Bird’s birthday beatdown left us walking around like T-Rexes, so Monday turned into a core day—a decision fueled by equal parts soreness and regret. Warmup? Pull-ups and Big Boys, but the collective ‘grumble grumble’ forced a mid-workout audible. From there, it was Superman’s and 100s at every stop sign on the way to the lakefront—because why not? A wall session of derkins reminded us gravity is undefeated. On the way back, Peter Parkers and American Hammers at the stop signs ensured the abs had no escape. Finished it off with a spicy four-corner special: burpees at each corner for maximum suffering. COT to wrap it up, but only after we stopped questioning life choices.
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The Best Way to Process Trauma is to Go Through it Again with All Your Friends – from Goose
YHC got a nasty case of what seemed to be food poisoning in the afternoon of Thanksgiving Day. This provided for an excellent scenario: enjoyed all the wonderful food, gained no weight from overeating, got hours and hours of intense core exercise, and gained inspiration for the empty Monday Q slot.
After a warmup of the usual on this chilly morning, YHC began the reenactment of that fateful Thanksgiving Day as we cued up the “Gobble Gobble” song by Matthew West that YJ introduced last year.
Thanksgiving Day started as one would expect, overeating at the table/trough next to family members. So, we partnered up, and while the music carried us through the details of the feast, one partner planked while the other did 10 merkins before switching. It wasn’t a long song, but it was plenty long enough.After dinner, we began the neighborhood walk portion of the day, a tradition for many families, and this was accomplished via a simple mosey around the traditional mile route. But, at the beginning of the last quarter-mile, unexpected things began to happen. The world began to spin just a little bit, and at each lampost, we turned 90 degrees to either carioca, nur, carioca the other way, or run. Dizziness was kicking in, and something wasn’t right. Then, it hit–this was happening. It was time to sprint to the toilet/flag.
At this point, the waves of nausea are making it impossible to stand upright, but also impossible to lay down comfortably. So, we lined up on the edge of the concrete and rolled around and around uncomfortably for two minutes (via the following exercises, AMRAP) before having to run to the toilet:
10 big boy situps
10 Nolan Ryans on the left elbow
10 Afflecks
10 Nolan Ryans on the right elbowOnce two minutes were up, we ran to the “toilet”, a pair of coupons for each man about 10 yards from the concrete. Here we hovered over the toilet and wretched from all the way down in our toes before sitting on the toilet and opening a firehose. This was accomplished via 10 manmakers and 20 pooper squats (sit on the upended coupon and extend legs out front, like Jeff Daniels on Dumb and Dumber) or until 2 minutes were up. We than ran back to “bed” and did it all over again.
For Round 2, things were really starting to go downhill. For the first 2 minutes rolling around in agony in the “bed” we replaced the BBSU with 10 wife pleasers, because now the rear faucet is out of control and is requiring that level of glute squeezing to keep the sheets clean. Nolan Ryans on the left still followed, but then the Afflecks were replaced by 10 chilly jacks (low plank jacks). Left elbow Nolan Ryans still followed, and the rolling continued until 2 minutes was up.
This time, to get back and forth from the toilet, since we were losing fluids and strength at such a rapid rate, we had to (bear) crawl. The exercises were still manmakers and squat poopers, though–no matter how much we wanted to avoid them, the wretching is involuntary, and it (as well as the rectal peeing) comes when it will. Can’t stop that train.
It was somewhere around this time that Cuz asked, “Why would you want to go through all this again? Cuz, Cuz–the best way to process trauma is to take some of the hair of the dog that bit the horses you and your friends rode in on and make a mat out of it to do low planks and Nolan Ryans on.
As “Lime in the Coconut” was fading, we had time to do one last lightning round. One minute or rolling around consisted of 20 flutter kicks, 10 Nolan Ryans, 10 Australian sweat angels, and 10 Nolan Ryans. Bear crawl to the toilet again, but this time, sincere there’s really nothing left in your stomach, the manmakers become 10 burpees. And, the squat poopers are now done holding a coupong since it’s now much harder to get up off the toilet.
Thankfullly, we were saved by the bell (zofran and Immodium), and the recovery process began. COT and the Animal shirt went to Cuz for his well-time one-liners that he was still slingin’ in the later rounds. YHC expresed gratitude for a chance to relive a version of the Turkey Day Horrors with concrete blocks and great men. And, now the whole PAX are looking forward to the Salmonella beatdown, which is sure to come once Enron can get out of the bathroon.
SYITG,
Goose -
The Leading Ladies of KenarieRidge – from Charmin
Warm-o-rama:
Slow-vagodas x 10
Grass Grabbers x 10
Hill billies x 10
Good Mornings x 10Arms:
Forward x 10
Backwards x 10
T-clap x 10
Seal Claps x 10
Chinooks x 15It was at this point that Kennah Brah came in hot.
Kim Jong Uns x 10
Harry Rockettes x 10The thang:
Staying at the workout pad, pax are challenged on their knowledge of the leading ladies of Kenarieridge
They are:
Thalia, muse of comedy
Melpomene, muse of tragedy
Terpsicore, muse of dance
Euterpe, muse of musicIf a pax didn’t know the name of a muse, no repeats, then they would have to run to JPAX while the rest of us did Merkins, Frog Merkins, Hangs, Plank Jax, Low Slow Squats, & MNC’s. If a pax did know the name, then all pax would do the exercise for 2 minutes.
We did set a world record of MNC’s for a total of, you guessed it, 89 MNC’s.
For the second round, the Pax would have to list what each muse was the muse of, to test how well they paid attention during the first round. Same exercises as the first round.
6 Minutes of Mary
Freddy Mercuries x 20
Flutter kicks x 20Bolt then lead Protractor Penguins x 20
Appreciators
COT. It was a pleasure leading this last workout before my third child was born and I hope I imparted on the PAX to begin to notice the small things everyday around them.
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Hawg’s Birthday – from Charmin
All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.
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Hawg’s Birthday – from Charmin
All came out to celebrate Hawg. Some Ran, Some Rucked, others just showed up. All had a good time.
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They are wet because they are dry – from Honeysuckle
On a colder than usual day in the gloom, YHC returned from a warm up run to find White Meat holding warm in his truck. Not long after, Lil Cuz and Pikachu pulled up. Not wanting to miss SSHs, Safety Valve arrived shortly after and we began the warmarama.
SSHs, Imperial Walkers, Willie Mays Hayes, Arm circles, cherry pickers, toy soldiers
Mosey to the far gate. As is usually the case, some sort of run through the park is used to showcase some prepping. In this case, it was a pile of coupons and some cones spaced too far apart for Valve’s liking. White Meat complained that it was harder for him to see in the cold weather but that no one ever believes him. Valve said that it made perfect sense, because the eyes were dry. Then Meat said that they were wet. Then Zen Master Valve responded that they were wet because they were dry. And then proceeded to describe a feedback loop that detects dry eyes and causes tears to be dispensed (via some sort of valve opening, if you will). This, and White Meat doing his best impersonation of an eye doctor, carried us through the entire mosey and we arrived at the coupons.
Thang 1:
YHC then described the main event, which is some variation of Dora that may or may not be in the exicon. The coupon is to be moved incrementally from cone to cone (6 steps in all) and then back to the start line. On the way out, partner one runs to the coupon, lunge walks it to the next cone, then does 15 thrusters. The home partner starts 30 burpees. Then partner 1 runs back and helps partner 2 complete the burpees. When they are complete, partner 2 is released to move the coupon and partner 1 starts the 30 burpee counter again.
Unrelated to any of this, YHC also admitted that this was not a Drew Carey beatdown, so perhaps it was better that Goose wasn’t there as he probably wouldn’t have been able to contain his disappointment. Rather, YHC asked why does Cleveland Rock? The best the Pax could come up with was that it’s in Ohio. YHC then revealed that Cleveland is the home of the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, and today we would be listening to songs from the 2024 inductees. This included Foreigner, Ozzy Osborne, A Tribe Called Qwest, Jimmy Buffett, and Kool n the Gang.
After the six coupon steps away from the start line are done, the coupon is moved back towards the starting line. This time, the explorer partner does 25 curls upon reaching the coupon then murder bunnies to the next cone. The home partner is doing 50 big boy situps. Again, the explorer partner helps complete the 50 BBS’s before the swap happens.
All in all, each PAX did 45 thrusters, 75 curls, and did roughly half of the 180 burpees and 300 BBS’s.
Somehow, after initially falling behind to team LiL Suckle, team Safety Meat pulled ahead and finished first. They were fast because they were slow?
Thang 2:
YHC really had no idea how long this Dora would take, but as everyone pushed through the burn and didn’t take breaks, there was still a fair amount of time left. YHC had sort of prepared for this situation, so we moseyed to the playground. Valve saw right through this and immediately knew that hanging would be involved. The same teams were kept, and the first teammate had to hang while the other did 5 merkins. Then they swapped and the teammate that was just hanging now did 6 merkins while the other teammate had to hang. And so on, adding one merkin each time.
Given the recent time warps that have been experienced in beatdowns, with both AB and Goose messing with our mental ratios of work-to-time, White Meat realized what time it was and had to leave when this was almost over. So Honey Cuz became Lil Honey Valve and we continued until 20 merkins were reached. This burned because it was cold.
Thang 3:
The Pax at this point wanted to do some Mary and go home, but not today. We moseyed back to the coupons and did farmers carrys with double coupons over the 60 yard course a few times (after a few kinks were worked out). It felt like it took so long because we only had a few minutes left.
Eventally we reached 59:30 and moseyed to the where the flags normally are for namearama, announcements, and intentions.
Though among the Pax there were at least 3 shirts to exchange, YHC forgot his and Meat had to leave, so no awards were handed out.
Lil Cuz prayed us out. Thanks men for venturing out in the cold after Thanksgiving, though I am sure you were really hoping for Dox dressed as Mimi.
SYITG,
Honeysuckle -
Mothership 2024-11-30 – from Catfish
Conditions – Nice and chilly with a nice cool breeze, almost feels like Christmas!
The Thang:
Started with 10 OYO burpees, then a mosey to the peristyle for a warmup:
SSH x 20 in cadence
Imperial Squat Walkers x 20 in cadence
8-Counts x 10 in cadence
Peter Parker Peters x 20 in cadence
Merkins x 20 (1 is 1) in cadence
Took a bear-crawl half-lap around the peristyle, then switched to crawl-bear for the second half.
Grabbed a column for a people’s chair, then did a short round of bat-wings holding the people’s chair (all exercised in cadence) – arm circles x 10, reverse arm circles x 10, overhead claps x 10, seal claps x 10, Moroccan night clubs x 10.
Moseyed to the great lawn and partnered up for a round of BOMBS – 50 burpees, 100 overhead claps, 150 merkins, 200 big-boys, 250 squats.
Moseyed over to the bench at the corner by the sculpture garden for alternating leg step ups (in cadence x 20) and Rocky Balboas (x 20 in cadence)
Moseyed to the stairs on the west side of the museum for calf raises (x 20 in cadence), left leg side leg raises (x 10 in cadence) and right leg side leg raises (x 10 in cadence). Got on sixes for flutter kicks (x 20 in cadence), LBTs ( x 20 in cadence), and Dr. Ws (x 10 in cadence).
Moseyed to Stonehenge by the entrance the sculpture garden for 8-counts (x 10 in cadence).
Moseyed to the bandstand by Café du Monde for donkey kicks (x 10 in cadence).
Back to flag, 5 OYO burpees to finish. COT. Coffee at the Bean Gallery because PJ’s on Canal still undergoing renovation. -
DR + FNG FTW – from Russo
Oh Jose, you know not of what you speak. Up until around 5:28 today, you would have been right. After Thanksgiving…Cold-ish for mere mortals…some rumored Turkey day double postings. Who could blame anyone for fartsacking and leaving me sad clown. I knew I’d have to begin working off the extra pounds, so with Pelican resting up, I started slaloming the columns and doing some pilot house climbs.
The Pad has been decked out in its Christmas best sparkles and tinsel for a week or so, but today I spotted something new: an 8 foot tall light-up snowman on the stage (We have a stage). My mind immediately thought “Get a selfie with it, and post it saying something like ‘we had a downrange poster’”.
Alas, that was not needed, because out of the dark I see an F3 shirt. It was Houston’s Einstein. And he brought an FNG. The 4 leaf clover-type rarity: A downrange post with an FNG in tow. I love ya, HogsBreath, but that beats a semi-regular dirty ‘Dell post any day of the week.
Regardless, it was in the 40s as we went a little long because of the late start.
Warmups (IC 10x)
– SSHs
– Self love
– High knees
– Toe touches
– Imperial walkers
– Arm circlesThang
Ye olde tried and true deck of death, using the bus stop and stage as changes of scenery:Spades – urkins
Clubs – step ups
Diamonds – freak nastys
Hearts – gas pumpsSpades – Peter Parker’s
Clubs – shoulder tap plank jacks (2 is 1)
Diamonds – lunges (2 is 1)
Hearts – leg raisesSpades – Carolina drydocks
Clubs – Monkey Humpers
Diamonds – SMCs
Hearts – heels to heavenNo Mary to speak of, but we did finish with COT, NOR, and quick prayer. Welcome FNG Coachella (who is a Mandevillian), and word is Einstein will join us for Bird’s birdday party tomorrow.
SYITG
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Last Q of the week, let’s take it easy, wait, who’s that coming up the ramp? – from Jose10k
Long week, 2 5ks yesterday, YHC was ready for some Yoga and stretching with Moby. Something simple and light. Then headlights appeared at the bottom of the ramp, Hogsbreath from Slidell came out here to join the group. I get it, no one goes to the Slash Pad anymore. Quarter pipe has to be paid to post. YHC had to make up a better plan for the new arrival. Good warmup then to the thang. Down to the first floor where we ducked into the covered walkway for 10 minutes of core. Calf raises up the stairs (2each step). 4 corners at top. 10 merkins each corner, back peddle halfway, run the rest. 20 sumo squats and the same in between. Lt Dan up and back to finish off. COT and Hogsbreath prayed us out. My week of Qing is officially done. Bird has the cold, birthday Q tomorrow. SYITG
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Thankful for Modern Medicine – from Goose
Dox reached out to YHC yesterday afternoon needing a Q sub. Apparently, he had picked up some sort of parasite from an hours-long operation wherein he was elbows deep in a badly infected toe. YHC was grateful to honor these heroics, especially since it gave YHC the opportunity to build a beatdown around a big toe that’s still recovering from surgery. There would be no running or side straddle hops, but there would still be plenty to be grateful for.
After a warmup of slow foot movements, YHC cued up a song routine suggested by a number of his 2.0’s. The song is “Popcorn” by the Barenaked Ladies from their genius kids album, “Snacktime”. Seriously, do yourself a favor and put it on next time you’re on the road with the fam.
The only move possible for the trigger word “pop” is Moroccan Nightclubs, so that’s we did. Can’t say it was the greatest routine (or explanation of its connection to the Thanksgiving theme) but it wasn’t the worst.
We then grabbed coupons and walked over to the field by the big flag where we circled around Bose’ mounted on his concrete throne. YHC then rambled a bit about the difference intentionally cultivated gratitude makes, especially as a remedy for self-pity and resentment. Today we’d cultivate a little gratitude via the letters of the word “Thanksgiving”.
Each letter stood for an exercise that we’d do three rounds each of, Tabata style (45 seconds on, 15 seconds off). It went like this:
* Tricep presses (deep, burning foreshadowing)
* Hand release merkins
* American hammers
* Nolan Ryan’s (switch halfway through the middle of the second round)
* Kettle bell swings
* Sit-ups, WWIII variety (to the great delight of Lil’ Cuz)
* Goblet squats
* Inchworm Merkins
* V-ups (prompted my M to ask, “Which exercise has you pulling up handfuls of grass and stuffing them down the back of your shorts? What letter does that one start with?”)
* Isometric low plank (just a low plank)
* This is where we ran out of time, but these fine HIMS couldn’t stand not finishing, so they all agreed to see it to the end)
* Neil Diamonds (aka Kneel Diamonds)
* Gorilla Humpers (wide monkey humpers)And by the time we were done, we were all filled with gratitude. Wait, no, grass. We were all filled with grass.
Prayers for Dox and others who are sick, and Tap prayed us out.
Grateful for these awesome dudes getting up early on a holiday, the only hype being that we’d be couponing. And, grateful for the excuse to stuff myself today.
SYITG,
Goose
