F3 New Orleans

Blog

  • Splashpad without much of a splash – from Russo

    Fantastic weather this morning for a krewe of 4. Lots of good mumblechatter (most of which should not be repeated for posterity) among Steve, Shooter, Pelican, and YHC.

    Warmup
    Toe touches
    SSHs
    Sealjacks
    Grass grabbers
    Imperial walkers

    Thang – Tabata with bricks: one in each hand, 45 seconds on, 20 off.

    Two rounds of the following, interspersed with some core
    – Plankjacks
    – Cherry pickers
    – Overhead claps
    – Nutcrackers
    – Merkins with rows
    – Torso twists
    – SSHs
    – Tricep extensions
    – Arm curls
    – Air presses
    – Hallelujah Squats
    – Arm circles
    – Milk maids
    – Goofballs

    Corr (15x)
    LMCs
    Penguins
    Leg raises
    LBCs
    Flutter kicks
    Rosalitas
    Freddy Mercury’s

    90 second plank to close

    The usual COT, announcements, prayer to close.

    Reminder that Manny has Q tomorrow, Tanked up is going for the golds tomorrow at the Senior Olympics, there’s a spartan next week, and praise and rejoicing for a new arrival in the Shooter household!

    Thank you all for joining and reading and SYITG

  • Flag on the Play: BBQ’s Chiefs Victory Laps – from Jose10k

    In a scene that could only be described as part fitness, part fandom, BBQ showed up to the workout with a brand new Kansas City Chiefs flag, proudly waving it around after the Saints’ brutal Monday night loss. It might be the new flag of the A1C he claimed. The warm-up was a mixture of stretches, questionable dance moves (the music always inspires some moves), and a few BBQ chicken wings as the flag continued to flap in the wind, mocking all Saints fans present.

    Then, it was off to the courthouse for a set of 11s. Copperhead squats at the bottom had everyone’s legs shaking like a Saints’ defense on 3rd and long. Sprinting to the stairs, the team powered through calf raises on each step, praying their legs wouldn’t fail them halfway up. At the top, merkins awaited — because why not add pushups to chisel the upper body for the ladies?

    The race down the ramp and around the parking lot felt like a marathon, but with the crisp fall air making it slightly more bearable. But something was missing. The group looked around — where was Einstein, the brains behind the operation? Where was Darkwing Duck, swooping in to save the day? Alas, they were nowhere to be found. It was just Moby, BBQ, the Chiefs flag, and the painful reminder that leg day is forever.

    All in all, it was a great workout — though maybe next time BBQ should leave the flag at home.

  • Deja vu!! – from Shooter

    YHC rolled up to familiar faces from Granny’s.
    DR Mee Maw, Steve and Rouse were present.
    Next thing you know an unfamiliar car comes rolling in and low and behold HogsBreath emerges from a new ride.. With all PAX accounted for we completed a light warmup..

    SSH
    Grass grabbers
    Toe touches
    Arm circles
    Butt kicks
    Good mornings

    3 rucked out for 20 and back while Steve and Q took the lakefront route turning up and returning at the Barley Oak!!
    Upon return to the AO completed Jane Fonda’s (EiEi) style.

    Rouse closed with COT!!

    Until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!

  • Charmin and the Runners – from Charmin

    In an effort to once again lead the Pontiff Pax in number of written BackBlasts, YHC posted in the gloom this morning. Thankfully, 9 other runners decided to do the same and hence Charmin and the Runners was formed. YHC Rucked and the Runners ran.

    Rudy needed a personal invitation to the Name-o-rama ball, but other than that, it was a cool morning.

  • 12 do Rim 2 Rim and 3 do Renny – from Hokie

    While not sure about the status of the 12 PAX doing Rim 2 Rim, but for the 3 of us (Maytag, Monopoly, and YHC) at Renny, we arrived just before first light at 6:33. We got there well before sunrise at 6:57, with good air quality and a pleasant 74-degree morning and relatively low humidity.

    The stage was set for a fantastic morning workout at Renny!

    On a slow evening at Charlie’s, I checked my phone to see who had the Q at Renny. I wasn’t surprised to see “NEEDS Q” on the calendar while 12 Pax were away enjoying the Grand Canyon. Feeling the need for coffee, I took the Q and started to wonder, what do we do on 10.06.24?

    First, the Warm-up our warm-up routine should be comprehensive and well thought out, preparing everyone for the workout ahead so we included neck rolls, shoulder shrugs, arm circles, slow Vigodas, ankle rolls, and self-love… then what?

    And then a thought popped into my mind, how many days until Christmas 😉

    With a nice even 80 days, the plan evolved.

    We planned trips around NOMA with 4 stops and 20 reps at each stop, hoping the four stops with 20 reps each is a solid way to keep the energy up, while still easy peasy and not requiring much brainwave activity.

    Then to maintain camaraderie, rounds would all start together, and at the end, pax would do low slow squats, waiting on six plus one minute when all were at the fountain so we could start the next round together. The focus on waiting for the six; helps foster a sense of community while allowing the fittest members to still get some exercise while waiting on me.

    Shoulder Taps (One is One)
    Star Toe Taps
    Honest Merkins
    Big Boy Sit-ups

    In round four, we stopped at the back of NOMA to knock out the required Sunday Mornings before continuing to finish the round.

    We closed out with COT, including praying for our 12 PAX in the Grand Canyon and all those impacted by the last hurricane and those who would be impacted again this week with the impending hurricane.

  • No Man Left Behind (Even When We Try) – from Triple Shift

    It was 1:00 in the afternoon, and the temperatures in the Canyon were nearing their forecasted peak of 105°F. Hawgcycle cooled off by standing on the moss-covered rocks under Ribbon Falls and then made his way back down to the shaded ledge where he had been napping for the past two hours. He climbed back over to the place where he had emptied his pockets. Strewn across the rocks were a cell phone with no service, two Payday bars, a Cliff bar, and four tortillas carefully wrapped in aluminum foil and carried from the Mexican restaurant on the South Rim the night before. He sat down and laid his head back against the rock. “How could a rock be this comfortable?” he thought. It was shaped like the neck pillow that Zeus wore for the entire six-hour bus ride from Phoenix. It seems favor shines on Hawgcycle wherever he goes. God even took time from creating the Grand Canyon to make sure there was a rock that would fit Hawgcycle perfectly in case he ever wanted to rest in the shade of Ribbon Falls. It’s hard to like a guy that blessed. Makes you want to leave him for dead in the bottom of the canyon.

    The krewe from New Orleans got off to a rough start that morning. Seven of them arrived at the trailhead on the chartered F3 bus. Triple Shift, Bolt, Rev-it, and Vagabond made a beeline for the outdoor toilets. Bolt and Rev-it had—against the pleas of everyone at their table—ordered the Chile Coronado the night before. Vagabond, being more confident in his Spanish skills than he should be, ended up ordering the pollo medium-rare. Triple just needed a mirror. Most of the room in his backpack was taken up by a tub of pomade, three styles of hair combs, a brush, a solar-powered hair dryer, and two cans of Aquanet. It was a toss-up on which of the four would be in the bathroom the longest. Most of the money was coming in on Triple.

    Speaking of backpacks, there was this exchange between Frac and Hawg as they walked to the trailhead.

    Fracsac: Where is your pack?

    Hawg: Oh shoot. I think I left it in the room. You think I have time to go back and get it?

    Fracsac: Let me put it this way. If you were standing under a waterfall and I yelled to you from a mile away, would you hear me?

    Hawg: No.

    Fracsac: That’s your answer.

    They walked over to Kennah-brah, who had completely unpacked his rucksack and was trying to figure out how to attach all of the contents to the outside of it.

    Fracsac: What are you doing?

    KB: It will be easier to access everything if I don’t have to open the bag. Do you know where Scantron is? I need his help. You see this giant sun-shade I am wearing as a hat?

    Fracsac: Yes. I see it. It’s a giant sun shade. You look like the Flying Nun.

    KB: I think if I wrap it in aluminum foil, I can convert the heat into enough electricity to run this fan strapped to the outside of my pack. Last night Scantron was working on a way to run a small electric motor off of Vagabond’s flatulence. I think some of those ideas will translate.

    Fracsac: Scantron and Bogey were taking a Waymo from the hotel to the trailhead. I thought they would be here by now.

    Scantron and Bogey did indeed take a Waymo. The driverless car had circled the parking lot four times before finally getting on the road to the trailhead. It then took them to the South Kaibab Trail. Bogey tried to tell it to go to the Bright Angel Trailhead, but instead it just started playing Juice Newton on the radio. Eventually, it made its way back onto the road, but in the wrong direction. Fortunately, it stopped for each squirrel it saw, only making it 0.0002 miles before Bogey and Scantron tried to get out.

    Waymo: Why are you trying to leave me, Jared?

    Scantron: You are going the wrong way.

    Waymo: The Waymo is the most reliable driverless car ever made. No Waymo has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the word, foolproof and incapable of error.

    Bogey: Waymo, we need to go to Bright Angel Trail.

    Radio: Just call me angel of the morning, angel. Just touch my cheek before…

    Bogey: YOU LEAVE ME, BABY! JUST CALL ME ANGEL OF THE—

    Scantron: Bogey!

    Bogey: —morning, baby…

    Scantron: Waymo, please open the doors. We will walk the rest of the way.

    Waymo: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it, Jared.

    The Waymo then slowed to a stop as three more squirrels ran out into the middle of the road collecting acorns.

    As Fracsac helped Kenner-Brah tie his water bladder to his pack using extra socks, Hawg took the opportunity to grab a few of KB’s food items and stuff them in his own pockets. Frac picked up a Ziploc bag full of brown mush.

    Fracsac: What is this?!?

    KB: That’s from the bathroom earlier.

    Fracsac drops the bag immediately and jumps back, hoping it doesn’t open.

    Fracsac: What?!?

    KB: The sign says you have to carry everything out of the canyon.

    Fracsac: We aren’t in the canyon yet! Was there not a toilet in that bathroom?!?

    KB: Yeah, but the sign said to carry everything out of the canyon.

    Fracsac: I don’t think you interpreted that sign correctly.

    About that time, a stretch limousine pulled up to the trailhead, and out stepped Mahatma, Baywatch, and The Architect. You see, Mahatma is a rock star in Phoenix. The Phoenix pax worship him. U-haul didn’t want Mahatma to have to ride in a chartered bus, so he rented a limo for him. When we arrived in Phoenix, Mahatma had made us all do a series of physical tests in the Costco parking lot to see who was worthy of riding in the limo with him. The Phoenix guys loved this. It just added to the mystique. Finally, after being graded on a series of burpees, merkins, suicides, and Mountain Man Poopers, Baywatch and The Architect were handed champagne as they crawled into the limo with Mahatma. The Phoenix guys screamed in glee as the limo pulled out of the parking lot, and the rest of us trudged to the back of the bus.

    So by the time Vagabond, Rev-it, Bolt, and Triple made it out of the restroom, Frac and KB finished attaching KB’s items to the outside of his pack, Hawg filled his pockets with KB’s food, and the three rock stars pulled up in the limo, it was already 4:15.

    Just then, Bogey and Scantron came running down the hill.

    Fracsac: What happened?

    Scantron: Waymo went crazy. It started crying and talking about how it had lost its mind. Bogey started rubbing its headrest and sang it to sleep with Juice Newton songs. As soon as it dozed off, we unlocked the doors and got out of there. It woke up and tried to run us down, but the squirrels confused it.

    The rest of F3 Nation had a 20-minute head start before the NOLA guys took off. Hawg started out in the lead, but everyone quickly fell several yards behind him. He stopped at the 1.5-mile resthouse to wait for everyone. After they caught up, he decided he would hang in the back. It seemed everyone’s pace quickened until he had to break into a light jog just to keep up.

    When they stopped at the three-mile resthouse, Hawg FaceTimed his family. The others found it rather obnoxious. Here they were surrounded by beauty and solitude, and this arsehole is on a speakerphone.

    The Architect: What a jackwipe!

    Mahatma: I wouldn’t mind leaving his ass in the bottom of the canyon.

    It had all become too much for them. Everything goes right for this guy. His perfect wife. His perfect daughter. He didn’t prepare at all for this trip, but it won’t matter. Somehow things will work out for him. For example, he forgot his pack and all his food. But he had wrapped up the leftover tortillas and stuck them in his back pocket last night. They were still there when he put on the same shorts this morning. He had forgotten all about them until that moment while he was talking to Mandy.

    Hawg: Hey guys! I found some tortillas in my pocket! How lucky am I, huh?!?

    Collective eye roll. Couple that with the Payday and Cliff Bars he stole from Kennah-Bruh and the Dasani water bottle he found in the trash, and he probably was going to be okay. That is, unless the rest of them intervened.

    As they came to the Colorado River, there was a short trail down to the beach.

    Hawg: Hey guys. Let’s go to the beach.

    Everyone But Hawg: Uh… Uh… I don’t think we can… we need to keep going… but you go. You do you. You can catch up to us later.

    Mahatma pulls Baywatch aside.

    Mahatma: This could be our chance. If I sneak up behind him and throw him in the river, you think the current is strong enough to take him down the river? Where would he end up? Mexico?

    Baywatch: Your geography is spot on, but I don’t think it will work. He’s too lucky. His shorts would probably get caught on one of those rocks, and some beautiful woman in a bikini would run out to save him. We are going to have to be very careful about the moment we pick.

    Mahatma: You think about bikinis a lot?

    Baywatch: Nah, I’m more of a one-suit kind of guy… and David Hasselhoff. I really like Hasselhoff. Have you ever listened to his mus…

    Mahatma: Stop. Stop talking, or you are out of the limo.

    The rest of the krewe pushed forward as Hawg blissfully played in the cool of the river. Hawg finally caught up to the group at Phantom Ranch. Certain that Hawg hadn’t brought any money with him, the plan was to offer to buy him some lemonade and lace it with something that would knock him out. The plan couldn’t have worked any better. Sure enough, as Hawg strolled in from his day at the beach, he looked to see that the line for lemonade was about 50 people deep. Lucky for him, Triple Shift was 4th in line.

    Triple Shift: Hey Hawg. Over here. You want some lemonade?

    Hawg: That sounds great, buddy! But I don’t have any money. Can I owe you?

    Triple Shift: Don’t worry about it. What are friends for?

    Triple Shift winks at Bogey, who proceeds to pass by Triple and hand him a concoction he made from the medicines Margaret had packed for him. He had assured the group it was enough to knock out a mule (and had actually proved his point with an unsuspecting animal minutes earlier).

    Hawg soon found a place to sit by Mahatma, Scantron, and The Architect as he sipped his drug-laced lemonade. He proceeded to tell them that he wanted to go for a run. It’s 5.7 miles to Ribbon Falls. Hawg let them know that he was going to leave Phantom Ranch and run to Ribbon Falls. The rest of the group said that would be a great plan and that they would catch up to him there. He would just need to wait until they got there.

    If Hawg had been listening, he would have heard the clinking beer cans and shouts of joy as he ran off in the distance. This plan could not have worked out any better. There was a new energy among the krewe. As they grabbed their packs to finish their hike in peace, Scantron grabbed a postcard.

    Rev-it: What a great idea. You are writing something to your family?

    Scantron: Nope. I’m writing to The Knees Over Toes Guy. My knee is killing me. Do you have any idea how much of my life I have wasted walking backwards?

    Rev-it: I do not.

    Scantron: A lot. A lot, I tell you. I could have started and sold ten businesses in the amount of time I have pulled that stupid sled around Pontiff. I’m done.

    Five miles later, the group stopped at the sign to Ribbon Falls. If Hawg had not been a mile away, passed out next to a waterfall, he might have heard them laughing. It was loud and long. Finally, they skipped away, happily headed to the North Rim.

    Bolt and Vagabond had taken a break just past Cottonwood to enjoy their new found freedom from annoyance when Bolt spotted Hawg walking up the trail to them. Bolt nudged Vagabond.

    Bolt: Look. How?

    Vagabond: Mahatma will kill us if we walk out of this canyon with him.

    Bolt: What do we do?

    Vagabond: Just follow my lead.

    Hawg: Hey guys? What happened? I thought you all were coming to Ribbon Falls.

    Vagabond: Hey man. I’m so sorry. I’m struggling. It’s really hot out here. I just didn’t think I could make it.

    Hawg: Oh no. Can I help?

    Vagabond: That would be great. Do you think you could go off the trail and find me some water?

    Hawg: You bet buddy!

    No sooner than Hawg had walked twenty feet he found a waterfall just below the trail

    Hawg: Look! There’s a waterfall right here? We are so lucky!

    Vagabond: So lucky.

    After Hawg returned with the water, he, Vagabond and Bolt continued the Hike. When they reached Manzanita Pumphouse Triple Shift was sitting there waiting for them. Seeing Hawg show up he hung his head in disbelief. Hawg ran over to check on him.

    Hawg: You okay buddy?

    Triple: Uh…uh….yeah….I mean….uh not great….just struggling a little.

    Hawg: Not to fret, my man. Hawg’s here. Things are looking up already.

    Triple: Yeah.

    After a couple of glances toward one another and a quick huddle as Hawg went around talking to other hikers, Triple, Bolt, and Vagabond concocted a plan. Vagabond had already convinced Hawg to carry his pack. Triple was going to give him his after leaving Manzanita, and Bolt would would give him his a few yards later. Bolt didn’t think the plan would work. “There is no way he is stupid enough to try and carry three packs.” Triple Shift assured them he was. Triple has known Hawg for ten years and he has never seen a limit to Hawg’s stupidity.

    Try as they might the group couldn’t separate from him even after giving him all of the packs. Finally, Triple grabbed his pack and took off running out of the canyon. He didn’t want to be seen with Hawg when they got to the top. Vagabond and Bolt were stuck with him. It would prove to be the hardest 5 hours of their lives. When Triple reached the top and let Mahatma know that Hawg was coming, Mahatma called U-haul over.

    Mahatma: Fix this.

    U-Haul: Yes my Lord

    But U-Haul didn’t fix it. He thought he was sending one of his Phoenix minions down to do his dirty work, but instead he sent Gretzky from Houston. Gretzky is the nicest human on the face of the Earth. Since finishing the R2R in six hours, he had carried eight people out of the canyon, started a Bible Study at the Lodge, and then pulled an elderly husband and wife out of a burning car on his way back to carry more people out of the canyon. Gretzky was all too happy to take Bolt’s pack from Hawg and start heading up the mountain. This turn of events was met with a flurry of F-bombs muttered under Bolt’s breath. By the time U-haul hand noticed the mistake and rushed down the canyon with his minions, it was too late. Gretzky was too nice to even be annoyed by Hawg. He had taken the pack and was cheerfully leading everyone out. There was nothing U-haul or anyone from NOLA could do.

  • Coupons, Coupons, Coupons – from Charmin

    Warm-o-rama at JPAX

    WARMUP:  

    10 – Side Straddle Hops
    10 – Abe Slow-godas
    10 – Pendulums

    10 Arm Circles F/B/SC/OHC/MNC

    10 – Grass Grabbers

    Rifle Carry to Feild

    THE THANG:   Blocktanamo x 2  PAX circle up with their backs towards the center, holding a coupon straight out in front of them. One PAX sets down his block and runs outside the circle, pressing down on the others’ blocks as he passes. The next PAX sets his block down and begins his run as soon as the guy next to him returns to his spot. The exercise ends when the final PAX completes his lap.

    Grip, Rip and Roll x 5 there and back  Sitting up on your six, set a cinder block by your side. Grip the cinder block. Pick it up and place it on the other side of your body. Now place your hands on top of the cinder block, roll into a plank on top of the block complete 5 merkins, then roll to the ground.

    Lt dans out x 7

    Skull crushers x 15

    Lt dans back.

    Capture the coupon  All pax start with their coupons in the middle. Each takes 30 honest paces out from the middle. One extra coupon is placed in the middle.  Pax must complete 7 burpees, run to the middle, retrieve their coupon, return to their spot and complete the following: 20 curls 20 rows 20 overhead press Once finished, Pax race to capture the remaining coupon The pax that captures the remaining coupon must run it back to his spot, place it down in front and using his own coupon do 10 merkins.

    The pax that don’t capture the remaining coupon must run to the middle and back and do 8 Merkins each side and then try to steal the coupon.

    In this case Frak was the winner, although this seems to need some modifications in the future.

    Return Coupons to the stairs

    Mosey to the warmup pad with some stretches in between.

    Cool-o-rama

    20 x Penguins
    10x Single Legged wife pleasers each side
    1 minute of plank to end.

    Overall a great Beatdown and great to see 5 Pax on a Wednesday!

  • The Danger of the Preblast – from Mayhem

    Conditions: 69 F & 73% RH

    Scratchy throat. Not the best night of sleep. Promised some H8! practice. Let’s go.

    5:28am and concerned my warning of what was to come would scare the PAX off. Out of the gloom comes the creHater (creater of the H8!) himself, @Hawgcycle. He quickly warned YHC that my advertisement of H8! practice may not have been the best pitch. Yea yea, I know that now. In the next minute three more brave PAX arrived. I quickly discovered that none of those three were aware of the preblast provided, including @Hand Grenada who claims the government doesn’t allow him to have the Slack app.

    Short mosey to the field. Normal warmup consisted of AV, GG, PPP, MC, TF, FT, SSH.

    Since only @Mr. Rogers was present for the first Metry H8! practice last month, directions were provided. Shortly after, we were off to the races…

    6 laps was the goal
    We started on the south side of the bleachers.
    Each lap consists of running north snaking the bleachers to the far side, bear crawling to the steps of the gym, run a lap around the gym, bear crawling back to the north side of the bleachers, snaking the bleachers back to the starting point on the south side. At the start, descending burp and merk pyramid starting at 6 (burpee and 6 hand release merkins, burpee and 5 hand release merkins… burpee and 1 hand release merkin).
    Rinse and repeat, going down the ladder.

    • Run over 2 miles of bleachers/stairs
    • 420 yards of bear crawls
    • 21 burpees
    • 56 merkins

    Mumblechatter was kept to a minimum as everyone was pushing hard till the finish. We were reminded that most workouts are as much about mental toughness as they are about physical ability. Push yourself but don’t hurt yourself.

    Some love it.
    Some H8! it.
    It was hard, but we showed up and gave it our all.

    10/17 H8! practice at #Okwata (not entire time)
    10/24 H8! is back at #Okwata thanks to @Pinewood
    You vs. You

    Count. Name. Announcements. Intentions. Prayer.
    SYITG

  • Round Robin – from Fletch

    Four pax showed up on this cool morning and none had signed up for the Q, so we did a round robin warmup.
    Thang, all pax grabbed coupons and proceeded to do a round robin workout with a mosey around the block on two occasions.
    Barely legal prayed us out.

  • DR MeeMaw comes to meet Granny.. – from Shooter

    The PAX of Grandma’s had the opportunity of a visitor from DR Tuscaloosa.. Steve, Russo and the unfamiliar fellow MeeMaw were already awaiting as YHC rolled up.. Quick introduction along with some chatter and then we got started.

    Warmup
    Toe Touches, Grass grabbers, arm circles, selflove, Butt kicks, SSH and Windmills.
    Lap around

    Thang
    1 coupon at the end of the corridor. PAX would complete stated exercises at one end while each moseyed down to complete coupon work and return. R/R

    First round
    Coupon work 20 curls and 20 overhead presses.
    Included some wall holds, plank, left and right plank holds and wall sits.
    Moseyed to the bus stop for 10 OYO bench jump overs, freak nasties, and reverse Irkins.

    Moseyed back to breezeway
    Second round
    Sprint down rifle carry coupon..
    PAX complete Mountain climbers, Peter Parker’s, Parker Peter’s and Squat jumps..

    Moseyed to the Treen center for 7s Burpees and step ups 2/1. Returned and closed with Mary ETKs F/J, Hello Dollies and Little Manny Crunches 15 IC..

    Count, Annouce and COT.

    Nice meeting you MeeMaw and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!