If one is to believe evolution, then humans and their genetic predecessors have walked this marble that we call earth for millions of years. Whether in the form of tree dwelling mammals swinging from branch to branch in search of their next Treehouse Jersey Mike’s fix(presumably) or todays more evolved version of man driving our tacticool Priuses…pri-eye?……Preese? from drive through to drive through seeking calorie dense vittles. Our predatory instincts and apex tendencies have kept us firmly at the top of most fast-food chains. But every now and then man is bumped from his predatory perch, and demoted to the unenviable state of prey. This beatdown explored this dynamic. It explores the precarious positions men find themselves in when confronted with true Alpha species. When Men meet real life Maneaters. Nine Brave PAX joined YHC at the Lion’s Den as we entered the Danger Zone:
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Warm-a-rama
Side Straddle Hops-10
Arm Circles 10 Forward, 10 Backward
Cherry Pickers-10
Abe Vigoda-10
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Danger Zone- Kenny Loggins:
-PAX performed side straddle hop while Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins plays in the background.
-Every time the words danger zone are heard PAX does single squat then resumes side straddle hop.
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Everyone knows that tigers are only afraid of two things. A gown man in a form fitting singlet, and fire. Unfortunately, or fortunately, our moose knuckle quota was reached in a beatdown earlier this week, so after an introduction to the man-eating tigress of Champawat, PAX were left with only fire to protect us on our impending safari, luckily, YHC came prepared. A chiseled-out coupon and a lantern would be our protection against any feline foe that lurked in the dark recesses around the pickleball courts. As we shuffled through the wild, another threat showed its ugly face when YHC’s shorts started to fall while carrying our taylormade torch. Luckily a PAX who we’ll call Darapox to protect his true identity, saved the day. Lifting YHC’s britches and spirits in one supportive move.
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Inspired by Lolong and Gustave, the largest and most prolific maneating crocodiles in recorded history.
Crocodile Rock- Elton John
-Plank for duration
-Merkin at Croc or Crocodile
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The Tsavo Man-Eaters were a pair of large man-eating male lions in the Tsavo region of Kenya, which were responsible for the deaths of many construction workers on the Kenya-Uganda Railway between March and December 1898, inspiring the movie “The Ghost in the Darkness.”
-So, just as the Tsavo lions pounced on their prey, PAX lunged to the next workout location.
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Bodies-Drowning Pool
-Plank for duration
-Donkey Kick at “Bodies”
-Corresponding number of Merkins at 1,2,3,4
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Brown Bears, Polar Bears, Teddy Bears….oh my!
Bears may look cuddly with boopable noses, bright loving eyes, and adorable mannerism, but behind their fake façade, bears are killers. Stronger than 10 PAX, and faster than Pope, there is no escaping a bear if it decides you are on the menu.
-So, in honor of these beautiful bloodthirsty beasts, PAX bear crawled to our next AO.
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Man-Eater-Hall and Oates
– LBCs for the duration
-when the Chorus plays the PAX will spell out Hall and Oates with their legs.
*There was a bit of chatter as to whether an ampersand was appropriate, YHC left that decision up to each PAX. It was chaos……
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Even with all of these unwarranted and vicious attacks on the innocent and pure race of humanity, we have prevailed. The Apex species, with dominion over animals. Turning the wolf into chihuahuas, bears into plushy play toys, and crocodiles into boots for rappers pretending to be country singers. Man is victorious. Through all the rain and storms that nature may bring, Mankind, still brings the thunder.
Thunder-Imagine Dragons
—-LBC hold for the Duration
—Gas Pumps on Thunder.
COT, Push-Up Pimp Tube top was bestowed on YJ who is now required to remove ¼ inch from the bottom. Side note, if that thing gets any shorter, SSH’s will need to be censored, lest we be caught in an illicit game of peek-a-boo. Prayer intentions included a number of PAX’s family members who are ill, and retreatants. HoneySuckle prayed us out.
#bloodthristythursday #lilcuz Pope #LilCuz #AmericasBest #Picadilly #HoneySuckle #Paradox #YankeeJeaux #Jacknife #Maneater #peekaboo
