 squats while the remaining jabronies were cranking out endless LBCs.  Next, with tracking apps tracking, we mosied over to grandmother’s house where, while the restless crowd was planked up, each man took a turn to run  the length of the covered area, up the tower stairs, back down, and returned to tag the next man. The next mosey took us back to the marsh…AUDIBLE…all the way to the lake front. YHC and Shooter pulled up to the water ready to plank up in anticipation of Captain Sparkles’ and Turtle’s arrival when we looked back to see we were all alone in the gloom. With nary a moment to spare, we dropped for 10 burpees each and  got while the gettin’ was good. I believe the offical story had something to do with the amount of time remaining being insufficient for Mr. Turtle to make it there and back, and Captain Sparkles, always a shining example, adhered to the no man left behind policy that we hold so dear in F3.

    We counted, we named, we prayed, we mumble chattered.

    Thank you, gents, for stepping up this gloom to follow my humble lead….your abs can thank me tomorrow?

  • The Loop is in play

    Disclaimer….

    Warm up:

    1. SSH X 30
    2. Abe Vigoda X 15
    3. L/S/Squats X 25
    4. AC X 10F/10B
    5. IW X 25

    Now the Loop:

    Break into Pax of 3.  One of the Pax to the Great Lawn; One of the Pax to the Fountain; Third member runs from Fountain to Lawn; Guy at lawn then runs to Fountain….and so on and so forth.

    Great Lawn:

    1. Monkey Humpers X 20
    2. Lunges X 20 each leg
    3. Merkins X 20

    Repeat until teammate arrives

    Fountain:

    1. Rt Leg Step ups X 20
    2. Dips X 20
    3. Lft Leg Step ups X 20

    Repeat until teammate arrives

    Continual loop for 45 minutes.

     

    Great Lawn for a little Mary….

    1. LBC’s X 35
    2. AH/RT X 25
    3. Superman to Boat – 2 min

    COT – Count off/Announcements/Intentions/Prayer/Adjourn/Coffee/Laughter/Tears/Goodbye