YHC pulled into a crowded parking lot for a Tuesday after making a quick loop around the new lot across the street, which caused the loitering PAX much consternation and fearful curiosity. But, it was unfounded–YHC was only scouting for a usable stretch of street for the first Thang.
During the first part of the warmup, YHC was again faced with the weak, quiet cadence counting that tends to characterize the Thibodaux PAX. This weakness in an otherwise perfect PAX rears its ugly head especially when downrangers are with us–the confused outsider counts loud and proud while only about 2 or 3 locals eek out a barely audible, inaccurate count between Paradox and Yankee Joe’s comments about Tana’s hair. So, YHC shared his shame this morning, assuming the Tuesday Tough PAX would receive the blow with rock hard abs, but, alas, it was not so. You would have thought YHC had pulled out a ruler and was coming after their nether regions. All downrangers were immediately condemned and banned from future beatdowns, and warmup counts for the next two weeks are guaranteed to be a combination of both overly loud and overly quiet with side plots to overthrow the count-shamer. Well, so be it. At least we’re not overly schism prone–we should get through this no problem.
The first Thang was supposed to be a quick Bleep Test over by the bumper area, and as the PAX planked up while YHC and Pope set it up, YHC noticed that it seemed a little farther of a distance than usual. The typical bleep test consists of two lines a set distance apart, and you run from one to the other at the sound of a beep–you have to arrive before the next one because it signals the start of the return trip. So, you’re running across at every beep, and if you don’t make it before the next one, you have one more try before you’re “out”. Originally, YHC thought the distance was 40 meters (34 yards), and set it up that way, but after the first beep, it became very clear that YHC was woefully mistaken. Literally nobody made it. So, thanks to the invention of the internet, YHC was able to double check and saw that the official distance is actually 20 meters. This thew off the idea that we would be driven to finish at least 40 laps to make a full mile, but half a mile or so would have to suffice.
These men were no less tenacious, though, and YHC found himself challenged by a PAX that hung in there way longer than in previous beatdowns. As the time between beeps continued to shorten, YHC settled into what would clearly be some long-suffering. After about 40 laps, more and more PAX started dropping off, but we made a rule that you could buy your way back in with 20 monkey humpers, so as Paradiddle, Pope, and YHC tried to outlast each other, PAX with refreshed(ish) legs kept jumping back into the mix, pushing us to drive harder. It was quite the mental challenge, but all said and done, we completed about 54 laps, which is by far the highest we’ve done yet. Super impressed and grateful for this crew!
With about 15 minutes left, YHC had three songs and three core bombs to deliver. The first was “Walking on the Moon” by the Police during which we’d be on our sixes holding feet at six inches, with a big, slow flutter kick at every “walking”. This is a five minute song, so I gave the PAX a chance to end early by guessing the artist–after some work, they got it, and YHC was happy to stop after about three minutes.
The second song was “Ooh, Baby Baby” by Smokey Robinson. We held static LBC position (crunched up) for the duration, and dropped down and back up with every “baby”. This was a first for YHC, and it really worked–we’ll definitely be seeing this again.
The third was “Keep on Rockin’ Me Baby” by The Steve Miller Band–held static wife pleaser position (hip bridge up) for the duration, and down and back up for every “rockin'”. This was a killer, too–definitely worth repeating.
With about 8 minutes left, we finished everyone’s mile by running three laps around the track (thanks, Paradox, for the push!), which left us with about five minutes for Mary. We started with Hello Dolly’s, and YHC’s goal was to keep going until Yankee was no longer able to sustain his high-energy counting. It was a nice distraction, but all distractions ultimately fail against increasing fatigue, so we made it to about 34 (2:1). We filled the last 4 minutes with as many Big Boys as possible. This sparked what YHC deemed the best mumblechatter line of the morning: YJ had brought his new F3 Broga mat and was pulling it out when Paradox commandeered it for group usage the way we’ve been doing with YHC’s for the past week. A mat that big is wasted on just one, so Dox and I assumed the three-man-butt-saver position, leaving a sliver for YJ, which led him to share that he felt “like the kid who brought a new toy to recess only to have the big kids take it away.” Shared suffering, bro. That’s how it goes.
COT and the Animal shirt went to Superfun(d) (first time recipient) for his silent doggedness through the morning’s grind. Announcements and the typical accusations of exclusivity followed, and Paradiddle prayed us out.
It was awesome to push through this morning with these guys, especially having Lil’ Cuz and Superfun(d) back in the mix, and Paradiddle posting three morning’s in a row! It’s amazing how the presence of each unique man makes such a huge difference–don’t think you’re not missed when you’re not there! You know how it feels to look around the circle at each guy with gratitude that they’re there–it’s no different when we look at you! So get there!
SYITG,
Goose
