F3 New Orleans

Author: Rudy

  • HIMs Go Back to School – from Fracsac

    4 Pax made a choice to take the DRP on their journey to get right and posted to The OG on the Best Bank! War Eagle, Hokie, Shortbus and YHC were ready! With a shovel flag planted, disclaimer was given, then:

    Warmup :

    Typical stuff, including a little dancing with MNC!!

    Hit the parking lot wall for:

    Jackass Burpee Webbs

    It’s like a Jack Webb, but with 1 burpee, 2 donkey kicks, 2 burpees, 4 donkey kicks and so on.

    You may think it’s the burpees that get you, and you’d be wrong!

    Back to the main area for some schooling, Billy Madison style.
    Run a lap, do 12 Merkins – that’s 1st grade
    Run a lap, do 12 Merkins and 12 LBCs – that’s 2nd grade.
    Keep the stack going with more horrible exercises. We made it to our Junior year, and then ended with our 12 burpees required to get our diploma. We’re HIMs!!!!

    COT

    Great stuff!

    SYITG

  • BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! – from Fast Tax

    Okay…so it’s been a few days since YHC Q’ed Rock City but a late backblast is better than no backblast.
    Twas the morning after All Hallows Eve as six brave souls ventured forth to work off their treats from the night before.

    After disclaimer, we headed near the rock pile for warmups.
    Warmups consisted of:
    o Grass Grabbers IC 10
    o Abe Vigodas X 12 IC
    o Happy Jacks X 4 Sets IC
    o Forward and Reverse Arm Circles
    o Swan Dives

    Sufficiently warmed, we headed to the rock pile, grabbed large rocks (most of us) and headed to the field.

    The first event was Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum – of course. We lined up and, trying not to hit each other and incur 20 burpees, we threw our rocks as far as we could, broad jumped then lunged the remaining distance to the rock. Rinse and repeat until we hit the fence.

    Next, we traversed to the track for a lap or two of Catch Me If You Can. Dragon walk was the third exercise beginning at the 50yd line and ending at the goalpost.

    Having dispensed with the preliminaries, it was time to head to the darkened tennis courts for the main event.

    Blind Man’s Dodgeball:
    The original setup, which I must admit was mostly taken from Rev Sox’s Q, went something like this:
    Two Pax were on opposite sides of a half-court with rest in between. When a Pax got hit, he would step off and do the exercise following the one the previous PAX did from the following list: 8 Pull-ups, 8 Burpees, 8 Bodybuilders, 8 BBS. Then he would return and take over as a ball thrower.

    Admittedly, the rules evolved somewhat as YHC learned that one half court was waaayyyy too small, but using half of two courts with throwers on each end was too boring due to it still being relatively dark and hard to see. The best configuration was keeping the throwers restricted to the green area of the court while rest of Pax had to stay on the red areas (partial credit to Rudy).

    At 6:15 it was back to the rock pile and a quick mosey to the flag for COT.
    Coffeteria at PJs followed.
    Thanks for the fellowship!
    SYITG

  • Let’s Travel! – from War Eagle

    It has been standard practice for YHC to take the PAX to new places when Qing on the Wank. Old Gretna is packed full of the best opportunities: levees, steps, parking garages, rock piles, parking lots, walls, prisons, and more!

    Today’s opportunity had us travel down Huey P Long Ave…

    WARM-UP

    Slow Mosey with high-knees, butt kicks, karaoke
    Abe Vigoda X 10
    Grassgrabbers X 10
    Peter Parker X 15
    Shoulder Taps X 15
    Overhead Claps X15
    Seal Claps X 15
    Mini Motivator starting with 7

    THE THANG

    We traveled down to the Huey P Long Mall (apparently there are beautiful lights here around Christmas)

    Utilizing the light polls, the Pax lined up for Route 66:

    1 Merkin, 1 Squat, 1 Big Boi
    2 Merkins, 2 Squats, 2 Big Bois
    Continued to 11.

    Now for the return:

    1 – 12-Count Body Builder (Burpee with merkin, plank jack, and shoulder tap)
    2 – 12-Count Body Builders
    Continued to 11

    Mosey back toward the flag

    But wait! Take a seat on the wall with air presses

    Mosey Back to the Flag

    But wait! Take a seat on the Jefferson Arch with air presses

    Back to the flag… for 10 burpees

    COT

    Prayers for contractor injured at Ridge Rat’s house.
    Silent intentions
    Prayers of Gratitude (YHC submitted his PhD proposal and M’s pregnancy is progressing great)

  • Muhammad Jenga – from Hogs Breath

    So YHC was wide awake at 0300, wide awake… No excuse not to post on a cool autumn Friday.
    So after a trip to the coffee pot, and a quick check of the Q list, YHC saw “A1C Needs a Q”
    Always at the ready I grabbed the giant F3 Jenga and made way towards the 22nd Judicial Court parking garage [A1C]. Arriving at precisely 0515 with my fuel gauge so low the needle was ready to break off.
    Jose 10k, BBQ, and Aikbar steadfastly waited for my amazing arrival, mustache and all!
    “Anyone have the Q?….Alright I got this!” I declared.

    Warm Up:
    20 SSH ic
    10 Mummy kicks ic
    10 Good Mornings ic [with lots of Dad groans]

    We then did a Muhammad mountain mosey to the start of the parking spaces; Mosey forward 3 spaces, and backpeddle 2 spaces; lather, rinse and repeat till we made our way across the entire garage floor. At the far side of the parking garage we did a Muhammad mountain bear crawl; three spaces bear crawl forward and two spaces backpedal.

    The thing

    This is where the giant outdoor Jenga took place. After assembly in the middle of the A1C garage YHC went over the rules

    Much like Jenga each pax would move forward and remove a block. Only One block could be removed, or touched, at a time. The block was then placed on top of the tower and pax would preform the exercise listed, it was dealers choice if OYO or IC. YHC also gave the stipulation if the tower fell, then the person who removed the block and the pax to the left would preform burpee’s until the other pax rebuild the tower.

    Who knew that grown men could have so much fun at Jenga? The suspense built as the tower also was built in height. The tower developed a northern lean as we built it up. There were many surprising moves “he won’t get that block out!!!! Oh crap he did!”
    “It’s the game where everyone wins!” Said Hogs Breath
    “Hey don’t make me do burpee’s” dryly replied Jose 10k

    The tower ended up growing to 19 stories. Since this jenga set had both a combination of Fia/F3 names there were differences in lexicon and ex icon terminology
    “What is a curtsy lunge?” And “what are leg levers [leg raises]?” Pax did their best to interpret and adjust on the fly. There were several blank blocks which became dealers choice, which meant merkins.

    On the 19th tower level, Hogs breath removed a block “jump squats” and place it on top of the ‘north leaning tower of Covington’. Jose 10k took several steps back so his massive earth shattering jumps would not impact the tower. But it was to no avail, around the fourth or fifth iteration, at precisely 0556, the tower’s lean became to much and came crashing down. BBQ and Hog’s Breath began burpee’s while Jose and Aikbar listened to confusing mumblechatter of rebuilding the tower, or putting it away, then rebuilding, finally deciding to clean up the blocks and place them away.

    One more round of Muhammad mosey, three forward, two backpedal to round out this a.m.’s beatdown.

    Ended with Count-o-Rama, Name-o-Rama, and COT

  • Trick and Treat at the Renni – from Fracsac

    5 Pax at the Renaissance for a Halloween themed fun fest. YHC arrived early to set up. As the Pax arrived in the cool 57 degrees low humidity gloom, they were greeted by a T-Rex. You may be thinking prehistoric meat eater T-Rex, but nay, this was the lovable inflatable T-Rex that was far closer to the likes of Barney, just not as purple.
    As YHC looked closer in the gloom, he noticed a luchador Heisenberg lurking in the shadows quietly knocking out 8 count Body builders. Surge, Triple Shift and Catfish rounded out the 5.

    After giving a brief disclaimer, YHC heard the Pax ask how the Q intended to lead a beat down wearing an inflatable party favor. After a short wrestle with said inflatable, YHC managed to remove it at which time the Pax were amazed at what they saw! Underneath that lovable bag of hot air was Kylo Q, the Dark Jedi.

    Face the bacon for the warmup. Attend the Renaissance and you’ll understand….

    We did warmup stuff, then YHC asked what Halloween was all about? Trick or Treat of course!

    The Thang

    YHC had a trick bag and two treat bags. Picking up the trick bag, as tricks always come first, a pax was asked to pull from it. First draw was:

    Candy Corn Run – People’s Run with last man dropping for 3 burpees and sprint to front. Go around NOMA until all pax get a turn.

    Second draw:

    Ghost bustin’ – Played the Ghost Busters song where the pax did a burpee every time “Ghost Busters” was said, and plank jacks during the “I ain’t afraid of no ghosts” part.

    Third Draw – Jack o lantern Web. Ok, so it’s a Jack Webb. To enter the psychological thriller territory, we passed up 10 and did 11 and 22.

    Now onto the Treats! Pax chose a treat bag. First bag was a soccer ball. Head to field where cones are set up. Since Triple Shift took a pumpkin to the face at El Diablo, YHC decided to remove kicking from this game. It was more ultimate frisbee rules with a soccer ball. Dropping the ball or scoring results in 3 x 8 count Body builders.

    Onto the next treat bag! A football! Two hand touch with 4 downs to get to end zone. Rushing the QB allowed after count to 5. Both teams scored so more 8 count Body builders!

    Head to back of NOMA for Sunday Mornings x 5. YHC put on some Halloween music. Surge asks, “No Thriller?” With that Thriller was played.

    Head back to flag. One minute remaining, so 8 count Body builders IC x 15.

    COT

    Thanks for joining me and having some fun on Halloween.

    Coffeteria at PJs Metry Road.

    SYITG

  • The Rocky Run – from Baywatch

    Conditions were cool and excellent for an early morning Friday beatdown. With pleasantries exchanged and a disclaimer given, we moseyed over to the rock pile for a warmup.

    Warmup (IC):

    SSH 20x
    Hillbillies 20x
    Stormtroopers 20x
    Peter Parkers 15x
    Parker Peters 15x
    Arm Circles F/B 15x

    Now the fun part…everyone grabbed a rock (well, except for Rougarou. He grabbed a pebble.) and we headed over to the track.

    The name of the game was 4-corners. We did 4 laps around the track, carrying our rocks, and stopping at each corner for some fun.

    Corner 1–25 curls & 25 flutter kicks (FK)
    Corner 2–25 overhead presses & 25 FK
    Corner 3–25 bent over rows & 25 FK
    Corner 4–25 squats & 25 FK

    After 4 laps we all finished right at the buzzer with Bogey and Vagabond leading the way. We dropped our rocks off (and one pebble) and headed back to the flag to close it out.

  • F3 Justice – from Kuch

    F3 Regional Court – View District

    In the View District Court of F3 New Orleans

    ————————————————————–
    F3 Nola,
    Petitioner,
    v.
    Jeffrey “Kuch” Green
    Respondent
    ———————————————————-

    Kenner (America’s City), USA

    Friday, Oct. 29th, 2021

    APPEARANCES:

    The Honorable Boudreaux T. Hawgcycle, III, Pontiff, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Fracsac, The View, F3 NOLA; on behalf of the Petitioner.
    Jefferey “Kuch” Green; LVCCC, F3 NOLA; the Respondent.
    Mambi, Hokie, Mahatma, Bear, Kennah Bruh, War Eagle, Bolt, Triple Shift as witnesses

    DISCLAIMER AND WARM-UP
    (5:30 AM)

    PROCEEDINGS
    (5:35 AM)

    Judge Hawgcycle: We will hear the argument in case 21-003, F3 NOLA vs. Jeffery “Kuch” Green. Mr. Kuch, allegations have been brought forth that you are a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, no good, Yankee lawyer. These are serious allegations and will be discussed at length throughout this morning’s trial. In keeping with a tradition of the court we will open this session with 15 burpees on your own. Proceed.
    The courtroom does 15 burpees. Bailiff Fracsac ensures that burpees end with a clap, adhering to courtroom regulations.

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the first allegation against Mr. Kuch. It has been discovered that in early 2018, Mr. Kuch visited a Yankee website to look up exercise names. After visiting said website, he proceeded to name running up a levee backwards “The Bernie Sanders.” The court contends that Mr. Kuch had no authority in naming this exercise. Let the records show that as early as 2016 this exercise, commonly performed at the City Park District AO Okwata, had been referred to by the name “Quadraphilia,” by the good men of F3 NOLA. If it pleases the court (and it does) everyone will now participate in a round of Quadraphilia. By definition this exercise will last 4 minutes.

    The Court did a round of Quadraphilia

    Judge Hawgcycle: I submit the second allegation against Mr. Kuch. It appears Mr. Kuch has started a non-F3 workout with only F3 participants. This is the bi-weekly Broga workout occurring in the City Partk District of F3 NOLA. This is an unsanctioned workout, but because of the F3 only participation, it has caused a great deal of confusion in the greater community. Article I of the Core Principles is clearly broken. The workout is not free. Adherence to Article IV of the Core Principals is questionable at best. The workout is led by the same gentleman each time, Mark “Pretzel” Berger. Mr. Pretzel is an acquaintance of the Court and his F3ness is clearly in question. Now if it pleases the court (and it clearly does) I will lead the court in a round of F3 NOLA Style Yoga to provide an example of how one should properly pay for a beatdown….through pain.

    The Court did the following exercises:
    • Downward Dog Merkins x 20
    • Warrior I Bonnie Blairs x 5

    At this time the court yields the floor to the Respondent:

    MAY IT PLEASE THE COURT:

    Kuch: the charges against me are serious, and I apologize to this Honorable Court and the Metry contingent on hand for the following:

    • Any time one of your wives saw me in one of my super hot tank tops and accidentally called you Kuch during intimate conversations during the following week.
    • For all of those times you got home and didn’t have to throw your $100 pair of tennis shoes in the dryer or place them on the outside A/C unit.
    • For using the exicon in an attempt to bring more variety to workouts and to make them more interesting.
    • For giving you an opportunity to gain mobility and prevent injuries.
    • For giving you a safe place to wear your yoga pants.

    In my defense, I come before the Court with exercises I believe will please Sheriff Frac Sac.
    The thang: 9 minute ascending EMOM burpee pyramid starting at 6 burpees and going through 14. On the dark side of the levee with visibility low, appropriate tunes were selected: Metallica’s “One” on repeat throughout the 9 minutes. Mumblechatter ensued. T-claps to the 4 people who got every single burpee. It was dark, but I recall Triple Shift, Sheriff Frac, The Hon. Hawgcycle, and one more (maybe Mahatma?)

    I reserve the remainder of my time for rebuttal:

    THE MORE SERIOUS ALLEGATIONS

    Judge Hawgcycle: It is the understanding of this court that Mr. Kuch has manipulated dozens of men in the greater New Orleans area using aggressive, psychological techniques. Through his manipulation he has convinced them to leave their comfortable, yet joyless lives, and follow him in the Gloom of F3 NOLA. Mr. Kuch’s aggressive behavior does not stop there. He constantly terrorizes men, texting them each evening to pressure them into posting in the Gloom. He is known to arrive in their driveway, yanking them from the comforts of their home and taking them to that morning’s workout. There have been allegations that he has an organized a car pool ring, known only as the LVCC, that terrorizes the Lakeview Community every weekday morning. The court does not take these allegations lightly. If it pleases the court (and it obviously does) we will now participate in an exercise to prove how psychotic this man is. May I have a volunteer?

    Kennah-Bruh raised his hand

    6 cones(representing the men of this world) were set out about 10 yards apart along the bike path. Kennah-Bruh played the role of Kuch and it was his job to make sure each cone was standing. All other members of the court represented the Cares of the World and their job was to knock the cones down. After knocking a cone over, you run to the top of the levee, then you can come back and knock cones over again.

    We did this for about 4 minutes. Kennah-Bruh worked valiantly to keep the cones upright, but he was unable to do so. At this point Kennah-Bruh petitioned the court for assistance.

    Mambi joined Kennah-Bruh and over the next 3 minutes they worked together to keep the cones upright. They had better results, but many cones continued to be knocked down.

    Triple Shift petitioned the court to join Mambi and Kennah-Bruh. With three men monitoring 6 cones it was more difficult for the Cares of the World to knock cones down. It became clear by then end of the exercise that anything greater than a one-to-one ratio of Kuchs to cones would be optimal. The court rests upon the argument that this is the goal of Kuch, to create an army of men in Lakeview that are constantly protecting the well-being of others.

    IN MY FURTHER DEFENSE:

    I throw myself at the mercy of this Court and acknowledge the seriousness of the transgressions, especially the yoga. Who could have known when this all started that only months later, F3 men would be showing up to workouts in yoga pants and their newest Lululemon attire. I take no joy in the yoga-fying of f3 New Orleans, and again in my defense, I think most of the uptown guys already had a considerable amount of Lululemon athleticasual wear for all seasons. I suggest it could have been worse – I’ve never made a man wear Notre Dame shoes. I don’t get people’s feet wet when I Q. There is a lot respect for shoes in the LVCC. I’ve never asked a man to take a 12-hour stroll with a 30-pound backpack or run 100 miles through the damn woods. But still, in light of the charges against me, with my last act as champion of this AO, soon to deposed, I set my sights on one final goal.

    Now, some may say this goal is completely out of reach, like teaching the blind to see or the deaf to hear. I prefer to think of it as a “lifetime project,” something that we know will take many many eons to attain, but remains attainable, in theory at least, nonetheless. That goal: Bring a modicum of frisbee competency to Metry.

    The thang: Gather in a circle, 2 in the middle, guys in the circle pass the frisbee around, and everytime it hits the ground, 5 merks for everyone in the circle and 2 new people in the middle. There. Were. Many. Merkins. I lost count quickly. However, as time went on, we were able to string together some rallies, so I feel like we took an important step. We will see next time we all step on the field.

    In all seriousness, briefly: Thanks for having me fellas. Thanks for a truly unique and creative beatdown, Hawg. Thanks for the encouragement, and thanks for bearing with me for the stuff that did not work as well. Frisindian run…. Enjoyed spending some time with my Metry brothers. I will be back. Congrats to Hawg, truly a HIM.

    VERDICT:

    Court was adjourned around the flag of the United States of America. After instructions from the lead juror, Mr. Mambi, the jury quickly returned a unanimous guilty verdict on all counts. It is hereby proclaimed by this court that Mr. Kuch has been found guilty of being a slick talking, yoga posing, Bernie Sanders loving, Clown Car driving, Emotional Headlocking, Accountability Providing, Encouraging, High Impact Man and is hearby relieved of his duties as the Champion Q of F3 New Orleans and is sentenced to 6 months of Community Service in the Pontiff District teaching the most uncoordinated men in the F3 NOLA region the fundamentals of Frisbee.

  • Misty Mountain! 10-30-2021 – from Almonaster

    Pre-Halloween and Anniversary of my 1st Q!

    PAX:

    – Big Willie
    – King Kong
    – Willie
    – Jingle Vader
    – Almomaster

    Warmup:

    Mosey to Tulane breezeway by Freret

    Warmup:

    SSH – 10 IC
    Arm Circles -10 IC
    Reverse Arm Circles – 10 IC
    Imperial Walkers – 10 IC
    Balance on 1 foot for 10 seconds.
    Grass Grabbers – 10 IC
    Windmills – 10 IC
    Mountain Climbers – 10 IC

    The Thang:

    Mosey to the Grotto.

    Incline Merkins – 10 IC
    Right Leg Step-up – 10 IC
    Leg Lifts – 10 IC
    Take a Lap.

    Submarine Merkins – 10 IC
    Left leg Step-ups – 10 IC
    Flutter Kicks – 10 IC
    Take a lap.

    Dips – 10 IC
    Squats – 10 IC
    Box Cutters – 10 IC
    Hello Dolly’s – 10 IC
    Take a lap

    Mosey through Tulane Quad to see Game Day!

    Mosey to the Mountain

    Starting at first level platform to top Backpedal each ramp
    Merkins – 30 OYO (Decrease by 5 each level)
    LBC’s – 30 OYO (Decrease by 5 each level)
    Repeat each level up to 15 and then down. Skipped (10) due to time constraints.

    Back to flag!

    Thanks for the opportunity to lead!