F3 New Orleans

Author: Hawgcycle

  • Us Against H8!

    Conditions: Humid, 74 degrees, Humidity 95%, Wind 8mph from ENE

    Warm-up:  Mosey from the flag to the start.  Warm-up on your own.  No time for SSH or Grass Grabbers or J-Los, we’ve got work to do.

    The Thang:  The H8!  F3 NOLA’s overly complicated, semi-annual, feat of strength.  The stick by which our fitness is measured.    

    Each lap consists of running south to the top of the levee, crossing canal (bear crawling the neutral ground), running south to the bottom of the levee, cross canal and run north to the top of the levee, cross canal (bear crawling the neutral ground), running north down the levee and back across canal to the starting point.  At the starting point you do a descending burp and merk pyramid starting at 8 (burpee with 8 hand release merkins, burpee with 7 hand release merkins, …, burpee with 1 hand release merkin)

    At the end of the 2nd lap the burp and merk pyramid starts at 7, etc.

    The goal is to complete 8 laps in 40 minutes.  According to MapMyRun, each loop is approximately 0.4 miles.  Therefore, to conquer the H8! you will have to do the following in 40 minutes:

    • Run over 3 Miles of Hills
    • 550 Yards of Bear Crawls
    • 36 Burpees
    • 120 Merkins

    NMM

    • The construction at the south base of the levee caused for a slight re-route.  The H8! Committee did a good job of ensuring that the change was slight and the overall distance was not affected so that this fall’s running of the H8! Is considered official. 
    • T-claps to all of the guys coming out for the first time.  I think Heart-A-Quake, Mama’s Pride, Undertaker, Disclaimer, Bieber, Bartman, Catfish, Big Easy, Snooze were all first timers. 
    • I didn’t keep a record of who made it and who didn’t.  I am pretty sure the success rate was just north of 50%.  That’s really good, especially for having so many new guys.  Our fitness continues to accelerate.

    One of the core principles of F3 is that it is open to all men.  But just proclaiming that you are open to all men doesn’t cut it.  We have to be intentional about making sure that we are welcoming to all men and that we are not unintentionally excluding anyone.  There are lots of things that can make men different from one another, but most of them have nothing to do with what F3 is about.  I just mean to say that participating in an F3 workout has nothing to do with what race you are, or what your financial situation is, or what religion you are, etc.  (Side note:  I do think it’s important to think about those things and make sure that we are not being unintentionally exclusive because of the make-up of our Pax.  My point is just that the core principles of F3 workouts could apply to anyone, anywhere).  One thing that does have a lot to do with F3 is fitness level.  That’s why diverse fitness levels have to be considered when planning every workout.  It is important that the guys that have a high level of fitness are getting smoked and it is important the that guys on the lower end of the fitness spectrum are staying with the group and are not being left behind on their own.  I would like to think that we are pretty good across F3 NOLA at making sure that each work out feels like a team event, that we all have a goal of getting better and that we are supporting each other to reach that goal, no matter what our current fitness level is. 

    One of the complaints that I have heard about the Iron Pax Challenge is that it is not consistent with F3 in that way; that it puts the focus on the individual and even worse, ranks the individuals.  Some men  that aren’t at the top feel a sense of embarrassment or shame that they aren’t comparable to the guys at the top. You could make the same argument about the H8!  There’s certainly a sense of completing it and not completing it. 

    Personally I think competition like this is really important.  If you want to run faster, you have to run with faster guys.  In order to accelerate our fitness, we need to be in the back of the pack striving to get to the front.  I enjoy competition and I think it plays an important role in growth.  But I also think that it is important that we work hard to keep the sense of comradery and teamwork that all F3 workouts have.  The H8! Is something we all want to conquer and that we want to help each man conquer. 

    There are a couple of quotes that have stuck with me from the book “Run the Mile You are In:  Finding God in Every Step” by Ryan Hall, the American Record Holder in the half-marathon and the fastest American to ever run the Boston Marathon (2:04).  He said “Competition can be a beautiful thing if we are focused on making ourselves and others better and are not concerned about how we stack up with everyone else…..this is why comparisons in athletics and in life are so fruitless.  When we compare, we miss the joy of the journey as well as the joy of the achievement.”     

    Let’s make sure we keep pushing ourselves and each other, without compromising the joy of the journey.  A common motto at an F3 work out is that it’s “You against You”, and that is very true.  But it is also true that it is “Us against H8!”

  • Celebrating the Six

    Conditions:  Humid and Partly Cloudy.  73 degrees, 100% humidity.  Wind 4 mph from the NW

    The Thang

    We divided up into nine teams to play some Rarájipari.  Teams of 4 or 5 kick a baseball as they run.  No real rules other than you have to kick it everywhere you go.  Today each team had to visit four landmarks to collect a playing card.  They could collect the cards in any order. First team to make it back with all four cards and the ball was the winner.  The landmarks were the Peristyle, The Dueling Oak, The Singing Oak, and the Rugby Pitch.  Overall mileage was roughly 3 miles for the efficient teams, over 3.5 for some of the more directionally challenged teams. 

    Cool Down

    As teams arrived back to the start High-Rise led as he took stretch requests and YHC closed us out with a little Mary before we sealed the deal.

    NMM

    • Chaos ensued at the start.  A couple of Pax went down with turned ankles and balls were lost.
    • We started with nine balls.  We ended with five.  Not sure of the specifics, but one team was rumored to have lost two balls somehow.
    • One team lost a ball off the Wisner Bridge.  That leads to a number of questions.
    • The teams that went to the Peristyle first had to weave their way through a Zumba class to get to the flag. 
    • This workout was much more compliant with Corona restrictions than what Papa Smurf did on Monday.  Although our pods were sharing the same ball, YHC was the only one without shoes.  CDC guidelines limit shoeless Rarájipari players to one per team.  In an abundance of caution, other teams shod all of their players.    
    • Some teams were looking for Dueling Oaks.  Just to clarify, the Oaks themselves have no beef with one another.  The Dueling Oak, singular, was the location of many a human duel back in the day. 
    • T-claps to Rudy, Boo-Boo, and Kuch for helping YHC put the flags out this morning. 
    • T-claps to Bushwhacker and Cowbell for making the trek from the frigid North.  Cowbell was showing off a strong sock game today.
    • Every Rarájipari team has a 6.  And depending on what group we are in, that could, for the most part, be any one of us.  The fast guys are usually controlling the ball up front and the 6 is keeping a consistent pace trying to keep up.  You may be falling farther and farther behind, but you keep running.  You keep plugging away.  Inevitably someone kicks the ball into the shrubs, or into a giant mud hole, or off the Wisner Bridge and you catch up.  It’s hard to overstate the importance of consistency in every aspect of our lives.  Keep plugging away – you’ll get there.      

  • Non-Stop

    Conditions – Humid and Partly Cloudy, 79 degrees, Feels like 82.  Humidity 91%, Wind 3mph from SW

    The Thang – Every Minute On the Minute for the entire workout.  Do the number of exercises on your own and rest for the rest of the minute.  60 sets. 

    Warm-Up

    1. Mosey to the warm-up Cone (80 yards)
    2. SSH x 60
    3. Imperial Walker (2 is 1) x 25
    4. Windmills (2 is 1) x 15
    5. Peter Parker (2 is 1) x 25 – stay in plank when finished
    6. Mountain Climbers (2 is 1) x 25 – stay in plank when finished
    7. Parker Peter (2 is 1) x 25 – recover to your feet
    8. Merkins x 30
    9. Squats x 60
    10. Wide Merkins x 40
    11. Monkey Humpers x 40
    12. Mosey back to the flag (80 yards)

    Levee Work – Quadraphilia = running down and back up always facing south; Crawl Bear = Jog down the levee and crawl bear to the top

    1. Quadraphilia x 3
    2. Quadraphilia x 2 (3 if you can)
    3. Quadraphilia x 2 (3 if you can)
    4. Quadraphilia x 2 (3 if you can)
    5. LBCs x 50
    6. Crawl Bear x 1
    7. Crawl Bear x 1
    8. Crawl Bear x 1
    9. Crawl Bear x 1
    10. LBCs x 50
    11. Mosey to the Cardio Cone (50 yards)

    Death By Burpees – If you get caught switch to merkins and do twice the number

    1. 8 Burpees
    2. 9 Burpees
    3. 10 Burpees
    4. 11 Burpees
    5. 12 Burpees
    6. 13 Burpees
    7. 14 Burpees
    8. 30 Merkins (we all got caught at 14)
    9. Mosey to the Rocks and plank the rest of the minute (40 yards)
    10. Plank

    Rock Work

    1. Pick out a rock and carry it back to the circle
    2. Presses x 25
    3. Curls x 30
    4. Squats x 25
    5. Curls x 30
    6. Squat Presses x 20
    7. Carry your rock back and throw it on the pile
    8. Mosey back to the cardio cone (40 yards)

    Nickels and Dimes

    1. 10 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) + 5 squats
    2. 10 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) + 5 squats
    3. 10 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) + 5 squats
    4. 10 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) + 5 squats
    5. 10 Bonnie Blairs (2 is 1) + 5 squats
    6. Mosey to the flag (40 yards)

    Quadraphilia

    1. LBCs x 50
    2. Quadraphilia x 1
    3. Quadraphilia x 2
    4. Quadraphilia x 2
    5. Quadraphilia x 2
    6. LBCs x 50
    7. Mosey to the Wall (40 yards)

    Wall Work

    1. Plank
    2. Feet half way up wall – Shoulder Taps (2 is 1) x 15
    3. Feet all the way up wall – Hip Slappers (2 is 1) x 10
    4. Feet half way up wall – Shoulder Taps (2 is 1) x 15

    The End

    1. Mosey back to the Flag (40 yards)
    2. Dying Cockroach x 30

  • Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes

    Conditions:

    Clear, 73 degrees, Feels like 74, Humidity 86%, Wind 3mph from SW

    Warm-up:

    IW x 31; Grass Grabbers x 15; Low Slow Squats x 20; Merkins x 30; Peter Parkers x 25; Bat Wings (Everything x 22 except MNNs x 31)

    The Thang:

    Wall Work:  Ascending Testicles; Balls to the Wall; Plank Walk x 15; Shoulder Taps x 15; Hip Slappers x 15

    Proceed to Rock Pile for 10! (Squats, Curls, Shoulder Presses)

    Repeat Wall Work

    Proceed to the Football Field for 100 yard Bear Crawls x 4

    NMM:

    • I was not planning on doing Bat Wings during the warm-up.  Don’t want to be too predictable.  But, I couldn’t help it.
    • I was not planning on doing so many bear crawls.  Don’t want to be too predictable.  But I couldn’t help it.
    • We welcomed FNG Cake Boss.  T-Claps to Rudy for the EH.  Unfortunately Cake Boss was only visiting the area.  He headed back to Jersey after the workout.  He just graduated from American University where he ran track and Cross-Country.  His PR for the 5K is in the 15 minute range.  Rudy is working on making sure he needs to be in New Orleans for work the third Wednesday of every July.

  • The 7 of Diamonds

    Conditions:  76 degrees.  Humidity 82%.  Wind 4mph form NNW

    Caloric Burn – 520

    Warm-up

    SSH x 31; IW x 25; Don Quioxtes x 15; LSS x 20; Bat Wings (Forward AC x 22; Backerds AC x 22; Seal Claps x 22; OH Claps x 22; Moroccan NCs x 47)

    The Thang

    7 of Diamonds – 7 trips around the bases….Nolan Ryans between each trip. 

    • Round 1 – 7 8CBBS at each base
    • Round 2 – 14 Merkins at each base
    • Round 3 – 21 Monkey-Humpers at each base
    • Round 4 – 28 LBCs at each base
    • Round 5 – 21 Monkey-Humpers at each base
    • Round 6 – 14 Merkins at each base
    • Round 7 – 7 8CBBs at each base

    Finished with a Nod to the three teams that retired Nolan Ryan’s Jersey

    • Texas Rangers – Ranger Merkins x 15
    • California Angels aka Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim aka Los Angeles Angels – Australian Snow Angels x 10
    • Houston Astros – Jack Ass(tro) – 1:2 ratio of Squats to Bonnie Blairs…we went to 6 squats 12 Bonnie Blairs when time was called

    NMM

    • Vagabond is seeing the benefits to the Bat Wings.  He attributes them to several benefits in his life.  His shoulders feel better, he’s sleeping better, he’s lost weight, his love life has improved, he’s paying lower taxes….
    • Fun facts about Nolan Ryan….he was pretty much the most unhittable pitcher ever.  One of 5 hall of famers with more strikeouts than innings pitched.  Most strikeouts ever – 5714 which is 839 more than Randy Johnson, who is second on the list.  Lowest batting average allowed in a career – .204.  7 no hitters, 12 1-hitters, 18 2-hitters, and 31 3-hitters – all the most in history.
    • He was also the wildest pitcher to have such a long career.  Most walks in history and it isn’t close.  2795 career walks, which is 962 more than Steve Carlton in 2nd place  This means he had 50% more walks than anyone in baseball history.  Robin Ventura was one of 158 batters that he hit.  And he threw 277 wild pitches, which is a major league record. 
    • Nolan Ryan went all out.  He lived the go big or go home motto and it led to a career full of both success and failure.    

  • Barefoot Led Bedlam

    Warm-up

    SSH x ??; Plank Jacks x 25; The Frac (Burpee Shock and Awe made famous by Fracsac); Don Quixote x 10; Low Slow Squats x 10; Justifier contemplation x 15;

    The Thang

    Mosey to the Rock Pile For A Stack

    • 5 Rock Burpees
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats, 15 Shoulder Presses
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats; 15 Shoulder Presses; 20 Curls
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats; 15 Shoulder Presses; 20 Curls; 25 Rows

    Lt. Dan – 2 lunges:1 Squat ……20 lunges 10 squats

    Dying Cockroach x 20; Penguins x 20

    Lt. Dan Repeato

    Dying Cockroach x 20; Penguins x 20

    Unstack the stack

    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats; 15 Shoulder Presses; 20 Curls; 25 Rows
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats; 15 Shoulder Presses; 20 Curls
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats, 15 Shoulder Presses
    • 5 Rock Burpees; 10 Squats
    • 5 Rock Burpees

    Recovery walk back to the flag and the top of the levee

    Levee Sprints x 5

    NMM

    • Two Yutes took charge and made up for my tardiness by starting the pax with some SSH and Plank Jacks.  I had decided to smoke a couple of pork shoulders Friday.  Smoking takes very little attention, but I somehow managed to give it less attention than it requires.  When I woke up at 0530 my fire was out, so I worked as long as I could to save the pork before heading to The View.  That’s my story.
    • We did the stack when I Q’d last week and it sucked just as much this week
    • Rumor has it that Papa Smurf showed up to a few workouts barefoot last week.  He was asking me a bunch of questions during the sprints about Earth Grounding.  It was hard to act cool and contain my excitement.  It’s hard going it alone.

    Papa Smurf never seems to get tired.  It’s worthy challenge to try and wear him out.  It may take a round robin Q or CSAUP to do it. 

  • Buying the Bundle

    Conditions:  Humid

    Warm-UP

    IW x 31; Bat Wings and Moroccan Robin (Forward Arm Circles x 20; Backards Arm Circles x 20, Seal Claps x 25, Overhead Claps x 25, Moroccan Night Clubs x 31) #Crowd Pleaser; Low Slow Squats x 15; Don Quixote x 10; Peter Parker x 15; Merkins x 15; Parker Peter x 15; Justifier Reflection x 15; Flutters x 15

    The Thang

    Bear Crawl to the Rock Pile (approximately 250 yards)

    Carry a Big Rock and a one handed rock to the Gym (approximately 100 yards)

    Wall Work:  Ball to the Wall; Ascending Testicles, Down and Dirty x 15; Chicken Peckers x 15; Hip Slappers x 15

    Carry Rocks back to the Rock Pile (Approximately 100 yards)

    Lunge walk x 40 yards

    Bear Crawl 60 yards

    NMM

    • My advertisement of a Low Impact Workout was more successful than anticipated.  I was pleasantly surprised to see 8 High Impact Men at my Low Impact workout.  I am sure The Boge, MmmmmBop, Vagabond, and even Hand Grenada were up for something Low Impact after the horrible things Hand Grenada made us do on Monday (Basically Sprint a mile with a 35 pound rock on your shoulder).  The meaner, leaner Gabby has been struggling with an injury to his svelty body and also seems to be in some kind of exclusive coffee tasting club with War Eagle and The Boge, which explains why they all wanted to be here.  Tool and JV came from afar because they love intrigue. 
    • After the initial Bear Crawl, Hand Grenada suggested that I with my promise of a low impact workout I was selling him a Bundle of goods that sounded good, but that he in fact did not want or need.
    • I have so missed JV’s labor pains.  They were in fine form during the initial bear crawl
    • There is a lot of perseveration on genitalia in the names of the wall exercises.  I did not name them   I got them off the F3 Nation website.  I can only imagine they were named by a 6th grader in an old man’s body. 
    • I’m a fan of these wall exercises.  Props to Ethanol
    • The new non-shovel Shovel Flag that Vagabond is flying should be the new standard in F3 Nola Shovel Flags. 

  • Wednesdays at Pontiff Have a Name.

    The Mascot of Pontiff Playground is the Blue Devil, or El Diablo Azul as Yankee would say.  The Blue Devil is an evil being.  He desires our sadness.  He uses his weapons to isolate us.  He wants us to be lonely.  Then he uses deception to create mistrust.  His latest ploy of using a global pandemic that isolates us in the name of protecting others is quite genius.  To then use a senseless act of violence to further drive us apart was diabolical, but then again, he is El Diablo. 

    But we have the weapons to defeat him.  The three Fs are his kryptonite.  El Diablo Azul is the Lord of Inaction.  Tomorrow morning, he will tell you stay in bed when that alarm goes off.  “You need the rest,” he will say.  He will tell you to stay physically and socially distant from others.  He will tell you to group others into easily dismissible stereotypes and that there is no need to hear their side.  He will tell you that there is no hope and there is nothing you can do.  He will coerce you into inaction. 

    So when that alarm goes off in the morning – Be a man of action.  Join us in the gloom as we conquer El Diablo.

  • Alt Nation

    Warm-Up

    SSH x 20 (IC); Imperial Walkers x 20 (IC); Windmills x 10 (IC)

    The Thang

    100 Burpees + 100 Crunchy Frogs – Alternate after 10 reps.  Single Count

    150 Merkins + 150 Big Boi Sit-ups – Alternate after 15 reps.  Single Count

    200 Peter Parkers + 200 Dying Cockroaches – Alternate after 20 reps.  4-count cadence = 1 rep.

    250 Squats + 250 LBCs – Alternate after 25 reps.  Single Count

    If there is time remaining, alternate 10 8CBBs and 10 Dr. Ws until time is up.

  • 40 – For Rudy

    Showing Rudy some love by bringing his beloved 40 to the Zoom and hopefully giving him a new song to sing

    Warm-up: 25 SSH, 20 Peter Parkers, 20 Mountain Climbers, 20 Parker Peters.

    No levee in the Zoom. 5 burpees will replace the run up and over the levee. 40 reps of the exercise in each set. Each set will go like this: 5 burpees, 10 reps of the excercise, 5 burpees, 10 reps of the exercise, 5 burpees 10 reps of the exercise, 5 burpees, 10 reps of the exercise.

    • Set 1 – Tempo Merkin
    • Set – Monkey Humpers
    • Set 3 – Low Slow Squat
    • Set 4 – Plank Jack
    • Set 5 – Tempo Diamond Merkin
    • Set 6 – American Hammer
    • Set 7 – Bonnie Blair
    • Set 8 – SSH
    • Set 9 – Tempo Wide Merkins
    • Set 10 – Flutter Kicks

    I waited patiently for the Lord
    He inclined and heard my cry
    He brought me up out of the pit
    Out of the mire and clayI will sing, sing a new song
    I will sing, sing a new songHow long to sing this song
    How long to sing this song
    How long, how long, how long
    How long, to sing this songHe set my feet upon a rock
    And made my footsteps firm
    Many will see
    Many will see and fearI will sing, sing a new song
    I will sing,…