F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • Hold Your Breath for the Blackblast – from Sea Man

    After weeks of intense beat downs at the Zissou searching for the man eating Jaguar Shark of Lake Ponchetrain the krewe needed a little rest to focus for the arduous tasks ahead. Because when we find the Jaguar Shark we are going to kill it and then we are going to eat it!

    Nothing breaks up the monotony of life at sea, than a good game of shuffle board. At the Zissou our pucks are 10lbs dumb bells. A player takes the puck, they swim underwater on one breath as far as they can. When they have ran out of breath they drop the puck, return to the surface, and complete the lap. Their partner then swims to the puck, dives to the puck and continues the process. While one team member advances the puck, the other alternated between 5 Mericans and 10 LBCs. Goal is to get more “Puck” laps than their opponents.

    Following the rousing game of Shuffle Board the krewe sought out the traditional past time of playing catch. To prep our throwing arms we began with a ring of fire. Hard but not impossible, water does burn. Reference the Cuyahgoa River Fire of 1969 (http://ohiohistorycentral.org/w/Cuyahoga_River_Fire). We began treading water in the deep end as we passed a 5 lbs kettle bell around. With the bell we did 10 arm lifts on one arm and passed it around. When it returned to us we did 10 on the other. So much fun we had to do it a second time to insure limberness of the krewe.

    Catch continued in the deep end but we replaced the kettlebell with a medicine ball. A good time ensued as we passed the ball to and fro. It soon got out of control as the game morphed into rapid fire hot potato and then into weak arm throwing of the ball.

    Nearing exhaustion we circle up for the COT. Soon we will catch the man eating jaguar shark of lake Ponchetrain and avenge our friend’s death!

  • No legs workout for the runners and cyclists among us – from Amnesia

    Warmup:
    20 x SSH, MC, IW, Peter Parkers, Windmills – all IC.

    The Thang:
    EMOM – first minute, 5 reps of merkin variant; next minute, 15-25 reps of other upper body exercise, all OYO. Next round, increase merkin variant reps by 5. Got through two rounds and started the third before YHC noticed we wouldn’t have enough time. Good thing, too. YHC wouldn’t have made it through round 3, but don’t tell any of the PAX that attended!

    Merkin variants: vanilla, diamond, clerpin, derkin, Carolina Dry Dock, diamond derkin
    Others: first round was mostly overhead press w/coupon (with some chest presses thrown in there); second round was more consistent: 20 coupon curls. Third round was coupon chest presses. Since only one merkin variant was completed on round 3, the coupon chest press was rolled over to the 6MOM.

    6(ish)MOM:
    20 ab exercise reps IC alternated with 30 coupon chest presses OYO. Abs exercises were leg raises, flutterkicks, plank (chillcut, both sides, and reverse), dying cockroaches, Freddy Mercuries, and finished with crunchy frogs led by the man himself. No presses after last ab exercise.

    COT:
    Count-o-rama, Name-o-rama, announcements, intentions, and prayer. Happy 3 years to YHC!

  • Roasted Pig – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 80 with 88% Humidity. Heat Index of 85. Wind 4 mph from the SSW

    Pax: Rev Lifts, Mopster, Spouse o’ Science Weaver, It’s Just a Rash, Poolside, Annie Liebovitz, The Perfect Merk, Benthere Dunthat, and me, Hawg

    Warm-up: SSH x 31, IW x 20, DQ x 10, Peter Parker x 15, Grass Grabbers x 10, Parker Peter x 15, LSS x 14, Tempo Merks x 14

    The Thang: The guys clearly wanted to search for Plutonium. One look at this group and I knew there would be casualties…lots of them. But maybe we could find some less dangerous isotopes near the rock pile. In retrospect, I know, that sounds stupid. We did find three isotopes of Plutonium-9 at the rock pile. I didn’t know what would happen, but I knew there was only one way to find out. There were children present, there were old geezers present (whom I fully respect) and then there was HG and me who were still hurting from our last exposure. It might kill us all. It was too dangerous, but I couldn’t resist.
    The exposure lasted for all but 5 minutes of the workout. It burned me bad. I had to step away several times. I had to have several guys count to ten to make sure I didn’t go back in too soon. It was an embarrassing number of 10 counts, but my body was burned badly. Maybe it was for the best. We were clearly infiltrated by a German spy, but all of his pictures were of us standing around, protecting ourselves from more exposure.

    Mary: With about 4 minutes left, we circled up for some Mary. Rudy needed burpees and YHC agreed.
    • Burpees x 10
    • Dying Cockroach x 20
    • Burpees x 10
    • Flutter Kicks x 15
    A wise man once said that if you don’t do at least 50 burpees in a workout, you have failed as a Q. YHC failed in ohhhh so many ways today.

    Mosey back to the flag for COT

    After all was done, almost everyone made it back to their car. It was a stronger group than I thought. The child seemed to be doing the best of all. Rudy got to the top of the levee and could go no farther. I never got out of the park. I’m laying here on my back speaking text to Siri so that I can finish this BB. Thirty-five people have stepped over me to get to the track. I’ve had a dog defecate within 18 inches of my head. Rudy’s caterer is now on lap 56. The basketball ref that wears the jorts is about to start mowing. I pray he sees me. If I am here tomorrow when you all show up for the Wally Sprint, please move me to a safer place and tell my daughter that I am sorry I broke the phone stand she made for me. That was a bad omen. I should have heeded the warning.

  • The Ruck Suck, No Joy at the Joy – from Bolt

    YHC was thrilled he switched with Frac for today’s Q bc at 5:28 it looked like he would’ve been solo otherwise. True to NOLA roots 2 more PAX rolled in hot before the disclaimer while the fifth/final one, Papa Smurf joined during our first warm up exercise:

    Warmup IC: SSH (25x),arm circles forward/back, tclaps, seal claps, Moroccan night clubs, self love; Abe Vigodas, Toy soldiers, Hillbillies (15x), static hold Jamie stretch (center, R/L leg over leg)

    Mosey over levee with rucks plus Sweetness splayed out across Papa Smurf’s shoulders who would be his partner (sans ruck) for the suck.

    For time (20 min): add 5 reps to each exercise in the next round.
    * 5 x Burpees (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Squats (Ruck on Front or Back)
    * 5 x 4-Count Mountain Climbers (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Push-Ups (Ruck on Back)
    * 5 x Sit-Ups (Ruck on Front)
    * 5 x Ruck Curls

    Props to Kennah Brah for getting into the round of 30 reps!

    Mosey back over levee to flag for 4 min of Mary 45/15 tabata style)

    Close it out with all the trimmings. (COT)

  • Akbar meets Solo and Cindy Crawford on the Payne Train – from Akbar

    YHC arrived early this gloom for a Hero beatdown, and by 5:15 there was still 1. With Cowbell out of town, no late arrival was expected so it was time for some Solo work to honor 2 fallen soldiers.

    Corporal Randy Payne and Corporal Matt Dinning were killed together on April 22, 2006 in Afghanistan while conducting a Close Protection mission, when the Armored G-Wagon they were riding in was struck by a roadside bomb near the Gumbad platoon house.

    WU – 10 Slow high knees, then 10 fast IC
    10 Slow Butt Kicks, then 10 fast IC
    10 IW, Hillbillies, self-love, arm circles, toe touches

    THANG

    The Cindy: 5 pull ups, 10 merkins, 15 Squats. Complete 5 rounds, 300-meter run, then 4 round, 3 rounds… down to 1 for time.

    Finished at 24:36.

    MARY

    What’s a Cindy without the Crawford?

    20 LBC’s, 25 Calf Raises, 5 rounds, 4 rounds, etc to 1

    COT – Corporal Payne and Minning, their families, those who serve our country, and past fallen soldiers. Shooter, Cowbell, and BBQ on vacation.

    Announcements: Amnesia’s 3 year anniversary at Granny’s tomorrow.

    Till next gloom,

    Akbar

  • Uptown(er) Beat Down – from Bolt

    Warmup IC (to Rapper’s Delight): Windmills, SSH, arm circles forward/back, tclaps, seal claps, Moroccan night clubs, self love (all 20x); Toy soldiers, IW (15x)

    The Thang:
    Mosey to gym and grab some wall for a plank to the song Bodies Hit the Floor: plank>donkey kick title>merkin the count>plank between

    With moisture in our foreheads it was time to mosey to the rock pile and select medium rocks and three heavy ones.

    Rocks in pairs at stations lined up with each tree along the parking lot. 2 PAX doing 20 reps/exercise: chest press, overhead press, squats, triceps press, curls

    Return to pile and finish with 30 dying cockroaches before a mosey to flag for the standard closing.

  • Gnarly Hangover – from Zoolander

    Four veteran pax converged upon the Scramble this Thursday morning. Admittedly, none of us posted at the Gnarley Nutria, so we at least had an excuse to be well rested. We warmed up with 10 IC SSH, Toe touches, windmills, Apollo Ohnos, and 41 merkins OYO. Ran the normal route with minimal disruption from the deluge remnants that plagued Mandeville earlier in the week. Steve and Bushwacker carried the 12, while Shooter and YHC unabashedly represented the 6. Cooled down with a 4-exercise circuit on the playground equipment: pull ups, leg lifts, chest presses, and hyperextensions. Count, name, pray, out.

    Great to be with you fellas early in the morning. SYITG.

  • 1 year anniversary – from Jose10k

    Warm-up: ssh, grass grabbers, arm circles, windmills all reps of 15 in honor of my daughter turning 15 on Tuesday. The thang: moseyed to the courthouse for some dora. 100 merkins, 200 squats, 300 lbcs partner work. While one partner was performing each exercise, the second partner climbed the walkway rails hand over hand. Once finished, moseyed back to the parking garage entrance, then sprint up the inclines up to the top. Once at the top, Moby busted out the chain. We gathered in a line and each man pulled the chain across the parking garage. Last 5 minutes, busted out some mary. Leg raises, crunchy frogs, etc.. COT and Shooter prayed us out. BBQ busted out some birthday brownies along with some party poppers. Thanks to his wife for the tasty treats.
    Thanks for letting me lead, thanks for celebrating 1 year at the A1C, and thanks for the support for creating the AO. Y’all push me to be better.

  • Keep Your Eye on the Ball – from TurboTax

    The Gipper PAX turned out strong this morning with nary a concern about tonight’s rendezvous with the Gnarly Nutria. After a warmup of SSHs, mountain climbers, seal jacks, Peter Parkers, IWs, Parker Peters, toe touches and Merkins, we headed over to the Justice Center for an animal parade. Crab walks, ostrich walks, bear crawls, gorilla walks, and frog jumps down the alley and then a short mosey to the opposite side of the JC for a series of passing games. Keeping it light to keep the legs fresh for those making the trek to compete in the GN but still competitive enough to make a nice downpainment on the day for the others, we worked together as a team to keep the ball moving and paid the price in penalty exercises when our teamwork broke down. Back at the Shovel Flag, Moby prayed us out. Thanks for letting me lead guys.

  • Finding Plutonium – from Hawgcycle

    Conditions: 76 degrees, Humidity 83%, Wind 6 MPH from the SSW. Sunrise 0613.

    Pax: Ole Crooked Letter and Me.

    Warm-up: SSH x 31, IW x 20, DQ x 10, Peter Parker x 15, LSS x 15, Parker Peter x 15, Grass
    Grabbers x 10 (we didn’t clap because we aren’t 4th grade school girls at recess), Arm Circles (Forward x 15, Backerds x 15)

    The Thang:

    I knew the numbers would be low at El Diablo today. Too many Puddins thinking they need to rest up for the Gnarly Nutria. So I figured today would be a good day to experiment. Last night I came up with an idea. What if I take two simple exercises and combine them in a way that’s never been done before. Would the results be explosive, like throwing a chuck of sodium into a tub of water?

    In actuality, what happened during the 10 minutes after the warm-up was both fantastic and horrifying. It’s as if Hand Grenada and I stumbled upon nuclear fission. It came close to killing us, but we think we survived…we will see what happens later today. We aren’t sure what to do with our invention. Do we share it with the world? It could be the greatest thing that ever happened to F3. But what if it falls into the wrong hands? Can you imagine what would happen if some deranged sadist like Catfish or Jingle Vader got a hold of this? Or worse yet, some bumbling fool like Rudy tries to use it. And please help us if the LVCC sniffs it….imagine that scene in 2001: A Space Odyssey with the monkeys and the monolith. That could destroy F3. For now, Hand Grenada and I have determined that we should not give this information to anyone. It’s too dangerous. This exercise shall remain classified.

    After aforementioned explosion, we moseyed to the rock pile where for some 3-6-3 exercises……3 super slow counts, 6 regular cadence counts, ending with 3 super slow counts.
    • Squats sin roca
    • Shoulder Presses
    • Squats con roca
    • Merkins

    Then to the playground for a round 3-6-3 pull-ups

    Then to the wall for a round of 3-6-3 shoulder taps with the left hand and a round with the right hand.

    Back to the VF for some stretches (triceps, chest, hamstrings) and COT

    NMM:
    • Triple Shift has been on me because all I do is run. Every time I see him it’s the same question…”So…. Are you lifting any or just running?” I hear ya Triple. So, taking his encouraging words to heart, I thought today would be a good opportunity to get in some strength training. After the exercise that I can’t talk about, my arms will probably be permanently jacked. I may never have to work them out again. Only time will tell, but this may have solved my problem.
    • I am worried about Hand Grenada. His arms were already pretty jacked. We may have over done it for him. Can you imagine if Gabby had been at this workout? He would never find a shirt with sleeves large enough. All of his suits would get the Belichick treatment. Could he walk into board meetings at GNO, Inc. with his sleeves cut off? See why I can’t share this workout…..man I hope Hand Grenada is okay. If he survives, it will probably help him. He’s in medical sales. I’ve seen the women that go into pharmaceutical sales. The men are definitely at a disadvantage. Looking like a Chippendales dancer will probably help him out.
    • The 3-6-3 workout is a reminder of the Glory Days of the Gnarly Nutria. It was introduced at the Birdcage a week after the World beat Uptown 363-360 at the second annual GN. #NeverForget. The humiliation the Uptown felt doing that workout also lead to a 2nd World victory at GN III. But it’s been dark times for the World ever since the Northshore got too big for their britches and decided to go it alone. Here’s to a return to the glory days.