What can Brown do for you?
After thorough deliberation and meditation on a reborn VQ, YHC listened to those muscles that were left out from previous beatdowns. These muscles craved lactic acid the way a man craves the last minute delivery of a forgotten present for Christmas. The one your wife hinted at for months and your brain reminds you on December 20th. As you track the package day by day wondering why it stays in Memphis for like 30 hours, despite a record snowstorm. YHC turned his reflection on those workers who like the PAX show up despite the rain, snow, heat and misery; in their own gloom. What better way to honor those real American heros than a UPS/Fedex/UPS inspired beatdown.
16 strong PAX trickled in to the Pelch on a glorious morning. A pre-thang sprint to the local track by Redfish checking for locked gates set the tone for the intensity that will soon follow. Speck and YHC moseyed over to the field to set the cones for the deliveries to soon arrive.
Warmarama:
Typical warmups with side staddle hops, Abe Vigodas ( fastest slow windmills ever), Arm Circles F/R, cherry pickers, high knees, butt kicks.
Pre-thang:
A nice leisure Indian run with coupon carry of course. This lead to a silent mumble from the PAX. I say silent because the words didn’t come out just facial expressions had the look of confusion and dismay. I desperately tried to include the IHURT Bluetooth speaker, a collection of uplifting songs specially picked out by the 2.0’s. Unfortunately it was the only fartsack for the morning. In disapproval I chunked it much the way your USPS man rings your door and shotputs the package from 10 yards out. Never the less, the mosey began.
The mosey took up a quarter mile up and down the road alternating between shoulder and farm carry. Redfish took the final lead and brought us into the track. We all graciously dropped our coupon at the entrance of the track, except for Piccadilly.
Thang 1:
With the PAX toes on the football field goal line a division was formed. UPS on side one and FEDEX on the other hash.
Sprint to 5 yd line, NUR back. Sprint to 10 yd line, 1 Burpee, NUR back. Etc…. Burpees correlated with each 10 yrds ( 10yd=1, 20yd=2, 30yd=3, etc…) Thang 1 finishes when each pax NURS back from the 50. A clear win for team FEDEX. The overloaded 2.0 lead to a swift bunch of child labor clearing up all questions of why third world countries utilize this work force.
The next exercise idea was a combination of Jucifer IPA and an overwhelming need to pull things. Regardless of the PAX’s CO2 narcosis the understanding of how exactly this plays, a decent level of strain was achieved. Each man lined up 5 yds apart with a specific exercise. The other man sprints from the rear, dead man pulls him to the next man in line. Takes his exercise and the next man gets pulled. This would have lead to us inching across the field 5 yrds at a time. After enough time, YHC called it. It was time to mosey.
Thang 2:
A short coupon carry back to the field where the cones awaited. Still in division, half the PAX on team UPS, other half FEDEX. Each cone 15 yds apart with a specific exercise listed. PAX were to complete the listed exercise from one cone to the next, coupons included. Each cone had “packages “ to be delivered to midfield. Obstacles always exist in each field of work. Today this obstacle were the 2.0’s Hungry and salivating sat the 2.0’s ready to defend their homes. The dogs! The PAX had to avoid the bite of these ferocious beasts, for a bite from one of those hounds resulted in 3 burpees.
1. Rifle carry lunges
2. GRR right
3. GRR left
4. Murder bunny
5. Bear crawl
Repeat back home.
The dogs showed no reserve and they seemed to multiply into a swarm of impenetrable defensive. Some PAX adapted to kamikazes, God bless these men.
Music:
Harry Nilsson releases a cult classic hit in 1971. “coconut”
None of the PAX knew this song, or at least claimed to know it. This further confirmed the YHC age.
Plank hold for duration of song, Merkin on coconut, mountain climber on doctor. Song lasted 3:50 resulting in 41 merkins.
Welcome vador and Boom, Major Bratt’s 2.0
COT and Yankee Joe prayed us out.
Wet tap
#paradox #enron #fencepost #lilcuz #piccadilly #wilford montana #toeloop #major bratt #fire in the hole #yankee joe #redfish #speck
