Under a full moon in wx to die for the combined pax of A1c and The Splash Pad came to get her to help YHC celebrate surviving and thriving with an All out workout for my 75th birthday. It was a pleasure be able to Q a wo that got some sweat out of some of the most season of us. A full body warmup with 75 reps of SSH Grass grabbers windmills high knees torso twist hi jill hi jack etc preceded the Thang. A mossey to the top of the garage ramp and a first of five sets of 15 dips With a run to the bottom of the ramp for the second set of 15 and back to the top for the third set you get the pix. For a total of 75 reps . Rinse and repeat with leg lifts, crunches, wife pleasers something else something else. Mix up the 25 or so runs up and down the ramps with backpeddles karaoke lunges etc and a good solid All Out workout that 8 years ago would have killed yours truly. But with the support and encouragement of my F3 buddies Thai old man that would have been headed for the home is now able handle all with grace. Thanks to you all.
Blog
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4-Mile Mayhem – from Shooter
This is nowhere near as epic as the previous one, but we did our best with less time. I hope you all enjoy:
The sun had barely risen when Shooter, smelling faintly of gunpowder and deer pee, rallied the troops for a 4-mile run through the suburban wilderness. Clad in camo shorts and suspicious confidence, he declared, “If we see a squirrel, it’s dinner.”
Waterpik, always fresh from a fluoride rinse and reeking of peppermint, warned everyone to floss or die. He spent most of the run critiquing everyone’s gum health between wheezes.
Bushwacker tried to take a shortcut through some hedges, screaming “I’m one with the landscape!” before tripping over a sprinkler head and performing a full scissor-kick dismount into someone’s rosebush. Nature: 1, Bushwacker: bloodied. It’s not the first time we has scissoring during a beatdown in Mandeville
Hammer, the group’s legal eagle, spent the entire run drafting a class-action lawsuit against cardio. He cited mental anguish, chafing, and unsolicited motivational phrases as grounds for litigation. He began quoting 80s legal dramas, which most of us could not recall. We simply pleaded the 5th.
Ballz Deep, who insists tennis counts as both cardio and therapy, ran in short shorts and a headband, aggressively grunting with every step like he was serving at Wimbledon. People stared. Children cried. He never broke pace.
Then came Jose10k, part educator, part miracle worker, and fully out of place among this testosterone-fueled chaos. He delivered inspirational quotes mid-stride and tried to turn the run into a teachable moment. Unfortunately, nobody passed his pop quiz on “Proper Pacing and You.” So he decided to Ruck. He was going to quote Dangerous Minds while listening to Coolio, just to change up his play list to appease Cowbell.
They finished the 4 miles sweaty, slightly broken, and somehow closer than ever. No records were broken, but egos certainly were. One thing’s for sure: adult fitness looks less like a Nike ad and more like a comedy sketch filmed in slow motion.
Same time next week? God help us.
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BOMBS & POMS – from Kilo
A little stolen BD this morning from the PAX in JAX
0530: disclaimer given
0531: mosey started to the W-O-R
SSH, TIE Fighters forward and reverse, HB, and IW, finish with the Vagabond SunriseMosey to the parking lot, quite a bit of grumbles about the amount of moseying down already… partner up and on to the THANG
BOMBS – burpees, overhead claps (in a deep squat), merkins, big boys, and squats: 50, 100, 150, 200, 250
Pax take turns running to the light pole that was illuminated with a plane directly over it and back. Some chasing and sprinting was done so as to keep up the spirits.POMS – plank, reverse plank (aka Overhand Plank), merkins, squat hold all for 20 count by the resting Pax
Mosey back to the W-O-R spot for some broga and MC’s sprinkled in
COT: gratitude for all that the Sky Q has done for us this week and for a successful Leg Quarter Cook-off tomorrow
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Gotcha – from Hawgcycle
Warm-up: SSH, IW, GG, Merkins, Bobby Hurly
On the line: open the gate, close the gate, high knees, butt kicks, scoopsMosey to Gym:
Gotcha – 1 line at the 3 point line. First two pax have a ball. Pax 1 shoots a 3. If he doesn’t make it he gets his own rebound and tries to score before pax 2 scores. If he doesn’t he’s out. Continue until one man left. There was a way to buy back in.
Buy-in #1 – 30 Abe Lincolns, 60 Monkey Humpers, 90 Big Bois
As predicted by Mayhem, the buy in was too steep. Although a couple of us came close.
The Architect won the first game and pretended to do squats while the losers finished up.
We reduced the buy-in for game two. Fast Tax and YHC got back in to be quickly dismissed once again.
Buy-in #2 – 20 Big Bois, 40 Monkey Humpers, 60 Abe Lincolns
I assume The Architect won again. It was him and Mayhem at the end, but I was too busy to pay attention.
We took a break from basketball to do some
wall work – BTW. Chicken Peckers, BTW, Pecker Chickens, BTW, Pecker MayhemWe then divided up into 3 teams of 3. Teams 1 and 2 play a game of 3 on 3 sudden death wile Team 3 does 10 merkins, 10 Bobby Hurleys, 10 Big Bois, in perpetuity. The losing team swaps with the team doing exercises.
We made it through three games and headed back to the flag
NMM
* There are two kinds of people in the world. Those that enjoy having fun occasionally and Mr. Rogers
* Speaking of everyone’s favorite neighbor, I did Q a workout that made him remove the weight vest. That feels almost as good as making an FNG puke. I consider it a badge of honor.
* My shot was off. Must have been the wind
* At first I was skeptical of Mahyems 10-count hip-slap, shoulder-tap merkin. I’m now fully on board having developed what I have now decided to call the Pecker Mayhem. This will prove to be the pinnacle of Mayhemdom -
Elevens at The Gipper – from Einstein
Nice and cool at The Gipper this morning ~ 45 degrees & low humidity
WARMUP: windmills, toe touch, side straddle hops, shoulder rolls, hi-jack hi-jills,
snap crackle pops, book covers, side to side lunges, backward lounges, etc.THANG:
Mosey to the Justice Center Courthouse
Set of Elevens; 10 burpees to start, run up the steps, 1 merkin at the top,
run down and around to starting point, and descend/ascend.Mary: none, no time left
T-Claps to Moby (74.99452054794520547945205479452055 y.o.) for doing a good job on the running.
Barely Legal prayed us out with intentions for his Mom and for Fletch’s Mom
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Workout Review: Grandmas House, The Marsh of Madness Rated R for Ridiculousness, Regret, and Rampant Burpee Abuse. An movie inspired back blast for a resident film editor: Steve – from Steve
This morning’s workout was led by none other than Steve, a man with the calm demeanor of a yoga instructor and the workout intensity of a caffeinated Navy SEAL. Spirits were high, the weather was decent, and then—it happened. Frank opened his mouth.
STARRINGSteve as The Relentless Commander
Fitness guru? Torture artist? Hard to say. Wears a watch that doesn’t tell time—it tells reps.Frank as The Unfiltered Oracle. He was the reason we couldn’t keep cadence
Speaks only in political hot takes May or may not be sponsored by FoxNews.Shooter as The Deer Whisperer
Disappears in the woods, can camp out with just a tarp and a stick. If the emp hits us, the only one of us who could survive because he know how to purify his own urine.Russo as The Conspiracy Theorist
Chem trails, JFK assassination, Bigfoot, he knows all of the worlds secrets. Keeps a personal vendetta against half-reps.Jose10k as The Distance Demon
Runs 10K before the workout just to feel warm. Laughs at burpees because he rely does them. Rumored to have an actual sponsorship from Advil.What followed was less a fitness session and more a live taping of a political stand-up special. The laughter was so violent, we couldn’t keep cadence or count. Hell, at one point I think someone tried to do a jumping jack and just fell over laughing. It was chaos. Steve tried to restore order like a desperate substitute teacher, but the image of Frank talking politics and Trump had the floor—and the filibuster.
Eventually, we moseyed to the marsh, where Steve unveiled his twisted plan. Every stop sign became a mini-Hell: 5 Kraken burpees , 10 Sister Mary Catherines 10 and gas pumps
Now Steve claimed it was “only 5 Kraken burpees,” but time warped. I aged. I saw my ancestors. I met a raccoon who offered me a cigarette and said, “You don’t wanna go back in there.”Sadly (or perhaps wisely), I had to leave early. But here’s how I imagine it played out after my escape:
Final Act: “Marshageddon”
Steve, shirtless and shimmering with sweat like a demigod forged in pre-workout, leads the group deeper into the foggy marsh. Frank, in spirit form, still monologuing about the federal reserve, is doing bear crawls backward while reciting Reagan speeches.
Suddenly, Steve bellows, “MERMAN DRILLS!” Everyone dives into a stagnant puddle. Two men don’t resurface. Gas pumps evolve into explosive gas pump combos. Sister Mary descends from the heavens with a kettlebell and blesses the pain.
The final challenge? Shooter pulling his Fit out of the marsh using only resistance bands and pure arm strength.
They return to the parking lot mud-soaked, spiritually broken, and somehow stronger. No one speaks. They simply nod, silently agreeing to never speak of this morning again.
10/10.
Would recommend to people I hate.
Bring a towel, a therapist, and maybe a priest.After COT, there is a post credit scene.
[POST-CREDITS SCENE: “Marsh of Madness” – The Swamp Strikes Again]Fade in: eerie silence. Fog hangs low over the marsh. A single stop sign stands crooked, half-submerged in murky water.
[Camera pans slowly…]
A lone figure appears in the distance… it’s Frank, shirtless, wearing compression shorts and Crocs. He’s holding a whiteboard and a megaphone.
Frank (yelling into the void):
“Let’s talk about the real reason burpees were invented—government control!”The marsh ripples. Something stirs beneath the surface.
[Suddenly, bubbles rise… a Kraken tentacle shoots up, slapping the whiteboard out of his hands.]
Frank (unfazed):
“Oh, you’ve been listening to the mainstream media workout plans, haven’t you?” -
Brick Fest – from Rudy
Weather: muggy, but fortunately a break between lines of rain. Contrary to Ballast’s prediction, we had a dry workout.
My first Renny Q. YHC is usually tucked away in bed at this time on Sunday am. But with M out of town, I decided to meet the group, and pick up my Renny VQ. And what better way to do it than with one of my favorite workouts – a Brick Fest.
7 PAX were there to watch Frac struggle mightily to park his truck. On the circle. With no other cards within hundreds of feet. Back and forth he went, valiantly trying to figure out how to get close. Then it appeared frustration got the best of him, so he just abandoned the truck and made it to the workout. So 8 PAX went to face the bacon and start a warmup. Then the 9th PAX showed up on typical Triple time.
Thing 1: Off to the Mini, all PAX grab a pair of bricks. Partner up for Dora: 100 Merkins, 200 Floyd Mayweathers, 300 Dying Cockroaches. Heisenberg earned a quick 5 burpee penalty for everyone by asking “Are we supposed to use the bricks for Floyd Mayweathers?”. The timer is a run around the bacon (yes, with bricks) stopping for 1 Mayhem Merkin.
Thing 2: Don’t have time for 11s, so we’ll do 7s. On top of the steps – Brickpees, starting at 6 and counting down. At the fountain, Newtons, starting at 1 and counting up. A newton is like a Floyd Mayweather (sorta), but side-to-side. Shorty of old returned, as he griped and groused about the unfairness of having long arms.
Thing 3: Around to the back of the museum, and take a seat in the People’s Chair. And stay in the chair. Wonder Bra (yes, with bricks). Out and Up, in cadence. x20, then x16, x12, x8 and finally x4. Then (and only then) could we stand up from our comfy chair.
Final Thing: Sunday Mornings x3. Then return to the flag where we could all finally put down the bricks.
For the Renny-Regulars, thanks for letting me Q!
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– from Architect
Chilly, Wet, and Windy….Gloomy.
YHC had plans but still needed to get creative to fill the time.
Disclaimer given, although not entirely accurate.
Reverse mosey to bleachers, warm-ups, followed by bleacher runs over to playground.
Tha Thang: Planks and pull ups, 5, 4, 3, 2,1
Mosey’d to rock pile, YHC encourage larger rocks, some were still hesitant to see what they could do.
10 rows, 10 squats, carry rock 50 yards. Jog back the 50 yds, 10 merkins, job back to rock.
Repeat above but reducing reps by one each round.
Quick Mary, back to Flag for COT.
Prayers for @Chips.
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– from Architect
Chilly, Wet, and Windy….Gloomy.
YHC had plans but still needed to get creative to fill the time.
Disclaimer given, although not entirely accurate.
Reverse mosey to bleachers, warm-ups, followed by bleacher runs over to playground.
Tha Thang: Planks and pull ups, 5, 4, 3, 2,1
Mosey’d to rock pile, YHC encourage larger rocks, some were still hesitant to see what they could do.
10 rows, 10 squats, carry rock 50 yards. Jog back the 50 yds, 10 merkins, job back to rock.
Repeat above but reducing reps by one each round.
Quick Mary, back to Flag for COT.
Prayers for @Chips.
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Well, that was unexpected!! – from Shooter
With Bushwacker calling out YHC a few days prior, the anxiety of what to bring and complete ranged in scope. Shall I have the PAX complete the normal routine, perhaps a follow the leader or maybe just make it up as we go. The latter prevailed and with the help of a cylinder block, ruck plate and the golden dice we made the best of it..
Brief warmup 10-15 IC Imperial walkers, Cherry Pickers, Torso twists, good mornings, Hillbillies and SSH. Loop around the block.Thang
Stations R1
Bear crawl
Squat thrusters
Kettle swings
Burpee broad jumps
Lunges
Once all PAX through the round, moseyed loop.
R2
Overhead press
Curls
Carioca
Bunny hops
Crawl Bear
Loop around adding 10Merkins at each corner.
R3
Big boys with block
American hammers with plate
Backward suicides
25% half court 50% full courtFinished with count, announce of Mobys 75th birthday Q Friday at A1c, Trucoats 50th on Sunday and F2 Extravaganza on May 10th hosted by Barely Legal..
Hoping all received their moneys worth and until the next Gloom 👍🏼👊🏼✌🏼!!!
