F3 New Orleans

Author: Jingle Vader

  • Just Being HIMs

    It’s a start of a new year.  So just get at it.  A PAX of eight on this blustery morning, waves crashing onto the promenade.  After a brief disclaimer and a mosey around the fountain and across the street, The Thang:

    Warm Up:

    • SSHs 25xIC
    • Low Slow Squats 25xIC
    • Merkins 25xIC

    First COP: Route 66 along the planters with box jumps: one at the first planter, mosey back; two at the second, mosey back; etc. up to 11 box jumps at the 11th planter.

    Second COP: Mosey down aways for

    • Dips 20xIC
    • Half V-Ups 20xIC
    • Dips 20xIC
    • Dying Cockroachs 20xIC

    Third COP: Mosey to the bottom of the levee.  Then lunge walk to the top, 50 LBCs, duck walk back down, Bernie Sanders back up, 50 more LBCs; then mosey back to the flag.

    Circle of Mary:

    • Russian Twists 20xIC
    • Big Boy Sit-Ups 20xIC
    • Flutter Kicks 20xIC
    • Penguins 20xIC
    • Dr. W’s 10xIC

    Close it out with 12 burpees.  Then count off, name-o-rama, and COT.  Thanks.  Push me harder for this year; I could use it.  –JV

  • Old Guys Rule… at least when no young bucks are around

    Thanks to Woodstock, Green Screen and YHC, age won before beauty or youth. So with apologies to Brown Eye as our youngster for the day, here’s The Thang.

    Warm up
    SSHs 35xIC (changing cadence was tricky for some, but YHC persisted)
    Low Very Slow Squats 20xIC
    Hill Billies 20xIC
    Slate Grabbers 20xIC
    Plank Jacks 20xIC
    Parker Peters 20xIC
    Peter Parkers 20xIC
    Merkins 20xIC

    Short mosey to the side of the Museum, where the PAX split up with half doing a Tooth Fairy up the 14 steps (one merkin on the first step, two on the second, etc., to 14 merkins on the 14th step) while the other half sat in People’s Chair watching the day go by. [YHC is convinced that the other half of the PAX was purposefully, and vindictively, slow on their round of Tooth Fairy.]

    Short mosey to the other side of the Museum, where the PAX again split up with half doing a reverse bear crawl up the 14 steps with the other half did LBCs.

    Short mosey to the great lawn for some tree trimming. One burpee at the first tree, all the way to 11 burpees at the 11th tree. In between it was bear crawls, then duck walks, then reverse crab, then forward crab, then Donkey Kongs; and then repeat because the PAX traversed across 10 trees.

    Short mosey to the fountain:
    Leg Leg Power-Ups 20xIC
    Dips 20xIC
    Right Leg Power-Ups 20xIC
    Derkins 20xIC
    Saunter to the curb for 50 Rocky Balboas, then bunny hop up the Museum Steps and 5 SSHs at the top; rinse and repeat twice more times.

    Short mosey back to the grass for Circle of Mary:
    Flutter Kicks 20xIC
    Dying Cockroach 20xIC
    Russian Twist 20xIC
    Hello Dolly 20xIC
    Penguins 20xIC
    And finish off with 30 seconds of Mission Impossible.

    Thanks for letting this old guy Q. Jingle Vader

  • An A-Mazing Morning

    The Skinny was looking pretty skinny this morning.  Did Medula hypnotize everyone to post at Rock City?  Oh well, it’s always an amazing morning.  So after a Q&A disclaimer, the PAX was off for a mosey to the Labyrinth.

    COP1

    • SSHs 25xIC
    • Imperial Walkers 25xIC
    • I Don’t Knows (arms to the ground in front, to the toes and to the ground behind heals) 25xIC
    • Hillbillies 25xIC
    • Low Slow Squats 25xIC
    • Squat Pulses 20xIC (sorry, the Q died out)
    • Peter Parkers 25xIC
    • Mountain Climbers 25xIC
    • Parker Peters 25xIC
    • Merkins 25xIC
    • Squat Pulses 5xIC (to finish off)

    Mosey to Tchoupiloulas and back

    COP2:

    • Right Leg Step Ups 20xIC
    • Dips 20xIC
    • Left Leg Step Ups 20xIC
    • Derkins 20xIC
    • Box Jumps 10 OYO

    Bearcrawl counterclockwise around the labyrinth.  Then Jack Webb to 10 (how did the PAX, including YHC, get to 13 with Catfish on Saturday?).

    Circle of Mary:

    • LBCs 25xIC
    • Flutter Kicks 25xIC
    • Rosalitas 25xIC
    • Penguins 25xIC
    • Russian Twists 25xIC
    • Box Cutters 25xIC
    • Big Boy WWII Situps 25xIC
    • J Los 25xIC

    Slowish Mosey back to the flat to finish off with ten burpees OYO and a plank hold for the last 45 seconds, #TClaps to Peppa for the precision timing.

    Countoff, Namorama, and COT for the PAX to be kind, generous and thankful.  As always, it was a honor to lead.  Jingle Vader

  • Vegas Gloom

    YHC stole Frac Sac’s thunder, so he had to produce.  So for the second-to-gloomiest Mothership, and expecting Reluctant Yankee to show up, YHC had an homage to Side Effects and Bubba with a tip to YHC’s first Q at the Birdcage (45 minutes of Mary).  After a lame disclaimer, the PAX were off to the Peristyle for the first Circle of Pain, where YHC produced not one, but two decks of cards:

    • SSHs 52xIC (Rudy, clever guy that he is, had lots of Mumblechatter for this)
    • Imperial Walkers 30xIC
    • Low Slow Squats 29.75xIC, with a segue into
    • Squat Pulses 10xIC
    • Peter Parkers 25xIC
    • Mountain Climbers 25xIC
    • Parker Peters 25xIC
    • Merkins 25xIC (get those justifiers and chests to the ground, gentlemen)

    The Deck of Death.  Let the games begin.  Les jeux sont faits.  Alea iacta est.  Yada, yada, yada.  Spades were burpees, hearts were real Freddy Mercuries, diamonds were jump squats and clubs were merkins.  For the two jokers, a tip to Side Effects: balls to the wall on the columns in the Peristyle for twice as many BTTW merkins as the last card (one was a Queen, the other a six).  The PAX had the choice of letting Aces be one or thirteen (or, if Reluctant Yankee had been here, I suppose, fifteen); the PAX chose poorly: it was only one.  So that was 91 burpees, 91 dying cockroaches, 91 jump squats, 91 regular merkins and 36 BTTW merkins.

    For a breather, the PAX moseyed around the great lawn for round two of the Deck of Death along the benches in front of the Peristyle.  Clubs were box jumps, diamonds were dips, hearts were crunchy frogs and spades were sprints across the Great Lawn (run past the number of the palm trees equal to the spade drawn).  The PAX got through only 24 cards before Rudy started to kvetch about the approaching hour, so the PAX finished off with 30 dying cockroaches, one for each remaining card.

    [Note to self: to finish two decks, the Q probably needs one round to be Mary with little to no pausing for the six.]  Back to the flag for announcements and COT.  Thanks, PAX, for pushing this old guy, Jingle Vader

  • Winter Is Icumin In

    Well maybe not GofT winter, but I’ll take it.  So with a quick disclaimer from YHC, the PAX moseyed off to a new location (within a circle of palms at Loyola for a good echo) for the First Circle of Pain:

    • SSHs 25xIC
    • Imperial Walkers 25xIC
    • Low slow squats 25xIC
    • Squat pulses 15xIC (we miss ya, Shorty.  Quick fartsacking and show us how its done)
    • Peter Parkers 25xIC
    • Parker Peters 25xIC
    • Mountain Climbers 25xIC

    Slow mosey to the bottom of the closer parking garage for a little Dora 1-2-3.  PAX paired up with each pair to finish off 100 merkins, 200 squats and 300 flutter kicks (QHC reminded the PAX that he wanted to see no whiskeydicking: push your lower backs into the ground, you know at that sweet spot your Ms like you to rub before the real #WifePleasers, and keep the legs straight: work your core): as one PAX did 1-2-3, the other climbed the stairwell to the top then down the other stairwell; flap jack, etc.

    Slow mosey to the bottom of the ramp.  OYO, each PAX moseyed to the top of the parking lot with 5 burpees at each end on the way up for a total–if QHC can count–of a meager 55 burpees.  Rats, should have added an extra burpee for 56: a good luck number.

    Just two Minutes of Mary: LBCs 56xIC (PAX, it’s goal: next year, 57xIC, etc.  Can’t wait for double-respect  Jadaveon, YSR, Amnesia: QHC will probably be six feet under when you get there, but don’t let me slow you down).  Then the PAX moseyed back to the flags for Count-Off, Name-O-Rama, Intentions, and Prayers to be wise, generous and kind.

    See You in the Gloom, Jingle Vader

  • Mea Culpa Can Be Hell

    YHC did a no-show the prior Saturday.  He was in Oregon, and neglected to check that he was the Q.  Bad pax, bad pax.  Thank the Sky-Q that Rudy wasn’t there to remind everyone.  Tclaps Rudy for your fartsackery.  So when 86 called out for a switcheroo Q, YHC had but one option: to Q.  YHC needed some punishment, so that meant the same for the rest of the PAX.  Just think of it as a #DownPainMent.  About six or so of the PAX broke off for the Iron Challenge on the Great Lawn.  The rest of the PAX moseyed little farther up the Great Lawn for:

    First Circle of Pain:

    • Side Straddle Hops: 20xIC
    • Hillbillies: 20xIC
    • Around The World (or Daft Punk), in a kinda tribute to Side Effects: 12ishxICish (YHC was looking like Cowbell, there)
    • Merkins: 20xIC
    • Mountain Climbers: 20xIC
    • Peter Parkers: 20xIC

    Mosey to Tool’s Wall of Pain:

    • Calf Raises: 20xIC
    • Calf Raises with toes pointed out (or in, because your YHC said one but did the other): 20xIC
    • Calf Raises the opposite way (toes pointed in, or out, because your YHC was reminded that he got it backwards): 20xIC
    • Left Leg Dips (bring left leg to the ground): 20xIC
    • Right Leg Digs (bring right leg to the ground, obviously): 20xIC
    • Monkey Humpers (on the ground, not the wall): 20xIC

    Mosey to the Mini-Foundry and split up into several groups.  AMRAP for dips, burpees, leg lifts, big boy situps, pull ups, and steps up with a mosey aways away and back for the timer.  Rotate around until each group has done each.  Then a slow mosey to the beginning of Roosevelt Mall for a better tribute to Side Effects: Route 66.  The PAX split into two groups, one up one side of the mall and the other up the other.  At the first bench do either one erkin or one derkin or one LBC (but a real-ass LBC not a half-ass LBC), then mosey to the next bench for two, then to the third bench for three, etc. to the eleventh bench for eleven–for a total of 66.  After some water, mosey back to the Great Lawn for

    Circle of Mary:

    • Dying Cockroaches: 20xIC
    • Flutter Kicks: 20xIC
    • Real Freddy Mercuries (or is it Mercurys?): 20xIC
    • Hello Dollys (or is it Dollies): 20xIC
    • Putins: 20xIC
    • Rosalitas: 20xIC
    • Box Cutters: 20xIC

    It was getting late and Triple Shift was moseying like the Q, so no time for Dr W.  Sorry, I promise it for my next Q.  Mosey back to the flag for COT.  Tclaps for two FNGs.  It’s not us old farts who keep F3 going, it’s the steady flow of FNGs who keep it fresh and inviting.  I followed the logic for how we named Colonial: he lives in River Ridge, or it is Harahan?  [Sorry, YHC doesn’t venture deep into Jefferson Parish.]  So of course the defunct Colonial County Club in the middle fit perfectly.  How we got to Phoebes was a little more circuitous: the FNG is a physical therapist, so someone suggested Phoebe from Friends, whereupon the FNG reminded that she is a massage therapist, whereupon the PAX then went down too many rabbit holes for YHC’s oxygen-deprived brain to follow for other names, so he opted for Phoebes.  [The AMA is conducting a study to correlate the lack of oxygen after a post with the gnarlier an F# name, but the results should be obvious: the less oxygen, the better the name.]

    Jingle Vader

  • Muggy Monday

    A guy messes up once, and he gets no sympathy.  I suppose it’s a good think to keep one accountable.  Thanks, Rudy.  So at exactly 5:30:00.00, YHC gave an excellently excellent disclaimer, and the PAX was off.

    First Circle of Pain:

    • SSHs 30xIC
    • Don Quixotes 20xIC
    • Hill Billies 30xIC
    • Peter Parkers 20xIC
    • Parker Peters 20xIC

    The PAX get Rox, as big or little as you’d like.  Then mosey to the track.

    Second Circle of Pain:

    Line up in an earth circle (TClaps to Babyface for reminding us that a line on earth is of course a circle) for some suicides.  Mosey with you rock about 25 yards and then 10 burpees and return to 20 merkins; then mosey 50 yards for 10 burpees and return for 20 merkins; then mosey 75 yards for 10 burpees and return for 20 merkins; and finish with 100 yards for 10 burpees and return for 20 merkins.

    Third Circle of Pain (in a PAX-centric and not Q-centric circle):

    • 20 overhead lifts
    • 20 curls
    • 20 row
    • 20 squats
    • 20 benchpresses

    Rinse and repeat with a cycle of 13, and then rinse and repeat again with a cycle of 7.  Mosey back to the rock pile.  Tclaps to Bogey for his well aimed splash of Rudy from a good 10 yards away.

    Circle of Mary (if six minutes of Mary can do wonders, imagine what 3 minutes of Mary can do!):

    • LBCs x50
    • Dying Cockroaches x25

    Mosey back to the virtual flag for a countoff, name-o-rama, lots of prayers, and praise for a glorious morning.  Shalom, namaste and pax vobiscum, Jingle Vader

  • Pushing through

    YHC hadn’t been to the Uptowner for almost three months–not since he banged up his right arm at the end of the Tough Mudder on St. Patty’s Day.  Walleye said it’d take two months or so to start to feel right again–he was right about the “or so” part.  But YHC decided he’d ease back in in the gloom this morning.  So au revoir to Wolfpack Mountain, and into Metry.  As PAX began to gather, YHC learned that HVAC was the Q: perfect: a tough-ass yoga session, but hopefully light on the triceps.  With great (but wholly incorrect) insight, YHC commented that HVAC always runs a lap or two before posting, so he should be here any second.  Tick, tick, tick, tick: no HVAC.  [Summertime can be busy for A/C guys: customers maybe will tolerate a broken heater for a few hours in January, but more than about 10 minutes without A/C in the summer garners no such similar tolerance. T-claps to HVAC and Duct Tape for keeping summers tolerable.]  So when Mahatma recommended a split Q, YHC figured his arm had had enough rest: time to step up for the first part.

    Warm Up:

    • SSHs 25xIC
    • Low, Very Slow Squats (4-count down, 4-count hold, 4-count to up) 24xIC
    • Abe Vagodas 25xIC
    • Merkins 25xIC

    The PAX then grabbed rocks for a favorite Friday routine for YHC:

    • 20 overhead presses
    • 20 squats
    • 20 curls
    • 20 bench presses

    Then rinse and repeat with a 15-count, then again with a 10-count and finally with a f-count.  But before turning the Q over to Mahatma, time for some sitting around.  On the fence:

    • Sit for 30 seconds
    • Curls 20xIC
    • sit for 30 seconds
    • Overhead Presses 20xIC

    Mahatma then took over for some cardio delight.  The PAX divided their rocks into two rows about 10 yards or so apart and then paired up.  Each pair faced each other then side shuffled across to the other row, did a jump squat, side-shuffled back and then concluded with another jump squat–repeat 6 times for a total of 12 jump squats.  After a 30-count countdown, the PAX rinsed and repeated.

    Lining up along one of the rows again, each PAX carried his rock overhead to the other row to do 5 burpees and then returned the first row carrying his rock straight out front a la Frankenstein’s monster for 5 more burpees, and rinsed and repeated–for a total of 20 burpees.

    Then after returning their rocks, the PAX circled up for a final COP:

    • Plank for a minute
    • Crunches from legs extended overhead to legs extended straight (but off the ground) x12 IC
    • alligator pushups (lift hands on the up-extension) x20 IC
    • Dying cockroach (x10IC), straight into flutter kicks (x10IC); rinse and repeat with x10IC, and then a second time with x5IC for a total of 25xIC cockroaches and 25xIC flutter kicks

    Thanks for letting YHC share the Q.  Jingle Vader

  • Three Years of Respect

    A PAX can sometimes be a deaf lot, such as when a Q makes a disclaimer and then starts to mosey: huh, huh, what’d he say?  Where’s he going?  Hey, wait, we’re supposed to be following him?

    After a clearly articulated, strong-voiced disclaimer at precisely 5:30:00a, YHC started the usual mosey to Walnut, as the PAX slowly caught up with lots of mumblechatter.  We continued a mosey to the front of Tulane, but past the wall and into the area with more room.  After all, some of the PAX were, shall we say, gaseous.  Warm-up:

    • SSHs 31xIC
    • Hillbillies 28xIC
    • Monkey Humpers 31xIC (always a crowd pleaser)
    • Peter Parkers 30xIC

    Mosey to old stomping grounds with a new twist suggested by Reluctant Yankee: at the corner of Calhoun and St. Charles in front of the oh-so-lovely tiers landscaping featuring an elegant cement carving that just happens to spell LOYOLA, the Pax broke up into four groups (some difficulty encountered, apparently dividing sixteen by four can sometimes be challenging in the Gloom).  Group One: mosey over to the three-floor outdoor staircase to go up and down twice (that’s 24 up each time for those who climbed steps by twos and 48 down for those not crazy enough to do same on the way down, for a total of 144 steps–or so); meanwhile, Group Two did merkins AMRAP at the corner, Group Three did squats AMRAM on the first tier and Group Four did Nolan Ryans AMRAP on the second tier.  The merks were definitely the most challenging.  Cycle through until each group has done all four stations.

    After a somewhat quiet 20-count by Cowbell, the PAX moseyed to and up the central stairwell for Wolfpack Mountain.  At the top, the PAX divided into two groups (again, apparently, some difficulty in dividing sixteen in half).  Group One moseyed down the stairway to the third floor and back up, while Group Two did some prayer chairs; then both groups flipped.  Rinse and repeat once, and then a Circle of Mary:

    • Russian Twists 20xIC
    • Flutter Kicks 20xIC
    • Penguins 20xIC
    • Hello Dollys 20xIC
    • Crunchy Frogs 20xIC
    • Dying Cockroaches 20xIC
    • LBCs 20xIC
    • Dr. Ws 10xIC (apparently, YHC was going too fast?  He thought it was easier that way.  Beware, next time he might do it oh so slow to keep the burn burning hot.  We miss you, Side Effects.)

    Mosey back down the ramp and back to the would-be flag to finish at, RY will be happy to hear, precisely at 6:15a.  A black dog and his man Sea Man were dutifully waiting, with a bemused smile as he watched 16 (or really 15, since Pony Boy had to peel off) PAX drip sweat into the sweet, dewy grass.  Count off, Name-O-Rama, and a closing COT.

    #Moleskin: YHC was, um, a bit more exhausted (Douille thought YHC might need to go to a hospital) when he finished his first BeatDown, led by Splash on the first Friday of Jazzfest in 2015.  #TClaps to all the PAX for giving YHC three years and one week of great BeatDowns.

    Jingle Vader

  • No arms… kinda

    From the Tough Mudder almost a month ago, YHC banged up his right arm good and sore.  Although it’s no longer lovely shades of green, brown and yellow, it’s still nowhere near 100%.  So today YHC attempted an armless BeatDown.  He was successful…mostly.

    After a disclaimed, the PAX was off to a new field past the Mardi Gras fountain–with Rudy’s mumblechatter in high pitch.

    • SSHs 30xIC
    • Hill Billies 30xIC
    • Low Slow Squats 20xIC
    • Squatting Pulses 20xIC

    Mosey to the waterfront from box jump reverse-suicides: mosey to the first planter for 10 box jumps, mosey back and then to the second for 9 box jumps, etc., to the tenth planter for 1 box jump.  A nice gasser to finish up the warm up.  Then mosey to the tenth planter for some static pain:

    • Dips 20xIC (here’s where the kinda came in; these don’t hurt YHC’s arm, so there it was)
    • Right Leg Power Ups 20xIC
    • Irkins (same kind of kinda)
    • Left Leg Power Ups 20xIC
    • Dips 20xIC (last of the kinda)

    Then circle up for a Cowbell special: the Hurricane Ho Down.  Seven flutter kicks in a V position with arms in the arm, then seven more with arms extended on the ground, then seven more while leaning on elbows, and then more with a flat back.  Rinse and repeat with six of each, then five, four, three, two and finally one of each.

    Mosey on over to the levee for some Elevens.  At the toe of the levee, ten Big Boy Sit Ups, then mosey up the levee for one squat, then mosey down for nine Big Boy Sit Ups, then up for two squats, etc., until one Big Boy Sit Up at the bottom and ten squats at the top.

    No time left for Mary.  So everyone’s favorite close out: 12 burpees.

    Then Countoff, Name-O-Rama, Intentions and a COT.  Thanks  for letting me Q twice this week.  Birthdays are great.  Everyone should have one at least once a year.  Jingle Vader