The presence of good ol’ Safety Valve has become synonymous with the F3 Thibodaux beatdown experience for months now since he decided to show up for just about everything. And, when that kind of thing happens, long-term absence of said individual has major affects not only on the the morale of the one absent but on that of the whole PAX (i.e., Y.J.). So, after hearing that Valve’s broken foot hadn’t improved much over the two-week rest period, YHC knew it was time to take matters into his own hands.
It was time to build a beatdown that would kill four birds with one coupon:
1. Allow Valve to fully participate without having to worry about the foot (hard to modify a mosey).
2. Allow YJ to participate a little more fully knowing we wouldn’t be doing any major leg stuff.
3. Come through on my vow to bring more 90’s hits that those who were in their prime during that awful decade may have erased (or claim to have erased) from their memory.
4. Still bring the kind of challenge that these PAX show up for.
Warmup: started with arm circles, which bent a few brains, and focused heavily on upper body and lower back (not one, but TWO Lafayette exercises).
Thang 1: “I bet you don’t remember this one…or wish you didn’t.”
1. “Scat Man” by Scatman John: Flutters for duration, but LBC’s during any scatting (the musical variety).
A few remembered this one, and YHC remembered in the moment that this one may have been used at a beatdown before. Lots more LBC’s than flutters, and we were all a little dumber afterward, but nowhere near the low point of dumbness that would be achieved.
2. “Pop Goes the Weasel” by 3rd Bass: Plank for duration, Kneel Diamonds on every “pop goes the weasel”.
It seemed only Popeye remembered this one, and that it was an entire rap song about (bashing) one individual, Vanilla Ice, and that it also sampled a song by none other than Peter Gabriel. And, Dox wasn’t there to guess it.
3. “Ninja Rap” by (none other than) Vanilla Ice: Bird dogs for duration, kneeling curls on “ninja”.
Vanilla’s only other (vaguely) known hit featured in the old Ninja Turtles movie sequal, wherein rubber suited turtle dancers lit up the club with a choreographed dance to this jam. The bird dogs were similar, but different.
4. “Hell” by Squirrel Nut Zippers: Penguins for duration, heels to heaven for the refrain.
These guys signaled the start of the ska movement in the 90’s, which was an important movement that had lasting cultural significance. And, that many penguins is rough.
5. “Gypsy Woman” by Crystal Waters and The Basement Boys: alternating side planks for the duration, toe-tap merkins during the droning refrain.
This one is a remarkable 7.5 minutes of brain-numbing repetitivity. Don’t pull it up–you’ll remember it and regret it. You did it, didn’t you.
Thang 2: Flora 1, 2, 3
100 WW3 situps, 10 at a time, while partner does 6-in hold
200 skull crushers (modified to 100 for time) 20 at a time while partner does X-factors
300 shoulder shrugs (mostly didn’t get to it) 30 at a time while partner holds Al Gore
PAX requested more ska, so Reel Big Fish was called upon followed by the man of the hour, Vanilla Ice.
YHC wishes he’d have made more time for this one–lots of variety, and a solid muscle burner. Gypsy Woman should have probably been skipped, and been lost to the ANNALS of time (I’m sure there’s some connection to the anals of time, but I’ll let Maneater work that out along with his comfy pillow and Fire Within jammies).
COT and Smooth prayed us out.
It was great to have Valve back in the mix, and it’s been inspiring to see YJ work through what’s clearly a lot of pain to stay in it. Much respect to you both! And, thanks to the rest of the PAX for muscling through the playlist.
SYITG,
Goose
