F3 New Orleans

Author: Douille

  • Blame it on Ukraine (or at least the twists)

    Conditions were prefect at the Skinny…extra gloomy with lots of fog, cool temps, reports of poor air quality & a visitor named Uptown Girl. After a half-hearted disclaimer by the Q (you know my name), we moseyed to the Bandstand.

    1st COP:

    SSH x34 – tribute to the Saints win & Mr. Slye having to take the greyhound home.

    MC x20, HB x20, PP x20, ISW x20, PP x20

    Off to the track stopping by the row bars:

    5 groups – 10 burpees were the count (even on Monday)

    Rows, Burpees, Plank Jacks, Merkins & Squats – 1 rotation the back to track for a two-line Indian run

    Stopping halfway to the benches a little sudden change: 10 burpees (Book of Revit be damned)

    Back to the track for more Indian run to the benches:

    RLSU x20, Dips x20, LLSU x20, Dips x15, Shoulder Taps x20, Derkins x10

    Another Indian Run to the green for the 2nd COP:

    Flutter Kicks x20, Hello Dolly x20, Dying Cockroach x20, Elbow Peter Parkers x20, Russian Twists x20 & Ukrainian Twists x20

    Back to the track for the last Indian run.

    3rd COP at the pull up bars:

    Plank-o-rama followed by 10 burpees

    Back to the flag for one last COP:

    Plank crunches right then left followed by 20 seconds of MI

    Count-off, Name-o-rama, showed the flag some love then a short prayer.

    Good times & nice attendance at Coffeteria. Thanks

  • Coupons?, we don’t need no stinkin’ coupons!

    REG: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don’t labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

    XERXES: The aqueduct?

    REG: What?

    XERXES: The aqueduct.

    REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

    COMMANDO #3: And the sanitation.

    LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the sanitation, Reg. Remember what the city used to be like?

    REG: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you the aqueduct and the sanitation are two things that the Romans have done.

    MATTHIAS: And the roads.

    REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the roads. I mean, the roads go without saying, don’t they? But apart from the sanitation, the aqueduct, and the roads–

    COMMANDO: Irrigation.

    XERXES: Medicine.

    COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh…

    COMMANDO #2: Education.

    COMMANDOS: Ohh…

    REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

    COMMANDO #1: And the wine.

    COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah…

    FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, if the Romans left. Huh.

    COMMANDO: Public baths.

    LORETTA: And it’s safe to walk in the streets at night now, Reg.

    FRANCIS: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it. They’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

    COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

    REG: All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?

    XERXES: Brought peace.

    REG: Oh. Peace? Shut up!

  • They have real water

    With 10 pax playing crossfit at muscleship & another 15 chasing their 2.0s for beignets, only 11 pax were up for a classic beatdown at mothership. After the brief disclaimer we moseyed to great lawn:

    1st COP: SSH x25, MC x20, IW x20, PP x20, HB x20, PP x20, SJ x20

    Line up at the trees: 5 body builders (not burpees) then run and touch the opposite walkway – repeat 5 times for a total of 25

    2nd COP: Plank MC x20 (a bit awkward & difficult), Lunges x20, Plank PP x20, Lunge Climbers x20, LLS x20

    Water break then back to the trees: 5 knee-up burpees (slap those knees) then run to opposite walkway – repeat 5 times for a total of 25

    Mosey to the museum fountain and steal some “real water” from the ironpax: RLSU x25, Dips x20, LLSU x25, Decline PP x20, Derkins x5, water break then RL-UP x15, Dips x15, LL-UP x15

    Back to the great lawn for a little mary Hello Dolly x20, Dying Cockroach x20, Flutter Kicks x20, LBT x20, RFMx20, RTx20, LCC x20 Plank-O-Rama – Regular, Left Arm, Backwards, Right Arm, Regular then MI for 20 seconds to finish

    Back to the virtual flag for a count off, name-o-rama and a short prayer.

    Always tag Rudy…

  • The Revolution Will Not Be Televised

    Arthur and his trusty servant Patsy “ride” into a field where peasants are
    working. They come up behind a cart which is being dragged by a hunched-over peasant in ragged clothing. Patsy slows as they near the cart.

    Arthur: Old Woman!

    The peasant turns around, revealing that he is in fact a man.

    Man: Man!
    Arthur: Man, sorry…. What knight lives in that castle over there?
    Man: I’m thirty-seven!
    Arthur: (surprised) What?
    Man: I’m thirty-seven! I’m not old–
    Arthur: Well I can’t just call you “man”…
    Man: Well you could say “Dennis”–
    Arthur: I didn’t know you were called Dennis!
    Man: Well, you didn’t bother to find out, did you?!
    Arthur: I did say sorry about the “old woman”, but from behind, you looked–
    Man: Well I object to your…you automatically treat me like an inferior!
    Arthur: Well I am king…
    Man: Oh, king, eh, very nice. And ‘ow’d you get that, eh?
    (he reaches his destination and stops, dropping the cart)
    By exploiting the workers! By ‘angin’ on to outdated imperialist dogma
    which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
    If there’s ever going to be any progress,–
    Woman: Dennis! There’s some lovely filth down ‘ere!
    (noticing Arthur) Oh! ‘Ow’d’ja do?
    Arthur: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, king of the Britons. Whose
    castle is that?
    Woman: King of the ‘oo?
    Arthur: King of the Britons.
    Woman: ‘Oo are the Britons?
    Arthur: Well we all are! We are all Britons! And I am your king.
    Woman: I didn’t know we ‘ad a king! I thought we were autonomous collective.
    Man: (mad) You’re fooling yourself! We’re living in a dictatorship! A
    self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes–
    Woman: There you go, bringing class into it again…
    Man: That’s what it’s all about! If only people would–
    Arthur: Please, please, good people, I am in haste! WHO lives in that
    castle?
    Woman: No one lives there.
    Arthur: Then who is your lord?
    Woman: We don’t have a lord!
    Arthur: (spurised) What??
    Man: I told you! We’re an anarcho-syndicalist commune! We’re taking
    turns to act as a sort of executive-officer-for-the-week–
    Arthur: (uninterested) Yes…
    Man: But all the decisions of that officer ‘ave to be ratified at a
    special bi-weekly meeting–
    Arthur: (perturbed) Yes I see!
    Man: By a simple majority, in the case of purely internal affairs–
    Arthur: (mad) Be quiet!
    Man: But by a two-thirds majority, in the case of more major–
    Arthur: (very angry) BE QUIET! I order you to be quiet!
    Woman: “Order”, eh, ‘oo does ‘e think ‘e is?
    Arthur: I am your king!
    Woman: Well I didn’t vote for you!
    Arthur: You don’t vote for kings!
    Woman: Well ‘ow’d you become king then?
    (holy music up)
    Arthur: The Lady of the Lake– her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by
    divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why
    I am your king!
    Man: (laughingly) Listen: Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power
    derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some… farcical
    aquatic ceremony!
    Arthur: (yelling) BE QUIET!
    Man: You can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just ’cause some
    watery tart threw a sword at you!!
    Arthur: (coming forward and grabbing the man) Shut UP!
    Man: I mean, if I went ’round, saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bink had lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!
    Arthur: (throwing the man around) Shut up, will you, SHUT UP!
    Man: Aha! Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
    Arthur: SHUT UP!
    Man: (yelling to all the other workers) Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP, HELP, I’M BEING REPRESSED!
    Arthur: (letting go and walking away) Bloody PEASANT!
    Man: Oh, what a giveaway! Did’j’hear that, did’j’hear that, eh? That’s
    what I’m all about! Did you see ‘im repressing me? You saw it,
    didn’t you?!

  • Wakin’ & Bakin’

    With the HNJ Dads at fantasy camp & a farewell to Smooth at Renaissance, only three PAX were up for Sweaty Bells this morning. Nonetheless the beat down must go on.

    Disclaimer (no FNGs) and a warm-up of SSH x10 without Gabby as he rolled in hot. Arm-circles x10 both ways, grass grabbers x10, halos x10 both ways & around the back x10 again both ways.

    First COP: Side Lunge R with kettle-bell press x10 then L x10, POP & curls x10 OYO, Swings x5, R rows x5, Swings x5, L rows X5 then repeat swing/row sequence.

    Bear crawls moving the kettle-bell with right arm halfway across soccer field then left arm back.

    Second COP: Sumo squat to inverted row x10, Rotations on knees x10, Shoulder press right arm on right knee x10, Rotations on knees x10, shoulder press left arm on left knee x10

    5 swings, throw kettle-bell then frog hop to kettle-bell repeat across field. Crab walk backwards moving kb with R arm back to other end of field.

    Third COP: Squats x10, Chest Presses x10, thrusters x10, Squat hold with kb presses x10, Squat to curls x10

    Crab walk backwards moving kb with L arm then walk back.

    Fourth COP: POP & curls x10, Squat jumps to curls x10, Overhead press x10, Squat hold with curls x10, Tea pots R & L x10

    Mary: RT with an evil overhead press during each rotation x10, LBCx with KBs x15 & Flutters with KBs x20

    A very small COT for the count-off, name-o-rama & prayer.

    P.S. drink mushroom coffee if you forget your keys

  • SPMILB?

    Tsunami was consistent again with a PAX of 5. Bad Moon could have pushed us over the average but decided instead to run down St. Charles on a solo mission.

    Moseyed through Tulane in a tight secret service formation whilst discussing fine dining with the Hell’s Angels. Ended up on top, well 4th floor, of Wolfpack Hill for our warm-up: SSH x20, windmills x20, grass grabbers x10

    Then onto BLIMPs – ran down a floor, backwards up the ramp & started with 5 burpees and ended with 30 squats. Substituted IW with Imperial squat walkers for added fun.

    Quick mary after squats: RFM x20

    Next onto SPMILBs – ran down the stars, hit the 1 and backup & started with 30 squats down to 5 burpees, continued to sub the IW with ISW.

    Another quick mary: Dying cockroach x20

    Mosyed to the benches: Dips x20, RLPU x10, RLSU x15, RLBSL x10, DIPS x15, LLPU x10, LLSU x15, LLBSL x10, finished with 10 Derkins OYO

    Last stop at the TD Jesus: Flutter Kicks x20, LBT x20 & RT x10

    Back to flag for count-off, name-o-rama & prayer.

    Plenty of room on Tuesdays Uptown…

  • Hello Ladies

    “You guys make me so happy” – lady in the park

    “So many men and so little time” – lady at PJs

    “Go to the monkey bar, that’s where she stops….I’d pay to have her body slam me.” – Angie’s List

    urban dictionary –

    hello ladies
    what u say when u enter a room full of either
    a. nothing but fine women
    b. nothing but dorky guys
    c. one girl and more than 3 guys

    15 pax showed up for monday morning beatdown and a bit of flaunting for the ladies of Uptown.

    Quick disclaimer then moseyed to the bandstand. Warm-up: SSH x20, IW x15, Grass grabbers x15

    Moseyed to the track – Ran two running men then three burpees stopping at 12 burpees.

    COP #1 – 12 merks, 12 RTs (the ole Valdimirs) & 12 squats

    Back to track for another round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12.

    COP #2 – 12 shoulder taps, 12 LBT & 12 Lunges

    Another round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12 stopping at the benches.

    COP # 3 – 12 Derkins, 12 RFM, 12 LLSU, 12 RLSU & 12 Dips

    Prisoner run to the green for Mary: 20 Flutters, 15 hello dollys, 15 high dollys, 15 parker peters on elbows, 15 peter parkers

    Last round of two running men, 3 burpees up to 12 stopping at the monkey bars. Four groups – 12 pull-ups, RTs, merks & jump sqauts

    Ran back on the track to flag for plank-o-rama & 20 sec MI.

    Count-off, name-o-rama & prayer.

    Thanks for starting the week off right.

  • Disobeying the Book of Revit

    Rule #1: No burpees on Mondays

    Over 20 PAX gathered on a not-so-gloomy morning to hear a half-assed disclaimer by the Q. With a mosey over to the bandstand, a brief warm-up COP:

    SSH x20, Seal-Jacks X20, Arm circles forward X12, backwards X only 10, moroccan dance clubs x10, IW x10, HB x10

    On the the track for a double-time indian run to the rows. At the rows: 12 Burpees are the count for the rotation: Burpees, Peter Parkers, Jump Squats, Parker Peters & Rows

    Back to track for another Indian Run – stopping halfway to the benches for another 12 Burpees

    Prisoner run to the benches: RLSU x20, Dips X20, LLSU x20, Derkins x10

    Another Prisoner Run to the green: Russian Twists x20, Flutter Kicks x15, Penguins x20 & Real FMs x15

    Last Indian Run to the monkey bars: OYO – 10 pull-ups, 20 Burpees & 30 running men

    Back to the flag for plank-o-rama & 20 seconds of MI

    Count off, name-o-rama & a prayer of thanks, health and safe travels

  • Not F’ing Around

    Seven PAX showed up to arguably the “toughest workout in town”.

    After a brief disclaimer we mosyed to the Tulane ring of power for the warm up: SSH x20, IW x20, arm circles forward x10, backwards x10, Chinooks clockwise x10, counterclockwise x10, Seal Jacks x20 & Hillbillies x20

    Mosyed to the benches by Tulane’s lawn (currently brown & steamy) for running power leg ups on the bench – right leg down the bench and left leg back.

    Then moseyed around the brown lawn to the green & extremely wet lawn for a round of 7s: knee slapping jump squats on one end with crossfit merkins at the other. For added fun, we did five burpees everytime we crossed the middle for a total of 60.

    Back to the benches for a little more leg work: RLSU x20, RL Bulgarian Split Lunge x10, Bruce Lee’s x10, Dips x20, LLSU x20, LLBSL x10, Decline Shoulder Taps x10 & Decline Merkins x10

    Lastly back to the ring of power for a jam packed two minutes of mary but not before 20 monkey humpers. Mary: Flutter kicks x20, box cutters x20, tin snips x20 & hello dolly x20

    Back to the bricks (sans flag): count-off, name-o-rama, announcements (read Yank’s email) & a prayer.

    Good times on a Tuesday…

  • But under the circumstances I’ll settle for anywhere.

    A nice brisk, soggy Monday morning in the park working off the copious amount of popeyes consumed over the weekend. 11 pax gathered for the disclaimer then a mosey to bandstand.

    At the bandstand: SSH x20, MDC x10, FAC x10, RAC x10, PP x20, PP x20, MC x20, SJ x20

    Mosey back to track with Medulla taking a extremely quick detour to the pristine facilities in the shelter.

    On the track: Burpee at the running man going up by one to the 9th man: 45 total burpees

    Three groups, three rotations at the rows: 1) rows, 12 squat jumps & flutter kicks, 2) rows, 12 Bobby Hurleys, & hello dollys, 3) rows, 12 LLS & RFMs – (after the 1st rotation a nice old lady ask if we wanted to “kiss down there” – unsure if she was looking for a good time or referring to her dog.) Nevertheless, the pax & especially the Q trudged back to the track a bit confused.

    At the track: Reverse it: Running backwards to each running man 8 burpees down to 1, total of 36 burpees

    At the row of lights, a quick two minute plank-o-rama

    Mosey to the shelter for some bench work: RLSU x20, Dips x15, RLPU x20 (with an O face halt), Incline merkins x10, LLSU x20, Dips x15, LLPU x20

    Finished with Mary: RT x20, Eblow plank PP x20, Scissors x20 & Crunchy Frog x20

    At the flag: count-off, name-o-rama, & prayer

    Good start to the week…thanks