Author: Shorty

A Wednesday Tradition

“To know nothing of what happened before you were born, is to forever remain a child.” – Cicero

Before there was Lafitte’s Plunge, Okwata, or The Foundry; there was The Birdcage: F3NOLA’s original Wednesday beatdown. YHC loves a good tradition! It’s always good to go back to the basics every once in a while. Don’t get me wrong, change and innovation are great and necessary, but it is tradition and history that forms your values and perspectives.

Fourteen men of NOLA decided to take their DRP in Audubon Park, and YHC was excited to start… but first…

DISCLAIMER

The Thang

Warmup mosey around the the club house parking lot and over to a grassy area by the bandstand.

COP #1

15x Seal Jacks IC
15x Cowbell Jacks (aka Smurf Jacks) IC…

Cowbell wasn’t impressed:

But YHC doesn’t care!

15x SSH IC
15x Plank Jacks IC
10x Burpees OYO

Quick mosey over to the 3rd light pole, and partner up as YHC explains what we are getting into.

Circuit #1

1min x Gassers (run to the 2nd/4th light pole and back to 3rd)
10x Power Squats IC
10x Alt. Lunges IC

Repeat one more time, then mosey over to the running track and circle up.

Circuit #2

10x 8-count Body Builders IC
10x Plank Hops IC
10x In-and-Out Planks IC

Repeat one more time, then mosey over to the Birdcage, and partner up again.

Dora 3-x-1: Each team complete the following reps as a team.

300:
Pax 1 = Dips (count)
Pax 2 = run 100m forward, then run backward 100m, flapjack w/ Pax 1.

100:
Pax 1 = Hip Slappers (count);
Pax 2 = 10 Lunges out, run back, flapjack w/ Pax 1.

Mosey back to the flag…1.5 minutes left…time w/ Mary!

COP #2: 1.5MOM

20x Crunchy Frogs IC
20x Flutter Kicks IC

Circled up for the COT, which included the Countoff, Nameorama, Shoutouts and Prayer. Thanks for letting me lead!

Moleskin

Grow Ruck is 06.10.17. Mark your calendars! Trust me, it’s worth doing! #CSAUP

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March 22, 2017
Making America Stretch Again!

“Better bend than break” – Proverb

Six men (which grew to seven later on) meandered over to the Uptowner AO. Since Hawg decided to kill us with H8, the Pax thought it would be a good idea to recover with some yoga before the Tough Mudder tomorrow. Little did they know that yoga is a beast in itself, but it would be a nice change-up to throwing around rocks. So the DISCLAIMER was given, and then…

The Thang

We did a lot of things that popped into my head. I gather a lot of my yoga movements from Tony or Shaun T… so this beatdown was a figure-it-out as we go. YHC stressed the importance of breathing throughout the moves….it is the most important thing!

Started out with some breathing movements, and hamstring/groin stretches. Hard to explain…you just have to post to FIO.

Plank Work:
High Planks
16x R. Leg Lifts
16x L. Leg Lifts

Sun Salutations: Progression shown below.

Suppose to look like the girl on the left, but we looked like Sheldon:

We did 3x Salutations (Da Parish showed up during #3), then we did it 6x Salutations and then added on a yoga pose like Warrior 1 (R/L), Warrior 2 (R/L), Reverse Warrior (R/L). Google if you want to see what it looks like.

Deep Muscle Work:
16x Low, Very Slow Squats (1,2,3,Low Squat,1,2,3,Standing)
On the 16th one, we held it down low…then did:
16x Low Squat Pulses IC

Repeated Deep Muscle Work with a Right Leg Lunge
16x Squats IC
Repeated Deep Muscle Work with a Left Leg Lunge

Ouch!

Plie Stretch: 45 sec on right, 45 sec on left….it’s a wide low squat with same hand on same foot (go ahead…try it!)

Balance Poses: Held these for about 30ish seconds.
Knee Curls (R/L) – arms holding up your leg, try to touch knee to chest.
Table Tops (R/L) – kinda like a standing superman while balancing on one foot.
Chair Pose – legs together and sit in a chair, arms up to sky

Hip Work: Hands under shoulders, knees under hips….then raise knees off the ground, and do these:

16x Spidermans (R/L)
16x Leg Lifts (R/L)
Went into Childs Pose to recover after each side.

Finished up with some flexibility work. Standard stuff like hamstrings, groins, runners stretches, etc.

Circled up for the COT, where we had the Countoff, Nameorama, and Prayer.

Moleskin

Real men do yoga. Helps you stay young!

Good luck tomorrow to the Tough Mudder Crew. Y’all will have a great time!

…..and yes, Kim Chi is still perfect in 2017!

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March 17, 2017
Suprise

“The key to happiness is low expectations” – a wise man

YHC woke up with excitement today, not just because of an Okwata beatdown with F3 brothers…it was my birthday Q! So excited that I picked up a pack of cupcakes for a post-beatdown celebration. But pulling up to the AO…it looked like this:

That one car was Torque, my only friend who decided to celebrate with me on my Birthday Q. As 0530 hrs came, YHC was depressed… where could all the Pax be?? Was Kim Chi’s posting streak over now??? Not going to lie, my excitement I had when I woke up was evaporating quickly! At 0532 hrs, reality set in that no one else was coming, and Torque and I were going to get stronger today!

DISCLAIMER (depressed tone)

The Thang

Mosey around the fountain, which was on this gloom (at least Mitch remembered my birthday!)… then a strange noise could be heard, and a lot of movement on top of the levee:

It was a Pax of 10 pranksters storming down the levee! Well played, gentlemen…well played! They got me good…I can just imagine them up on top the levee watching us two around the flag:

Anyway, circle up in a high-grassy area.

COP #1: Warmup

29x SSH IC (YHC’s age!)
20x Smurf Jacks IC (Cowbell still did SSH for some reason!)
20x Squat Jacks IC
15x Merkins IC
15x Mountain Climbers IC

Stayed in our circle for Game #1.

Game #1: Squat Pulses

Pax performed squat pulses until 3 Pax were left standing. If you fall out, plank and wait. 4x Burpees if you weren’t one of the three.

Mosey over to the levee and partner up.

Game #2: Dora 100
Pax 1: Run up the levee backwards and back down forward (quad burn after Game #1).
Pax 2: AMRAP Burpees (keep going until the group hits 100x Burpees).

No penalty here…just doing it was penalty enough!

Mosey up to the top of the levee and line up facing the lake.

Game #3: 3 minutes of Planks

If you fall out, LBCs for you…not many Pax doing LBCs…our time with Mary is helping!

Mosey down to the backside of levee (aka Prankster Parking Lot) and partner up.

Game #4: Team BLIMPS

BLIMPS together with your partner. Cannot advance until both finish the letter. Alternate letters at the top and bottom of the levee (e.g. B at the top, L at the bottom, I at the top, etc.)

Tclaps to Torque & Triple Shift for winning, they watched the rest of us do 4x Burpees.

Mosey to the frontside of the levee (aka Lonely Island) and partner up.

Game #5: Dora 300
Pax 1: AMRAP Dips (keep going until the group hits 300x Dips)
Pax 2: 1x Pullup (Best Pullup of your life!). Probably ended up with about 20x Pullups per Group.

Mosey back to the flag..2 minutes left… so Mary Time

COP #2: 2MOM

12x Crunchy Frog IC
12x Flutter Kicks IC

Now back to the flag, where we held the COT – Countoff, Nameorama, Shoutouts and Prayer….and Birthday Cupcakes too! Thanks for coming to my party….and for that lovely surprise!

Moleskin

One more year of hate from YHC! After this little prank from the Pax, i’ll get revenge!

Tough Mudder is next weekend! Tclaps to the men who signed up!

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March 10, 2017
Hey DJ, drop that Beat!

“It’s not in numbers, but in unity, that our great strength lies.” – Thomas Paine

Windy gloom today, but that wasn’t even an issue… well it could have been if Cowbell posted:

The real problem was no Q showed this morning. After checking the records courtesy of Rudy’s spreadsheet, it looks like JV “shortied”! #karma

But our Pax of six shrugged it off, and we did something similar to the picture below:

And organize we did! DJ-Style Q!…but first… DISCLAIMER

The Thang

Mosey over the levee to avoid the wind, and circle up.

COP #1: Warmup

10x Low Slow Merkins IC
10x Shoulder Taps IC
10x Plank Jacks IC
10x Merkins IC
15x Low Slow Squats IC
15x Low Squat Pulses IC
15x Squats IC

Nice and toasty! Mosey over to Canal Blvd and group up around the sidewalk.

OYO: Animal Parade

Run up the sidewalk, perform the “Animal Walk” across the crest of the levee, run down the other sidewalk, and back over to the start.

Animals include:

Lap 1: Bear Crawl
Lap 2: Jameis Winstons
Lap 3: Duck Walk
Lap 4: Frog Hops

Turn over the reigns to Surge, and mosey over to the pull-up bars.

OYO: House of Pain – 6 Pax; 6 stations; 6 midwife noises

Pax 1: Run over the levee and back (timer)
Pax 2: Pull ups
Pax 3: Burpees
Pax 4: Dips
Pax 5: Stepups
Pax 6: Merkins

We did two rounds of this. Turn the Q over to Kim Chi, and mosey over to a grassy area by the flag.

COP #2: 6MOM

20x LBCs IC
20x Leg Raises IC (Thanks, Tony!)
10x Nolan Ryans IC (R)
10x Nolan Ryans IC (L)
25x Dying Cockroaches IC

Turn it over to Tool, and recovered to our feet.

COP #3: Burpee Clock w/ Squat Metronome

Pax performs Squats together while one Pax does a Burpee and increases the count by one. Went counter clockwise for each Burpee until we hit 60. 10 Burpees per Pax!

YHC took over for the remain 3 minutes, and we moseyed to the other side of the flag.

COP #4: Finding your Chi

Did two rounds of a Vinyasa (Thanks again, Tony!)

Back to the flag, where we held the COT: countoff, nameorama, and prayer. Great DJ-style Q by all! Pax got better today!

Moleskin

Great to see and experience our leadership gained through F3 in a DJ-style beatdown. The F3NOLA Pax stepped up this gloom and we didn’t miss a beat.

Kim Chi has a streak of 52 straight post! Tclaps!

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March 2, 2017
Lundi Gras

Mardi Gras has taken over the city, but six men wanted to burn off some king cake they ate/will eat this week. So lets get to it, but first:

DISCLAIMER

The Thang

Mosey over to the rock pile, grab a friend, and then over to the playground.

COP #1: Warmup

20x Rock Jacks IC
30x SSH IC
15x Low, Slow Merkins IC
20x Kettlebells IC
15x Slow Parker Peters IC (See Rudy, no Low in there)
20x Mountain Climbers IC

Grab rocks, set them down near the fence, and find a buddy:

Pax 1: Run a lap (timer)
Pax 2: Throw rocks over the fence (5 at the start – 8 at the end) #rockcrushers #TheSkinnyGoals
Pax 3: Two Pullups / 5 Merkins

Did 2 rounds of this, then left our rocks and moseyed to the bleachers at the track. Split into two teams.

Pax 1: Stadiums (well, short stadiums) – three times up at each handrail #safetyfirst
Pax 2: 10 Flutter Kicks / 5 Hello Dolly

Did 3 rounds of this. Round one was running stadiums; Round two & three was jumping up and running down…remember the disclaimer.

Mosey back to the rocks for another round of the first circuit. Once done, dropped our rocks off, and ran to the flag…two minutes left, so:

COP #2: Merkins / Squats

10x Merkins IC
10x Squats IC
10x Merkins IC
10x Squats IC

Held the COT, where we had the countoff, nameorama, and prayer. Happy Mardi Gras Everyone!

Moleskin

Tclaps to Kim Chi! He is still perfect. I think today was 49… he gets “respect” tomorrow!

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February 27, 2017
Fartsacker Rehab is now Open!
Are you down on yourself for missing too many glooms? Are you tired of your fellow Pax getting on your ass too much? #2ndF There is now a chance for you to break that trend… and it’s called Fartsacker Rehab. Not the noun kind of rehab, but the verb form:
- rehab (verb) – rehabilitate or restore
Like the ancient quote from Confucius, “The best time to plant a tree is 10 years ago. The Second best time is now.” Fartsacker Rehab allows you to break the trend of Fartsackerism, and it jump starts you on the path of taking your DRP.

Now for the launch details, a record showing of 2 Pax gathered around the Foundry. Cowbell told me he just finished his merkins for the day #300for30! (Tclaps). Little did he know what we were about to do… brief Disclaimer…

The Thang

Mosey over to the pullup bars.

The “Murph”:
- 100x Pullups
- 200x Merkins
- 300x Squats
- 2 mile Run
We divided the pushups, merkins, and squats into 20 rounds. Ran a half mile after 5 rounds, then ran a mile and a half after we knocked out the other 15 rounds.

Listened to music while we got to work.. you know, us millennials have our ways. Had the COT around Cowbell’s Truck. Mission Accomplished!

Moleskin

Cowbell’s Merk count is 500 after this one. His chest is going to pop!

Fartsacker Rehab is going to be flexible with the day of the week, but we will hold the time (6pm) and place (The Foundry – City Park) steady for now as we work through it. The goal is to have any Pax who is feeling frustrated with fartsacking to lead an afternoon beatdown for the NOLA Pax….whenever they want! We will communicate future date, time and destination information on the Groupme App here

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February 21, 2017
Levee Work

“It’s hard work getting there, but the view is much better at the top” – a wise man

Five men gathered and stood aimlessly in the grass #VSF. Walleye was scheduled for the Q, but organized a replacement yesterday at The Foundry due to a scheduling conflict. YHC stepped up to handle, but due to my recent history of fartsacking, Frac Sac and Kim Chi thought we should get some more replacement Qs just in case…Lo and behold, YHC did post and without a minute to spare, gave the DISCLAIMER, and we were off.

The Thang

Mosey around the fountain (not on…C’mon, Mitch!) and over to a grassy area.

COP #1: Warmup

20x SSH IC
20x Plank Jacks IC
20x Chilly Jacks IC (aka Low Plank Jacks)
20x Smurf Jacks IC …. no Cowbell joke today since he wasnt there, the Pax was sad:

10x Single Leg Squat-Reach-Jump IC (R)
10x Single Leg Squat-Reach-Jump IC (L)

Enough for now, mosey to the levee and line up at the bottom.

OYO: Jacob’s Ladder

Pax runs up the levee, does 1x burpee at the top, then runs down the levee. Increase burpee reps by the number of levees you did. Plank and wait once you do 7x burpees. The great thing about Jacob’s Ladder is the synergy that forms between burpees and levees. It makes everything else suck less!

Once we had out six, we moseyed (what is the past tense of mosey?) down to a lit-up, grassy area.

COP #2: Jack Webbs (1:2 Ratio)

Pax does a merkin, then two air presses. Increase merkins by 1 rep until 10x merkins; increase air presses by 2 reps until 20x air presses. The hard part is the air presses!

Mosey back up the levee and partner up.

OYO: Colonel Trautman #exicon

Pax #1: Run to the pull up bars and do 3x Pullups, then back up the levee to relieve Pax #2.
Pax #2: Low Planks (first 3 rounds) / Al Gores (last 2 rounds)

Mosey back down the levee and circle up.

COP #3: 6MOM

15x LBTs IC
15x Flutter Kicks IC
15x LBCs IC
15x Hello Dolly IC
….Flapjack….
15x Superman IC
15x Rocketman IC
….Flapjack….
15x Crunchy Frog IC
15x Scissors IC
….Flapjack….
Plankorama: High, Low, High, Right Side, Right Side Reaches x 10IC, High, Left Side, Left Side Reaches x 10IC, Back, Back Jacks x10IC (don’t do these again), High

Mosey back to the top of the levee.

OYO: Quadraphilia

Run down the levee, then back petal up the levee… repeat, repeat, etc… for 3 minutes.

Back to the VSF, where we held the COT – countoff, namorama, shoutouts, and prayer. Thanks for letting me lead.

Moleskin

Tclaps to Kim Chi for hitting 40 straight post. He was ready to Q today if YHC didn’t show. He spilled his potential beatdown (fourties – like elevens, but with fourty total reps each time) to celebrate his achievement. Pax was grateful YHC didn’t fartsack!

Basin Run is tonight. Message on the Groupme for details.

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February 16, 2017
610 Stomp #78

“You either get better, or you get worse… you never stay the same” – Professional Athlete / Coach

A Pax of eight (7 men & 1 K9) met around….nothing…. where are the Shovel Flags?!? Does the Uptown Pax use them for picnic blankets or warming cuddlers (e.g. Snuggies) at their AOs?

It would make sense due to colder temps we are experiencing this Wintummer.

I’m off topic…apologies… let’s get to it, but first….DISCLAIMER….

The Thang

Typical bayou route, but turn around after 10 minutes. Stop every 6 min for a round of Merkins. I believe the whole Pax made it to bridge on Bayou St John to turn around (Tclaps). After the run, the Merk count was 90 (3 sets x 30 Merks).

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, and we need to look good for our ladies, YHC explained the 2/14 routine, which was 2 burpees / 14 merkins. We did a round of this at the track entrance to bring our Merk count to 104. Quick mosey over to the track.

Sprint Work: Pax sprinted 100 meters, performed the 2/14 routine, walked 50 meters, moseyed 50 meters, repeat. We did 3 laps, which equals 6 rounds; and it brought our merk count up to 188.

COP #1: 6MOM

20x Lazy Boys IC
15x Putins IC
15x Lazy Boys w/ Arm Raises IC
15x Lazy Boys w/ Arm Raises & Knee Curls IC
8x R. Leg Curls & Raises IC
8x L. Leg Curls & Raises IC

Pax believe YHC makes this stuff up…sometimes… but in reality, the credit has to go to Shaun T. Either way, it sucks….and that’s the point!

Back to the track. We did a 40 Merks / 4 Lap Challenge for the remaining 10 min. Pax completed this easily. Merk count to 228.

Since we had a VSF, we gathered at the track entrance due to time, where we held the COT, which included Countoff, Nameorama, and Prayer (for the sick, families of the sick, and for all to respect one another.)

Moleskin

The Pax at the Stomp definitely got better today! They were flying through the park and around the track. The track team even raised an eyebrow or two this gloom! Best of all, Cowbell was sucking wind:

Kim Chi is still raising the bar for most consecutive post in 2017. I believe he surpassed 40! To some, that may be respectable, but what’s better than 40 you say?? Yes, it is in fact 50! I mean, you don’t get “respect” until you’re in the 50 and older club.

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February 14, 2017
Challenge Accepted!

“Don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.” – Someone

Fog…again…New Orleans weather at its finest. 13 men were able to find their way to the virtual Shovel Flag at Rock City, including Squeegee (FNG). Welcome brother!

Time to get better today…but first…

DISCLAIMER

The Thang

Mosey over to the rock pile (Hawg zoomed past us in the other direction, where does he come from out here in Pontiff?) and circle up around a grassy patch.

COP #1: Hold that Warmup!

YHC started off with explaining a Youtube video I watch about 300 Merks in 30 days…so that’s what we will start with.

10x Merkins IC
30 sec x Low Plank… Mumble Chatter from the Pax started. Things like, “Yeah, but it’s a lot of push exercises, and no pull” & “Shorty, that video is so old” & “Great…is he going to do 300 merks in the warmup?”
10x Merkins IC
30 sec x Low Plank
10x Merkins IC
30 sec x Low Plank …by this time, Pax was like “Shit, he is doing 300 merks!” & “But Shorty, we have an FNG with us!” & “Get it!!!” (Cowbell’s motto)

But I am not cruel… we stopped here for a total of 60/300 merks. But cruel would come next:

15x Low Slow Squats IC
10x Low Squat Pulses IC
20 sec x Low Squat Holds
10x Low Squat Pulses IC
20 sec x Low Squat Holds…. midwife noises #Lex
10x Low Squat Pulses IC
20 sec x Low Squat Holds… remember, Shorty loves you! #toughlove

Ouch! Time to grab a friend (aka rock). Go heavy… but Hawg put a new meaning to heavy as usual:

Mosey over to the only hill in Metairie and line up at the bottom.

OYO: Elevens (Jump Presses / Merks)

Start with 1 x Jump Presses with your friend, then run over the hill to the other side con friend, and do 10 x Merks. Run back over to the start con friend. Increase Jump Presses by 1 rep & decrease Merkins by 1 rep each set until the reps flapjack. Plank and wait for the six.

Merk count 115/300 for those who care. Cowbell got some lagniappe reps in with the planks.

Leave our friends and circle up over to the side.

COP #2: Balance

15x Low Slow Single Leg Squats IC (Right) IC
15x Low Slow Single Leg Squats IC (Left) IC

Go grab your friends, and mosey over to the playground/track area and drop your friends by the fence. Pax split up into three groups:

Group 1: Run a lap on the track. 5x Burpees at the half way point. (Timer)
Group 2: Rock throws over the fence. Group stays on one side of the fence until all the Pax’s friends are on the other side. We didn’t want any friendly fire accidents.
Group 3: 2x Pullups / 5x Merkins. Rinse/repeat/rinse/repeat…etc.

Groups rotate once Group 1 is back. Could only get through this one time due to time. Not sure how many each Pax got through on Group 3, but YHC got through 6 sets. Merk count is 145/300.

Grab your friends and mosey back to drop them off. Mosey over to another grass patch for some Mary.

COP #3: Plank work

10x Merkins IC
30 sec x Low Plank
10 sec x Side Plank (L)
10x Side Plank Reach Unders IC
10 sec x Side Plank (R)
10x Side Plank Reach Unders IC
30 sec x Low Plank

Merk count is 165/300. Mosey back to the flag, where we held the COT. Thanks for letting me lead!

Moleskin

The 300 Merks for 30 day Challege is a great way to increase strength in exercises we do at F3. Not only does it help with Merkins, it also helps you focus more on core and pullups. To the Pax who posted at Rock City, you only need 135 more Merks to get your number for today!

Kim Chi keeps his posting streak red hot for 2017. All I can say is:

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February 6, 2017
Supersets

“The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender” – Anonymous

Finally, the feeling of winter has returned! One thing about the Uptowner is that it is not in view of any parking lots. Due to this, you can find the Pax gathering around the flag in all sorts of ways: Bogey inspecting the Pontiff pump system, Kim Chi standing and waiting at the flag (maybe he sleeps at the AO the night before to ensure he doesn’t miss a beatdown), Hawg appears out of no where, Tool runs up right on time from the running track…..The possibilities are endless! Our Pax of 8 finally gathered around the flag, so let’s start with the:

DISCLAIMER

The Thang

and we Mosey….wait, we never mosey here….nevermind,,, let’s grab some friends, one large rock (aka Gibraltar) and one small rock (aka Cowbell, because duh). Gibraltar should be of size that you can lift about 8ish times and Cowbell should be of size that you can lift about 20ish times. And no, the Pax did not hold up the real Cowbell like Trump held up Hillary:

Anyway, Pax circled back up and we started with Cowbell in hand.

25x Rock Jacks IC
20x Rock Marches IC
20x Rock High Knees IC

Good warmup, now for the supersets.

Superset 1: Chest x 4 rounds
8x Bench Press (Gibraltar)
12x Merkins (Bodyweight)

Let’s recover with Cowbell.
15x High Shelf (R)
15x High Shelf (L)

Superset 2: Legs x 4 rounds… JV joined us here around round 2
8x Squats (Gibraltar)
12x Jump Squats (Cowbell)

Recover with Cowbell.
20x Kettle Bell Swings

Superset 3: Shoulders x 4 rounds
8x Standing Rock Presses (Gibraltar)
Bear Crawl 15 yds, Jameis Winstons back 15 yds.

Recover with 6MOM:
10x Crunchy Frogs IC (w/ Cowbell)
10x Putins IC (w/ Cowbell)
10x Hip Flexor Curls IC (R)
10x Hip Flexor Curls IC (L)

Superset 4: Legs x 4 rounds
8x Calf Raises (Gibraltar)
5x Single Leg Calf Raises – each side (Gibraltar)
12x Jump Lunges (Cowbell)

Tclaps for Bogey calling out that the Pax needs to work on balance during the single leg calf raises, so we did.

Balance COP:
8x Single Leg Squats (Cowbell) – Right
8x Single Leg Squats (Cowbell) – Left
8x Single Leg Table Tops – Right
8x Single Leg Table Tops – Left
10x Chair-to-Alt Lunge Holds

Drop off friends and circle back up for the COT. Thanks for letting me lead.

Moleskin

RY has the Q tomorrow. Gonna be a good one.

Kim Chi is still perfect in 2017. I believe his total is 23 for 23 as of today. Keep it up man!

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January 27, 2017