F3 New Orleans

Author: Bushwacker

  • The Time Trial That Never Was

    Waterpik was waiting in his wagon-dragger; YHC was parking askew; Akbar was approaching with a headlight out that he kept remembering to forget to change; Cowbell was nearing, earnestly on time; Burgundy was sneaking up irregularly – regularly late….and Shooter was sleeping through his alarm.

    WARMORAMA

    x10-15 IC: High Knees, Windmills, Torso Twists, Scorpion Kicks, Fire Hydrants

    THANG

    With the regular route on tap this gloom (plus Cowbell’s marathon-training scheduled lagniappe), the crew of rambling scramblers took off at an unintentional and surprising slightly sub-8:00 pace. A mile in, Cowbell took off for the first of his 6 1-minute sprints, YHC found his pace quickening a tic, and the rest of the PAX settled into a 3 man pack going 8:15-8:35 discussing the mouth-gaping happenings in the world of sports and the world at large resulting from the Covid-19 calamity.

    MARY

    As Cowbell ran back and forth past the flag like a lab rat trpped in a straight tunnel, the PAX first took turns doing 10 pull ups while the rest alternated between Freak Nasties and Merkins. After 2 rounds, we switched to Hanging Knee Ups while doing Freddy Mercuries and Flutter Kicks

    COT

    Count, Name, Waterpik Prayed us out into a fist-bumpin’ day in our fistbumpin’ world.

    REMINDER: the 1st F3 Northshore Lunch will be tomorrow, Friday 3/13/20, at Whole Foods at noon.

  • Episode II: I Am Your Father Yoda! OR Ain’t Nobody Humpin’ Around

    For the 2nd time in a week, 10 year old Baby Yoda stepped up to lead the Northshore PAX, this time co-Qing with his pappy, YHC. His reflections the following day (other than “Owww I’m sore”) were, “That was fun,” and, “I like telling the old guys what to do.” Well this is one old guy who likes anyone telling him what to do, so long as it results in good times and growth. And speaking of…

    PRE-THANG

    Being the last Saturday of RRR, these 2 miles held more desperate relevance to some than to others, but regardless, it was as strong a showing as ever.

    WARM-O-RAMA

    BY started us off with x15 IC:

    SSH, Imperial Walkers, Cherry Pickers, Mountain Climbers, Plank Jacks

    x5 T Merkins OYO

    x5 Burpess OYO

    THANG

    Mosey to the Gazebo for:

    A round of 100 Circle Burps while holding Al Gore,

    A round of 100 Circle Merkins while holding Plank

    Mosey to the Unit where it was time for Pappa’s Brand New Bag as QIC 2 handed back off to QIC 1 for the Tripple Check:

    In groups of 3, 1st man sprints 50 yards out and 50 back, while 2nd man holds plank and 3rd man hold Al Gore. Upon returning 1st man get to the back of the line and into Al Gore and so on. Repeat for 3 rounds.

    Mosey to Lafitte where the PAX of 19 circled up once again, this time for Circle Travolta Merkins – Merkin, 1-arm Plank with right arm high, reach under and accross body, and back up before returning to plank. Around the circle once, then reverse direction back this time with left arm high.

    With only one PAX within quick moseying distance, it was a fairly brief run as it was time for the inaugural Tour de Humpers! Mosey north on Lafitte where, upon reaching the corner of Lafitte/Claiborne PAX did 10 Burpees(?) OYO. Continued on for another 100 feet before reaching Casa de Breve`, disturbing Mrs. Breve`, and lining up across the street facing (with an upside down view) Steve’s gracious M for x20 IC Monkey Humpers!

    Ain’t nobody humpin’ around!

    Back on course to Claiborne /Girod for another exercise, and one last stop at our former coffeeteria site, Kona, to show them what F3 Northshore thinks of their “toxic” environment.

    MARY

    Back at the flag earlier than planned, co-Q’s laid forth an abdominal smack down for 15 minutes that was certain to have hit its mark.

    COT

    Count/Name/Our mysterious F3 “out-of-town” stranger prayed us out in his slightly baritone, solemn country twang before fading back into the gloom.

    On behalf of myself and Baby Yoda, many thanks, gentlemen, for following our lead and providing the example of strength and unity that so many men, especially myself, need in their life.

  • Mosey You Shall

    A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….

    It is a period of civil war. A young rebel PAX, striking from the hidden base of Wacker Fortress, stepped forth to claim his 1st victory against the evil empty Q sheet.

    During the battle, rebel spies witnessed IC x15: Cherry Pickers, Imperial Walkers, Torso Twists, High knees, and Squats done with enough power to destroy an entire planet.

    Pursued by the Empire’s sinister agents, the PAX races along the usual Mandeville route aboard their swift feet, custodians of the stolen plans that can save their people and restore freedom to F3 Northshore…

    Upon their return, they each did reps at an exercise station while 2 men did 5 Burpees, 10 Freak Nasties, and 15 Squats – then rotated.

    With the Empire still at their heels, the rebel PAX counted off, name o rama, and were lead safely out of evil’s reach by Hammer.

    It is still a dark time for F3 Northshore. Although the Death Star has been destroyed, imperial troops have driven Baby Yoda from his hidden base in Big Branch and pursued him across St. Tammany Parish.

    Evading the dreaded imperial star fleet, a group of freedom fighters lead by Baby Yoda, Bushwacker, Steve, Goose, and the other F3 rebels has established new Q sign ups on the desolate and icy Q sheet.

    The evil Lord Darth Fartsack, obsessed with keeping the Q sheet empty, has dispatched thousands of remote probes into the far reaches of the northshore to find out why so many PAX are refusing to put forth the down PAINMENT as a leader of men…. as 10 year old Baby Yoda has…..

    Stay tuned for Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Saturday at the Lakefront

  • Hurry up and Hang Around

    The pre-thang ranged from 1-3 miles and EVERYBODY was running around somewhere! The eventuality of 3 groups of sub-PAX converging on the flag(s) within the cock’s crow of 6am gave way to the somewhat unorthodox beatdown that went something like this…

    THANG

    Gathered in the driest area near the flag, the PAX commenced to SSH while Sir Einstein the Gallant galloped to the rock garden area and back, an approximate 10th of a mile. And so it went, changing exercises, as each man departed and returned. These included Imperial Walkers, Windmills, High Knees, Overhead Claps, and Scorpion Kicks.

    After moseying to the Justice center, the PAX continued to exercise in the absence of each man who, in turn, ran on back to the rock garden area before rejoining his comrades. Fully and properly warmed up, the next set of exercise included Merkins, Jump Squats, Groiners, Burpees, Monkey Humpers, Carolina Dry Docks, and Apollo OH NOs.

    Staying with the same running route, the PAX next made use of the stone benches in their midst by doing Box Jumps, Freak Nasties, Hop Overs, Irkins, In & Outs, Dirkins, and Prayer Squats.

    So as not to ignore a perfectly good set of steps, the PAX carried on doing L Calf Raises, R Calf Raises, Irkin Plank, and “Step Up/Step Down”. QIC and Cowbell ran out of time and so ran an extra lap on the way back to the flag where…

    COT

    Count/Name/Einstein prayed us out with customary short, sweet and to the point words.

    I know we didn’t do much but stand around in a few different places, but I appreciate y’all following along any how!

  • Round RRR Robin-ing ‘Round the Marsh

    And so it came to be that 50% of today’s PAX found themselves running to the Marsh in the gloom. After all, it’s February. And, while most anywhere else that statement may require a bit more explanation to cover the nuance, round these parts…’nuff said.

    THANG

    So after gathering at center court, the Warm-O-rama became the Thang and the Thang became the Warm-O-rama, as the collective PAX returned to the street to tour Old Mandeville a la Wednesday night’s F2 beatdown. Moseying here and there, each man took a turn, at Q’s random call, to lead a round of an exercise of his choosing. With the 1st round being reserved for those exercises belonging to the warm up class, it was an easy going first mile or so filled with revolving mumble chatter of the most casual nature. And when the leash was removed, and Shooter commenced in dishing out a round of OYO Burpees, the continuously elevated heart rates climbed ever higher.

    MARY

    After the whip that cracked thunder upon our collective heads was passed all the way around, center court was reestablished as our base where we gained our 6 and blasted our common core with what was left in the chamber.

    COT

    count/name/Q prayed us out

    Thanks gents for roamin’, ramblin’ and rangerin’ with this simple man in the gloom of the place we all call home.

  • Smile for the Camera

    YHC decided that today would be the perfect opportunity to try out his new action camera. Perhaps this could be a new feature for the F3 website. Perhaps with Steve’s editing prowess the PAX of the Northshore could be a You Tube sensation! Perhaps YHC should have made sure the battery was fully charged.

    PRE THANG

    A solid crew ran the out-n-back 2 mile route to get the morning started with good rhythm.

    WARMORAMA

    A brief, but full-body-appropriate warm up consisting of:

    Goofballs

    Cherry Pickers

    Torso Twists

    High Knees

    Fire Hydrants

    Scorpion Kicks

    THANG

    Starting at the south end of Marigny, the PAX did x10 Burpees OYO then ran north to the next corner, planking to wait for the 6. Then x10 Burpees and x20 Squats – run north again. x10 Burpees, x20 Squats, x30 Putins. And so you see the pattern forming: x10 chest , x20 legs, x30 core north to the trace, over to Lamarque, and again southbound. Merkins/Lunges/Crunchy Frogs, T Merkins/Apollo OHnos/Flutter Kicks, Diamond Merkins/Copper Head Squats/100s, Partner Clap Merkins/Step Ups/Extended Plank

    Back at the flag, Q more broadly introduced the Motivator – a single count, decreasing, arm-level descending exercise that is sure to take you on a ride on the “pain train” (a la Akbar). Starting at 10 for each arm level, counting down to 1 with no rest. I can’t wait to hear about the cornucopia of calf soreness plaguing the PAX over the next day or 2.

    MARY

    LMCs (lil MANNY crunches)

    Freddy Mercurys

    E2K

    Banana/Superman

    To include Cowbell the 10mile man , who wandered up like a glowing beacon in the gloom, we wrapped up with a Circle Burp with SSH

    COT

    Count/Name

    Grundy’s Nightmare AFTER Christmas tomorrow at 1pm?

    Mick prayed us out.

    Thanks for coming out to join the communal casualties of the Saturday morning Lakefront beatdown, and for pushing yourselves under my humble leadership. Until next time…

    SYITG

    Author’s note: I apologize if I missed anyone. YHC is used to weekday PAX;)

  • Krazy Ivan III

    Well, it may not have been how EiEi originally imagined it, but on this January night the weather couldn’t have been much better, especially considering the threat of torrential rain from the west. The PAX began to gather after sun set as the electricity of the evening’s main event began to spark and hum along the lake front in Old Mandeville. Brethren from the southern reaches were welcomed with open arms as old friends reunited and new friendships were soon to be forged in sweat, adrenaline and beer.

    With a large contingent of The World slipping in under the wire, the tense anticipation simply could not have been any sharper. F3 fellows of all stripes were mulling about when, without warning, the score keeper’s cow bell (speaking of conspicuously absent) rang out in a clanging cacophony sending the runners off into the night.

    Now, every man ran his own race. Some took off faster than they oughta, while some found their rhythm and pace quickly. Some could’ve gone another mile, while some dropped to the earth at the finish line. Whether he completed 1, 2, or 3 laps, every man put the hay in the barn.

    Special recognition in the HEART category goes to SOGO, who, shortly before completing the 1st half of his 1st lap, caught a pot hole near the “horse-shoe playground” and suffered a severe ankle sprain. YHC, personally, would have called it then and there, thinking of the work week ahead, but this specimen of fortitude got his happy ass up and, not only finished his remaining 2.6 laps, but finished in 13th place!

    The Top 10 finishers were as follows:

    1. In Time

    2. Catfish

    3. The Hammer

    4. Speedy Gonzalez

    5. Bushwacker

    6. Beignet

    7. Steve

    8. Zoolander

    9. Belloq

    10. Brushburn

    With 60% of the top 10 finishers one might expect the Northshore (God’s Country) to have reclaimed the Freedom Hammer, but, alas, it was not to be this year. The dramatic announcement of the results by THE Manny sent shock waves through the reveling crowd, making disbelievers of both North shore and some South shore PAX alike. For the record, after two recounts, concessions were finally made with the the original tally of 366 to 288 verified.

    And so another year of trash talking and insidious photo bombing by the World’s hard-won spoils lies ahead. There’s still the summer time interlude of the trophy-less Gnarly Nutria to look forward to before we prime up the orchestra for the Krazy Ivan IV: Drago’s Revenge. Until then, thank you to everyone who showed up for some fun competition and fellowship. CSAUP stands for completely stupid and utterly pointless, but we who participate know that there’s nothing pointless to gathering, growing, and bonding; pushing ourselves and leading by example. Until next year…

    SYITG

  • Lazy Q

    WARMORAMA

    20x SSH

    20x Imperial Walkers

    1 Squat/1 Leg Swing…up to 5 OYO

    THANG

    Run to the end of the pier and back (cut the loo[p out of the normal route)…plan was to go easy and get some good recovery in with the Krazy Ivan coming up.

    COOL-O-RAMA

    52 Crunchy Frogs IC

    Shooter-lead restorative yoga to finish up

    COT

    count off, name o rama

    Thanks, guys, for putting up with my lazy Q and to Bushwacker for posting my BB. If that’s not the laziest Q you ever saw I don’t know what is…

  • Akbar Invents an Exercise

    In searching the F3 ether for a titular experience from today’s Marsh beatdown, there were many to choose from. Unfortunately none of them really spoke to me. That is until I rewound the footage in my brain and saw our own Akbar slapping the ground in gorilla fashion…you’ll see.

    WARM O RAMA

    Continuous stream of F Arm Circles, R Arm Circles, Cherry Pickers, Overhead Claps, and Air Presses followed by Imperial Walkers, Windmills, Torso Twists, and 20 crunchy frogs

    THANG

    The Motivator – they laughed… but not for long! – 10 full SSH, shoulder level, down and out, then hands at sides, then 9 each, then 8, etc, non stop

    Next we circled up and did continuous High Knees while each man took a turn at: 5 burpees, 5Bobby Hurleys, 5 Monkey Humpers*, 5Clerkins (hand clap merkins), 5 Imperial Squat Walkers, 5 Pull Ups over at the playground

    *Akbar started us off and , thus, was the 1st man to start each new exercise. When it came time for monkey humpers (an exercise conspicuously absent during his tenure to this point), he was unfamiliar enough that he squated down an started slapping the ground like a worked up ape. Our collective snickers queued him to try to modify and began , with arms outstretched head of him, doing ankle-propelled hops in the low squat position – quite an amphibious feat. The Akbar Hop? The Troubled Toad?

    Mosey to the lake for 10 Freak Nasties, 10 derkins, 10 Freak Nasties, 10 Derkins, 20 more Cowbell-lead Crunchy Frogs, 10 Freak Nasties and 10 Irkins before moseying back to the Marsh.

    MARY

    Australian Sweat Angels (lookin’ at you Shooter;)

    100s

    E2Ks – L&R

    Never Cross Dolly – Hello Dollies with arms in Iron Cross position

    Little Manny Crunches

    Cowbell was kind enough to close us out with just 10 Crunchy Frogs

    COT

    Count/Name Crunch Frog Cowbell prayed us out after YHC reminded those present of the impending Krazy Ivan this Saturday at 7pm

    Thanks for following my goofy yet challenging lead today guys. It’s always a sign of a great beatdown when every man breaks a sweat and gets a chuckle in the same session!

  • Scramble You Must

    With rain greeting the sound of the alarm and the holiday malaise haze not fully cleared, YHC had a feeling attendance would be wanting. However, with a 2.0 FNG, it was guaranteed to be no sad clown affair!

    WARMORAMA

    X10 IC: SSH, High Knees, Butt Kicks, Imperial Waller’s, Fire Hydrants

    4 scramblers ran the regular route at a most leisurely pace, with Pik and Steve circling back for the 6 at Monroe on the way back to keep the group relatively in tact.

    MARY

    Bringing home a souvenir from F3 NATX,

    The Motivator – downward progression of SSH, change of arm position as you decrease count. X25 Putins, x25 Freddy Mercuries, x20 100s, x20 LBCs

    Count/Name – naming of FNG Baby Yoda, welcome! Waterlpik prayed us out. Thanks for being F3 Northshore guys, and Happy new Year!