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  • Railroaded – from Goose

    YHC was admittedly excited about the idea for this beatdown. It came much earlier than the usual 10pm the night before, and YHC even hyped it two days early hoping to stir some interest. However, with crickets on the GroupMe and excuses flying like flatulence at the Lion’s Den, it looked like there may be no one to enjoy such a highly anticipated feast of chance, strategy, teamwork, and train tracks. But, a strong representation of the PAX (even Dox, who had to leave early to get to clinics) charitably made their way to the Peltch this morning worked up enough interest to make it all feel worthwhile.

    Enough of the pleasantries, this beatdown was a cutthroat competition for European dominance via railway, and it went something like this:

    YHC: Alright, 6:30, let’s get warmed up.

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    (…this leads to all but Valve discussing said movie, which left YHC and Valve the only ones doing any counting. Some definite foreshadowing here…)

    (All mosey to the Thunderdome where the board game “Ticket to Ride is set up on a cinder block-carboard table)

    YHC: Ok, here are the rules. We’ll split up into three teams of three players each.

    (Counts off–teams are: 1. Dox, AB, YJ 2. Pope, White Meat, Duke 3. Valve, Maneater, YHC)

    YHC: Each team will pick a card, which has a route on it. You’ll need to place your colored train cars on the different colored tracks that will connect all the cities on your route to connect the start and end points in a non-stop chain of trains.

    Dox to AB: Ok, if we start with this one here in Zurich, we can connect to Venezia…

    YHC: Hey, listen to the instructions, you can strategize later.

    Dox: I can do both at the same time.

    YHC: Not so sure. …So, you can claim a track connecting two cities if you do the exercises and the reps that correspond to the color of the track and the number of train cars it indicates you need. So,…

    AB to Dox: I think we should make our way through Duetchland. Did you notice that I said “Deutchland”? That’s because I…

    YHC: You’re gonna want to pay attention to this. So, if a track has three red car spaces, you would look at this board and see that a red car space means 15 merkins, so each member of your team would need to do 45 merkins.

    YJ: (While AB and Dox are whispering and pointing to Amsterdam) Wait, what color are we?

    YHC: And, if there is an engine on a space, that means you need to run to the gate and back.

    Maneater: Nope

    YHC: And, if another team claimed a track you need, you can put one of your stations on the city it connects to and use that track, but a station is earned by your whole team bear crawling around the perimeter of the thunderdome.

    Dox to AB: …and if we cut through Budapest…

    YHC: Oh, and these spaces outlined in black are tunnels. That means the reps are doubled for those spaces. Here are the exercises and reps indicated by each color track/space on the board:

    -Red: 15 Merkins
    -Black: 10 Burpees
    -Blue: 15 Jump Squats
    -White: 15 Bonnie Blairs (2:1)
    -Green: 20 Big Boy Situps
    -Orange: 20 Crunchy Frogs
    -Pink: 20 Toe taps (plank, reach through and touch opposite toe, 2:1)
    -Yellow: Line jumps for 1 min, 20 second break between (two feet jump back and forth over a line)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    YHC: Once you’ve completed the route on the card, you can pick another route card, either a short one or a long one, but if you pick it, you’re committed to completing it. For the cards you complete, you get the number of points indicated on the card, but for the ones incompleted, you lose that number of points. You also will get points for each train car on the board, and the longer the track chosen between cities, the more points you get for it.

    AB to Dox: …we should definitely go through Essen. I have a lot of friends there…

    YHC: Any questions? Guys! I said, “Any questions?”

    YJ: Wait, what team am I on?

    YHC: Ok, begin!

    (YHC, Valve, and Maneater immediately start cranking out 60 crunchy frogs apiece, and White Meat, Pope, and Duke are doing what seems to be 10 minutes worth of big boys. Meanwhile, the blue team seems to have claimed three or four full tracks before anyone else gets back to the board.)

    Dox: Alright, now we just need these three and an engine to go up to Kobenhaven…

    Valve: No! Why in the world do you need Kobenhaven?? Goose! We gotta run!

    Maneater: Oh, God

    (Goose and Valve take off in an effort to beat AB, Dox, and YJ to the gate and back, but it doesn’t matter–somehow, they’ve already done the other exercise reps needed to claim that track, so YHC’s team is stuck with a perimeter bear crawl in order to place a station. I mena, you can’t get to Stockholm without going through Kobenhaven!)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    Dox: Alright, we’re done with this route, let’s pick another card.

    Pope: (as he finishes his 80th Bonnie Blair) Did he say “done with this route”?

    YHC (internally): I never want to do another crunchy frog for as long as I live.

    Valve to Maneater and YHC: Well, it looks like we could either do 60 burpees or 80 crunchy frogs to get to Pamplona.

    Maneater and YHC: Crunchy frogs it is.

    Pope: No! Blue claimed the track we needed again! I guess those Bonnie Blairs were wasted. Gotta do another perimeter craw.

    AB: We’re running out of blue train cars to put on the board. Let’s just start using the black ones.

    Dox to AB and YJ: Alright, we’ve done seventeen cards, and it’s 7:15, so I’ve got to go. You guys ought to be able to get another ten or twelve, huh?

    AB and YJ: You bet–we’ve got plenty of gas in the tank. This is fun!

    YHC to Valve: (panting heavily) I’m having trouble seeing straight–what color is that?

    Valve: It’s blue–they’re all over the board, like a stage 4 cancer

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

    AB to YJ: So, that’s 60 total big boys. How many have you done so far?

    YHC to AB: Wait, are you guys each doing all the reps, or are you splitting the total amongst your team?

    AB: Don’t worry, we’re splitting them up. We wouldn’t be so crazy as to each do all those reps. That would be ridiculous.

    YHC to White Meat and Pope: Are you guys splitting them up?

    Pope: No, we’re each doing the whole rep total.

    YHC to AB: Exactly! That’s what we’re all supposed to be doing!

    AB: Dox was confident that he heard it was a compilation. And now he’s on his way to work soothing his lemon truck woes with the smug confidence of an inevitable victory.

    Valve to YHC: Injustice happens. Looks like we’re bear crawling another lap.

    (AB and YJ honorably change their rep counts with 10 minutes left to match the actual rules somehow missed in the explanation, knowing that there will be some substantial point docking at the end. The other two teams keep on keeping on, all the while completely avoiding all black tracks. Seriously, not one burpee was done. It’s amazing what lengths we’ll go to to avoid burpees when given any other option.
    7:30 hit and points were tallied with the blue team graciously forfeiting 1/3 of their points. Counted off and three wearables were rewarded: Phil the Pain went to Pope, The Fire Within went to Valve, and Blue Tube went to YHC)

    YJ: (Prayer)

    White Meat: (somewhat obscure quote from early 90’s movie)

  • Venti Expands – from Sea Man

    The Venti is all things to all people! The Venti succeeds because it’s shorter beatdown that allows us more time to lift each other up with a coffee saunter back to the start!

    The Pre-Order – a 2.5 mile Ruck that launches at 5:15
    The Venti – Traditional 2.5 mile run to Star Bucks
    The Grande – Lengthened 3.5 mile run to Star Bucks (park to stables around Fly and on to Star Bucks)
    The Tall – Straight shot down St Charles to Adams and to Star Bucks
    The Esspresso – speed interval workout along the St Charles Neutral Ground

  • A Rocking BBQ – from Jose10k

    You know it’s going to be a good beatdown when BBQ comes rolling up with the windows down, music up, rocking out to classic Rock. That’s how we roll at the A1C. Other AOs don’t appreciate the music, some frown at the noise YHC brings with him (side eye to Zoolander), but the A1C embraces it. In fact, we incorporate it into each workout. And if you been paying attention to Hammer, Van Halen is the key to uniting the world. If you don’t believe me, reach out to him.
    Warm-up: The usual
    The Thang: Moseyed over to the courthouse for a descending ladder. 10 burpees, run to the benches, 10 freak nasties, run up the stairs for 10 copperhead squats, run around the courthouse. Repeat with 9 reps of each exercise. Back to the top for some Mary and COT.
    Turkey Trot is coming, Tyson vs Paul Fight tonight. Thanks for letting me lead, thanking for reading, thanks for rocking out with me. Zoolander, music is not our enemy. We can unite together under the flag of Van Halen.

  • BLOCKIES at THE GIPPER – from Einstein

    A bit muggy at The Gipper this morning ~ 72 degrees.

    WARMUP: all IC15x; toe touch, side staddle hops, arm circles, neck rolls, side to side stretch,
    hi-jack hi-jills, butt kicks, high knees, scissors, backward lunge, forward lunge, smurf jacks, etc.

    THANG: 3 sets of block work, mostly in cadence x15, separated by a run around the long block.

    SET 1: curls, overhead press, rows, side stretch lift left, side stretch lift right
    RUN

    SET 2: big boy sit-ups with block on chest, vertical press, wind shield wipers, push up onto block-push down alternating sides, merkins
    RUN

    SET 3: modified imperial walker with the block, block squat, farmer carry around the triangle right arm,
    farmer carry around the triangle left arm, rifle carry around the triangle,
    rifle carry to return the coupon blocks.

    time expires

    DARKWINGDUCK prayed us out.

  • Stretch, Run, and Whatever KB was Gettin’ Done – from Bolt

    YHC got a HC from Pillsbury the night before, making him a Kotter and thus, there was no backing out of the gloom this rainy morning. The S&M crew found the marathon preppers fast at work well before the disclaimer as we made our way to the pavilion with a guest appearance by KnOTS’ own Scantron. KB brought toys and flailed about as the S&M crew did their thing.
    We reassembled in the rain for COT; honored as always.

  • Bs and Cs – from Safety Valve

    After yesterday’s Merkin Mania Monday by Pope, YHC felt obligated to add some solid back, bicep, and core work today. Nothing special. Just a slightly different style than usual.

    Warmaramma
    SSH
    Imperial Walkers
    Willy mays hats
    Wind mills
    Arm circles – forward and backward
    Cherry pickers
    self love

    Thang
    Partner up – AB questioned the use of partners today. Sometimes we just need people by us when we are suffering AB. I’ll be sure to get with his M on how to answer this appropriately next time.

    Buy in for each person at the stage.
    50 LBCs
    50 Hello Dolly
    50 Freddie Mercury
    50 second one inch hold

    Mosey to yonder parking lot. Each team did two stations below:

    Four stations – sand bag at each
    Bent over low rows – 60lb x 15 reps
    Lawn mower rows, single arm -35lb x 15 reps
    Curls – 40lb x15 reps
    Curls – single arm, 18 lb 3 ways – 10 full, 10 bottom to half way, 10 half way to top.

    Mosey back to stage. By this time, Creed rocking in the background was bringing Goose back to a simpler time, while AB was crying on the inside and maybe the outside. To the parking lot and back to the stage was probably close to 1/4 mile. This was true if you didn’t cheat yourself and took the proper sidewalk route… IYKYK. We ended by picking up the 6 (team Goose and Enron – maybe they did an extra set, maybe not) and sprinting back to the flag.

    COT, Fire within was given to Suckle by Pope, prayers continue for Coyote, Lil Cuz prayed us out.

  • Veteran’s Day: 11/11 Must be 11s – from Bolt

    YHC fartsacked more than acceptable last week so seeing an empty Q sheet meant only one option—Q. The inscribed bat signal illuminated Slack and 4 pax headed the call, including a hobbled KB and a less and less rare Rev Sox return. Potable phone charger in hand at 5:29:57 and flag planted for the 5:30 disclaimer and mosey to warmup pad for Abe SLOWgodas, after which Charmin noted something was noticeably missing while silence was noticeably present—had enough of the 2.1a port fed the electronic overlord? “YES” was the answer—so JBL jumped to life with the requisite song to get us through the balance of the warmorama:
    R/L Tie Fighters x 10
    OH claps x 10
    Seal claps x 10
    MNC x 10
    Self Love x 10 (school Charmin on the nuanced difference from Michael Phelps)
    Open/close the gate x 5 of each/leg
    SSH x 20
    Mosey to JPAX for 11s on 11/11 which of course requires a playlist deviation (Sousa’s greatest hits)—and Frac missed it!

    The Thang:
    10 burpees
    Run up stairs
    1 box jump
    Run down ramp for –1/+1
    Circle 6 and recover

    Back to warmup pad for Mary, rotate circle with pax-called exercise for 1 minute each:
    Scuba/flutter kicks
    Freddie Mercs
    Single leg, straight leg wife pleaser
    Dealer’s choice plank with switch on Charmin’s timed call
    COT including Pledge of Allegiance
    Honored to lead, men.

  • Veteran’s Day Elevensies: by Pope – from Goose

    Sunday evening and YHC was minding his own business, ready for a regular Monday morning getup the next day when Goose asked if he wanted to Q tomorrow morning. YHC casually concurred, thinking “Valve tends to bring the heat with Monday Qs outlined on the way there; I should be okay.”
                      A few minutes later, Goose filled me in on two pieces of unfortunate news: (1) that he would be missing the beatdown on an account of an inconveniently timed colonoscopy/EDG appointment at Our Lady of the Lake Children’s Hospital for Coyote (he’s regained his activeness and high energy level; thank you on behalf of him, Goose and myself for all of your prayers!), and (2) that Monday was November 11, Veteran’s Day.
                      The last time YHC unknowingly signed up to Q on a holiday was on January 1 of this year; Goose was there to dump off to—not this time. He did, however, have a quick and easy (to devise) format: “How about you do eleven elevens?”  my reaction was the same as what I read on the faces of the numerous PAX that showed up: mixture of “Ooh…” and “Eh?”
                      Jogging to the Stage from the house after Goose left with Yote, YHC came within sight of the parking lot and noticed with a faint glimmer of hope that it was empty at 5:10… maybe everyone else held on to the justified opinion that a holiday workout—especially after Popeye’s CFT destruction on Saturday –was not worth the trade of a few extra hours of sleep. YHC’s hopes were dashed—ahem… assumption was proven wrong when Popeye pulled in as soon as the thought occurred to me, followed a few minutes later by Valve.
                      The format was simple: ten reps of eleven different exercises (done this morning up on the Stage) then one rep of another set of eleven different exercises (done after a half-lap around the track), followed by nine of set one’s exercises and two of set two, and so on in basic elevens format.
                      The exercises for each set were as follows:
     
                      Set 1 (descending):
    ·      American hammers
    ·      Merkins
    ·      Bobby hurleys
    ·      Big boy sit-ups
    ·      Freak nasties
    ·      Squats
    ·      V-ups
    ·      Kraken burpees (later modified to hand-release burpees)
    ·      Box jumps
    ·      LBCs
    ·      No-cheat merkins
     
     
                      Set 2 (ascending):
    ·      Freddy mercuries
    ·      Carolina dry docks
    ·      Bonny blairs
    ·      WWI sit-ups
    ·      Shoulder taps
    ·      Imperial walkers
    ·      Burpees
    ·      Derkins
    ·      Star jumps
    ·      Hello dollies
    ·      Inchworm merkins
                     
                      (Note: Valve promised to remove most of the chest workouts tomorrow, for those considering posting.)
                      In 40 minutes, the PAX completed every set until we got to 6 and 5 reps at the respective stations. Chatter was generally quiet, as is to be expected when the routine requires an annoying amount of rep counting and/or physical discomfort.
                      COT and Valve prayed us out.
                      The PAX kept up a decent pace throughout the beatdown, only slacking a little; shoutout to Valve and Popeye for showing up on a holiday and grinding out an intimidating workout with me to the finish (bonus points for enduring the general lack of tunes).
                                                                                                                                                                                                          SYITG, Pope

  • Unlucky #13 – from Architect

    Q woke up eager to push the PAX with a memorable workout in honor of his daughter’s 13th birthday. To the Q’s delight, there were 13 PAX in the gloom, can’t ask for a better sign.

    Warm-a-rama with 13 of everything.

    Rocks selected, mosey to parking lot.

    13 Big boys, 13 Merkins, 13 Squats, 13 OH Presses, Run 50 yards
    Repeat….13 times

    Ended with 13 Burpees as icing on the cake.

    COT with special focus on Men’s Mental health.

  • Bleeping Walls of Jericho, VQ – from Ballz Deep

    As the light dappled across lake Ponchartrain, it was clear in @Chewy’s eyes he regretted posting. In fact, on this day, @Ballz Deep’s VQ, I think he regretted EH’ing me 9ish months ago.

    Arm circlesx10forward/x10backward, hillbilly walkersx10, ass grabbersx10 (thanks @Jose 10K I need to practice that Exicon!), windmillsx10, and side straddle hopsx25 for the warmup. I empathize with @Brexit, as English is his second language, in learning cadence. That stuff is hard!!

    Mosey’d to The Shaft, where accelerated fitness awaited us.

    Main Workout: Shuttle Run “bleep test” and Wall of Jericho.

    Shuttle Run level + Wall of Jericho had to equal 12. i.e. – level 5 shuttle run finish, leaves you with 7 rounds of the Wall of Jericho workout. Wall of Jericho (7 exercises of 7 reps +1 lap around cones and The Shaft) were Plank Jacks, SMKs (2 is 1), Burpees, Air Squats, Mountain Climbers (2 is 1), American Twists (2 is 1), and Flutter Kicks (2 is 1).
    A round of 7s (mtn climbers and flutter kicks) plus Indian Run and a plank-0-rama closed us out.

    Chance, Buttsplice’s nephew, joined us! FNG named WetSocks, for his astounding ability to run from the Shaft to Homebase in a pair of socks.

    P.S – I believe I’m forgetting the 16th PAX. I’m sorry. Reply if you remember, and I’ll edit/add you.

    SYITG!