F3 New Orleans

Author: zoolander

  • Windows Up / Heat On

    5 strong at the Scramble this morning as Hurricane Laura pummeled Lake Charles and many of the Thursday regulars prepared for their Gulf Coast CSAUP.

    QIC checked the regular route prior to arriving at the double shovel flag. No barricades or pier closures in sight, so after a quick warmup of 10 Good Mornings, 10 Abe Vigodas, 10 Imperial Squat Walkers, and 1-legged chair stretches, the scramblers scrambled with a few stops along the way for Merkins.

    Wrapped up with 50 LBCs, 50 flutter kicks and 15 Burpees. Jose prayed us out.

    YHC was looking forward to Jose’s daily deposit into the sweat jug, but he left it in the garage! So windows up and heat on for the car ride home to squeeze out every last drop. SYITG!

  • Audibles at Granny’s (I’m not a Professional)

    As YHC pulled up to Granny’s, there was an unusually large group of F3 men ready to start the day off right. With the incessant soreness from Cowbell’s ISI pull-up challenge and Bushwacker’s consistent weekly prodding for some yoga infused workouts, we got started with some power flow, sun salutation, warrior 1, 2, 3, 4, half moon, whatever, whatever…I’m not a professional!

    Mosey to the bus stop. Not a lot of mumble chatter here, and Cowbell even kept his shirt on.

    – Bulgarian split squats (IC),

    – Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Burpee Box Jumps (OYO)

    – Irkins (IC)

    – Dirkins (IC)

    – Freak Nasties (IC)

    – Balls to the Wall Burpees aka Decline Burpees (Durpees?) OYO.

    Mosey to the tunnel, where, according to Jose, nothing good ever happens (including QIC’s cadence counting).

    – Top of the tunnel – 10 Jump Squats IC

    – ½ way down the incline – Merkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – 12 count body building, mounting climbing, shoulder tapping, squat jumping, burpees (IC). QIC was just calling audibles at this point. I’m not a professional!

    – Sprint to the top of the tunnel for some cool down Imperial Walkers

    – ½ way down the incline – hand rail dirkins, I think

    – ½ way through the tunnel – We did something. It’s a blur after the earlier 12 counts.

    – ½ way up the incline – slow Peter Parker/Parker Peter (there’s a yoga term for this, I’m sure…Bird said we were “flying”…I guess that’s what birds do.)

    – Top of the tunnel – 20 Sister Mary Katherines

    Mosey back to the trailhead, bunny hop up the stairs and reconvene at the shovel flags. Jose, did you notice we had two this morning?

    Closed out with Cowbell Crunchy Frogs and Goose-led Nolan Ryan’s.

    QIC prayed us out into the day. Thanks for posting in numbers today and following my lead, men. SYITG.

  • Records Were Meant To Be Broken

    While a few soldier Pax were recovering from Tanked Up’s overnight 100k Hundo, the rest of us got to work on a clear Breesy Saturday before the Saints stick it to the Vikings on Sunday.

    Pre-thang 2 miler with Turbo, Pik, Freon, Zoo, and FNG Paul.

    We warmed up with Imperial Walkers, Squats, Imperial Squat Walkers, Side Straddle Hops, Sleep Walker 123 (up to 5), and Merkins

    Mosey to Noah’s Ark where Freon took the Q / VQ, and led the beat down, which like Brees’ and Thomas’ records, was nothing short of spectacular. It went like this:

    3 Rounds:

    High Knees 60 50 40

    Mountain Climbers 30 40 46

    Straight Leg Sprints 50 40 30

    —Recovery Run around the Ark—

    Gorilla Crawls 16 20 26

    Jimmie Jumps 50 40 30

    Triple Bear 15 20 21

    Frog Burpees 25 20 15

    —Recovery Run around the Ark—

    For a total of 684 reps equivalent to the sum of Brees’ and Thomas’ record breaking stats (540 all time touchdowns + 144 receptions = 684)

    YHC resumed the Q for some work on the Lake Wall. Irkins, Box Jumps, Derkins, Freak Nasties, Burpee Box Jumps

    Indian Run back to the shovel flag where the Pax indulged QIC with a Kenpo Kooldown.

    Excellent work, Freon! YHC was not feeling creative for this beatdown and enlisted Freon last minute for some hurry-up offense. Not only did he Co-Q/VQ, but he EH’d Psycho and brought FNG Paul, now known as Jukebox.

    Psycho, having escaped the Bates Motel to support Freon, prayed us out.

    Thanks for following our lead men. SYITG.

  • Boot, Scoot, and Burpee

    It was F3 Northshore’s own ne’er-present Ocho that EH’d YHC exactly a year ago. The High Impact Men of this group routinely post to support each other and lift each other up, day in and day out. Despite the broken leg and ankle, there was no way YHC was going to give up his anniversary Q and miss out on celebrating this gift of F3. So, with QIC donning a Boot and a Knee Scooter, we got started with a long “warm up”:

    12 x Toe Touches

    12 x Arm Circles

    12 x Gas Pumps

    12 x Putins

    12 x Scissors

    12 x Heels to Heaven

    12 x Air Presses

    12 x Oblique V-Ups

    12 x Little Manny Crunches

    12 x Crunchy Frog

    12 x Freddy Mercuries

    12 x Van Gohdas

    12ish Flutter Kicks

    12 x Morrocan Night Clubs

    12 x Lazy Peter Parkers

    12 x Scorpion Kicks

    12 x LBCs

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    12 x Cherry Pickers

    …and 1 Burpee

    Short scoot toward Mississippi and we circled up for some high rep Mucho Chesto:

    18 x Merkins

    18 x Wide Merkins

    18 x Diamond Merkins

    18 x Stagger Left Merkins

    18 x Stagger Right Merkins

    …followed by 12s. Why 12, and not 11 asks Jose 10k. Because that’s how many screws are in the old kicker, Jose.

    We partnered into groups of 3 and completed Freak Nasties on the Lake Wall and Big Boy Sit Ups on the side walk with 2 Partners carrying the third in between. Grundy and Toto were great sports as they quickly learned that they’d be carrying QIC for each run. Thanks guys!

    Circled up for a Mucho Chesto bonus:

    12 x Military Merkins

    12 x Makhtar N’ Merkins (5 count?, 6 count?…who’s counting?)

    12 x Irkins

    12 x Carolina Drydocks

    12 x Dirkins

    Back to the shovel flag for some Mary:

    Hello Dollies

    Jane Fondas (Left)

    Abrinome

    H2H Freddy Mercuries

    Wife Pleasers (grunted out by Sparky)

    Jane Fondas (Right)

    100s

    …and 1 Burpee

    Counterama; Name-orama; Maverick prayed out the group of 21 PAX. Thanks for following my handicapped lead, men. SYITG.

  • ZOORICH CLASSIC

    After a quick disclaimer and Warmorama (18 x SSH, 18 x Toe Touches, 9 Windmills), the Pax moseyed westward and partnered up to commence a frisbee golf challenge. We had 18 holes i.e. crawfish trays (‘tis the season!) with a total course length of ~1 mile. For each hole, one partner threw the high quality, PDGA-approved disc (courtesy of Dollar General), while the other partner performed the following exercises between strokes for the respective holes. Partners alternated throwing and exercising throughout the course.

    Between Strokes

    Holes 1 – 3: Bear Crawl

    Holes 4 – 6: Wheelbarrow

    Holes 7 – 9: Lunge Walk

    Holes 10 – 12: Groucho Walk

    Holes 13 – 15: Frankensteins

    Holes 16 – 18: Burpee Broad Jumps

    Once the team completed a hole, both team members performed the following exercises with the rep count equal to how many strokes the team took to complete the hole.

    Hole          Exercise

    1                # x Freak Nasties

    2                # x Jump Squats

    3                # x Derkins

    4                #  x Squerkins

    5               # x Copperhead Squats

    6               # x Hello Dollies

    7               # x Gwerkins (As if the Squerkins weren’t bad enough)

    8               # x Burpees

    9               # x Donkey Kicks

    10            # x Plank Jacks

    11            # x Sister Mary Katherines

    12           #  x Big Boy Situps

    13           # x Crunchy Frogs

    14           # x Groiners

    15          # x Body Builders

    16          #  x Dive Bombers

    17         # x Box Jumps (No one completed as time ran out)

    18         # x Patty Cake Merkins (No one completed as time ran out)

    Team BEAN HAMMER started out rough with the first throw on the first hole in the Lake, but quickly recovered.

    Team STEVE GRUNDY put on a racy display of Squerkins, which are very likely to never be incorporated into another F3 Northshore beatdown.

    Welcome back two Pax back from Injured Reserve, Butt Splice and Tanked Up!, who inadvertently won unattributable points for best team name: BUTT TANK!

    Thanks to team JOSE RUSSO for scooping up the coupons at the end.

    Team scores were recorded on scorecards provided by the Q and tallied below with penalty 6s for unfinished holes. This simplified scoring normalization yielded team Shooting Sparks as winner of the 2019 Zoorich Classic. Congrats guys. Wear this badge of honor proudly!

    Counterama, Name-orama, ceremonial naming of FNG – Speedy Gonzales, and Butt Splice prayed us out. 19th hole coffeeteria at our usual spot. Thanks for allowing me to lead, Men. Hope you enjoyed it as much as YHC had dreaming it up. SYITNG!

  • MARSH MADNESS

    In honor of the recently completed NCAA Championship, QIC devised the inaugural F3 Northshore Marsh Madness that paid homage to none other than former U of Arkansas head coach, Nolan Richardson, whose teams’ up tempo and intense pressure defensive style was known as “40 Minutes of Hell.”

    With lighting and thunder behind us, the light rain subsiding, and many regulars crushing Ragnar, our group of 7 got started.

    Quick Warmorama around the invisible shovel flag consisted of Sweet 16 x Toe Touches, Side Straddle Hops, Bobby Hurleys, Makhtar N’ Merkins (6 count Makhtar N’Diayes followed by a Merkin). Maverick came in hot at the end of the warm up to round out the Pax of Elite 8.

    Pax moseyed ¾ miles to the Milestone Marsh, home of F3 Northshore’s Monday morning beatdown. Following instruction, Pax partnered up into 4 x 2 man teams at each corner of the court with a basketball. Each team was to complete the following exercises in sequence accumulating to total.

    • 150 x Burpees

    • 300 x Squats

    • 150 x Big Boy Sit Ups

    • 300 x Air Presses

    • 150 x Merkins

    •  300 x Lunges

    Meanwhile, 1 member of each team backpedaled with their basketball to half court, performed a Bobby Hurley, and drove to goal for a shot of his choosing: layup (1 point if sunk), free throw (2 points if sunk), or three point shot (3 points if sunk). Shooters marked their points using the first letter of their F3 name with sidewalk chalk. The competition was to end when the first team completed all exercises and all members of the team planked on the sideline and yelled “Halt!”, but no team was finished by 0715, so QIC called it in respect of time.

    Total team points and individual team member points were tallied. The SW corner represented by Bird and Sparky had the most combined points (81).

    The highest scoring individual from each of the 4 teams were Bird, Stockboy, Toto, and Zoolander. The Final Four were summoned for a 5-shot “Around-the-World” shoot out, while the rest of the Pax lined the 3-point line performing side straddle hops (so as to simulate fans in the stands trying to distract the shooter). After the 4 rounds and sinking 3 of 5 shots, Zoolander emerged as the soon to be never remembered 2019 F3 Northshore Marsh Madness champion! We’ll see if the prestigious title can be defended in a year or so.

    Time was short, so the Pax of Elite 8 moseyed back to the meeting spot.

    Counterama, Nameorama. Welcome FNG Joel who sank 16 three pointers and is now known as Bird.

    QIC prayed us out. Thanks for following my lead today men. See you in the next Gloom.

  • This Looks Familiar

    Ideal weather conditions for a Saturday morning beatdown at the Lakefront. YHC was looking to repeat the soreness experienced after Turbo’s Cinder Block beatdown the Saturday before.

     Pre-thang warmorama

    11 x Toe Touches                            16 x Scorpions

    12 x Smurf Jacks                            17 x Monkey Humpers

    13 x Twist & Pivot                         18 x Arm Circles

    14 x Goofballs                                19 x Air Presses

    15 x Imperial Squat Walkers      20 x Windmills

    Mosey

    The Thang – This is about where Grundy pointed out that “This looks familiar”, as Q obviously incorporated some P90X exercises into the routine.

    10 x Spiderman Merkins

    10 x Dive Bombers

    2 x Plank Compass w/ Merkin

    10 x Burpie Scrambles

    10 x Patty Cake Merkins

    —Bear Crawl to the Lake Wall—

    20 x Heel to Toes (on Wall)

    20 x Box Jumps

    20 x One Legged Squats (on Wall)

    20 x Snowboard Hops – Thanks to Coconuts for leading the cadence…because every day is leg day.

    20 x One Legged Cross Hops…or Tony Horton’s Hot Foot

    —Bear crawl back to the field—

    10 x Depth Charges

    10 x Bushwacker Burpees

    20 x Mother Superiors – slightly intensified version of Sister Mary Katherines…too intense for YHC who took an obvious extended break half way through

    —Mosey—

    11s: Freak Nasties and Donkey Kicks with Carioca in between

    Clarence Carter Squat Hops – 2 lines of Pax do 3 squat hops to the right, 3 to the left, 1 forward, 1 backward, 180 deg around. Rinse and Repeat.  Looks like Strokin…we even squeezed in some “Sassified” Wife Pleasers as Bushwacker serenaded with the lyrics.

    Mosey to shovel flag for Counterama, Nameorama, and many thanks to Barely Legal for praying us out.