F3 New Orleans

Author: Darkwing Duck

  • Sloppy Seconds Ain’t My Style

    Today is March 2nd, which means we’re nearing the end of the (sometimes) cold season here in New Orleans. For those of you keeping track, and I’m sure you all are, my attendance has been spotty over the past several months in what can only be described as F3 hibernation. I loathe below-50 degree weather and do my best to avoid it, especially if its also been raining. I know many people hate the humidity here, but I’ll take the heat any day.

    Now, given the Calvinist nature of the Q assignment, we (usually) don’t select our own Q-ings, but are predestined according to the (presumed) foreknowledge of the AO site coordinator. And as such, I’ve only “reported for duty” on days when the temperature was 50+, unless I was predestined for Q-ing in the cold (see 11/13/2019). But it seems that Rock City AO coordinator Mahatma, in his grace and mercy, saw fit to elect me to Q on March second, a day that had no cold and no sloppy ground – really a perfect weather day.

    So it began with warm-up exercises in the traditional Rock City warm-up area. It was the usual bag of tricks:

    SSH

    Abe Vigodas

    Imperial Walkers

    Grass Grabbers

    Peter Parkers

    Arm Circles

    All @ 26 each. There appeared to be some great letdown among the PAX that 26 had no significance other than having an equal number of forward and backward arm circles. Sorry for those that thought that I might be honoring P.J. Williams or celebrating my 26th birthday…

    Next up we gathered our rocks and headed to the football field, where we paced 10 yards for every exercise, from the goal line, in reps of 15, in cadence:

    Curls

    Tricep Extension

    Merkins

    Chest Press

    Shoulder Press

    We then partnered up for a dash from the 50 yard line to the goal line and back, while the alternating partner worked to complete the following:

    Burpees x 50

    World War II Sit-Ups x 100

    Squats x 150

    Flutter Kicks x 200

    Rows x 300

    Finally, we reversed our 10 yards/reps of 15/in cadence to the original goal line, finishing with just enough time to return our rocks and circle up. I have to say, given my F3 hibernation as of late, I’m definitely not in the same shape I was in November. So much so, that I was fading badly on the last set of tricep extensions and apparently lost the ability to count. Fortunately, Mahatma stepped in and picked up my slack continuing the cadence. It reminded me of that scene in Casino when Joe Pesci is all coked out near the end of the film, and he starts to beat a guy to death, but then doesn’t have the stamina to finish, so one of his henchmen takes over to finish the beatdown. Only without the coke. Or murder.

    In closing, we had no announcements, only prayers for those in our F3 community and those connected to it, giving thanks and glory to God.

    *The title of this post was a line uttered by Danny Zuko (John Travolta) in the movie Grease referring to…well, not muddy fields or March 2nd.

  • I Simply Must Go (Baby, Its Cold Outside)

    Not every man would wake up before 5am on what may be the coldest day of the year to stay on mission. Five PAX braved the early morning, pressing on towards the goal to win the prize (Phil 3:14). This is their story.

    We begin with a quick run over to the Gazebo in the center of the park for a warm up. Seems that the area in question is fenced off for the upcoming Christmas lighting display.

    Whoops.

    As I was saying, we begin with a quick run over to the Clock Tower near the road for a warm up.

    Warmup

    Side Straddle Hop x 10

    Peter Parker x 10

    Parker Peter x 10

    Smurf Jacks x 15

    Merkins x 10

    LBC x 20

    Bonnie Blairs x 10

    Mission I

    We began by alternating Bear Crawl (10 “steps”) and Lunge Walk (10 steps) across the soccer field to the running track. Upon completing the Bear Crawl/Lunge Walk, the PAX had a longer mosey on the outside running track to the West Napoleon exercise area. Along the way, we stopped to smell the roses (Roses = Burpees, Merkins, American Hammer, Big Boy Sit Ups).

    Mission II

    Once we arrived at the West Napoleon exercise area, the PAX were treated to alternating Pull Ups, Curls, Box Jumps, Big Boy Sit Ups and Chest Press (Curls & Chest press brought to you by cinder blocks liberated from behind the water pump wall at Pontiff). Three rounds on the circuit, pace set by Pull Ups, and a run back to the flag.

    Closing Ceremony

    Count Off, Name-o-rama, Announcements, Prayer Requests, Icy Ball O Man.

    In the end, did we break any new ground? In terms of creativity, not so much. But I’m proud to say each lionhearted man there today in 33° conditions earned the coveted John M. “Jack” Frost Award for Courage Under Cold Weather.

    Of course, the plaque for those “missing in action” today can be found in the Popeyes’s north side ladies room, right next to the feminine hygene products dispenser. Perhaps if you go in there to check it out, you’ll run into one of the handful of elderly ladies we saw on the track this morning while you were sleeping.

  • It Burns, Burns, Burns

    I suppose the morning began like any other summer day in NOLA. Which is to say 80+ degrees before the sun rises and the air felt like eating a hot cup of gumbo. In the sun. After a half marathon. But today being a high holy day on the F3 NOLA calendar, we were keenly alert. And sure enough, one of the four PAX who braved the punishing morning conditions at Popeyes spotted a Nutria emerging from the brush. Fortunately, since there was no sun, there was also no shadow to see, and as (nouveau) legend has it, we can all rest assured that we will NOT have six additional laps at the Gnarly Nutria this evening.

    Warm Up

    Long mosey, including a double parking lot weave, continuing to the grassy knoll (and by knoll, I actually mean a complete flat piece of ground) just west of the Giant Gazebo in the center of the park.

    Exercise x Reps
    SSH x 20
    Mountain Climbers x 20
    Imperial Walkers x 20
    Grass Grabbers x 20
    Arm Circles x 10/10
    Abe Vigotas x 20

    Short mosey to what the Popeyes faithful refer to as the “Clock of Death”.

    Hands of Time

    PAX on their 6, heads toward the center of the Clock of Death, legs up at 90 degrees, hands under your rear. Drop straightened legs to 10 degrees and hold as PAX counts off aloud in a circle pattern:

    Time x Rest (in Seconds)
    60 x 10
    60 x 10
    60 x 10
    40 x 10
    40 x 10
    40 x 10
    20 x 10
    20 x 10

    Ring of Fire

    PAX remains in the center of the Clock of Death. One set of exercises, followed by a run around the interior circle, continuing on to the next exercise. All exercises completed = one Ring of Fire.

    Exercise x Reps
    Merkins x 15
    Jump Squats x 15
    Big Boy Sit-ups x 15
    Monkey Humpers x 15
    Russian Twist x 15

    Unfortunately, time only allowed for 1.5 completions of the Ring of Fire, but no PAX was lacking for sweat, and every PAX appeared to be lacking for breath.  All in all, we clocked 2.42 miles…

    Mosey back to the flag
    COT
    Numberama
    Namearama
    Announcements
    Prayer

  • Jumpin’ Jack Flash

    (Belated Post from 7.12.2019)

    We worked out in a crossfire (almost) hurricane. The PAX howled in the drivin’ rain (sprinkle). But it’s all right now…

    Warm Up

    Micro mosey over to Grass Sticker Field.

    SSH x 20
    Mountain Climbers x 20
    Imperial Walkers x 20
    Grass Grabbers x 20
    LBCs x 20
    Self Love x 10

    Bear Crawlathon ‘19

    Mosey to the power station along the Uptowner track. The mission was to complete a Bear Crawl Indian Run back to the rock pile (wash, rinse, repeat for approx. 1/8 mile) including the following exercises:

    Merkins x 10
    Russian Twist x 10
    Shoulder Taps x 10
    Hello Dolly x 10
    Plank Jacks x 10

    Micro mosey back to the flag
    COT
    Numberama
    Namearama
    Announcements
    Prayer

    This being YHC’s very first Q, there was a desire not to disappoint. And judging by all of the grumbling, the beatdown at the Uptowner was an unqualified success.