F3 New Orleans

Author: Bushwacker

  • Long Lost Pelican and the Ubiquitous Captain

    As the latest CSAUP is nigh upon us, 3 of the bold participants gathered in the frigid gloom to do what we do here in F3, for ourselves and for our brothers -get the heart rates up and micro-tear a little muscle. You see, the thing about obstacle races is that there’s a lot of running, but its broken up intermittently by various physical challenges. And so, in a mildly similar fashion we proceeded to scramble.

    After seeing the important-yet-forgotten dimension of fitness that Chewy has brought back with his recent Qs, I decided to start things off with some intentional ballistic stretching. Once we got going, the idea was that at random moments YHC would say STOP! and call out an OYO exercise for the PAX to knock out. The 1st instance was 25 merkins within the 1st block of our run. A couple of blocks later came 25 squats. Next was 10 burpees. With the power of the pied piper, I reversed the usual route, taking us to sunset point 1st. At the end of the pier we jumped on the benches for 25 calf raises. Our boisterous activity spooked a pelican perched on the rail, who found another section of rail closer to shore. The pelican may have gone away, but we knew he couldn’t STAY away (Where you at Pelican?)

    Now, YHC finds, and the PAX would certainly concur, that our F3 runs are enjoyable spans of time based , especially, on the the company of our F3 brothers. This morning that could not have been more true for the sudden and abruptly unexpected appearance of Captain Sparkles, who, dressed in his fisherman’s finest, jumped out from behind a bush with a loud AAAAGGGHH! as we cleared the end of the pier. While Shooter and I were certainly given a bit of a shock, poor Steve, who was closest to the perp,  barely escaped the experience with clean drawz LOL. A life-long fireman, Sparkles had to  flex his pranking muscles before he shoved of with Turtle and a group of guys making for an off-shore fishing trip.

    Having recovered our sensibilities, we stopped for 50 LBCs (DISCLAIMER: events may or may not have happened in the exact order YHC currently recalls). Upon exiting the sunset point gates, we took advantage of a 2 foot tall section of concrete to grab 25 incline merkins. Along the subdivision loop we knocked out 25 toes touches to stay at our peak of nimbleness. At some point Shooter’s off hand comment having something to do with “core” and “back” inspired 25 supermans. And finally, at Florida (Hwy 190) we dropped to the invitingly soft grass for 25 heal pulses (heals to heaven).

    After proper consideration, we decided to shut things down officially before moving on to anything else with COT: count-o-rama, name-o-rama, announce-o-ramma, and prayer-o-ramma (thank you Steve). I always enjoy my F3 beat downs, but there’s something appreciably special when I get to experience it with, what could arguably be considered the true core of the northshore, Steve and Shooter. Thank you gentlemen for following this pied piper’s little ditty in this star-filled gloom – the honor is all mine.

    AND THEN…

    LAGNIAPPE: 3 ISI participants can’t walk away without knocking out the challenge of the day. Specifically, 1 minute decline plank followed immediately by 1 minute of derkins….followed immediately by 3 strong, proud, adult fathers collapsed in heaps on the pine needle-covered ground. good times!

  • AB-solutely Appreciative

    “I believe that every human mind feels pleasure in doing good to another” Thomas Jefferson

    And it was, indeed, a pleasure doing a good job whooping on the the PAX this morning!

    Warm-o-rama:

    Air Squared (people’s chair with seal claps) x20

    21s – SSH in cadence, 1-5 out loud, 6-21 in our heads. Shooter drew a yellow flag  by starting #22, so we dropped for 5 merkins and gave it another shot. An antsy Tanked Up tried throwing some accusations Water Pic(k)’s way, but the PAX wasn’t having a round 3.

    We finished up with a cameo from our ISI AMRAP, courtesy of Turbo Tax. Single-leg lateral hops, 1 minute each leg.

    The Thang:

    After moseying to Marigny and partnering up (thanks Beast for showing up late to even out our number), YHC unveiled the as-yet-unperfected Bushwacker’s Ladder. Using the 6 telephone poles as markers, while P1 did merkins at 1st pole, p2 bear crawled to second pole and proceeded to do merkins while p1 bear crawled to meet him. Proceeding thusly, burpees/ sprint, alt single leg lunge/ high step, plank/squat walk, and finally p1 &p2 together SSHed laterally to the last pole.  To get back to the lakefront p1 carried p2 half way, then switched to complete the journey.

    We mosied towards the little bridge near the “beach”, but, after realizing it was a farther mosey than YHC realized, we broke it up with a quick set of 25 merkins.

    At the bridge we secured our feet under the bottom rail and busted out 20 or so sit ups. Now realizing the agony of my decision to both our feet and tail bones, we shifted over to the grass for 25 LBCs and 25 Heels to Heavens.

    Half-way along our return mosey we stopped for an invigorating game of F3 Pinocle (f3nation.com’s spelling not mine). In a circle each PAX was issued before him 5 cards (though time only allotted the use of 3 each) from my son’s deck of average, non-playboy playing cards . Each at a time flipped and we all performed however many reps as the number on the card (A=20), with the suite determining the exercise: Heart = merkin, Spade = squat, Diamond = burpee, and Club = putin. Mostly putins, very few burpees, and only 1 Ace. YHC would like to think he wasn’t alone in being APPRECIATIVE that we did 3 rounds instead of all 5, as a revealing of the remaining unturned cards produced such terrors as the A of spades, A of hearts, and the dreaded A of diamonds.

    Mary:

    (2) 10x Outlaws aka OOOOH Marys (Someone check for security footage from Don’s!)

    25x Freddy Mercurys

    20x Feddy Flutters

    3 minute plank, while I expounded on my appreciation for the fine gentlemen who surrounded me, those who could not post today, and the F3 organization as a whole. We should never be so far gone as to lose sight of the gifts we’ve been blessed with.

    As a parting gift, the chiseled brother fresh on his journey into his 60th year on this planet, graced us and the Mandeville Lakefront public with a brief, but titillating, strip tease of male dancing as only a landscaper could!

    YHC prayed us out with more urgings of appreciation for all things precious

    Gentlemen, it was an honor and a pleasure

    Thanks for the generosities of Shooter

  • No Batman, All Robin (with a little bit of Voltron)

    If ever any of you guys watched cartoons in the mid eighties (or 2010’s as it’s been remade), you may remember Voltron: Defender of the Universe! This precursor to the Power Rangers idea of separate robots fighting bad guys then combining to form a badass robot to take on the main villain was playing nostalgically in my mind as we  passed a Mardi Gras morning at Grandmother’s House. You see, each lion would come from a different environment: volcano, jungle ocean, dessert, and  cave. Similarly, each member of the PAX came rolling in on feet or wheels from their own point of origin, and three of the four brought their own flavor (it must have been THE Manny’s birthday because we all brought him  beatdown presents;)

    There was a warmup lead by Steve (the black lion)

    I recall some seal jacks, windmills, perhaps imperial walkers, and I think we started with good mornings (all too apropros)

    He then brought us to the end of the covered walk way leading to the stairs where we teamed up: p1 sprint to 4th column for 25 merkins, then run backwards to his starting point to tag his partner. Meanwhile, p2 is doing peter parkers. Next round to the 8th column for 50 plank jacks, with p2 doing squats. Final round, to the end, mountain climbers (was that each leg Steve?) and more peter parkers.

    With the blood really flowing, Shooter  (the yellow lion) led us on a mosey to the marsh where we each took a station and rotated until we had all completed each one. Station #1 was monkey bars A & B, pull up and laterally traverse each consecutive set of bars, while…..station #2 was dipping during monkey bars A and Australian pull upping during monkey bars B. Station #3was at the swing set doing the poor man’s TRX: feet on the swing , hands on the ground, knees in and out. Final station on the court was bear crawl to half court and crab walk the rest of the way. Next, we ran a set of suicides and a lil’ rinse and repeat. Back to Grandma’s…..

    I (the red lion) took the PAX to my favorite place – AB CLAAAAASS! Starting with a newly invented exercise, I conservatively put us a about mid column and, once again in teams, p2 held p1’s feet while p1 did a sit up. Immediately, p2 spins around and onto his 6, while p1 runs in front to hold p2’s feet for another sit up. This progression was continued until reaching the stairs. Sit up Caterpillar? Ab Crawl? Indian Sit up? Name, I suppose, to be determined. With precious few minutes remaining, I brought the pain: All 25 count IC, freddy flutters,  LBCs, and 100s.

    count, name, announce, pray.

    For the record, THE Manny was the blue lion, and we were green lion-less

    The Voltron Force
    • Keith – leader of the group and pilot of the Black Lion.
    • Lance – hot-headed ace who pilots the Red Lion.
    • Pidge – young genius who pilots the Green Lion.
    • Sven – stoic pilot who initially flies the Blue Lion.
    • Hunk – muscular yet soft-hearted mechanic who pilots the Yellow Lion.

     

  • *Workout of the Underground F3 Renegades*

    This is a broadcast of the clandestine underground F3 network:

    AO: Planet Fitness

    QIC: Captain Sparkles

    PAX: Bushwacker, Captain Sparkles

    This movement is not so much a resistance as an addendum; iron sharpening iron while lifting iron!

    Thang:

    Tapping a few ISI moves from late last year, we performed a regression of merkins and sit ups, OYO 50 each, 35 each, and 15 each totaling 100 each without stopping.

    Over to the dumbbells for 3 sets of a circuit consisting of 10 dumbbell curls , 10 one-arm overhead tricep extensions, and 10 dumbbell flies. We then moved to the smith machine to grunt out 4 10 rep sets of shoulder shrugs. We wrapped up the resistance training portion of the beatdown with 3 10 rep sets of machine-isolated single arm bicep curls.

    With the run ranger run mission always looming , we jumped on the treadmills for 3 miles of air-conditioned cardio.

     

    We’re keeping our antenae up for signals from any possible outlaws interested in joining the cause, at no cost, in Covington, at planet fitness….

    [THIS BACKBLAST WILL SELF_DESTRUCT IN 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…….]

  • well, hello mr. turtle!

    I, and many of my F3 brethren, have rolled in hot at the last minute, but never have I pushed the boundaries so far as to be tardy! Fortunately,  between my text and flashing of brights from blocks away, Captain Sparkles and Shooter knew to wait for the Wacker.  We pre-thanged a quick 2 mile run (despite what my mapmyrun app wanted us to believe) and were greeted upon our return by diesel fumes and over-cab lights of the man himself, Mr. Turtle (spoken in Shooter’s best imitative drawl).  And just to prove that YHC is not the only man who suffers from an occasional bout of RBS, or “Runner’s Bowel Syndrome”, Captin Sparkles availed himself of the Marsh’s facilities while the rest of us, respecting the time, got down to it.

    Thang:

    Each man did a solo circuit of 25 merkins, 10 pull ups, 25 freak nasties, and 25 squats while the remaining jabronies were cranking out endless LBCs.  Next, with tracking apps tracking, we mosied over to grandmother’s house where, while the restless crowd was planked up, each man took a turn to run  the length of the covered area, up the tower stairs, back down, and returned to tag the next man. The next mosey took us back to the marsh…AUDIBLE…all the way to the lake front. YHC and Shooter pulled up to the water ready to plank up in anticipation of Captain Sparkles’ and Turtle’s arrival when we looked back to see we were all alone in the gloom. With nary a moment to spare, we dropped for 10 burpees each and  got while the gettin’ was good. I believe the offical story had something to do with the amount of time remaining being insufficient for Mr. Turtle to make it there and back, and Captain Sparkles, always a shining example, adhered to the no man left behind policy that we hold so dear in F3.

    We counted, we named, we prayed, we mumble chattered.

    Thank you, gents, for stepping up this gloom to follow my humble lead….your abs can thank me tomorrow?

  • The Marsh as an Endangered Habitat or Blue Mondays?

    “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” Martin Luther King Jr

    As I laid in bed last night I decided I wasn’t going to make it to the Marsh because between the comfort of my best friend in college (my bed not my wife;) and the long weekend I had had, I knew the 4 o’clock hour would look as hideous a dog’s petoot! But a sudden thought urged me to see who had Q before I drifted off, and low and behold, “Bushwacker” was filled in for the 1/22 slot. Apparently, many of my F3 brethren had similar machinations because I experienced my 1st no-show (unless someone came REALLY late, in which case, my apologies).

    Though it is no longer MLK day, and I’m certainly no Steve, I included the quote to inspire you guys to intentionally find a way to help another today, plus I did 50 merkins before I returned home make the kids’ lunches and put on some coffee for my wife. Often our closing prayer mentions appreciation for the men who come out to improve themselves and push us to do the same. Today’s beatdown is all about working the heart muscle, go out of your way to do for others today!

  • Pre-Crazy Ivan Quick-Step

    Has it gotten to the point yet (can it really ever) to where it’s passe, redundant, or simply monotonous to mention anything about the frigid temperatures we’ve been facing this winter? I didn’t think so either….It was DAMN COLD this morning! All the better reason to abbreviate this morning’s edition of The Captain’s Cove in anticipation of the juice we’ll need for our legs when the northshore’s honor is on the line tomorrow night at the inaugural Crazy Ivan. Despite halving the regularly scheduled 10k to a 5k, YHC  knew I would be pushed to the brink with the rest of the PAX consisting of members of F3 Northshore’s “8 minute mile club.” After all guys, I’m not really a runner…

    We quite quickly rolled off countorama/namorama, and with expedited efficiency we prayed a plainly direct prayer of appreciation and were off. Instead of the regular route, we just went the length of lakeshore dr. and back. T claps to Ei who eventually hung back for the slow mosier among us (I won’t mention any names), and tried his hardest to run slowly enough to stay with him.  Great run this morning guys, and an even better run tomorrow night! (hopefully with Butt Splice and Backdraft among us)

  • Can’t Argue With the Math

    “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”

    -Vince Lombardi

    No man with an F3 moniker is below average because we define our average by the company we keep. But it can be especially lifting to the spirit of motivation and self-accomplishment to be considered by your peers to be above-average. As humans, the one thing we all strive for is consistency – in our work, in our ethics, in anything we deem positive in our lives. At Captain’s Cove, as we strive for the consistency in maintaining and improving our fitness, we get that much closer to excellence in fraternity and friendship. EiEi has a magical way with words and perspective that can truly open your eyes to how things are supposed to be. Captain Sparkles is a source of drive, compassion, and leadership that his every action displays like a neon sign. Shooter, by his very nature, is a best friend to everyone he meets (fatherly flaws and all;). Yet as we chase perfection, we are lapped by The Mick and Round-Up and their running crew with their 8 minute miles. We see that there are levels beyond above average and so the chase is never ending. Thanks to Shooter for pushing YHC above his average, to “Mr. Above Average” himself for pushing hard despite feeling less than optimal (and praying us IN), and to Ei for reminding us that we just can’t argue with the math!

  • Here, There, and Everywhere…TABATA!

    “Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Can you be thankful when it’s 5am, 35 degrees out, and you’re being lead randomly about old mandeville without much of a clue as to your next move? You can when you’re you’re with with your F3 brothers. The trails we blaze take us, as indirectly as possible, to all the successes we endeavor to achieve. We come out for ourselves, for our brothers, and for all of the men who will follow. I was thankful for Captain Sparkles and Pelican, and I hope they were thankful for me in the frigid gloom.

    The Thang

    It was a tabata run-around this AM as we started out with 4 sets of SSH/30 seconds with 10 seconds rest in between each. The first mosey took us from the marsh to the lake front where we did another 4 set tabata, this time with 2 sets of merkins and 2 of burpees. By the way, the already thankful PAX was awed by the natural beauty of the clear star-light sky, which graced us with a shooting star (add that to the plethora I’ve seen since joining F3 in August). We proceeded back to the marsh and hit another 4 sets, 2 of IW and 2 of butt kickers. Onward to the trace to visit the trail head (recently christened “Grandmother’s House”) for 2 sets of LBCs and 2  Freddy Mercuries,  then 2 squats ans 2 alternating lunges.  Upon final descent back into the marsh, we nailed some planks, left planks, right planks and back to the beautiful planks we started with.

    The Outro

    We counted off, sounded off, and showed respect to each man braving the cold. Reflecting on our reasons to be out there and our thankfulness for said reasons, said brothers, we closed out in anticipation of what this beautiful day held for each of us.

    Lagniappe

    With the mileage tally for the beatdown sitting at and uneven 1.82 miles(or there-abouts), YHC joined Captain Sparkles, who will NEVER settle for mediocrity, on a little bonus mosey to round our total to an even 3 miles. Thanks, Cap, for always leading by example!

  • …And Then There Were 3

    This morning I saw a side of Steve that I had yet to encounter – walking zombie of exhaustion! (though still cheerfully smiling). Of course, I had no room to talk, given that in my semi-slumbering state I mistook him proudly planting the F3 flag for scooping poop from our usual warmorama locale.

    Warmorama

    Arm Circles (10 forward, 10 reversed)

    Cherry Pickers (20x IC)

    WAIT!!!   Who should come flying around the corner and skidding into his parking spot like the dukes of hazard, but Burgundy! (excuse the artistic license, but suddenly he was there)

    Back to Cherry Pickers (40x IC)

    Seal Jacks (20x IC)

    SSH (20x IC)

    The Thang

    For the Yang to yesterday’s Yin, we mosied along the trace to Lamarque and pulled up to the Marsh where, thanks to Steve’s sage advise for great implementation of “rinse and repeat”, we mascochistically did: (OYO)

    25 merkins

    15 pullups

    10 box jumps

    25 derkins

    15 freak nasties

    10 1-legged squats (5 each leg)

    RINSE AND REPEAT

    Did I mention that Steve was bright and alert at this point?

    The 3 knights of the gloom took to the trace again to regain our positions at the trailhead. I had planned a team event consisting of cumulative calisthenics while alternating periods of cardiorespiratory  exertion. As it was just this trio, it was every man for himself!

    Each man individually takes a turn running from the start to the middle brick column and back. Meanwhile, those no t running are completing 50 squat, 100 merkins and 150 LBCs. After the last man ran to the middle column and back, the rotation of our retinue ran all the way to the stairs and back, followed by the final run all the way up the stairs and back. Needing more time to complete our counts, the running reversed course with to the stairs and back, to mid column and back, and then back up the ladder as it were.

    COT

    Burgundy took us out with some words of wisdom on which to ruminate, as well as a reminder that as the holiday season is upon us we should all be thankful for all we have in our lives both great and small. Well said, sir.