YHC touched down at a crisp cool Den today with a single mission: Prepare the PAX for one of modern man’s most grueling mental and physical battles.
An ultramarathon you say ?
No , that’s fun …I guess..enjoy your 120.0 bumpersticker bro
Surely it’s The Iditarod then??psssshh Child’s play and the dogs get all the cardio anyway.
But wait …Swimming the English Channel? …yea sure that’s cute. My grancy used to do water aerobics too.
No men , this grueling cauldron of chaos is not for the faint of heart. Today it is YHCs privilege to prepare the pax for …(dramatic pause) ….
….taking your family to the airport …there were audible gasps from the Pax as we had to fan Goose back to life after he fainted thinking about 11 suitcases in the van of power but we would soon find out the syncope was actually related to wardrobe vascular constriction.
So the peanuts were fresh , the runway was clear and if you are getting nauseated by airport puns then you better get the Dramamine baby cus this little Cessna is just getting warmed up!
Duke! Get your boarding pass
It’s time for the bean footage!! (TM)
Warm Up
Standard issue where we discussed the NYT article about pickleball injuries being the leading cause of F3 fartsacks. Hope our F3 brothers can get some help soon. The first step is knowing you have a problem.
Thang 1
As with most fruitful endeavors, the real work starts in the home. When your wife sends you to the attic to get the luggage while she crams shoes into vacuum bags.
We rifle carried over to the steps where YHC delivered a brief monologue enjoyed by all except the king of monologue’s. We want name him but he looked as if YHC was his 4th job applicant of the day who said “my greatest weakness is having no weakness”.
Pure disgust from the professor.
It fuels me.
Packing luggage
P1 100 thrusters/squats
P2 takes coupon over stairs and back in rifle carry
FencePost is a coupon thruster machine.
Thrusters really got those propellers spinning and we were halfway through a second ten count when Goose took off his hoodie and changed F3 Thibodaux forever. YHC did an actual double take as my first glance revealed Goose was covered in turquoise body paint. Closer examination revealed a women’s extra small tank top with a euro strip in the back for full trap flex. Silence descended as the backstory unfolded. Our fearless leader had wrestled this item away from his M and 2.0s to better serve the pax after the recent demise of Animal shirt 1.0.
It’s this brand of tenacity that allows Goose to lead this pirate ship with wreck-less abandon. (How he went 17 minutes with a straight face boggles my mind. )
YHC tried to recover the blackbox flight plan after this crash but I’d be lying if I wasn’t sneaking peaks at the absolute unit turquoise pectoral muscles across from me. Away from me temptress!
Alight alright , focus …this is what we trained for.
Sooooo now You have the 12 year old gmc Acadia busting to the gills with luggage and half eaten cinnamon rolls. You give the ole girl two pats on the hood, she coughs to life and you try to remember when you got new tires, 2017? we’ll be ok. It’s time to head to the danger zone.
Thang 2 ..the Danger Zone
Side Block Hops
Increasing block merkins (irkins ) on Danger zone
Full disclosure I had no idea there were that many “Dangers “ and this got out of hand fast so I had to pull the plug. Can’t win them all.
Next you arrive at the parking garage and hustle the short term lot for long term pricing (pro tip from money market Ronnie!)
TSA final boss
Conveyor belt race
2 teams
Plank side to side pull coupon under backwards when it passes pax does 5 plank jacks. Team Delta took the title with a plank Jack strategy that YJ figured out too late and Im sure there will be a Council of Jeaux about this slight very soon.
Now you get to your Gate and have 2 hours to kill because that TSA precheck ultra boost double clear (Ronnie did it again!) got you through TSA in a flash so it’s time to impress your family with aviation trivia.
Head for the hill in front of civic center.
Right answer lunge to and Back
Wrong answer , coupon lunge
1. This American aviator made the worlds first nonstop flight from NYC to Paris
Charles Lindbergh
2. 1905 the wright brothers were credited with flying the worlds first plane. first names of the Wright Brothers. (Orville and Wilbur )
3. What town did this occur in? Kitty Hawk, NC
4. What does the letters TSA stand for? Transportation Security Administration (great save by Yj)
Goose was full of that mean girls tank top swagger and crushed 4/4 questions for the pax , even guessing correct questions before YHC got them out.
Do not bring your medium difficulty trivia into the house of Dawson unless you want to get swatted into the rafters.
We finished with the main event ..
The Delta Mile
4 different layovers with a “flight in between “ and a return to baggage claim. We left Lil cuz at LAX a few times but all found our bags unharmed.
25 coupon press
25 coupon OHP
25 coupon curls
25 coupon squats
Great effort here to get our flights on time.
The real “M” VP of any travel is your wife who always plans the best travel, games, snacks, medicines and we wrapped up with a few rounds of Mary to honor our better halves.
Goose then bequeathed the Tank of Destiny to YJ and it’s future looks bright.
Announcements :
Northshore 12 hour beatdown on Saturday . Goose leaving at 4:15 from the Stage.
Buy those pre order shirts !
COT and Goose prayed us out
NMM
Does anyone else have that phrase from your childhood that at the time made you sick to your stomach but in the light of adulthood looks better and better. Mine is “your attitude determine your altitude “and if I had one coach say it I had a thousand.
F3 and our Thibodaux brotherhood has helped this phrase come to life for me. Carrying luggage, shuffling bags, coupon thrusters , silly plank races . These all can be put in the “that’s stupid “ file very quickly. But when combined with shared suffering , and an attitude of “I wont let a physical barrier break my spirit “ well then , the sky is the limit.
Thanks for flying Paradox Air
Please return your coupons to the upright position
SYITG ,
PDox
