F3 New Orleans

Author: Jingle Vader

  • Return of the Gloom

    No man has the right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable. Socrates

    Where has rosy-fingered dawn hidden herself today? With no answer and a longer than usual disclaimer for two FNGs, we moseyed into the gloom to The Thang. Though (perhaps because) no Ilium was in sight, the PAX began strong grieved and with glancing eyes.

    With wind still in its sails, the PAX began a swift First COP:
    25ICx SSH
    25ICx Hillbillies
    25ICx Peter Parkers

    With steady stars patient to fill all men with courage, the PAX fit itself with boulders to mosey for Second COP:
    20ICx Shoulder lifts (or bench press standing up)
    20ICx Curls
    20ICx Dead lifts
    20ICx toe to opposite overhead (10x each side)
    20ICx bench press (or should lifts on our sixes)
    20ICx Hello Dolly, Look at our Rocks (Hello Dollys holding our rocks over our stomachs the whole time)

    With blood warming, the PAX moseyed to some benches for Third COP:
    20ICx Tatum Channings (Left Leg Step Ups)
    20ICx Incline Merkins
    20ICx Channing Tatums (Right Left Step Ups)
    20ICx Dips

    Time for the assault on Troy. No tools for constructing a horse, the PAX must gird up to be swift of mind. After a mosey to the elysian fields, the PAX split in half and then paired up into twos (save Q) for OYO of passing rocks 20x with situps and then wheelbarrowing across the battlefield to where the other half had been, only to repeat and return. After a short respite, the PAX stormed the citadel and then retreated with haste: that is, egg toss to the fence, and then lunges back to start (note to self, lunges with rocks is a curse of Hades after about 50 feet).

    With quickness of breath and slowness of thighs, the PAX circled up in victory for Fourth COP:
    20IC x LBCs
    20IC x Hello Dolly
    20IC x Dying Cockroach
    20IC x Real Freddy Mercury
    20IC x Russian Twist

    Like Odysseus with his 10 years of battle and another 10 years of wandering, the PAX put down their arms and raced home. Kalimera, PAX

  • The Feb Club

    Because February is short damned short and the weather so iffy, you gotta do something to stop from going crazy. What about a different exercise for everyday? After a lame explanation and pre-thang disclaimer, we mosey to the Labyrinth.

    The Thang

    A long COP
    Feb 1st Exploding Stars x29IC
    Feb 2nd Rosalitas x29IC
    Feb 3rd [Pax got a brake because the Q couldn’t read (forgot) we were supposed to do Russian Twists]
    Feb 4th Box Cutters x29IC (or maybe it was x30IC because the Q can’t count)
    Feb 5th Dying Cockroachs x29IC
    Feb 6th LBCs x29IC
    Feb 7th, Sunday a day of rest: 7 burpees OYO
    Feb 8th Low Slow Squats x29IC
    Feb 9th, Mardi Gras: Goof Balls x29IC
    Feb 10th, Beginning of Lent: SSHs x40single
    Feb 11th Squat Jumps x29IC
    Feb 12th Monkey Humps x29IC
    Feb 13th Balance on one leg: about 29sec per leg
    Feb 14th, Sunday a day of rest: 7 burpees OYO
    Feb 15th Merkins x29IC
    Feb 16th Ventura Kisses (or Ryan Hugs) x29IC
    Feb 17th Diamond Merkins x29single
    Feb 18th Wide Merkins x29single
    Feb 19th Staggered right front merkins x15single
    Feb 20th Staggered left front merkins x14single (just because too much mubblechatter)
    Feb 21st, Sunday a day of rest: 7 burpeese OYO
    Feb 22nd Right Leg Step up (Channing Tatum?) x29IC
    Feb 23rd Dips x29IC
    Feb 24th Box Jumps in honor of Nip Tuck x16 (because your Q petered out; sorry we didn’t finish off the COP with another 13)
    Feb 25th Derkins x29single
    Feb 26th Left Leg Step up (Tatum Channing?) x29IC
    Feb 27th Incline Merkins x29single
    Feb 28th, Sunday the last day of rest for the month: 8 burpees OYO (so there’s one for each day)
    Feb 29th Plankorama: up (29sec), elbows (29sec), off left leg and right arm kinda (14.5sec), off right leg and left arm better (14.5sec), up (1min)

    Mosey back to the virtual flag (sorry: a real one was one my porch). After Namorama and old news, a short prayer of Thanksgiving to start a glorious day. Thanks PAX.

  • Two will do

    I thought Monday was lonely, but then there was this morning. Thanks, Tool, for not making me a PAX o’ one.
    A cool, crisp morning with not a single other person in sight. A ghost town in City Park, not a single car passed us along the Bayou. A steady if sluggish slog to Canal and back. Thanks, Tool, for holding back and hanging with a Q who’s slower than molasses. Running sux, so that’s why I do it. Tool did way more Burpees than the Q: about 20 to 1.
    But, hey, it’s Mardi Gras. Pass a good time.

  • Lonely Lundi Gras

    So where is everybody, and who’s our Q today?
    Don’t know; maybe, we’ll all have to pitch in.
    What time is it?
    Don’t know; lemme get a phone.
    Isn’t JV’s Q?
    What!!?? Oh yeah.

    With a bit of confusion, and confirming he is not a professional trainer, your Q led off with no prior plan. So…

    Some stretches IC: 20x SSH, 20x lunges, 20x IW and 20x Don Quixote.
    Find our friends to mosey midfield for first COP: 20x overhead press, 20x extensions from right toe to above left shoulder (Shorty’s got a good name, but I can’t remember it), 20x dead lifts, 20x extensions from left toe to right sky, 20x calf lifts.
    With some mumblechatter, we mosey to a wall for NO REST. People’s chair for about a minute (no watch); then seated for overhead lifts x20IC; then seated for curls x20IC; then another rest in people’s chair for about another minute.
    Shaking out the legs, we mosey to some picnic benches for a quick set of plank variations in IC: 20x inclined Merkins, 20x Channing Tatums (what Mr. Awesome calls right leg stepups), 10x derkins, 20x Tatum Channings (you got it, what Mr. Awesome calls left leg stepups), 20x dips.
    Mosey back to midfield for lineup for lunges to fence and back: the fence kept moving farther away (about 60 lunges to reach).
    Dead legs by the end. So time for some Mary IC. Bench press x20, flutter kicks x20, bench press x20, LBC x20, bench press x20, Putins x20, bench press x20.
    Return our friends to their weekly rest for another week while we mosey a bit quick to Ole Glory for namorama, intentions and prayer.

  • Three Men in a Tub

    While most of you were fartsacking, a few brave men–let’s call them the Butcher, the Baker and the Candlestick Maker–were ready to set sail amidst a few (as in bucketloads of) rain drops for the last downPAINment of the year.
    We started off with a mosey to a deadend by the golf club house because the Q couldn’t see through his glasses (it’s hell growing old). So after the detour, we headed off to the Bandstand for

    The Thang

    COP IC: SSHx30, Don Quixotex30, Imp Walkerx30
    Hop down to the steps for dips ICx30
    Mosey through the puddles to the mini foundry for two sets OYO of 25 inverted row, 25 derkins and 25 incline merkins.
    Mosey round the park to a clearing in the puddles amidst the ducks for a Circle of Mary IC: Peter Parkers x30, LBCs x30, Flutter Kicks x30, Parker Peters x30, Russian Twists x21, Box Cutters x21. [Maybe also something else the Q can’t recall from his waterlogged state.]
    Mosey back to the steps by the Bandstand for some ledge work IC: 20 right leg step ups (Tatum Channings?), 20 low slow dips, 20 left leg step ups (Channing Tatums??), 20 more derkins.
    Slow mosey to the lampposts for a few animal imitations: bear crawl from the first set of lamps to the second, inch worm to the third set, and backwards crab walk to the fourth.
    Mosey back to the flag (yes, a real flag) for nameorama, announcements, shoutouts (including for Splash’s trip to Vegas and JV’s partner’s dying mom) and a short prayer of thanksgiving.

  • Triumvirate

    A small but patient PAX led JV in his first 610 Stomp Q down to Banks Street and back: a bit slower than usual, but better for mubblechatter. No burpees en route or sprints a la Side Effects (except a short sprint at the end), just two moseys around Canal and at Orleans on the road home. The glorious weather deserved a simple end with 10 obligatory burpees.

  • Goodyear

    Gathered around Old Glory in the damned cold (47). Then after a lame disclaimer, off to The Thang.

    We first moseyed around until we came to the front of Tulane for a COP:
    30x IC SSH
    5 burpees
    20x IC lunges
    20x IC imperial walkers
    25x merkins
    25x plank jacks
    20x squats
    No one discerned a regular pattern, so we had to repeat–four more times. Moseyed to the corner of Calhoun for two sets of BLIMPS around the hill: 5 burpees at bottom, 10 lunges at top of the hill, 15 imperial walkers at side, 20 merkins at bottom, 25 plank jacks at top, 30 squats at side and back to start; repeat. After a fine countdown from 15 by Bad Moon, we moseyed to Wolf Mountain.

    Then moseyed to the top with a set of BLIMPS and another set of BLIMP without squats (one at each end of a floor). [Note to Qs: for BLIMPS on Wolf Pack Mountain, PAX can get in two sets if Q remembers to start with burpees at the start.]

    Short circle of mary with 32x IC LBCs, 24x IC Helly Dollys and 20x Russian Twists.

    Moseyed down the stairs and back to Old Glory, for Name-O-Rama, Announcements, Shout Out and Prayer, by which time it had warmed up one degree. But sky was clear, so we were in for a great day.

  • Museum tour

    A mild morning: nice day for a museum tour for JV’s first Saturday Q.
    To the great lawn (to pick up stragglers) for a short warm-up: 30x IC SSH, 29x IC Hill Billies, 15+15x IC arm circles. I think there was something else, but I can’t remember what it was.
    Mosey to the Lichtenstein pond in front of MOMA: 20x IC right-leg step-up, 20x IC incline merkin, 20x IC left-leg step-up, 20x IC decline merkin and 20x IC dips.
    Touring up and down the promenade: starting on the south side, run from lamp post to lamp post, with 1 squat jump at the first lamp post, then 2 at the second, then 3 … to 10 at the 10th lamp post. At a plank-up for the old Q, run back on the north side lamp post to lamp post, with 1 lunge at the first, then 2 at the second, then 3 … to 10 at 10th lamp post.
    Another set at the fountain: 20x IC incline merkin, 20x IC derkin and 6x IC ultra-slow dips (4 court down, 4 count hold, 4 count up).
    Repeat the promenade, but in declining order: 10 squat jumps at the first lamp, 9 at the second, … to 1 at the 10th; then switch sides to run back with 10 lunges at the first lamp, 9 at the second, … to 1 at the 10th.
    Slow mosey to the steps on right side of the museum to split into pairs: wheelbarrows up and down the stairs, while others wait in people’s chair. Then switch–Q plus 5 moseyed to the stairs on the other side to see the other metal work. But Q was unclear, so 4 stayed put, causing Q plus 5 to mosey back to the first set of stairs.
    Nothing to do but mosey back to the great lawn for a circle of mary: 25x IC LBC, 25x IC flutter kick, 25x IC dying cockroach, 25x IC hello dolly, 6x IC the REAL Dr. W (Side Effects: it’s 1 out, 2 close, 3 up, 4 open, 5 arms up and in, 6 arms out and down, 7 close, 8 down: no touching the ground). Sudden change for 15 burpees. Then close out with some plank work: on elbows for 3 minutes with 30 seconds or so up for left leg up and another 30 or so for right leg up (someone-Heisenberg?–was trying it with both legs up), then up on all fours for another 3 minutes or so.
    Finish out with a mosey to the virtual flag to close with a Prayer of Thanksgiving.

  • In the Fog

    A quiet affair, but with two FNGs. In honor of Columbus Day, I wanted some kind of swimming, but with no water in sight it was difficult. We had to make due with the wet fog hugging the cool grass, which felt great.
    The usual mosey to the rock pile: 20x side straddle hops; 20x imperial walkers; 20x merkins; 20x monkey humps; and 15x arm circles each direction. [I hope the gold retriever duo and their human are ok; we didn’t see them this morning.] Then pick up rocks and mosey on the grass in the fog for some Up and Down: 20x overhead lift; 10x merkins; 20x curls; 10x merkins; 20x squats; 10x merkins; 20x dead lift; 10x merkins. Then mosey to the hill (the closest I could find for an ocean) for some 11s: over the hill for burpees (10 to 1) and back for bench presses (1 to 10). I proposed 2 more sets, but time was ticking so off to the field for a Circle of Mary (the following order is a bit mixed up, hey, it was foggy out): 30 LBCs, 25 Hello Dolly, 25 Flutter Kicks, 25 Russian Twists, 10 Dr. Ws and a new routine from my 13 year-old nephew Jack; it needs a new name, but I’m calling it Cuban Sandwiches for now (as in you keep on pressing till it flat as all get out): on your 6s with your legs bent 90 degrees-ish in the air and with your head down, press hard on your thighs just above the knees for an 8 count, then lift up your head and press for another 8 count, then lift your butt off the ground and press for another 8 count, repeat cycle four (or, if you have more time, more) additional times (great for deep core). Deposit rocks and mosey back to the flag.
    [Late addition: I owe an apology to Tool: he was there, Mav was not. Mav, sorry, no credit for that morning.]

    Your humble Q, Jingle Vader (f/k/a Jazzy)

  • Prime Time

    With Venus shining bright and Orion’s Belt overhead, it was a Prime Time. Off to the Rock Pile. 29x side-straddle hop, 17x monkey hump, 23x imperial walkers; Hawg got the pattern, so I could I stop the math in the head. 20x Don Quixotes. Pick up pebbles or gibralters and mosey to the wall. 12x slow toe raises; prayer chair for a while; 12x curls in the chair, 12x overhead in the chair; balls to the wall, with a few attempts at push-ups (Side Effects, we got work to do). Mosey to the kiddie gym. 2x of 10 burpees, 10 squats with rocks, 10 push-pus and 10 lunges with rocks. Mosey to tree weave, then COP. 30x LBC, 20x dead lift, 30x Dying Cockroach, 20x curls, 30x Hello Dolly, some kind of balance on alternating elbows and toes, 20x merkens, 20x overheads, 30x Putins. Mosey or sprint to rock pile, and back to Old Glory.